Pairing: Hoseok x Reader (?)
Length: 2298 words
Summary: In a heartbeat, he became a stranger.
Jimin was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel when I got to him. “Ready?”, he asked, glancing at me. I just hummed in affirmation, too deep in thought to respond.
He started the car and slowly manoeuvred out of the tight parking space. “Y/n, you alright?”
“Yeah”, I nodded at him, a small smile on my face. “It’s just annoying, you know? Like, there is a whole part of my life I can’t remember...it feels like everyone’s hiding this massive secret from me.”
Jimin stayed silent. “What are you thinking?”, I asked him. He was normally the talkative one out of the two of us.
“Many things. About how Hoseok has changed. He’s not the boy I became best friends with. About how many times I told you to break up with him, because he was starting to act unstable. About how I should have been there to pick you up the day you finally did end it.”
I stared at his side profile. It always did amaze me that despite his looks, Jimin was single. He had been so for quite some time, and I don’t think I ever asked him why.
I leant back in his passenger seat and closed my eyes. “Maybe...It’s just as well”, I replied. “Isn’t it better this way? I forget all the pain and remember the good things- like you?”
He chuckled and I smiled at the sound. “I’m serious Jimin, you’re the best thing that happened to me. And everything happens for a reason, right? So don’t think things like that.”
The rest of the journey was spent in an amiable silence, and I drifted off to the hum of the engine. “Y/n? Wake up, we're home.” The word ‘home’ sent a feeling of warmth through me. I clambered out and went round the back of his car, but he beat me to it and grabbed the bag. “It’s alright, I got this. You take it easy.”
I followed him to his door, silent gratitude radiating off me as I stepped inside. “Welcome to my humble abode”, he announced dramatically. It had been some time since I visited but it was exactly the same. I eyed the fast food boxes on the sofa and wryly commented “Beautiful”, earning a laugh.
Then I saw the photos on the mantle. One in particular caught my eye, wiping the smile off my face. It was Jimin, me and Hoseok, the latter kissing my cheek as I hugged the two boys. I remembered that night- it was an outing for my birthday.
Jimin’s voice came from the kitchen. “Y/n, do you want anything? Food, drink?”
“No thanks”, I called, unable to look away from the picture. There were a few more of just Jimin and Hoseok, and some of his other friends that I could vaguely recall. And then there was a group photo too, where Hoseok was hugging me from behind.
“That was a great few nights out”, Jimin spoke from behind me, startling me. “We were all so happy, got the pictures frames, so they’re always on display.”
“A night to remember, I whispered. It seemed that photos were a good way to trigger my memory. I heard Jimin move closer to me, his hand rubbing my back reassuringly.“It’s okay. It’ll all come back with time y/n.” I leaned into his touch and murmured “Thanks.”
His aroma surrounded the two of us- he smelled citrus-y - as I turned to hug him.
“Y/n...”, he sighed. his chest vibrating as he spoke. I looked up at him, my chin now resting on his chest. “Yeah?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.” I looked at how his rounded lips slightly curved downwards. He only made that face when something was upsetting him. He swallowed, adam’s apple bobbing up and down the expanse of his otherwise smooth neck.
“Tell me”, I pressed, dropping my head back down to nuzzle his chest. We stood there, both of us completely still, until I felt two hands on my hips. It was only a light touch, but it still made my breath hitch.
I slowly looked back p to find his considerably darker eyes already gazing at me. “Jimin”, I breathed. My hands found their way onto his shoulders as I blinked at him. Suddenly my closest friend was someone I hardly recognised. I hadn’t seen him in this light, but I couldn’t exactly say that was a bad thing.
“Every time he hurt you, it hurt me”, he murmured. “Whenever you two argued, you stayed here until you reconciled, and even then he’d text me to ask if anything had happened between us. His doubt always made me so angry, especially when you told me he’d cheated on you. I always wondered, ‘Why not me?’ I knew you longer, I treated you better...I definitely loved you more.”
I didn’t know what to say. He let go off me suddenly, ripping away all the warmth and comfort. “But I guess there was a reason you didn’t see it”, he muttered. “I’ll be upstairs. You know where everything is, make yourself at home.” And with that he left the room. I probably should have stopped him, gone after him, but at that moment, I was dumbfounded.
I stayed downstairs for the rest of the day, pondering over his words, before unzipping the suitcase to get out clothes to sleep in. Finally, as night fell, I trudged up the stairs, head heavy with the day’s thoughts. My phone stayed off- I didn’t want to interact with anyone right now.
Anyone except Jimin.
I heard a low murmur once I reached the landing, sand I realised he was on the phone. “...Right, and how often does she take those? Once a day for two weeks? OK. And what about the memantine? Ah right. Side effects aren’t severe?..”
He had rung up the hospital to ask about my medication. All I could think was that he was too good for me as I silently slipped into his spare room. A good guy that I had unknowingly hurt. Because I was too busy pining after Hoseok.
An hour passed. Then two. Then three. I sighed, flinging the covers off me and decided to go down for a glass of water. It was a warm night, and I hadn’t drank (or eaten) anything since I had got here.
Glass in hand, I was making my way back up, when the floor creaked under my weight. I instantly froze, hoping I hadn’t woke Jimin up, but after about 30 seconds of nothing but silence, I assumed I was in the clear. I’d gone up a couple more steps when his door swung open, the light from his room illuminating me.
“Y/n”, he breathed in relief, his voice showing no signs of fatigue or sleepiness. “I thought someone had broken in.”
I shook my head, holding up the glass. “No, sorry. Just me...couldn’t sleep.” I climbed up the rest of the steps and faced him. “Why couldn’t you sleep?”, he asked.
“I was thinking”, I replied quietly, staring at his casual stance at his doorway. His usually perfect hair was ruffled and he seemed...stressed. I took a couple more steps towards him, but when he shifted slightly I stopped. I opted to stare at the glass in my hand instead.
“What were you thinking about?” His voice was now matching mine, barely audible. The air seemed thick with tension and it seemed even hotter as we stood there, not knowing what to do.
I replied with the one word that had all his attention. “You.” He stood upright and thought for a minute, biting his lip in contemplation, before going back into his room, leaving the door open. I took that as a cue to follow him.
He stopped in the middle of the room, and I immediately noticed he had a fan to cool the room down. I sighed in relief as the cool air hit me, and placed the water down on his desk.
“What are you thinking about now?”, he asked, closing the gap between us. I sighed at the proximity before making-what I’d like to think was- a daring move. “Why don’t I show you?”, I whispered. To my surprise, he grinned. “Yeah...why don’t you?”
I didn’t need to be urged further as I leant in, pressing my lips against his. My hands found his nape quickly as I pulled him closer. It soon turned heated as we both forgot everything but each other- pardon the irony.
It was Jimin who pulled away. “Y/n, we shouldn’t. You’ve only just been discharged from hospital. Not to mention you’re vulnerable right now.” His words didn’t match his actions as he held me tighter. But I was way past rational thinking. I bucked my hips towards his and breathed “Please Jimin”, in his ear.
Jimin bit back a moan at the simple action. He grabbed my hand and backed up until his legs hit the bed and when he fell back, he dragged me down so I landed on his lap. “This isn’t good”, he panted. “You can’t even remember Hoseok, we can’t...”, he trailed off as my lips made contact with his neck.
“If you really don’t want this, I’ll go”, I spoke, fully serious. I didn’t want him to feel bad or have regrets afterwards. When he didn’t say anything, I loosened m hold on him and started to get off, but he pulled me back down once more. He shut his eyes tight and whispered, “Please stay.”
We spent that night together doing things that best friends shouldn’t do, yelling things that shouldn’t be yelled. Jimin left me exhausted from his blissful ministrations, and I was thankful for the fan in his room. The two of us lay there, chests rising and falling, staring at each other. Laying there before me, bare and completely fucked out, Jimin looked ...other-worldly.
The two of us drifted off to sleep like that, facing each other, anticipating what the morning would bring.
To my dismay, it bought silence. I padded downstairs after freshening up, to find him on the phone, pacing the kitchen. It didn’t take me long to figure out he was talking to Hoseok. “...No Hoseok, she made the right choice. Well if you’re lonely, why don’t you get that bimbo to move in?! ..Yes, she’s happy here and don’t you dare just turn up out of the blue or I won’t answer the door....”
I stepped back out and decided to sift through the rest of my belongings and sort everything out. Jimin walked in, muttered “Morning”, and walked straight back out.
This wasn’t how you treated someone you had feelings for, I was sure. It took me a while, but then it finally hit me. He had told me he loved me, but I don’t think at any point I had said it back. That must have been why he was so..off.
I followed him back into the kitchen. “Why did he call?”
“He wants you to go back. Says he’s gonna go mad.” I nodded slowly at his reply. “Says he's jealous that you’ve forgot everything but he still remembers. Says that...One day he hopes you realise how much you...love him.”
“I don’t love him Jimin. How can I? After everyth-”
“-Deep down you still do y/n. I saw the way you looked at him when the two of you were talking. You don’t know it, but you do.”
“I don’t love hi-”
“-You do, y/n-”
“I love you!”
Shocked silence on Jimin’s part. “You what?”
“I...love you, Jimin.” I repeated, enunciating each syllable. “I didn’t realise it before because I was with someone. But I do, believe me.”
He didn’t hesitate to give me a hug, the disbelief still apparent in his voice. “I love you too.”
O n e y e a r l a t e r...
“Do you think he’ll be alright?”, I asked nervously.
Jimin just glanced at me from across the table, holding my hand tighter, but just as nervous himself. “He’ll be fine y/n. It’s been one year since you left. He’s a changed man.”
Over the past year, I had manage to patch up a lot of my memory regarding Hoseok, and it left me conflicted. I had lost count of the number of nights I had spent crying in Jimin’s arms.
Jimin on the other hand was so patient with me. He even bought me my own mug with this quote. “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” It made me smile whenever I saw it.
I haven’t laid eyes on Hoseok for months. He came around once to spend time with Jimin, and for the majority of that visit I stayed upstairs. There was a moment in their friendship where things went downhill- when Jimin told him about dating me. That was a tough few weeks on Jimin. Having to console me, but having to work things out with Hoseok.
“What’s the girls name again?” He had just told me, but when I was jittery, I remembered nothing. “It’s Amber. Chill out, they’re coming over.”
Sure enough the two of them appeared, all smiles. My fake smile turned genuine once I saw how well Hoseok looked. He was glowing with contentment. I shook Amber’s hand and she sat next to Jimin while Hoseok took the seat next to me.
We spent our time talking and laughing as good friends. Amber was love;- the perfect girl for Hoseok.
I’d go into what happened that evening in greater detail but..do yo know what? Whether it was the shock of seeing Hosoek again, or whether it was me having one drink too many...I honestly can’t remember.
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