2 years ago500+ Views
I remember how all the things you would do that would make me upset,
I remember the things you would say to provoke my anger and sadness,
To control a person is the game that you play, I easily became a player throughout
The madness,
Both sides of the spectrum I've played, While I couldn't ever control anybody,
I was being control and could never seem free because of the pain you caused me,
Sometimes I looked around wondering does peace make this type of sound that I hear in my head as the end of night fades away with regret and dread,
The sound of voices and excuses made to evade the face of fear as I struggle to become
Staying late to recap the day that I have fought through just to reach this point,
I felt as if peace couldn't really exist without having people present,
Making many friends who soon turned out to be associates in disguise,
Losing myself slowly day by day,
The very core of my being fades to nonexistence,
Persistent on irrelevancy soon erupts into bigger problems,
Caused by the common core that pumps blood into other problems,
Being myself was not a desire because of how you made me feel about myself,
As a result, I allow you to control me and manipulate me into being something I am
Not destined to be...see...throughout..this..process...I had to learn are..not..all Well yourself,
I could label you as a misfit and treat you like you aren't worth two cent,
Ignore you as we see each other and talk about you as I continue to let it bother me like a 8 year old who will not stop until his parents get him a new toy,
But I had to acknowledge that you probably feel just like I do,
And with that being said, I forgive you,
I hope you can find joy throughout yourself as self-hate can manifest and create a world that will eventually leave you with nobody else to back your corner,
This world is tough and the best I can do is know that I can control what I do and I choose to leave this alone because it's not worth my life to live in hate and anger,
I love you and forgive you, but I will never forget the pain you have caused me.