Pairing: Namjoon x Reader
Length: 1551 words
Summary: Finally found a man I want. Until he turned out to be my student.
Only ten minutes after I had reached home, Namjoon was pounding on the door. “Y/n! Open the door!” I was sat there on the sofa, my face in my hands, crying harder than ever. I was a fool for thinking he liked me.
“Please!” He pleaded. The neighbours would have an absolute fit at the combination of his loud voice and him hammering the door. He wouldn’t leave until I answered. But I couldn’t bring myself to face him. He fucked me over, made me look like an idiot.
I took a deep breath to compose myself, and managed to choke out “Namjoon, leave me alone.” There was brief silence. I could hear his heavy breathing- most likely, he had ran here.
“Please”, he said again. This time it was a lot quieter, almost a whisper. What would he even do if I let him in? Beg? Shout? I didn’t know. I slowly got up once it had gone completely quite. Had he given up and left?
I put my ear to the door, getting a sense of deja vu- we had done this before. I shouldn’t have let him in that first time either, but hindsight was a wonderful thing. I wouldn’t check just yet. I would wait a bit. Namjoon was pretty impatient so he would probably be gone in like ten minutes, fifteen max.
He could go back to his damn neighbours house for all I cared. I mean, I said that, but the very thought of it tightened my chest to the point of it being painful. Jin, as much as I hated to admit it, had been right about Namjoon all along. I was just a body to him. This thought alone caused more tears to fall.
My knees were really grazed from that fall in the car park, and I had a slight limp from the impact, but honestly that pain was nothing compared to what Namjoon had reduced me too.
I waited. My phone had stopped going off too. Namjoon really had given up. I felt a mixture of relief and even more anguish. Jin was welcome to teach his class with that stupid temp who couldn’t even teach. Fuck them all.
I would ask the dean for transfer into a new class, and if refused, I would find a new damn job. These people weren’t worth the distress and turmoil, they really weren’t.
Never had I felt like this before. I had got through teacher training watching Jin with another girl on his arm all the damn time. I thought I would never feel as shitty as I felt back then. But Namjoon...oh boy. Namjoon had blown that feeling out of the water.
I waited about 4 minutes before deciding to check. I wanted to check for my own peace of mind. Plus I didn’t want the neighbours complaining to me about some random boy patrolling the corridor shouting my name.
I swallowed harshly and quietly unlocked the door. If you turned left, there were the stairs which went down to the exit on the bottom floor. So naturally, when I opened the door, the first place I looked was left, because at the end of the corridor to my right, was a dead end.
Before I could turn right, I was grabbed by my shoulders and whirled around until my back hit the wall. I opened my eyes to find Namjoon’s face inches from mine. My first thought was, He’s been stood out here for 45 minutes?
As soon as I had processed what was happening, I started to try and push him away, physically straining to move him back. But no such luck. “Let go of me”, I hissed. I didn’t want to start shouting out here.
“You have until the count of three, Kim Namjoon”, I threatened. “If you do not let go, I will report you for sexual harassment.” I glared at him to let him know I wasn’t joking.
“I’m just holding my girlfriend, how is that sexual harassment?” My breath hitched slightly at the world ‘girlfriend’- it threw me off guard. I don’t think he’d ever called me that before.
“I’m not your fucking girlfriend”, I replied scornfully , looking away. His grip loosened, and I took the opportunity to shrug him off and march back into my home. Of course he had to follow me. My strength was no match for his as he easily opened the door, despite my resistance.
I tutted in annoyance as he shut my door behind him. I tried to make a beeline for my bedroom, as that also had a lock on it, but he stopped me. “Y/n, wait. Please, just let me explain.”
I just stared at him in disbelief. How the hell could he explain why he had been continuously sleeping with someone behind my back? My mind flashed back to earlier, where I had been defending Namjoon in front of Jin, and I gritted my teeth in annoyance.
I folded my arms and looked at him questioningly. “Amaze me”, I muttered sarcastically. He looked surprised that I was willing to let him explain, but I was only doing it in the hope that he would leave quicker.
He sighed before started. “It’s not what it seems babe.” My jaw clenched at the word ‘babe’. Namjoon really wasn’t helping himself here.
“I am sorry,” he hesitated, “I – it’s not – we just..” He stopped.
“Fucked each other behind my back?” I asked, my voice raised. The anger was resurfacing as I realised he didn’t actually have an explanation
“She was an ex”, he muttered, his hand travelling through his hair. “Well, now that I’m your ex, feel free to make her your girlfriend again!”, I spat.
“Don’t", he whispered, his eyes meeting mine. “I’m sorry y/n, I really a-”
“Don’t be. I should be sorry. Sorry for trusting you. Sorry for not believing Jin!” He looked hurt at that.
“Sorry for not being enough”, I finished bitterly. I hated myself even more that I hated him right now. I know students always think that their teachers are in a position of power, bt that really didn’t feel like the case right now.
“No, don’t say that”, he said sternly. I could tell he wanted to come closer, but the anger in my eyes was keeping him away. “You were- are- perfect. I was the fuc up, not you.” I smiled bitterly at his words because that’s all they were to me- just words. Meaningless drivel. He was guilty Jin exposed him, that he got caught.
Lord know how long he’d been doing this- probably since I met him. But for my own sanity, I didn’t want to know.
“It was a mistake.”
“A mistake you chose to do over and over again? Well, every ‘mistake’ has consequences Namjoon. Now, go please. She’s probably in bed right now waiting for you.” I gave a small laugh before continuing. “And you don’t have to worry about me spoiling your fun again. I won’t be coming near your class. Or probably even your uni.”
“No”, he whispered, shaking his head. “No fucking way y/n, you’re not leaving.”
“You don’t get to fucking decide what I do or don’t do!” I yelled, making him jump slightly.
“No I don’t”, I was yelling but on the contrary , he was keeping his voice quiet. This felt like a battle- and Namjoon was losing. I watched as a single tear rolled down his cheek.
W-wait. He’s crying? Fuck.
He looked broken, and all I was doing was just standing there coldly, arms folded, watching him. About two minutes passed before I slowly uncrossed my arms. My fists were still clenched, but watching Namjoon cry was slowly breaking down those barriers I had put up.
“Stop crying”, I muttered, looking away. Yes. yes I was a piece of shit for not consoling him etc etc. But if he walked away remembering me as the bitch who didn’t help him, that’d make this easier for both of us, right?
He took a deep, sorrowful breath, making me look up at him once more. Now he was looking down, not meeting my gaze. My eyes scanned his whole being. His posture, his expression, everything. I wanted nothing more than to hug him, than to tell him it was all going to be OK, but the minute he’d left, how would I know he wouldn’t go back to that girl, who conveniently lived right next door?
I closed my eyes and sighed. It was taking every ounce of my being not to cry with him. “I said stop crying”, I repeated, not opening my eyes. I didn’t open them again until he stopped sniffling.
I noticed instantly that he had moved a little closer. “I don’t want this to end y/n”, he whispered shakily.
“Should have thought about that before”, I replied numbly. “We don’t always get what we want Namjoon.” He edged a little closer, not showing any signs of leaving.
My whole body was shaking from the anger, the stress, the tension. “Babe”, he whispered.
“I’m so so sorry.”
“Please, give me a chance.”
He suddenly stepped forward, enveloping me into a hug. I heard him whisper ‘I love you.”
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