3 years ago1,000+ Views

Tracy McMillan has written for a ton of the top TV shows and is most interested in human relationships.

In her TED Talk (viewed more than 3 million times) she touches on how we find the person we REALLY need to marry.

She starts off by telling us about how she thought of love when she was a child, citing the popular nursery rhyme. *k-i-s-s-i-n-g*

But her life totally didn't end up like that.

She's been married and divorced three times, and she says its because she consistently married the wrong guy for her. She says her husbands were awesome guys, but they just weren't the people she should be marrying.

She brings up her philosophy of "marrying yourself."

Here's what she means.

In marrying yourself, you need to commit fully to yourself, Focus on you, and understanding you. Once you realize that you're whole and can stand all by yourself you'll see that you don't need any man or woman to complete you.
She believes that so many marriages fail because the partners believe that they are lacking, and they're looking for someone to fill that gap.

She goes deep into her love life (which is wild!) to show how she had to overcome all of the mistakes she made to get to where she is now.

One thing she found from this practice that hit me pretty hard was that once loving herself, and she went on a few dates...

She found that instead of wondering if the man liked HER, she was focusing on how SHE felt in his presence. She's listening to herself and her needs, not trying to prove anything to anybody.

"I'm more interested in how I feel about me, than how he feels about me."

What do you think about this philosophy? Would it work for you?

the only issue I see with her philosophy is that technically there is no "right" person.. love is work and if Mr right doesn't let it work then there is really nothing you can do..don't focus on whether they are right or not but instead focus on if you would be willing to fix problems with this person or not
very beautiful philosophy, and very true as well. I never dated in high school because I was afraid of what girls might think of me., so I missed out. after high school, I want to Costs Rica and soon learned to love myself and started focusing on what I wanted as a person. that wish came true about two years ago and we've been married for a year now it couldn't be happier. :) follow this philosophy and you will find the "right" person.
Taking marriage advice from a three time divorcee & my parents who never got divorced. I think I know who to listen to. haha
no, because i always consider the other person other than me.
Marriage was always about sacrifice not selfishness. Sorry, I'll take my advice from the bible before some opinion of a human being trying to justify her selfishness and and divorce. There is nothing good about divorce in my opinion.
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