What better way to start off your week than with a new chapter? This one...will take you on a emotional rollercoaster...so prepare yourselves and don't die on me! I need you to be alive for the last few chapters! Enjoyy XD
Missed the other chapters or need a recap? I gotchu~
Chapter 16 - Everything
When I left Hyun-Ae, it took everything I had not to stay with her. I feel like if I would have stayed that it would have been harder to go through all of this than if I left.
I rubbed my arms, the cold hitting my sweater and making me shiver. Trying to shake off the cool breeze, I put my hands into my pockets and started to quicken my pace.
After making it inside the boy's dorm, I sighed, happy to have heating in the building. As I started to make the climb to my dorm room, the night kept on replaying in my head.
Should I have confessed to her? Was it the right thing to do?
I know she likes Jin but, even the slightest chance of her picking me over him is what I was hoping for. I am the closest to her out of all the guys and I think that made me feel more confident.
However, I know that I can - eventually - get rid of these feelings if she doesn't return what I feel for her. It will take time and it will be hard to see the two of them together, but her happiness comes first. It would be worse if she felt obligated to me and we started dating because of that.
Reaching the third floor, my legs started to ache at the insane amount of stairs before I reached my dorm.
Why couldn't I have liked a girl who wasn't being crushed on by half of my friends? Because that would make my life too easy?
I laughed at how ridiculous the situation was as I finished climbing the stairs. Breathing a little heavier than before, I dragged my feet down the hall to my room when I froze at the figure leaning up against the door.
Knowing what he was most likely going to confront me about, I walked towards him. As my footsteps got closer, his head turned in my direction and stared at me.
He got up off the wall and stood in front of the door.
"Are you going to let me in my room?"
"No. Not until you talk to me." He answered, looking determined. I exhaled slowly, preparing myself for what he was about to ask me next.
"Well what do you want to talk about?" I asked. He slowly inched closer to me, making me back up a little as the distance decreased between us. He scoffed at my question as if it was ridiculous.
"You know why I am here." He retorted. "You confessed to Hyun-Ae didn't you?" He finished. And there it was, the one question I knew would hurt him if I answered. He stared at me, not shifting his gaze as he waited for my answer.
"So what if I did Jin? I can't like someone?" I responded, feeling uncomfortable at how intimidating he was being. Jin backed up a little at my response and shook his head.
"I can't believe you," he whispered. "Why would you do this to me?" He spat.
"You know I like her too! And that I even confessed to her and yet...you thought that everything would be okay if you did too?" His voice was louder than before and I shifted, shocked at how he was acting.
"What do you want me to say Jin? I like her too! Am I just supposed to hide these feelings of mine all because you like her?" I was starting to get frustrated. How could he think something like that?
"I'm not saying that you shouldn't express how you feel, but when it is someone that one of your close friends like as well, don't you think that you should at least talk to them about it first!The last thing I thought, was that you, out of all people, would confess to her. Yoongi? I kind of guessed it from the beginning. But you... " He trailed off, looking off to the side as he laughed.
"I thought you would be the last one to do this to me." His voice got smaller as his head hung low. Guilt enveloped me, making me start to regret what I did. I started to step closer to him.
"Jin, I'm sorry," I started. "I should have talked to you about it first but...I wanted to tell her how I felt before she...let's just say that I confessed knowing fully well that I would be rejected because I am not the one she likes," I whispered. Jin brought his head up at that. I looked into his eyes to see that he was on the verge of tears.
"W-What do you mean," He stuttered. I sighed, exhausted from trying to state the obvious to him.
"I knew she wouldn't return my feelings because she likes you, Jin," I confessed. As his eyes widened, I gave him a tight smile as saying it aloud was harder than what I thought it would be.
"If you haven't seen the way she looks at you by now, then you are a fool Jin. She has been looking your way before you guys even spent that night in the countryside. It has always been you..." I trailed off, starting to tear up on my own, realizing that I never had a chance. Jin started to reach out to me but I brushed him off.
"I am going to go to bed. I will see you later okay? I just want to be alone for now..." I said. Jin nodded, letting me pass him so I could unlock my door. As I opened it, I gave him a smile before I closed it, trying to show that I was okay, when I obviously wasn't.
As soon as I closed it, I fell against the door. I could hear Jin's footsteps going down the hallway and after he was gone, the tears I had been holding in started to fall. To my luck, Jungkook wasn't back quite yet so I was alone.
I brought my hand up to my face as I cried, not caring if I was loud or being too emotional. I was heartbroken. The girl I liked, liked another man. There was no changing that.
I never had a chance. What was I thinking. It has always been him. It has always been Jin.
Letting myself go, it took awhile before I was able to calm down a bit. I got up from the door and went and snuck under the covers in my bed.
You aren't going to be like this tomorrow Taehyung. You won't see her tomorrow but if you do, you have to act normal for her sake. I have to let her know that it is okay for her to be happy with Jin. That everything can go back to normal despite what I told her only an hour ago. Everything will be okay Taehyung.
Everything will be okay.
Everything will be okay, Hyun-Ae.
You told Jin that there would be no more lies about anything so you have to tell him. Tell him everything.
I still felt distraught over what Taehyung said to me but despite the nervousness I felt last night, I knew that there was no possible way I could return his feelings.
As much as it pained me, I only saw him as a friend. I have to talk to him about it.
I decided that after talking to Jin today, that I needed to talk to him. I did not want to lose him as a friend.
Scared and nervous about what was going to happen today, I headed out the door and headed to my history class.
When I reached the door, I froze. You got this Hyun-Ae. You got this.
As I peeked in I saw Jin sitting in the back like he has the last couple of classes. I approached him, hugging my book tightly. He glanced up at me and gave me a small smile as I sat down next to him.
"M-Morning," I stuttered, my nerves getting the best of me.
"Morning," He whispered, seeming a little off. Is he okay?
Before I could ask anything class began, drawing my attention elsewhere. After class...you can do it.
You can do it.
"Jin!" I yelled after him, as he took off before me. It surprised me as he always waited for me after classes so chasing after him was not something I had planned to do. He stopped after hearing me and waited for me to catch up to him.
"Hyun-Ae?" He asked, as if curious as to why I was following him. "What's wrong?"
"Don't you...remember? I was going to tell you everything today." I explained as I tried to catch my breath.
"Oh...yeah...sorry my mind has been somewhere else this morning. Should we go sit somewhere?" He suggested. I nodded following him as he started to lead me somewhere.
After wondering for a bit, I realized that he was taking me near the lake, around the same area that Taehyung and I were last night. I quickly shook the thought from my head as I needed to focus on what I was going to do now.
He picked a bench along the pathway that faced the middle of the lake. I sat down beside him, maintaining a little distance as I was still embarrassed and completely nervous whenever I was around him. When neither one of us spoke up for a minute, I opened my mouth to start talking when I was stopped.
"Before you start," Jin said, shifting to his side so he could see me better. "I want to say something." Confused, I nodded, letting him talk first.
"I want to say that I'm sorry." I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "I am sorry about not trusting you last night and being all..."
"Possessive?" I finished for him. He looked up at me and immediately started to rub the back of his neck.
"Y-Yeah...it wasn't right of me to ask of you to not see Taehyung when he is clearly your friend and we aren't dating so I had no right to ask something like that of you. I mean I was right about him confessing to you, but I shouldn't have told you before hand." My eyes widened as he talked.
"You know he did confess?" He nodded.
"I saw Taehyung after you did and he told me. I did both you and him wrong. I got mad at him for confessing to you when I had no right to do that to him. I got mad at you for going with him. I am a horrible person..." He trailed off. Not knowing what to do, I decided to grab his hand and place them in mine. He was surprised at my motion and glanced up to see me smiling at him.
"You are not a horrible person Jin. Just someone who...needs to let things happen and trust those around them maybe." He laughed. "I can't imagine what it felt like when you knew what was going to happen last night and I felt really guilty afterwards. Yes, Taehyung did confess to me but I don't see him as anything other than a friend. It definitely took me off guard but I can't return his feelings because..." I turned towards him and looked at him in the eye. "There is someone else I like." I let go of his hands and started to twiddle my thumbs, feeling super nervous and embarrassed at what was about to happen.
"I told you that I would tell you everything today Jin. Why I haven't answered you back yet, why in my drunken stupor I kissed you and what I really want to say." I breathed in and out, before looking into his eyes one more, realizing how red I must look as I told him what I have wanted to say for the longest time.
"I like you Jin." If I didn't know any better, I would have said Jin turned red as well but he stayed quiet as he let me talk.
"I have actually been meaning to tell you for awhile now. I was going to confess at Jimin's birthday party but then...that ass turned up. And from then on, every time I felt like I should, the moment would slip away from me or I would do something stupid like kiss you. I am so sorry about that by the way." He laughed at me.
"I am a very shy and awkward person as you probably know by now when it comes to things like this so, when you confessed to me on the bus, I had no idea what to do. I think that I realized it back then that I liked you but it has taken me forever to say it aloud and to you." I started to tear up. "I am so sorry for making you wait and I feel horrible if I made you think I was leading you on... I'm really s-sorry..." Against my will, tears started to roll down my cheeks. I placed my face into my hands as I was embarrassed to be crying like this in front of him.
"Hyun-Ae," He whispered. He must have moved closer to me as I looked down as I could feel his breath on my face. I kept my face buried in my hands, hoping that it would hide me.
I started to calm down, feeling terrible for doing this in front of him and I sat back up. I started to wipe the tears from my face, embarrassed at how Jin was looking at me. I glanced back down as I sniffled and returned to twiddling my thumbs until he stopped me.
I looked up at him to see that he was crying as well.
"W-Why are you crying pabo?!" I laughed through my tears as I hit his shoulder, enacting a laugh from him as well.
"Because I am happy," He smiled at me. "You have no idea how happy you just made me Hyun-Ae." I leaned forward and hugged him, feeling better after hearing those words from him. He quickly returned my embrace and squeezed me tightly. He rested his head against mine as I placed my chin on his shoulder.
"Well I am glad that I could make you happy Jin. I know I am a handful but I hope that I won't get too overwhelming for you," I smiled into his shoulder as his chest vibrated with his laughter.
He suddenly pushed me back from him and placed both of his hands on the side of my face. He used both of his thumbs to wipe the tears from my face. I also brought up one of my hands to his face as well to do the same. After a minute, he stopped making me shift my gaze over to his eyes. I became embarrassed at how he looked at me and I tried to move my head down but his hands on the sides of my face wouldn't let me.
"Hyun-Ae," He whispered, making my heart flutter.
"Y-Yes," I replied, starting to get embarrassed at how close we were to each other.
"I really like you," I brought my eyes back up to his and laughed.
"I like you too."
Catching me off guard, he slowly started to lean towards me as he held my face in place. Nervous, I closed my eyes and waited for whatever to happen to happen when nothing did. I opened my eyes slowly to see that he was laughing at me. I immediately turned red.
"Yah!" I yelled. "You can't just do that-"
Cutting me off, he crashed his lips onto mine, making my eyes widen at his sudden movement. My eyelids started to flutter close as I started to return the kiss, melting into him.
After a minute he broke away from me, making me gasp. I opened my eyes to see him smiling at how embarrassed I was. He took a strand of hair from in front of my face and wrapped it behind my ear before he leaned in and pecked my lips once more.
I laughed at how ridiculous he was being as I moved closer to him and put my hand into his. I rested my head on his shoulder as we watched the sun set over the trees.
"So is that a yes?" He suddenly asked making me confused.
"A yes to what?"
"A yes to being my girlfriend." I got up and looked at him.
"You never even asked the question," I laughed.
"Didn't I?" He said, embarrassed.
"Nope! You just kissed me. That's about it," I explained, still laughing.
"Oh my god this is so cheesy. I am cringing." I said, interrupting him.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" He ignored my remark and continued. I sat there for a second and pondered.
"Hmm...I don't know..." I teased. "You were kind of mean last night..." He looked at me in disbelief.
"I told you I was sorry!" He explained. I burst out laughing at how serious he was.
"I am kidding! Of course I will be your girlfriend." I said, resting my head back on his shoulder. He sighed.
"You scared me there for a second..." He laughed as he wrapped his arm around me.
"Well I do have to keep you on your toes - makes it exciting," I teased.
"Who are you?" He asked, surprised at my answer. I laughed.
"What I can't be funny?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his side and pulling myself closer to him.
"Well not when you do something like that! That was mean!"
"Ah come on, you wouldn't have me any other way! If I wasn't at least a little mean I wouldn't be me, right?" He sighed in defeat.
"Of course I am. The girl is always right." I said, making him laugh.
"What did I get myself into..." He trailed off as I giggled.
We stayed on the bench for awhile as we hugged and watched the sunset, happy to be together and with only one more obstacle to overcome.
Telling the others.
OMO! IT FINALLY HAPPENED! SHE CONFESSED!
Are you still here with me? Because I need you to hang on!
I know it was super fluffy but what can I say...I am a pro at fluff LOL.
I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and there are only a few left so I am excited to see how this ends! XD
Love you all and thank you for reading, liking, and commenting as always! I wouldn't have the strength to write without all of your support! XOXO
Tagging the fictionists:
O – @otakukpoper
U – @UnicornSuga
W – @WolfLune
X – @Xoxojessica12