So this.....thing is going on at my work that I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. I'd mentioned to a friend who recently started that I kinda have um, an interest in one of our co-workers so now my friend is going around playing match maker. I didn't ask him to, and honestly I'm so awkward when it comes to my crushes that I have no game. Like he could be trying to make the first move and I'll have no clue that it's even happening! I'm pretty happy being single, I hear about all my friends either getting married or having kids and I'm just thinking "am I missing something?" And then there's my grandmother telling me that I'd be so much happier if I could "find a nice boy and get married" like my friends. Thing is I'm not just into guys, I'm attracted to all genders. But I tried explaining that I don't care about all that....or at least I didn't before I met aforementioned co-worker..... The biggest problem is that my friend is trying to get things moving forward and is planning on a double date with his fiancee (who I don't like in the least) which I just know is going to be awkward. Hard part about that is I'm not the type of person who can do anything to hurt feelings (even if it is better for me than going along with insanity) I just can't do it!
I like this guy even though I don't really know that much about him, but I want to....I don't know how to take the conversation in that direction....plus I've had people tell me that dating a co-worker can be a problem, or I shouldn't do it because it's gonna end badly and then working with him will be awkward. (couldn't be any worse than it is now, right?) I've thought about all that, but what if it works out for us and I end up in a stable relationship with someone who actually cares about me and I won't get abused again? There are so many "what-if" and so many things could go wrong, then again there's also the "why not" and "it could be fine" that I spend most nights lying awake just.....wondering what could happen.