When I first got a Nintendo DS, the only game I was interested in playing was the Phoenix Wright games. And even though he looks like an intense attorney in the screenshot above, he's kind of a bumbling idiot who likes to yell Objection all the time and screams about justice.
And that's my favorite thing about these games. They're strictly about being a defense lawyer and that's it. Yeah, I'm sure there's some kind of story going on in these games but I couldn't tell you what they were. You want to know why? 'Cause I'm too busy being the best goddamn attorney I can be. Yeah, that's right. I said it.
I don't have time for narrative structures or suits that aren't the color blue. I've only got time for justice and making sure the right people get represented properly. That's it. Do you even know how stressful it is being a fake Nintendo DS lawyer? You probably don't. You probably don't because you have a "real" job with excel sheets and proposals and something called "deadlines" that I don't quite understand.
And maybe you have a nice family to go home to every night. Not me, not this guy. All I got is a Nintendo DS and a bookbag filled with clothes because I'm essentially homeless and stuck in a place I don't want to be because I just lost my job as fake internet lawyer. And so what if Droid Corp went belly up, who cares, I was never good with my fake money anyway. Justice needs to be served and even though Droid Corp collapsed under the weight of capitalism, I'll be in that alley over there... No, the one by the Starbucks, serving out Nintendo DS justice.