2 years ago1,000+ Views

Would you rather have an exciting, confusing, passionate relationship or a safe, calming relationship?

Well, you shouldn't have to choose. You should have both.

I recently read an article about people confusing anxiety for love and it really got me thinking about girls and guys I know who were in totally unhealthy relationships just because they thought that is what relationships were supposed to be like.
(You can read the full piece by Zara Barrie here)

After a year of a relationship that made her feel self conscious, nervous, and not good enough, a good friend of Zara asked her why she was still dating her then-girlfriend.

“'Because it’s exciting. I prefer excitement more than just a safe boring love,' I answered. Had my voice become quieter?
As soon as the words came out of my mouth I knew I was fucked up. I knew how dumb it sounded. How had I let myself become a victim to 'love?' I knew this wasn’t who I was. I knew I had to get out and find myself again."

Here's a really interesting video by Buzzfeed that shows you how subtle unhealthy, emotionally abusive relationships can be.

Sure, you should feel giddy and nervous waiting for her phone call, but you shouldn't be nervous about what she thinks of you or if she'll get angry, or if she'll make you feel bad about yourself because of something you did.

You shouldn't feel controlled, only supported and cared for.

It is so easy to confuse love and anxiety, so please talk to someone if you think that you're unsure about the health of your relationship (hint: if you're afraid to talk to your partner about it, that may be a key sign that your relationship needs work)
When I was younger I was literally held against my will in a relationship. Whenever I'd try to leave, he'd make me stay by yelling, threatening, and scaring me. I was terrified to leave him at that point. Not until my parents found out and forced us apart that I realized the relationship wasn't what I WANTED, I was too scared to try and leave. Even after we broke up I wanted him back, he's all I knew and I was scared to go through it with anyone else. I've learned and grown a lot since then...
that's what i learned about myself when i was only dating around. if i ask myself questions like "why am I acting like this, when I'm around him?" - like i don't know who I am, or doubt myself, then I know that that guy is not good for me.
All relationships are work.....being married is work....
it can definitely be confusing! I think most of us love the passion and excitement of love but also need the peace, commitment and stability of mature love. in the beginning of a relationship it's not so clear if you will have both but sometimes you get swept away with the feelings of the moment 😍. Then you find out not so nice qualities and can feel stuck.
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