With the next installment coming out today, I thought Id see its predessor first since I never saw it. Snow White and the Huntsman is a movie I knew about but never saw because 1. Kristen Stewart 2. The trailer never really stood out to me. 3. Kristen Stewart. Ive run into a few people who like this movie and cant wait for Winters War, so I decided to take a crack at it. So how was it? Ummmmm…maybe I should just skip to the good and bad so you can see for yourself. Warning: Spoilers
What was good? 1. The Sets. The castles, the forests, everywhere these characters go are wonderfully designed and detailed. Snow Whites castle used to be light and happy, but once Ravenna takes over, it becomes dark and dreary. Its the same castle just with different tones. Everything from the foliage to the stones look like its either out of a fairy tale or a horror novel. 2. The Effects. Yeah the effects were pretty decent. The crows forming into Ravenna and vice versa, the earth troll, the fairies, etc. all looked visually amazing. ...yeah thats all Ive got to say about whats good.
What was bad? *cracks knuckles* 1. Kristen Stewart and Snow White. Of all the actresses in all the world, they had to pick Kristen Stewart? 1. Shes not that pretty to be considered the fairest of them all. Yes, beauty is skin deep and they sort of mention that, but they mostly talk about how beautiful she is, how shes the fairest. I just dont see her as Snow White. 2. Her acting is very wooden and she makes the same face throughout the movie! She brings 0 personality into her character. Theres nothing special about Snow White. Shes just there. She literally doesnt do anything. All she does is run away with a scared/uninterested look on her face. The trailer described this version of Snow White being brave and a fighter, but you dont get any of that until the final battle and even that doesnt make any sense. She only "fights" Ravenna (quotations because shes mostly getting her ass handed to her) and defeats her in the most anticlimactic way possible, using the only fighting move that was taught to her. This character and this actress are beyond weak.
2. Queen Ravenna. Charlize Theron…what did they do to you? At first, I liked Ravennas character. She was cunning, manipulative, and all around evil…then she went all coo coo for cocoa puffs. She's calm one minute, then screaming the next. There's no more subtlety or elegance to her anymore. All that gets thrown out the window to make room for her acting strangely bipolar. Whisper, scream, whisper, scream, etc. She was just annoying. Her flashback scene didnt really do much for her either. There was nothing about her that made you feel empathetic towards her.
3. The Writing. Everything about this movie thats wrong starts from the script. Its dialogue is awkward and the story itself makes no sense. Ex 1. When Ravenna succeeds in her mutiny and takes over the kingdom, shes pissed. Why? We dont know. Its never explained. Ex 2. Finn, Ravena's brother, tells the huntsman that Ravenna doesnt have the power to bring back his wife as promised. Dude, why would you do that? Why would you say that BEFORE he hands over Snow White? Its never explained. Ex 3. When Ravenna returns to the castle weak and aging reaching for her mirror...then the next we see her, shes young and beautiful. How did that happen? Isnt she supposed to take out Snow Whites heart in order to do that? What happened between those 2 scenes?! Its never explained. Ex 4. Why doesnt Snow White just tell the Huntman who she is? It wouldve made things so much easier for both of them! "Im the Kings daughter." "You are? Well now I'm much more motivated to get you to safety!" Her only explanation is that she couldnt trust him. While that may have worked before when he hunted her down, that excuse becomes overused and stupid when he's guiding her out of the forest! How much trust do you need? If she told him, then he wouldnt have abandoned her at the fishing village! Id give more examples as to why the writing sucks, but we'd be here all day and my fingers would bleed from all the typing. Also wanna add that the deer spirit-thing looks awfully familiar. Where have I seen it before? Oh yeah, the Great Forest Spirit from Princess Mononoke! Im not kidding you guys. Look at the last 2 pictures. They look scarily alike. Dont bring Miyazaki into a shithole like this!
4. Underdeveloped Characters. Lets play a game. Take a shot when you spot a major character thats not developed....well I got drunk quickly. Lets see: Snow White, Queen Ravenna, Finn, Huntsman, William, The Dwarves (RIP Bob Hoskins), yup Im drunk. We already spoke about Snow White and Ravenna, lets talk about the others. Huntsman: the stereotypical drunkard who lost his wife and eventually comes out of his drunk stupor to save the day. Its the same old formula with nothing new introduced. Finn: just plain creepy. Thats his character, the creeper, nothing else. William: the pretty boy. Well to be fair, before reuniting with Snow White, he was interesting. Hes a master bowman and it was smart of him to join his enemies to find Snow. Thats all washed away when he does reunite with Snow. He becomes bland and puppy-eyed about his love for her. Dude, you were just reunited. Talk and catch up before you say youre in love. The Dwarves: meh. They dont really show much for character, hell I dont even remember all their names! I dont even know ANY of their names! If you dont remember a characters name, its not because youre having a brain fart, its because they didnt do anything memorable.
5. The Editing. I wasnt a big fan of the editing choices made here, most especially the flashback scene. Theres a flashback scene that sort of uncovers Ravenna and Finns past...except for the fact that you can barely see whats going on. Its all whited out and hard to see. I had to look up their past on google and read it because I couldnt see what the hell was going on. I cant find any pictures of the scene right now, but when I do find them, Ill put them up.
So whats the final verdict? This movie sucks. It takes itself WAY too seriously, the writing is terrible, the story itself is deplorable, and the characters are underdeveloped and boring. We know nothing about them, therefore we dont care what happens to them. You want a Snow White with a personality whos also brave and empowering? Watch Once Upon a Time. Ginnifer Goodwin's performance gives you loads of greatness from the character. Its a shame that we have some great actors in like Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, and Bob Hoskins (this was his last movie before he died) in such a bad movie. Also what do you want me to review next week? Something old? Something new? Something good? Something bad? Let me know in the comments. If I dont get any requests by Thursday, Ill just put something out. K? Fair? Goodie.