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Maybe I'm Not Tyler Durden, Maybe I've Been The Narrator All Along

We all have those movies that hit us where it hurts. Maybe your issues surround your family, or relationships. You probably end up watching things like "To Kill a Mockingbird" and "The Godfather" or "The Notebook" over and over again until your eyes dry up and fall out of your head.
When we look backwards and forwards at the things that bother us most, the things that haunt us when were' just nodding off to sleep we can see them in our favorite things.
My issue?
Never being enough, choosing the wrong profession, never living up to my potential.
All of these themes are explored from a distinctly masculine perspective in the 1999 David Fincher film "Fight Club", which follows the renaissance of a hapless corporate drone without a name.
I've read countless film criticism about this film, I've studied it for school projects and delivered monologues from it for acting exercises. I know it like the back of my hand, and somehow each time I watch it I get something new and different. That's the mark of a good film.
This time I just happened to turn on the TV in my aunt and uncle's beautiful Sacramento home during a boring Sunday afternoon. I had just finished doing some half-baked core exercises on the bedroom rug because I was feeling bloated. I was mildly out of breath, and had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my day.
"If our fathers were models for God and our fathers bailed...what does that tell you about God?" I heard over the noise out the open window of my room.
During this viewing of Fight Club I find myself at a crossroads. In the past two weeks I have sent out over 200 job applications in places from Los Angeles to Barcelona and everywhere between.
I have no idea where I will be tomorrow, let alone next month.
For the past two days I've been watching House Hunters, you know that show where the rich yuppies have a realtor pick out three perfectly good houses for them to nitpick and fight over in the service of moving out of another perfectly good house? Yeah. I've been watching that every minute of the past two days. As if somehow, the act of watching other people settle down and get their lives on track would somehow make me do the same.
It's like the Ikea nesting instinct by proximity. Their homes made me feel like I had one of my own.
When you move five times in 10 months you can start to feel your skin deteriorate off of your bones. As soon as you start to feel comfortable in a place, you start to hang things on the walls and organize closets...the floor drops out from under you and you're back in your car. Your belongings (growing more and more cumbersome every month) are stacked to the ceiling of your new car.
They've been moved all over the country, and the world. Your suitcases keep getting packed up no matter how much you want to unpack them for good. Nothing is permanent, not even where you sleep at night.
It can take a toll on you. It can cause you to recede and become completely untrusting of your surroundings and even your friends, because you never know when you're going to lose them both.
Anyway, Fight Club became a welcome reprieve of being jealous of all the things I can't seem to hold on to: namely a job and a home. Two things that most people have...or at least are working towards.
I listened to all of the bar stool philosophy offered by Tyler Durden, except this time different things stuck out to me.
For some reason the Narrator (or Jack) as many film critics refer to him became the identifiable character. Most of the time, when I am at my height I appeal more to the edge-of-life Tyler. But now, feeling low and confused, trapped in a world I couldn't choose...it was the Narrator who embodied me.

I found myself completely distanced from the chaos, and toward the end of the film when the Narrator is running through the streets trying to stop himself from blowing up the credit card buildings I was rooting for him.

I rooted for him to stop everything that Tyler built. I rooted for him to get his life back, to return to his condo with all of the beautiful, hand styled furniture. I was rooting for him to settle down and return to the race of millions who were trying to get the peace of mind of stability.
I guess when you spend enough time in the Tyler Durden state of mind, you start to long for the opposite.
I flipped off the TV and sat in my bed after the last notes of "Where Is My Mind" by The Pixies rang out. I started to cry. I'm not sure what hit me, or why it hit me but something hit me. I wasn't hysterical, I wasn't short of breath. It was one of those cries where you understand what has happened to you, and you decide to move on from it.
It hit me that yet again, I'm flying without any purpose or direction. I think this will be my last entry in the AfterLife, for now. This might be the closing of a chapter and the realization that no matter how much you put into something...you never know if you'll ever get it back.Not even the chaos of enlightenment could move me. I'm hoping, that in the coming months something stable comes, so I can feel free enough again to disrupt it.
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Really... you're going to be fine. This is just the beginning of a lot of bullshit (and cool adventures) called life. So just develop a thick skin and enjoy the ride!
@Patmanmeow I've learned that all writers, artists and musicians kind of struggle with life. That's why they try to make art. I guess I do it because I'm trying to connect? But thank you for the kind words and the support.
I'm proud for finding you because I know I'm not the only writer in general who is struggling with life. You can get rejected and knocked down, cry a little if you need to, but it's important to keep moving and seeing and documenting. There are other adventures out there worth taking. Don't think of it as a short ride when there's so much road to travel onto.
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Before knowing  top 10 MLM & network marketing companies, let us know what is network marketing. Network marketing is a type of business opportunity that is very popular with people looking for part-time, flexible businesses. Network marketing, also known as multi-level marketing, is a direct selling method that uses a network of people to sell a product. The participants in this network are usually remunerated on a commission basis. Network marketing is a medium of marketing that manufacturers use to expand their sales. Here’s the list of top 10 Best Network Marketing Companies. Mi Lifestyle Marketing Global Private Limited Amway Herbalife Forever Living Products Keva Vestige Safe & Secure Online Marketing Pvt. Ltd Win Nature International Pvt Ltd Modicare IMC Mi Lifestyle Marketing Global Private Limited Mi Lifestyle Marketing Private Limited is an Indian company established in Chennai in 2013 and a network marketing company offering a wide range of lifestyle products directly to consumers and products approved by AYUSH. Amway Amway is an American company that uses a multi-level marketing model to sell a wide range of products, primarily in the health, beauty and home care markets. Amway was founded by Jay Van Andel and Richard DeVos in 1959. Amway Businesses Offer, Opportunities That Empower, Relationships That Endure. Herbalife Herbalife is a global nutrition company that has helped people to live a healthy, active life since 1980. Our nutrition, weight management and personal care products are available exclusively through our more than 2.3 million independent associates in more than 90 countries. Forever Living Products  Forever Living Products is a privately held multi-level marketing company based in Scottsdale, Arizona, which manufactures and sells aloe vera-based beverages and bee-derived nutritional supplements and personal care products. The company was founded in 1978 by CEO Rex Maughan. Keva  Keva Industries, established in 2009, is the world’s leading direct selling company, Wellness, Food, Personal Care, Color Cosmetics, Home Care, FMCG, Animal & Agriculture products. Company has more than 400 products in its portfolio, almost all segments with a unique offer of Buy 1 get 1 free. Vestige Vestige Marketing Pvt. Ltd., which started operations in 2004, is the leading direct sales company in the field of world-class health and personal care products.Vestige is growing at a phenomenal rate every year. Safe & Secure Online Marketing Pvt. Ltd Safe & Secure Pvt Online Marketing. Ltd. is an Indian direct selling company. Safe Shop offers a wide range of educational products, lifestyle, technology products. Win Nature International Pvt. Ltd Win Nature International Pvt.Ltd was Established in 2015. It is an emerging manufacturer of Ayurvedic products located in Nagpur (Maharashtra), the center of India We are a dynamic team, with expertise in manufacturing Ayurveda products and direct sales as well as men and money management. Modicare  Since the inception of the Modi Group of Industries, the core philosophy has remained consistent—to enhance, engage and empower people’s lives. This very ethos remained at the heart of the Modicare Foundation when it was established in 1996. International Marketing Corporation Pvt Ltd International Marketing Corporation Pvt Ltd. is an Indian network marketing company. IMC is an Indian direct selling company that began operating in 2007 and is a member of IDSA. The company’s turnover in 2019 is 400 crores. Conclusion Network Marketing does have its fair share of problems but they mainly revolve false and misleading information. However, you should not let false beliefs stop you from considering a network marketing business. You can achieve success if you gain solid understanding of the industry, choose a company carefully, find quality sponsors, commit time and effort to your business.  Global MLM Software is Leader in Providing MLM Software & Direct Selling Solutions to customers across the globe.  Visit our website to understand 200+ Ready to use features @ https://globalmlmsolution.com Try our Free Demo @ https://globalmlmsolution.com/demo Connect with us for Business Consultation and plan Validation @ https://wa.me/919113511765https://globalmlmsolution.com/top-10-mlm-network-marketing-companies-of-2021/
5 Good Habits You Need To Succeed in Life
The People who become Successful in life are the ones who Work hard everyday in their calling, there is no overnight success, it takes years, hard work, determination, discipline and Commitment to Succeed in Life. When you start living your life with discipline, good habits you are on the way to Success. There is no Secret of Success, its a matter of hard work , discipline and positive attitude towards life. Wake up Early Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. - Benjamin Franklin The people who get up early in the morning knows the magic of morning hours. There is something positive in morning hours which you will realized when you start getting up early in the morning. There is miracle in morning hours which will get in your life when you start getting up early in the morning, morning is the best time you can do your priorities work or you can use it in the improvement of your life. The people who get up early in the morning are the ones who are committed about their goals and dreams. Learn Everyday Reading is a conversation. All books talk. But a good book listens as well. - Mark Haddon Read everyday, learn from everywhere, you will never know how much learning is important in our life. In life we only grows when we start reading the books. There is miracle in books which you will realized when you start reading good books. Reading books is the way to Success. The Successful people never escape reading books from their habits, they learn everyday, be the student of your calling which is the first step toward success. Visionary A Great Leader's Courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position. - John Maxwell The people who don't have vision for themselves are mediocre. If you want to become Successful, create vision for your life with clarity otherwise you will remain mediocre in life. The Successful Entrepreneurs has vision for the world they live their life with clarity, they have a vision for their company, they have a vision for their team, vision for themselves which make them remarkable in their calling. Think Big It takes the same energy to think small as it does to think big. So dream big and think bigger. - Unknown In Real World Success is not determined by money, big houses, but by the size of our thinking. Start small think big, live your life with vision and clarity which help you to act on it easily. When you have Clear sense of purpose behind your dreams and thinking it becomes it easy for you to pursue your calling, live your life with Clear Why, why is your purpose which give you energy and Commitment to Succeed in your calling. When you have "Why" for your goals and dreams it becomes easy to take action on it and help you to preserve when you face obstacles and difficulties. Serve The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others. - Albert Schweitzer There are people who think what they can get from others, they always think what is in it for me. Second there are people who think how they can serve the World, they always think of what service they can give to others, they always looking for opportunities to serve others which make them Successful Entrepreneurs. The Successful Entrepreneurs are those who are always looking for opportunities to serve others, they are always think of solving people problems, they search for ways in which they can make a world a better place.
9 Signs You Have Senioritis
If you are about to graduate this year, then we’d like to congratulate you. You have successfully managed to cope with the tough and daunting four years of your life, or maybe more for a few students. But there is still a semester to go and you have to give your best shot to get a degree with good grades. For this, you need to make sure that you do not slack off on your school homework and deliver them on time. As senioritis might not be an actual disease but it sneaks up to you when you have least expected it. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to stop it. In fact, you might be suffering from it today and you don’t know about it. So, look out for the symptoms below and if you can relate with any of them, it might already be too late. 1. Procrastination, Procrastination and Procrastination If you are finishing up your assignments at the eleventh hour, you’re officially a part of the worst club of school – seniorities. And it is not something you should be proud of. Researching and composing content before a night not only increases your chances of failure but can also launch stress and anxiety. Although you can get the best UK law essay help for the law coursework or any other type of homework, you need to get back on track. 2. Failure to Keep Electronic Devices Aside You may feel that your hands are numb and your mind is fighting against your thoughts when you decide to turn off the TV or lay your phone aside. This is where senioritis is at its peak, making it impossible for you to follow up on your decisions. Here, you can do nothing but stay in that position for endless hours. 3. Inability to Remember Due Dates How are you supposed to remember the deadlines when you can barely remember to brush your hair before leaving the house? This happens when you are infected with senioritis and are unable to retain important information for a longer period. It cannot only mess up your project due dates but you might forget to take the lunch to the school or leave your keys behind while you are trying to unlock the car. 4. Trouble in Waking Up Early Studies suggest that seniorities can raise your energy levels at night, making you sleepless or irritated when you are trying to rest. As a result, you may feel dizzy in the morning and feel low in energy upon waking up. This disease has also reportedly increased intake of caffeine in last year students by almost 50 per cent. 5. Excessive Desire to Bunk Classes Have you ever tried to make excuses about false sickness or accidents so that you can skip classes and stay at home? Sadly, this is one of the ways of seniorities in students. You will find yourself reaching the maximum number of absences allowed or even exceeding it sometimes. By doing so, you not only set up a poor impression on your teacher but ruin your performance as well. 6. Lack of Motivation Whether you are having a hard time making yourself attend a school or preparing for the next big exam, seniorities are to blame. Lack of motivation and commitment is common among individuals who are infected with seniorities. However, what you can do is to surround yourself with high-esteemed and energetic fellows so that you stay motivated until graduation. 7. No Interest in Reading Lengthy Documents When you were enrolled in the program, you used to read the research papers and lengthy articles within a few minutes. So, what has happened now that you run from such documents? Well, it is definitely seniorities that is keeping you from concentrating. You may also have a shorter attention span and experience blurry vision when you try to focus on a document for too long. 8. Sense of Superiority Seniorities can make you feel like you are above and superior to everyone in the campus. When you start acting so, you automatically become egoistic and develop an attitude that has no basis. Cutting freshmen in the lunch lines and avoiding anyone less than your ‘class’ becomes a routine. Not only this but reaching the classroom 10 minutes late is nothing unusual for you. 9. Loss of Interest in Physical Appearance Repetition of clothes within a week is the most common symptom of an individual going through seniorities. Moreover, boys feel more comfortable wearing sweatpants to school and girls care less about wearing makeup each day. Therefore, if you have been least interested in maintaining and grooming yourself lately, then you might also be infected. What’s positive is that seniorities are not life-threatening and will usually go away with time. Fast forward to the graduation day, you would be all dressed up and excited for the ceremony. Until then, you have to push yourself to attend classes, complete assignments on time, look after your appearance and know that college is about to finish. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Read More Article About 6 Strategies to Get The Best Work From Your Students