I decided to write down everything I feel as of right now. This has a trigger warning, so please read at your own risk.
I first want to start off as, this isn't a call for attention. It's my cry of help. No one listens to me anymore, I speak but no one responds. I only had very few people that listened to me, and now they're all gone. They've all told me goodbye and moved on with their lives. Even my best friend. I guess that's why I'm coming on here. Because I know some of you listen to what I have to say. And I'm here to say, that I don't know if I could keep moving forward. I'm stuck on the same damn tracks that I started on. I don't even find joy in the littlest things anymore. My sister, whom I thought would always be there, stabbed me in the back and in the front. She told me terrible things from, "I hate you," to "I don't want to become as messed up as you." She said many more things and even proceeded to tell me everything she hated about me. I've done wrong so many times, and I've given up way too many damn times. Tonight, I feel like I'm close to giving up again. I don't find joy in my everyday doings anymore. I can't even find comfort and it scares the hell out of me. It scares me because I've been through this a while back, and knowing that these emotions are coming back terrifies me. I don't want to live like this again. I can't even picture myself seeing some sort of light in this tunnel. I can't do this anymore. I don't have the strength to keep doing this. I don't want to end it this way either. I know I'll be okay, but right now I just want people to at least hear my cry of help. I just want to know if people notice or listen to what I have to say. Ah, I'm sorry again.
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