Genre: Angst Pairing: Reader x Yoongi Length: 1981 words Warning: Intimacy, Swearing, Depression Summary: He was my everything, but to him we were nothing. Part: 13/? I was watching Taehyung sleep beside me on the bed. He looked so at peace, I was kind of jealous. The rest of the day had been spend doing fuck all, lazing about, blasting our favourite songs, eating more food. And now he was asleep, and I wasn’t. I was restless. So many things running through my mind. Yoongi. Jungkook. Yoongi. Jungkook. It was a ticking time bomb. And I didn’t know if Krystal was still pining after Tae, but that was one thing I couldn’t stand- the very thought of those two getting back together made me shudder. Taehyung was too sweet for that malicious bitch. If he was going to date, of course I wouldn’t mind, but not with her. Sometimes I wondered what it’d be like if me and Taehyung were together- a real couple. We lived like one any way. But then I remembered that I had a toxic effect on any love interest, and no way in hell would I want that with Taehyung. I felt that if we loved each other as friends, he’d at least me in my life longer. I smiled at his sleeping form, sadly. I didn’t want to wake him so I quietly got out of bed and checked the time. It was close to one in the morning. I had been lying there for an hour, trying to sleep. I slipped out of my pyjamas and pulled on a baggy jumper and skinny jeans. I needed some fresh air, maybe it would help clear my head. I threw one last look at Tae- he was a deep sleeper so I knew he wouldn’t wake up while I was gone. I practically had to jump on him to get him up in the mornings. Stepping into my shoes, I grabbed my phone and slipped out, locking the door behind me. I had essentially locked Tae in, but he knew where I kept the other key. If he'd forgotten, he’d text me. I took a deep breath and started my walk. My earphones were in my pocket, so I plugged them in and put them on. That was me escaping from life- earphones in, world out. It was soothing, being lost in my own world. I shivered slightly at the cool night air, as I started to walk down the street. I didnt know where I was going, or even how long. But I just knew that I needed some time to help me process what was going on in my life and what I needed to do. These houses all belonged to students around here, so I knew the streets were safe as I wandered around. I stayed clear of Suzy’s place, the club, and the boys place. I actually kinda missed them, but I refrained from going because of the two names I didnt want to think about. But I thought about them anyway- Yoongi, Jungkook. Yoongi who didn’t want to let go, and Jungkook who fucked around and still claimed to ‘love’ me. If I was being stubborn with Yoongi because he’d slept with Suzy, then Jungkook should get exactly the same treatment. Not to mention all those things he had said to me. But then again, he had helped me when Mark tried to take advantage of me, and made sure I got home safely, despite me not even thanking him. Damn my conscience. I stopped dead in the middle of the street as soon as I spotted someone not that far ahead. But even in the dark, I could see who it was. I slowly took out my earphones and quietly backed off to stand in an alleyway between two student flats. Why the hell is Jungkook out at this time of night? My face scrunched up in frustration as I ran my hands through my messy hair. I didnt want to turn back yet, but I would have to. I wasnt in the mood for this fuckery right now. Maybe I’m cursed. I stood there thinking of what to do. I peeked out from behind the wall and instantly stepped back. He was staring down at his phone, but now walking in my direction. Just wait until he passes then carry on walking, I told myself. It was ridiculous, having to hide from someone I had thought of as a very close friend for so long. Someone who had studied with me every damn week. I’m pretty sure the reason I did so well on my exam was Jungkook. And now look at me, hiding from him. My chest tightened as he passed, still staring at his phone. He had probably snuck out- I highly doubted Jin knew about this. Where is he going? The only thing that was in that direction from his place was my house. But he wouldn’t be going there at one in the morning. Or so I hoped. Aas soon as he passed, I dashed out of the alleyway, back onto the street. But, I am a stupid human being who doesn’t think twice about what she’s doing. I hadn’t realised my earphones were no longer in my hand, and in fact were hanging down, near my feet. As I was walking, in my rush, I stepped down onto one of the earbuds, yanking the earphones free. I froze as my music blared out, in the otherwise deathly quiet street. “Shit shit shit”, I muttered, turning it off and stuffing it in my pocket. “Who is that?” I froze. The number of curse words that ran through my head in that split second was almost funny. I started walking, really quickly, leaving the earphones there. I had like five pairs so I wasn’t fussed about leaving them. “Hey!” I walked faster, slowly breaking into a jog, before full on running. “You dropped your earphones!” What the hell was he doing? I was a stranger as far as he knew, out in the middle of the night...most people would ignore the fact that I had dropped my earphones. I kept going. I knew for a fact Jungkook was faster than me- but I was hoping that he would assume this randomer was scared shitless of him and stop chasing them. I was starting to feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen. My feet thudded onto the concrete in a steady rhythm . I couldn’t hear him anymore, so I slowed down a little, gasping for breath. It was weird- I could dance for an hour and be ok, but I couldn’t even run for two minutes. I didn’t turn back, but relaxed a little, thinking he had given up. So naturally, I shrieked in surprise when someone yanked my backwards by the arm. “Excuse m-” As soon as I turned, Jungkook faltered, his mouth hung open. The two of us stared at each other, chests heaving from the running. He slowly let go of my arm, and I watched his arm drop back to his side. I wordlessly took the stupid earphones from him and hastily shoved them in my pocket, before turning straight back round and walking away. “Y/n...wait!” I sighed in frustration, but didn’t say anything. “What the hell are you doing out here in the middle of the night?” That was a fucking stupid question because he was also out here, but I bit back from saying anything to him. He overtook me easily and blocked my path. I stared at his chest, refusing to look at him. “Excuse me”, I spoke stoically, hoping he would take the hint. “Were you on your way to ours?” He asked, his voice laced with jealousy. Did he think I was back with Yoongi? Had he seen us earlier? So many questions. “No.” Short and cold replies- that’s how I would deal with this. “Why did you run?” Was he really asking me this? Does he think I want to talk to him? “Why do you think?” He sighed in response. I rolled my eyes- there he went again, pretending to care. Pretending I mattered. All those memories came flooding back, making my chest even tighter than it was. My walk was now officially ruined. That may or may not have been down to my stupidity but that was besides the point. I had the sudden urge to go back to the confinements of my own home. Back to bed. Back to Tae. I shook the bitter memories from my head as I stood there, glaring at him. “I hate you”, I whispered. It was barely audible, but the way his eyes narrowed, he sure as hell heard it. “No you don’t.” “Jeon Jungkook. I hate you.” I angrily wiped at the tears whilst staring into his dark eyes. There was a weird mix of anger and sadness staring right back. He didn’t say anything, so I went even deeper, trying to hurt him in any way I could. He deserved it. I remembered what he said to me that day, word for word. So I repeated them. “We are nothing. You are nothing.” “Stop it”, he ordered sternly. He knew straight away what I was doing. But I’ll be damned if I was going to listen to him. His jaw clenched and his eyes darkened even more- if that was possible. “No wonder Yoongi fucked that whore. She was miles better than you ever will be.” “Y/n...” He warned, stepping closer. I silently shook my head and laughed at myself, despite my tears. I stepped back away from him. I spoke every word slowly, and hoped that he was feeling the pain I felt- though I highly doubted it. He didn’t give a shit. “Everyone fucks you up, don’t they?” "I said stop!” He yelled. I didn’t even flinch. I felt so numb, so hurt, that I was past caring. “Your boyfriend cheated. Your best friend doesn’t give a shit. And now the guy you like fucks the same girl as your ex!” “Fucking stop!” He roared, his neck vein now prominent. I could tell he was refraining from touching me, and I was glad. No way would I cave in- not this time. “Why Jungkook? Can’t you take it?” Those were his own words, yet they angered him so much, hurt him so much. How did he think I felt? “You’re no different from Yoongi”, I whispered, not even bothering to wipe the tears now. The sleeves of my jumper were already soaked. “You’re both the fucking same. Except Yoongi is sorry for what he did.” “And I’m not?” He practically growled the question. Well, if he was, he hadn’t handled the situation very well. He had hit Taehyung, argued with Yoongi and cussed me out. That really didn’t give off an ‘i’m sorry’ vibe. I remembered his text. The ‘I love you.’ My trust had been taken advantage of too many times- I didn’t trust these two as far as I could throw them. "You don’t hate me”, he said in a low voice, he stepped up to me once more, and I stood there, expressionless. “I fucking hate you”, I replied. My voice was just loud enough for him to hear. Despite the effects of the running wearing off, my heart rate had increased again, due to how close he was to me. He wiped my wet cheeks with his own sleeve, so to make me hate him, I envisioned the selfie Suzy had sent me. I was doing this now to protect myself from getting hurt further. “Stop saying that”,he replied, now playing with my hair. I tried to jerk free but his other hand grabbed my arm. “Stop fighting me”, he whispered. “Please.” It was weird- he had been screaming in my face a minute ago, and now he looked so volatile. Good. I was still muttering the words ‘I hate you’ when his lips met mine.
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