Advice Please!!!
My soon-to-be ex-husband's ex fiance started working with me. I have no problem with her because I don't really know her, and what happened between the two of them is between them, in my opinion. However, she has been manipulating the manager and other co-workers to try to get me fired or to quit. I can't afford to just quit right now, not without another job lined up, and I don't want to cause someone else to lose a job just because there's a grievance. I've tried talking to her, and she says she doesn't have a problem with me, but it was through another co-worker that I learned she is going behind my back and trying to make it seem like I'm not doing my job properly and disrespecting customers. What can I do, besides quit?
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also, it's okay to put yourself first in this situation.
a year agoReply
(Ummm... still trying to wrap my head around the "soon to be ex husband's ex fiance" thing, but assumably that's a major tangle in the knots... 馃槙 ...if you could elaborate on that a little, it might highlight a solution) As far as working with her, it sounds like jealousy rearing it's ugly head (jealousy *never* expresses directly, and always "works in the shadows"), so I'd say you made the first step posting online about it. It sounds like the typical political "kicking under the table" that certain elites like to foster (that whole "Win, no matter the cost!" philosophy), so be mindful that it's likely you're dealing w/ an "opponent", and no simple one @ that... Rule #1 in "suprise boss battles"; Never be afraid to call for backup...! (but clue us in about particulars so we can suggest strategies)
a year agoReply
It sounds like you were working there first. I would let the manager know that there is a personal conflict between the two of you, without divulging too much personal info. You can mention that you tried to resolve it. Ask to change your shift so you do not work together. In the meantime, look for something else. From your side of things, this female is not mature. Don't expect her to change. After that, continue to take the high road and be professional. Whatever you do, stop people from coming to you about her. Ignoring her is going to bother her more. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I hope everything works out in your favor.
a year agoReply
Soon-to-be ex husband...still technically married, but not together...his ex fiance from before he and I started dating. She says there are unresolved issues between them, he says All issues were fully resolved and she's just psychotic. I just want to be able to have a peaceful work environment, but the other day, she (Ex-g) goaded another server (S) into calling the manager over something that could have easily been resolved by a quick talk in private. What happened was...one of S's tables moved to my section, but I didn't see that. I looked up from doing dishes and saw customers that had been seated and served drinks, so I thought someone had set them up for me, as we're supposed to, to help each other out. When I got to the table, she insisted they had moved from her section. Admittedly, I argued with her at first, not sure if she was trying to pull a fast one. But when the customers confirmed they had moved, I said "Okay, that's fine," and walked away. I thought that was that. A couple minutes later, though, she said she was just going to go home if there was going to be a problem. I said, " there's no problem, id just like a head's up if your table moves so there's no confusion." Ex-g overheard us and quite loudly and insistently urged S into calling the manager. This caused the rest of the staff to assume that I was creating a problem, and I was treated like a pariah for the rest of the night. Since then, the manager and other staff have been listening to whatever crap Ex-g spouts and treating me like I don't do anything, when I'm one of the few who comes to work to work, not to hang out and gossip all shift. The only ones who don't treat me like that are the ones I've worked with from day one. I would have walked away if they weren't there to help me feel a little welcome. I'd talk to the owners, but the manager is the only person who has any contact with them, so idk how that would go. I'm already looking for a job to fall back on though.
a year agoReply
She sounds like a piece of work. I hope you find something soon.
a year agoReply
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