Dear Journal, I usually don't do these things like writing to a journal because I always thought it was so stupid but I need something to vent out what I've been feeling so here it goes. It has been a year and three months since Hongbin and Dasom left with their parents to California for "summer vacation". I say "summer vacation" because when they were saying their goodbyes they never said "I'll see you soon" or "see you after the summer break." So I knew their leaving was going to be a permanent one. Why does everybody that I love end up leaving me at some time in my life. My mom left my dad and I when I was ten years old and a few months after my dad passed away from a broken heart. Since I was only ten years old by that time I had to stay with my aunt. And that's when I met Dasom and Hongbin. We went to the same school and we lived a few blocks away from each other. After I returned to school a month after my father passed away I was really depressed then Dasom came up to me and gave me a lollipop but she never said a word to me. The next day I gave her a chocolate bar and thanked her for the lollipop and she smiled. We then started talking and becoming close friends and she introduced me to her twin brother Hongbin who was also in the same class and after that we have been inseparable. In middle school Dasom, Hongbin, and I decided to start working and saving money so we could move out by the time we graduated high school and we achieved our goal but even before we got the chance to even live together Dasom and Hongbin parents took them away. So here I am in my second year of college living alone in a big apartment that was meant for the three of us. I know you're probably wondering why didn't I just by a small apartment for myself. But that is because I still have some hope that one day they'll come back. Love's Useless, Chichi Oh snap! I'm going to be late for class. I put on my burgundy leather jacket, with a black tank top under and black jeans and my black studded combat boots with my black leather book bag. I like Friday's because it's when we get to do field work for class. I'm a photography major at FIT and I have a paid internship as an assistant photographer in Vogue magazine. I'm living the life that I've always wanted. But...why am I not happy? "Class, today we will take pictures here in central park and don't forget to concentrate only on your topic." Professor Kern says while holding a hat full of folded pieces of papers inside of it. Everyone takes a paper out of the hat and I'm the last to choose. I open the paper to see the word 'Family'. "Great." I say under my breath. "We'll meet back here at 4 o'clock." Says Professor Kern. I start walking towards the playground because that's where families would be. Right? I never had one. Well a real one. I see a mother and a father pushing their kids on the swings. I take a few pictures of them and then suddenly my chest becomes tight and my vision gets blurry and before I know it I'm on the floor. "Are you ok?" I hear a distant voice. My vision is slowly returning and I see a guy with milky white skin, almond eyes, and a worried look on his face. "Are you ok?" He asks again while holding my arm to help me stand up. "I'm fine." I say in a dull tone and remove my arm from his grasp and stand up on my own and walk away. I hear the guy's footsteps coming after me. "Are you sure you're ok?" "Yes I'm fine." I say still looking forward. "Well.. hi my name is Ken. We're in the same class." He says while putting his hand out for me to shake. I don't respond and just keep on walking. "You're Chris..." He starts off. "People call me Chichi." I cut him off. "Ok Chichi. It's nice to meet you. And by the way you shouldn't frown so much you're too pretty to have wrinkles." Ken says and walks in front of me and I stop in my steps and stare at him confused before I shrug it off and just keep on walking. "Ok class good job today. Make sure to send me all of your pictures to my email with a brief description about what your pictures are portraying." Professor Kern says. Professor Kern dismisses everybody except for me. "Chichi can you come over here for a minute." Professor Kern says. "Sure." I say walking towards him. "Are you ok?" Professor Kern says concerned. "Yes I'm fine. Why?" I say confused. "Ken told me about how you fainted earlier." Professor Kern says. "Are you sure that you're fine?" "I'm fine really." I say annoyed. Then I see Ken come out from behind the professor. "Just in case, it'll be better if Ken walked you home." Professor Kern says. "That's a great idea." Ken agrees. Great. Now Mr. sunshine is walking me home. Ugh. I start walking away from the professor and Ken. "Chichi hold up." I can hear Ken saying while walking towards me. "You don't need to walk me. I'm fine." I say annoyed. "I can't just leave you after you fainted like that." Ken says. I sigh. The whole way home we don't say one word to each other. I could see Ken open his mouth a few times hesitating to say something but then doesn't. We arrive in front of my apartment building and I go inside without saying goodbye to Ken. "Goodbye." Ken says half heartedly. I remove my boots at the door and drop my bag next to the coffee table and throw my self on the couch. The image of the family in the park appeared in my head again and I feel tears fall from my eyes. *phone vibrates* I quickly wipe away the tears from my eyes. "I don't know this number." I say and cautiously hit the answer button and bring the phone up to my ear. "Hello?" "Did you make it home safe?" Says the voice in my phone. "Who's this?" I say. "Oh yeah. Sorry. It's Ken. I just wa...." Ken says. "How did you get my number!?" I say angrily. "That doesn't matter what matters is that you're fine." Ken says. "Are you serious? Bye Ken." I say and remove the phone from my ear and then I hear Ken say something. "What?" "Ok. I got your number from one of your friends." Ken says defeated. "Oh. So you're a stalker now." I say. "I was just worried about you." Ken says. "Why? You don't even know me." I say "Well..then... sorry for bothering you." Ken says before hanging up. I kind of feel bad for being like that to Ken but I don't want to risk having to lose another person in my life. I put my phone on the night stand, shower and get ready for bed. As soon as I lay down I instantly fall asleep. *phone vibrates* Should I keep on with this story? Let me know in the comments! 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