WARNING: Feels (>])
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You close your eyes and put the phone down beside you. Lee comes over and hands you the folded up list. You take it from her, terrified to open it. He not only saw, no doubt read, and then wrote you a note on your doodle page about him. Taking a deep breath you open it and start to read.
I find myself unable to sleep, even though you are next to me. I probably should not be writing this but feel I must. You are not what I expected. I find myself asking the same questions that I see on the other side of this paper. I assume they yours.
Changes in my life that were only thoughts before have risen again due to your presence. I feel that now is the time to set them in motion. To do that, I will be leaving the country today. Due to your current situation, I feel you need time to heal without interruption from me. I will miss our nightly calls but hope to find you in a better place when I return. If you do need to chat, please don’t hesitate to call or text me, I will never not answer you.
I am spending far too long just watching you sleep, I must go.
Until I return.
You hand the paper over to Lee. She collapses on the bed next to you.
“Holy shit! So is he saying he has feelings for you too? Beyond that of a friend?” She looks up and over at you, “He really isn’t saying anything one way or the other is he?” You shake your head and she hands you back the note.
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. He’s in Seoul, we're here. I really don’t think there is anything to do.” You sigh and pull your knees up. “I like Eun, I don’t want to hurt her.”
Lee looks over, “But you love [HN] don’t you? I can see it; I’ve been seeing it since we arrived.” You look up at her at that comment.
“What do you mean?”
“I wasn’t sure until I saw you with him. You’re you plus when he's around. I really don’t know how to explain it any better. It’s like you light up, from the inside, when you’re with him. It’s actually pretty amazing to see. And you know what else I see? He does the same thing. I know I don’t know him but it’s an obvious change, in both of you.”
You put your head back on your knees.
“But I can’t have him, it’s not right. I don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t think it’s your choice. Seems to me that it’s his choice whether he leaves you as a friend or whether he leaves his girlfriend and pursues something with you. At least they aren’t married. I mean it will be sad for Eun but if they were married? I think that would be devastating.”
You stand up from the bed,
“Enough. I can’t dwell on it, whatever happens, happens. And now that I’m here instead of there, maybe nothing will happen at all.”
You head over to get your clothes from your suitcase, “What do we have planned today?”
During lunch you receive a new text.
[HN]: [YN] I wish to talk with you, would tonight be good?
YOU: Sure, we don’t have plans tonight. Calling at the same time?
[HN]: Very good. Thank you.
Lee looks up from her book, “[HN]?”
“Yeah, says he wants to talk to me. It sounds like he’ll be calling tonight.”
She nods and goes back to reading. You pick your book back up but really can’t concentrate. You don’t want to assume or guess what he wants to talk about but it’s difficult not to.
Your airline ticket was purchased as open ended; you pay for it when you book it to head back. You weren’t sure what you’d find when you got here or what Lee would need. Unsure if you were staying an entire month or less, you're glad now that you didn’t waste the money with a set date of departure. However; he doesn’t know that. To his knowledge, your trip is over tomorrow and you fly out on Saturday. Maybe he just wants to say goodbye, make sure that you understand what ‘just friends’ means.
Is it wrong that after the text he sent last night that you’re hoping it means more? Will you ever be able to talk to him again without feeling giddy yet heart-broken? Why does finding your soul mate mean pain? Shouldn’t it mean happiness? Yeah, yeah you tell yourself; without pain there isn’t joy. If the two of you had been single when you met, would you still have realized just how wonderful he is? Or does it take wanting him, but not having him, to make you appreciate him that much more?
The hours rush by faster than you thought they would. In one respect that’s good; you can’t wait to hear his voice again. On the other hand, you’re anxious and dreading what he might say. Please don’t let me make a fool of myself, you silently pray.
Around 9:30 that night there’s a knock on the door. Both you and Lee look over at each other,
“Did you order room service?”
“No, you?" After a minute she smiles, "Or, maybe he sent you something again?”
You shrug at her suggestion and get up to answer the door. You can’t see anyone through the peep hole, they must be standing off to the side. There's no cart, no flowers; you hesitate before unlocking the bottom but leaving the chain in place.
“Yes?” you call out to what you think is an empty hallway.
Movement from the right catches your eye as [HN] turns to you.
“I sent you myself.”
Sorry, not sorry lol another cliff hanger ;) But this is a nicer cliff hanger isn't it? :D