this upcoming Friday, June third 2016, I will be officially put on the States payroll as an employee. now while most people, myself included, see this as a grand opportunity to finally become a successful man, I also can't help but feel the pressure of knowing that if I fail this for whatever reason.. my family fails as well, and we all suffer. now before you go and tell me I'll be OK... I should be, but at the same time I feel like the testing bridge that has reached it's limits..the pressure to succeed feels like a volcano welling inside of me! no ladies and gentlemen, nightmares aren't just for children, grown men and women get them too, however there is no blanket to hide from the adult nightmares...we just learn to live with them.