sophiamor
a year ago1,000+ Views
Is Moving in Together Before Marriage a Good Idea?

My cousin is debating moving in with her long-time boyfriend and is sort of freaking out.

She was raised by a very traditional Catholic family (seriously, her dad and brother both went to the seminary to become priests before deciding they wanted a family...) so living under the same roof with your husband before marriage is just not something you do.

Pros:

See how they live.

This person is going to be your roommate for LIFE. You need to know their living habits, and there are plenty of things that you might not see happen when you aren't around.
Maybe you have a pet peeve you didn't even know about and they drive you INSANE. Better to find that out and work together to overcome it beforehand rather than discover it after marriage, right?

You can test it out.

What if you're worried that after marriage the spark will be gone? Moving in with them might show you how marriage life will be like (since really, after signing a paper your relationship really doesnt change...)

Less stress after marriage.

Getting married is super stressful. Wouldn't it be nicer to, after organizing the wedding and doing all that paperwork, to not have to think about moving all your shit into one house? If you're already living together that's one thing off your check list.

Cons:

You feel pressured.

What if you aren't planning on getting married any time soon, or, at all? Family, friends, and even your subconscious can make you feel rushed into marriage and that could make your relationship uncomfortable.

Its less of an escape.

Going out to meet your partner, or to have them come over...its a change of scene. When you're living together its so easy to get into a routine and become this old married couple without even getting married yet! Sometimes that little escape from daily life is really necessary in a relationship.

What do you guys think about living together when you're still just dating?

45 comments
I've been living with my boyfriend for the past 6 years. We have been living together since the four month maker and had a child together in the first year...so yeah I'm cool with it. We are not very traditional by any stretch of the word though so I don't know if my input really weighs much.
a year ago·Reply
It's better than divorce which I've already been through. We were planning on getting married but after the 2nd year, I discovered unacceptable behaviors that he refused to correct.
a year ago·Reply
if there are DEFINITE plans to get married, sure. otherwise there's a good risk of becoming the perma-girlfriend
a year ago·Reply
@misssukyi @caricakes @sophiamor Absolutely, if you already know that you are going to get married then the pressure is off. But for those couples who aren't sure, OMG...it can be a not-good decision for many reasons... #cantelaborate #mentalblock
a year ago·Reply
I'd never move in with a guy who isn't my husband, but that's just me.
a year ago·Reply
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