2 years ago500+ Views
Walking isn't my forte Waking up isn't my style Working isn't anything either. My life is nothing important honestly. I've grown to feel disappointment in everything and everyone. I've grown to just not care. Seriously, I don't care and it hurts people because they think that just because I look like an angel, or a sexy god or "cute" that I will care about everything they do. Fuck that. If i had to explain the list of things i don't care about it won't be too long but enough to make your mouths agape. I love somethings and some people who have betrayed me and i love those who hate me. They make me stronger. I live in Jeju, far from the city and closer to the beach just because it's peaceful. I live alone because i have nobody left to live with and i like it that way. My oldest sister, Namue, moved away to live with her husband Jaebum or whatever his name is. She says that's what she likes to call him and whatnot. They've been together for 6 years already living a luxurious life and enjoying basically everything. I look away from the world sometimes and imagine "what is our future going to lead us to?" but i cant focus on that when the present is right in front of me. God i live a sad life man. But yo seriously what's there to care about when nobody care about anyone anymore. They ignore you even if you're hurt because it's none of their business and because they don't know you. Sometimes i wonder why they say people will always help you but they can't even help themselves. Fuck, my older sis, Xi Zui ( Zu) , couldn't pick a better boyfriend than that guy Bambam. He doesn't care about her, barely gives her any attention and is always leaving the house. I know he's cheating but i won't tell her until she finds out for herself because i don't want anything to do with them anymore, especially him. There's a small park i go to when i want to let of some steam. I grab a pack of cigarettes and just smoke out the stress. I remember clearly, everything that happened that day. Dad was really sick and needed hospitalization. They said he had terminal cancer. We visited him and gave him enough love and care. That was until mom decided to unplog him cause she knew he had little time. She said that when she went to the hospital he asked her to do it but i know she just did it to inherit all his money. She was always a golddigger and wanted to have more than she already did. Greedy bitch. She now has a boyfriend and saying that she's changed, that she's no longer the woman she once was. I don't give a shit. My, my, my. The air is so calm and nice today. I feel one with Earth and i feel like i'm flying. Whaatttt are all these feelings coming from me? whyyyy do i feel so nice and happy today? hm, well i better save it before it ends, god knows time is more expensive than gold. I feel alive and great. I feel at peace....
Eunji ( Xi Zui [ Zu ] ). Her prepective
My life? well it's been good so far. I don't have anything to worry about or something to feel bad of. If you couldn't tell the sarcasm then you must be pretty stupid. My life is shitty and pointless. The only one who cares about me is my brother but even he doesn't give a shit anymore, we both gave up in life. I'm sure living good but i have million of things to worry about. I got a crazed "boyfriend" who apparently wants to blend in with everybody and everything and always comes back drunk or horny. I dumped him years ago but the dumbass still thinks we're dating. So i just gave up. I have nothing else to live for or to lose. My brother doesn't even bother to ask if i'm ok, something about solving my own problems by myself, lovely. Bambam is who i personally which i had killed years ago but i don't want to because i feel bad for him. The dude's got it pretty tough with his parents. I don't care for a lot of things like my brother and sometimes i give up on those things just so that i don't have to look back and remember what they've done to me or what I've done to do them. My past is one of the many things i'd like to forget, I'd like to get rid of the bad memories and move on but our past is what led us to who we are right now and it's what makes us re-think our life choices for the better but who give's a fuck about their past. I know my older sister Namue is living a great life. You should go and bother her instead of me and Jackson. We're just people with nothing left to lose. Namue is living a life a human would love to live and her husband is a hell of a man but not my type, i don't like serious men. She tells me so much about everything she does that sometimes i wish i was her. But i know i'll get tired of everything because i'm not used to living a good life or the rich people life. All three of us know that it was money what led to mom being who she is now: a golddigger. Mom always said i was her favorite out of the three of us because i was the most innocent, disciplined and "caring". But what does being innocent ever get you in a world like this. It's true that i'm a very disciplined person but i'm not caring. I lost that a long time ago when our family extricated. Everyone wanted nothing to with anybody and they wanted freedom from the life they used to have. But we're still living that life, we're still going through that non-stop roller coaster. Going back and forth trying to think of what to do with ourselves. It's a sad life indeed, but that's what happens when you have a dick for a father, a slut for a mother and dumbasses for siblings. But then again i am thankful that i still have some people in the family who still talk to each other despite being separated. Because we're just people with nothing left to lose.
I'm sorry if i added somethings that offend you guys because i actually was thinking of Bambam's incident along with Yugyeom's but that's over with i think. Still, i'm sorry.