Kyokeo
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BRINGING LIGHT TO : Scarred

Hello! I have a big favor to ask you guys ^^ So if you remember, I posted chapter 1 of my new fan-fiction, Trust that I started! As you can tell, it's different now since I changed the title and cover. If you want to reference to my post to when I introduced it, it's right here!
Some of you actually went to Wattpad and gave it a read. I think some of you are even following on it right now which makes me so happy! I haven't posted anything on Vingle about it since, but I'm very far into it. Right now, I'm working on chapter 32. 32! I'm not even close to done but I'm possibly halfway ^^ So I'm going to show you guys chapter 1 again. You might ask why, but it's because I revised it because I was unsatisfied on how I wrote it. I did that for chapters 2-4 also :D
Basically the thing is, I want to get it out there again since I'm working hard on it and I'm definitely trying my best to improve my writing skills ^^ Right now it's at 4.7K reads and the total number of chapters as of the moment is 31 and I definitely think that the reads can increase. I just want my fan-fiction to get our there since it's at an insane amount of chapters since I last posted about it C:

Now let's get to the better version of chapter 1 that I posted a long time ago!

If any of you want to continue reading it, please download Wattpad or go on the website and find my username Kookie_Beanie on there! Also, please follow me for important announcements that I might make that I can't whilst posting a chapter. Scarred can be found on there! Thank you all my Vingle people who came all the way to Wattpad to continue reading it. It makes me so happy <3
The few beginning chapters do not include BTS yet so this is just Hara's ( main character's name ) backstory. As I said, if you'd like to continue reading, it's all on Wattpad! ^^

WARNING - The chapter does include mature scenes, specifically rape. If you're uncomfortable with that, please read as much as you can and when you're reaching to the point where you can't read anymore, please stop. I understand if you don't want to continue reading, but this only happens in chapter 1. In Wattpad, I will tell you if there's anything like it before you start reading C:

"So this is why the war..." My teacher's voice trailed off as I was zoned into my own blank world.
I was doodling out of boredom in my notebook as my teacher was talking about a history lesson.
After a few minutes, I put my pencil down and yawned as quietly as I could. It was dead quiet because no one in our class dared to interrupt our teacher. If they did, they would be automatically be sent outside of the class.
"This is the most boring class I've ever had in my nearly twelve years of being in school," my best friend Alyssa drawled to me as we made eye contact with each other.
We quickly stopped looking at each other as we noticed our teacher slowly turning her head.
She looked over with her usual, grumpy face and scanned the back area where Alyssa and I were sitting.
Since this was often, Alyssa and I would normally do what we do. We would always fix our posture and stare at the screen with stifled giggles.
Our teacher crunched up her nose and turned her head back to the screen and continued talking about the lesson.
Alyssa and I made sneaky eye contact and we both smiled at each other and continued being bored throughout the rest of the class.
I glanced at the clock, it was one minute away from escaping our classroom and transferring to our lunch period!
"Make sure to read page 394 to 402 in your textbook for your homework tonight," our teacher said bored as usual and dismissed us with a weak wave of her hand and many students jolted out the door.
I went to my locker and got my home lunch and walked happily over to Alyssa's locker. Lunch was my favorite time of the school day since many of my classes were torture.
"Do you really have to go? It'll be so lonely here without you," Alyssa said sadly and pouted as we were walking down the stairs to the lunchroom and I sighed heavily.
"Yeah... I really do need to go. This job will help improve me and my mom's life," I said and she hung her head down.
"Can we at least keep in contact? Will that be possible? With you moving to another continent and all..." She asked.
I live in California and me and my mom has to move all the way to Korea for her job.
I'm not surprised that this happened. She needed a better job and she's Korean herself so we can live well when we get to Korea, I know Korean myself since she taught me when I was a kid.
My father was American so I was born in California, but he died in a car accident a long time ago, a terrifying one.
"Of course. We'll find a way, I promise," I assured as we made our way into the lunchroom.
We walked to our usual spots and sat down. Then we began to eat our lunch we both brought from home like we always do. Today was my last day of being here.
While we were eating, Alyssa took my phone and checked my messages with Mason, my boyfriend who I've been dating for about two years.
"Aw, you guys are really cute. How come I can never find a boyfriend?" She said in envy and I took my phone away from her and laughed.
"Well that's because you throw away every guy who asked you out because they weren't attractive," I said and she nodded.
"That's true... Maybe I'll find Mr. Right one day," she said hopefully and I giggled.
In the distance, I could see Mason walking up to us.
Once he came, he went behind me and hugged me around my shoulders and kissed my head, then sat down to my left.
"How's my girl doing? Everything okay?" He asked charmingly as he took my hand and kissed the back of it and looked up to smile at me which I did the same back.
"You guys need to get a room and stop acting all lovey-dovey in public," Alyssa complained as she pretended to throw up in her mouth.
"Y'know, you should actually pay attention to those poor guys who mustered up the courage to ask you out," Mason called Alyssa out and we both laughed at her as she frowned.
Mason let go of my hand and then sat next to my left.
"Hara may or may not have told me stories of how you reject those poor dudes, you should've dated one of them," Mason said and Alyssa liked away stubbornly.
"Well it's not my fault, all of them haven't confessed their feelings to me in an amazing way. They're all boring," she said as she defended herself.
"Sure..." I said sarcastically and she looked at me and lightly punched my shoulder as we both laughed.
I rubbed her shoulder, "It's okay, you'll find your Mr. Right soon. That's what you said right? I'm rooting for you!"
"Thanks... Maybe I should've accepted one of those guys," she said as she looked at the ground and shook her shoulders.
"Oh well. You're right, I'll find him soon," she said. I smiled at her and she gave me a smile back.
"Looks like I'll have to leave you, Hara, I'll see you later okay?" Mason reassured as he looked over at his table and I nodded.
He bent over, kissed my cheek, and walked back to his table while giving me a thumbs up with a silly smile.
Time passed and school was over for the last time of me being in California. I felt scared to be knowing that I probably won't come back to America for a while, or forever.
I got everything from my locker in my backpack and headed to Mason's locker.
I found Alyssa standing there but Mason was nowhere to be found.
"Where's Mason? We're supposed to walk together..." I said confused as I looked all around me but only saw the emptiness of the hallways.
"I don't know... I saw him standing here but he abruptly left without a word. Do you think he's mad?" She asked worriedly and I held my head.
"I'm not sure. He never missed walking with us. I guess we'll just have to walk without him," I said sadly as we started heading home.
"I actually have to take the bus home so this is goodbye... I wish I could see you one more time," Alyssa said when we arrived outside and her eyes got teary as we gave each other a long, and warm hug.
We said our goodbyes and I walked by myself, tears running down my face as I was heading home.
I passed by the beautiful and memorable park where Mason asked me to be his girlfriend two years ago. I stopped to look at it one last time and smiled sadly, not wanting to leave California.
After reminiscing happy and loving memories, I finally arrived home and got into my house with my house keys.
"I'm home mother!" I yelled throughout our small house and then realized she was busy getting things settled with her new job.
I dropped my backpack near the couch. I then went into my bedroom, plopped on my bed, and checked my phone to see if Mason sent me any texts yet.
"No messages... What's going on with...?" I got cut off as I saw a message he sent me a couple minutes ago.
"Come here, I'm so drunk right now... I need company..." It said. What? Why is Mason drinking?
"Don't go anywhere. I'm coming right away," I sent and swiftly got off my bed and changed into casual clothes, got my house keys, and quickly went out of the door.
It took me about ten minutes to walk to his house since it wasn't far away. Once I arrived, I took the copy of his house keys that he hid somewhere around the front entrance of his house and hastily opened the door and went in. He didn't mind me visiting if I wanted to see him since he lived alone.
When I ventured further passed the small hallway after the front door, I saw many bottles of alcohol on the floors, on the couch, and on the counters of his kitchen.

* WARNING - Explicit content coming up, be warned. If you don't want to read it I suggest going to the next chapter. Please know that this is for Hara's backstory and it's not put lightly. :) *

When I turned around a corner, I noticed that Mason's bedroom door was open widely. The next second, he came out of it, shirtless and beyond intoxicated.
"Mason? You're underage, why are you doing this? What happened?" I asked worriedly as I examined him when he walked closer to me.
He threw up his hands happily while holding a bottle of alcohol in each hand, "Hara, babe! It's so good to know that you actually came to help me," he said drunkenly and tripped over onto me which I slightly pushed him back, he smelled awful!
I tippy-toed up to his hands and roughly took his bottles of alcohol and put it on a nearby counter, "What in the world do you think you're doing? You're never like this," I asked concerned as I crossed my arms and he looked at me weirdly.
"It's because... You're moving... Away from me forever, to Korea. I don't want this to happen, Hara," he said sadly as he hung his head.
"You said that you wouldn't leave me!" He yelled loudly as his sadness quickly went to anger which startled me, causing me to step back.
"I was planning to tell you soon, but I didn't want to upset you," I said as I tried to stay calm but Mason was starting to act scary.
He took a step towards me, "Why didn't you tell me then! None of this would've happened if you told me the truth," he said, sounding soberer, I couldn't tell if he was still overly drunk.
He got really close to me to the point where I was backed up against the wall and his nose was inches away from mine. I could smell his breath as he reeked of alcohol, he panted heavily while staring at me.
My legs were shaking but I tried to keep my ground and I turned my eyes to the floor, "I was going to tell you tomorrow, on my last day of being here. But it's because I don't want to leave you either!"
"I wanted to tell you tomorrow because I didn't want to see you depressed for another day," I said sadly as I felt my eyes tearing up.
"You're selfish, you know that? You don't actually love me. You're throwing me away because you want to disappear away from me," He said as he forcefully lifted up my chin to make eye contact and his other hand was put against the wall.
His fierce and deadly eyes pierced right through mine as my eyes widened at his words.
"No, of course not... It's very hard for me to--" I said shakily as I was cut off with his next words.
"For your betrayal of not telling me, maybe you need to... Pay me back? Since I'll never see you again... There's something fun we can do," he said, his voice husky and low as he tilted his head down, looking more intimidating than ever.
He smirked at me then mercilessly trapped me against the wall, making me unable to move at all.
"W-what do you mean? I never betrayed you... I have to move there with my mom, Mason... We have to do this," I tried to reason as my voice started to sound very shaky.
Before I knew it, Mason put his hands on my waist and attempted to forcefully put his tongue in my mouth.
I immediately brought my hands up and tried to push him away but his weight on mine was too strong for me to handle. In a few minutes, his mouth and tongue were roughly releasing its anger on mine.
I squirmed in agony, wanting to escape. I jumped and yelped when I felt Mason's cold hand run through my shirt, ripping my bra clasp open.
When he took his tongue out of my mouth, I finally got a breath and I tried to tell him, "M-Mason, what're you doing?! Stop--" Mason he ignored me and threw me over his shoulder and carried me to his bedroom.
"Let me go! You have no right to--" I shouted but he harshly threw me onto the bed and in a second, he got on top of me.
He glared at me, his eyes full of lust and he licked his lips seductively.
Before I could push him away, he immediately put his weight down on me and pinned my hands above my head and started to kiss me very roughly. I felt him biting my lips and forcing entry with his tongue into my mouth again.
My mouth started to get very sore quickly with his continuous forced kisses as my eyes started to get watery.
I never, ever thought that Mason would do this to me... Never in the time of our relationship.
"S-stop this. Please, I can't," I murmur to him as I kept wiggling in his hold. He didn't listen and proceeded to move down on my neck and sucked on it harshly.
After that, he moved down to unbutton my shorts. When he did that, it gave me the chance to push him away and escape. As swiftly as I could, I almost made it to the exit.
I heard his footsteps as he came after me. It turns out he was too fast and ended grabbing my elbow from behind and roughly turned me around to face him.
The next thing I knew, I heard a slapping sound and realized that I was on the floor to discover that Mason has hit me for the first time...
"You bitch! Why are you trying to escape from me! I thought we were something!" He shouted angrily at me as I heard his heavy breaths.
I slowly touched my cheek with my fingertips weakly and tears were starting to run down my face. My cheek started to heat up and it began to feel sore.
Mason grabbed my hair and pulled me up, pushing my back into the front door and once again, put his wet lips on mine, harshly trying to find an entrance.
Me energy was going down quickly and I turned very weak. My legs started to give away but Mason held my body up by holding my waist.
He backed away from me, his arms still around me. I tried to weakly grab his arm and push it away but it didn't budge.
"Don't do this anymore, please..." I begged as my voice was dry and distraught. He only smirked at me and licked his lips again.
"Sorry babe, but before you leave, I have to give you a surprise... A pleasant one," he said.
Before I processed what he meant into my mind, he took my head and slammed it into the wall enough to make me fall onto the ground and knock out.
Then everything faded to black, nothing was visible. I don't know what else is going to happen, or what he's going to do to me. I'm not so sure if I'll even be alive by the time I wake up.

But all I thought about before I lost consciousness was, "Why are you hurting me, Mason?"

AGH. Sorry if that was too dramatic or something. I wanted to write it so that you guys were introduced right away to Hara's experience with Mason ^^ It's way easier to read on Wattpad since I italicize Hara's thoughts. This is kind of a shameless promotion on wanting you guys to go check out my story on Wattpad, but I completely understand if you don't xD I won't force you guys too. I'm just bringing light back to my current progress on Scarred.

I hope many of you guys enjoyed it, and if you want to continue, it's ALL ON WATTPAD :3 I'm posting this late so hopefully many of you see it before you go to bed or something. To those who do decide to continue reading, thank you so much! You don't know how much it means to me and I love you guys for that. I respond to all comments so don't be afraid to comment whether it be funny or a small grammatical error that I made ^^ Bye guys, and now I'm going to work on chapter 32!

Tagging EVERYYYYONE. Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged ♥
Thank you to @PrincessUnicorn in advance for helping!!!
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reading on wattpad! and loving it so much!!
@Kyokeo like for real I get super excited when the notifications pop up I love itz
AAAAAHHH! Thank you! Unfortunately a chapter won't be posted tonight since I have to wake up early for a school orientation tomorrow ^^
@Kyokeo that's okay I get it u need sleep! I can wait! kind of... 😉
I follow on wattpad *hides away shyly* I really like it 😄😄
I noticed!! Thanks so much for continuing to read and support ^ooo^ ❤️
your welcome!! thank you for putting out amazing chapters!
Is it only on watt pad or are you posting it here also cuz I don't have wattpad
All of it is on Wattpad ^^ I'm not posting it here because it's more efficient and easier to post there :D
It's ok I couldn't wait so I downloaded that app to continue reading lol
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A New Suga Fanfic coming soon..
would anyone be Interested in a reader/yoongi fanfic? It is going to based of an old country song that I adore... Strawberry Wine by Deanna Carter... The story is an AU fic but a coming of age story. You spend the summers at your grandparents farm with your best friend Taehyung. You aren't a stranger to the college boys that your grandpa hires in the summer to help out with the harvesting and the running of his farm. You grandpa has animals, and produce on his farm but you and Taehyung usually spend it in the Strawberry fields. Your grandpa also makes wine from the strawberries. What you didn't expect was two college boys helping with the strawberries and the wine making. The college kids your grandfather usually hires help with the animals and other functions on the farm. You spend your summer falling in love and not hoping for heartache come September? You naively fall hard but as you get older it becomes a fleeting thought across your mind... If interested in the story comment below. I'm looking forward to writing a story of summer love and first love... but also a story about growing up Suga's Genius' @VeronicaArtino @SugaKookieV @SweetDuella @jeonraeyoo Suga's starchildren @MelissaGarza @Starbell808 if you would like to be added to the official Suga cmty taglist comment below. Taglist is only for the Suga council and will be used on the content we create for the community... My vingle fam @WinKonVIP @luna1171 @LiyahBoon @BTSMicDrop @twistedPDnim @YulaGyeom @MelissaGarza @jjrockstar @yehetmyohorat97 @CrookedShadow @ESwee @Lexxcisco @awkwardjazzy @sukkyongwanser @QueenLeLe @QueenPandaBunny @SweetDuella @BabydollBre @SugaKookieV @InfiniteKiss @QueenyCrossGene @Halsyeon RMs Fearless Leaders @VeronicaArtino @BTSMicDrop @WinKonVIP @MelissaGarza @Just2BLoved @SugaKookieV @DefSoul1994 Taehyung's Purplers @VeronicaArtino @SugaKookieV @SweetDuella @jiminsnooder Suga's Genius @VeronicaArtino @SugaKookieV JIMIN Squad @BTSMicDrop @Queenpandabunny @Just2BLoved @jiminsnooder @SugaKookieV @VeronicaArtino Golden Maknae Crew @SugaKookieV @LiyahBoon @MelissaGarza @Yugykookie97 @DefSoul1994 @VeronicaArtino Sunshine Hope @SugaKookieV @SweetDuella @VeronicaArtino Winner Council @WinKonVIP @MelissaGarza @Just2BLoved @VeronicaArtino Fantastic Losers @WinKonVIP @MelissaGarza @Just2BLoved @Starbell808 @VeronicaArtino BTS @DeyaniraEstrada @lilbr0wneyes @KokoroNoTakara  @cbellea @Helixx @sarahdarwish @Hurdkpop @biancadanica98 @xMangaLover @KellyOriane @wordlesseyes @jojojordy2324 @TleahEdwards @MissyKim @EmilyPeacock @Journ505 @ShadowAngel87 @Kyokeo @GenesisZiporrah @FelicianaRomero @ScarletMermaid @SeoInHan @IMNII @jcl4rks0n @heidichiesa @humairaa @torchix @sarahpjane @SugaKookieV @Bangtanss @ReynadeKpop @PrincessUnicorn @SimplyAwkward  @OneOfAKind @MadAndrea @musicmofo @nicolejb @jcl4rks0n @ashleyemmert @Katherina2078 @unnieArmkeY @AlloBaber  @EvilGenius @Dabaesaplayer @CloverShadows @Mandubum @PassTheSuga @SugalessJams @danidee @ButterflyBlu @B1A4BTS5ever  @btsgotshinee @EasternShell @ShadowAngel87 @EmilyPeacock @Journ505 @MissyKim @TleahEdwards @jojojordy2324 @KellyOriane @xMangaLover @Hurdkpop @peahyr @biancadanica98 @sarahdarwish @cbellea @johnevans @terenailyn @gabbycalzada @taetaebaozi @lilbr0wneyes @xxMollxx @Xionheart @Defy24601 @TanyaGautam @ZionPerezFlower @NickySerban @KwonOfAKind @krin @Emealia @FelicianaRomero @DestinaByrd @ScarletMermaid @ashleyemmert  @Katherina2078 @TaehyungV @Starbell808 @SweetDuella @MelissaGarza @Lexxcisco @resavalencia@sukkyongwanser @KarenGuerra93
J-Hope Lyric Thursday!!💜🎵🎶
Hello ARMY!!🤗Today is lyric Thursday here in the BTS community! I will be sharing with you all my favorite lyrics! 💜 ❤️ 💜 “Boy In Luv” https://youtu.be/m8MfJg68oCs “If it’s with you, I think I can go to a good college ABCDEFGH Hakuna Matata Your profile picture is the same but why do I keep checking it? But don’t misunderstand, I’m not an easy guy” https://youtu.be/SLXPqtcqBSc https://youtu.be/_N1_OpmBdEo https://youtu.be/jlobNtFgNbw 3D Audio *credit to the owner’s of the gif & video’s* ❤BANGTAN ARMY TEAM❤: @Yugykookie97 @Mochiroon @QueenPandaBunny @MelissaGarza @HUMANWIZARD @agustdsaveme @chimchimsjams @kaylenne956 @kpopfan88 @Aliza1 @Kyla05 ❤ARMY TAGLIST❤: @amandamuska  @blessowmwago @BoyGroupKpop @Bxbybri @CleafeMaeObina @coolwolf13 @dalenalw @echoxsoul  @gabstar143  @Gracebug @HannahC19 @herreraletecia  @HomegirlG  @ifitnessvn @Ilovephases @izzybell1202 @jennyfer1111r1 @jiminiebae @jkenshayla @jungkookieeeee @Just2BLoved @kaylawalker929  @kaylenne956 @krissynormam @kpopfan88 @Kyla05 @MelissaGarza @Mochiroon @Nyxxonn @PANDABTS @QueenPandaBunny @rebeccariley52 @rodrickagardne @Rose2demhaters @samcorsam @simpsonsamantha @Shelbeigh19 @shellyfuentes70 @soobak @Starbell808 @szewwy @Taekookimonster  @Tiffiedannie @wolfyplayzyv @yukigintokie    *let me know if you want to be apart of the ARMY taglist* K-Monsta Squad: @Yugykookie97 @BBxGD @lilbr0wneyes @DefSoul1994 @KpopGaby @MYAlpha @BangtanGirlOT12 Tag List: @cagonzales9696 @MonieManhiM @cherriblossom17 @SimplyAwkward @Btsislife @jaselgalindo @emealia @saraortiz2002 @xsandos17 @VictoriaBossier @TaehyungKey @Sarahdarwish @kpopandkimchi @Emealia @terenailyn @MonAnnahiX @4dalientae @PrettieeEmm @kyokeo @KwonOfAkind @AnimeKpopLover @SugaOnTop  @QueenyCrossGene @MadAndrea @B1A4BTS5ever @zyxzj @Taehyungie @VKookie47 @NuXX @Baekyeol27 @DOislifeExoL @kpopbeat @BulletproofV @PrincessUnicorn @luna1171 @LisetteZapata @herreravanessa9 @MadAndrea @AnimeKpopFreak @amandamuska @RandomName @aliendestina @mrsyookihyun @MaelstromVIP @Foxxyjinxx @Bangtanss @YessicaCardenas @JadeOwens @cns1391 @JJiBin @TheEnlightment @BlueMoon201 @QueenPandaBunny @emberreynemoll @LacyTanner @nyxxonn @SweetDuella @MmIlk @KihyunA @ARMY4Life @SerenaArthurs @Additional18 @jessicaclove  @olive07354  @YungStatin  @nickij @Mochiroon @LiyahBoon @BoyGroupKpop @blessowmwago @Lesha @jkenshayla @Kpoplover2016 *Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged from the tag list*
BTS WON 10 AWARDS AT MAMA & BTS PERFORMANCE!!!🎉🙌🏻🏆
Hello ARMY!!🤗 Our boy’s did it again!! They won 8 AWARDS at MAMA music awards!!🏆🙌🏻 💜 ❤️ 💜 THEY WON ALL 4 DAESANGS!!! BTS ARE THE FIRST ARTISTS YET ONCE AGAIN TO WIN ALL DAESANGS!!🏆🎉 Congratulations BTS!!💕 I am beyond proud of them!!💜 https://youtu.be/x_hIpS6Xmew J-Hope & Jimin’s speech when they won album of the year! *All credits to SPOTLIGHTBTS on twitter for translating their speeches* https://youtu.be/1y0rNIcyoFw Namjoon did his speech all in English! I love this man! E always thinks about us international ARMYs and said his speech in English!💜😭 https://youtu.be/Oc2lvgSqJGk Jin’s speech when they won Song Of The Year⤵️ *All credits to SPOTLIGHTBTS on twitter for translating their speeches* https://youtu.be/LEjTLrsAl0s Suga & RMs speech when BTS won Artist Of The Year award!⤵️ *All credits to SPOTLIGHTBTS on twitter for translating their speeches* https://youtu.be/gdrO-iU3Glg BTS INTRO, N.O, & We Are Bulletproof pt.2 performance!! https://youtu.be/BQtFy7NimRw Boy With Luv & Mikrokosmos performance! https://youtu.be/lFMXk0L4kG8 BTS INTRO & Dionysus performance!!! They killed it like always!!🔥🔥The boy’s put on an amazing performance!!🙌🏻💜 *credit to the owner’s of the video’s and pics* ❤BANGTAN ARMY TEAM❤: @Yugykookie97 @Mochiroon @QueenPandaBunny @MelissaGarza @HUMANWIZARD @agustdsaveme @chimchimsjams @kaylenne956 @kpopfan88 @Aliza1 @Kyla05 ❤ARMY TAGLIST❤: @amandamuska  @blessowmwago @BoyGroupKpop @Bxbybri @CleafeMaeObina @coolwolf13 @dalenalw @echoxsoul  @gabstar143  @Gracebug @HannahC19 @herreraletecia  @HomegirlG  @ifitnessvn @Ilovephases @izzybell1202 @jennyfer1111r1 @jiminiebae @jkenshayla @jungkookieeeee @Just2BLoved @kaylawalker929  @kaylenne956 @krissynormam @kpopfan88 @Kyla05 @MelissaGarza @Mochiroon @Nyxxonn @PANDABTS @QueenPandaBunny @rebeccariley52 @rodrickagardne @Rose2demhaters @samcorsam @simpsonsamantha @Shelbeigh19 @shellyfuentes70 @soobak @Starbell808 @szewwy @Taekookimonster  @Tiffiedannie @wolfyplayzyv @yukigintokie    *let me know if you want to be apart of the ARMY taglist* K-Monsta Squad: @Yugykookie97 @BBxGD @lilbr0wneyes @DefSoul1994 @KpopGaby @MYAlpha @BangtanGirlOT12 Tag List: @cagonzales9696 @MonieManhiM @cherriblossom17 @SimplyAwkward @Btsislife @jaselgalindo @emealia @saraortiz2002 @xsandos17 @VictoriaBossier @TaehyungKey @Sarahdarwish @kpopandkimchi @Emealia @terenailyn @MonAnnahiX @4dalientae @PrettieeEmm @kyokeo @KwonOfAkind @AnimeKpopLover @SugaOnTop  @QueenyCrossGene @MadAndrea @B1A4BTS5ever @zyxzj @Taehyungie @VKookie47 @NuXX @Baekyeol27 @DOislifeExoL @kpopbeat @BulletproofV @PrincessUnicorn @luna1171 @LisetteZapata @herreravanessa9 @MadAndrea @AnimeKpopFreak @amandamuska @RandomName @aliendestina @mrsyookihyun @MaelstromVIP @Foxxyjinxx @Bangtanss @YessicaCardenas @JadeOwens @cns1391 @JJiBin @TheEnlightment @BlueMoon201 @QueenPandaBunny @emberreynemoll @LacyTanner @nyxxonn @SweetDuella @MmIlk @KihyunA @ARMY4Life @SerenaArthurs @Additional18 @jessicaclove  @olive07354  @YungStatin  @nickij @Mochiroon @LiyahBoon @BoyGroupKpop @blessowmwago @Lesha @jkenshayla @Kpoplover2016 *Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged from the tag list*
Jin’s Birthday Event D2 - 4!!🎉🎂🥳
Hello ARMY!!🤗 I’m sorry I haven’t posted for Jin’s Birthday event!! So I will be putting D2-4 on this card!! I hope you all will participate and help us celebrate his birthday!! Today is actually his birthday I’m Korea!!!🙌🏻 Happy Birthday Jin!!!🥳🎂 💜 ❤️ 💜 12/01 - Photo edit with Poem! I made an edit! But I didn’t come up with a poem! I used lyrics from Jin’s song awake! Sorry the edit kind of came out crappy! I’ve never made photo edits before! I’ve only done mood boards! 💜 ❤️ 💜 12/02- Fave Mom Moment I have a lot of favorite mom moments of Jin! So enjoy this video of Jin’s mom moments!💕 https://youtu.be/Jjl1DcJXbdU I love how he takes care of all the members!💜 💜 ❤️ 💜 12/03 - Birthday Mood boards HAPPY BIRTHDAY WORLDWIDE HANDSOME!!🥳🎂 Thank you being such an amazing person! Thank you for all your dad jokes! Thank you for always looking after BTS!💜 WE LOVE YOU KIM SEOKJIN!! I HOPE YOU HAD A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY TODAY!!🎉 *credit to the owner of video* ❤BANGTAN ARMY TEAM❤: @Yugykookie97 @Mochiroon @QueenPandaBunny @MelissaGarza @HUMANWIZARD @agustdsaveme @chimchimsjams @kaylenne956 @kpopfan88 @Aliza1 @Kyla05 ❤ARMY TAGLIST❤: @amandamuska  @blessowmwago @BoyGroupKpop @Bxbybri @CleafeMaeObina @coolwolf13 @dalenalw @echoxsoul  @gabstar143  @Gracebug @HannahC19 @herreraletecia  @HomegirlG  @ifitnessvn @Ilovephases @izzybell1202 @jennyfer1111r1 @jiminiebae @jkenshayla @jungkookieeeee @Just2BLoved @kaylawalker929  @kaylenne956 @krissynormam @kpopfan88 @Kyla05 @MelissaGarza @Mochiroon @Nyxxonn @PANDABTS @QueenPandaBunny @rebeccariley52 @rodrickagardne @Rose2demhaters @samcorsam @simpsonsamantha @Shelbeigh19 @shellyfuentes70 @soobak @Starbell808 @szewwy @Taekookimonster  @Tiffiedannie @wolfyplayzyv @yukigintokie    *let me know if you want to be apart of the ARMY taglist* K-Monsta Squad: @Yugykookie97 @BBxGD @lilbr0wneyes @DefSoul1994 @KpopGaby @MYAlpha @BangtanGirlOT12 Tag List: @cagonzales9696 @MonieManhiM @cherriblossom17 @SimplyAwkward @Btsislife @jaselgalindo @emealia @saraortiz2002 @xsandos17 @VictoriaBossier @TaehyungKey @Sarahdarwish @kpopandkimchi @Emealia @terenailyn @MonAnnahiX @4dalientae @PrettieeEmm @kyokeo @KwonOfAkind @AnimeKpopLover @SugaOnTop  @QueenyCrossGene @MadAndrea @B1A4BTS5ever @zyxzj @Taehyungie @VKookie47 @NuXX @Baekyeol27 @DOislifeExoL @kpopbeat @BulletproofV @PrincessUnicorn @luna1171 @LisetteZapata @herreravanessa9 @MadAndrea @AnimeKpopFreak @amandamuska @RandomName @aliendestina @mrsyookihyun @MaelstromVIP @Foxxyjinxx @Bangtanss @YessicaCardenas @JadeOwens @cns1391 @JJiBin @TheEnlightment @BlueMoon201 @QueenPandaBunny @emberreynemoll @LacyTanner @nyxxonn @SweetDuella @MmIlk @KihyunA @ARMY4Life @SerenaArthurs @Additional18 @jessicaclove  @olive07354  @YungStatin  @nickij @Mochiroon @LiyahBoon @BoyGroupKpop @blessowmwago @Lesha @jkenshayla @Kpoplover2016 *Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged from the tag list*
J-Hope Fave Video Wednesday!!🙌🏻💜📸
Hello ARMY!!🤗 I’m almost done catching up with the cards I missed!! Yay!! Anyways yesterday was Fave video Wednesday! Here is one of my favorite videos of Hobi!!😊 💜 ❤️ 💜 Enjoy this compilation of J-Hope dancing! https://youtu.be/vB7AmA1uFWo I’ve probably watched this video over 100 times now! I seriously love watching him dance! He is such an amazing dancer! *credit to the owner of the gif & video* ❤BANGTAN ARMY TEAM❤: @Yugykookie97 @Mochiroon @QueenPandaBunny @MelissaGarza @HUMANWIZARD @agustdsaveme @chimchimsjams @kaylenne956 @kpopfan88 @Aliza1 @Kyla05 ❤ARMY TAGLIST❤: @amandamuska  @blessowmwago @BoyGroupKpop @Bxbybri @CleafeMaeObina @coolwolf13 @dalenalw @echoxsoul  @gabstar143  @Gracebug @HannahC19 @herreraletecia  @HomegirlG  @ifitnessvn @Ilovephases @izzybell1202 @jennyfer1111r1 @jiminiebae @jkenshayla @jungkookieeeee @Just2BLoved @kaylawalker929  @kaylenne956 @krissynormam @kpopfan88 @Kyla05 @MelissaGarza @Mochiroon @Nyxxonn @PANDABTS @QueenPandaBunny @rebeccariley52 @rodrickagardne @Rose2demhaters @samcorsam @simpsonsamantha @Shelbeigh19 @shellyfuentes70 @soobak @Starbell808 @szewwy @Taekookimonster  @Tiffiedannie @wolfyplayzyv @yukigintokie    *let me know if you want to be apart of the ARMY taglist* K-Monsta Squad: @Yugykookie97 @BBxGD @lilbr0wneyes @DefSoul1994 @KpopGaby @MYAlpha @BangtanGirlOT12 Tag List: @cagonzales9696 @MonieManhiM @cherriblossom17 @SimplyAwkward @Btsislife @jaselgalindo @emealia @saraortiz2002 @xsandos17 @VictoriaBossier @TaehyungKey @Sarahdarwish @kpopandkimchi @Emealia @terenailyn @MonAnnahiX @4dalientae @PrettieeEmm @kyokeo @KwonOfAkind @AnimeKpopLover @SugaOnTop  @QueenyCrossGene @MadAndrea @B1A4BTS5ever @zyxzj @Taehyungie @VKookie47 @NuXX @Baekyeol27 @DOislifeExoL @kpopbeat @BulletproofV @PrincessUnicorn @luna1171 @LisetteZapata @herreravanessa9 @MadAndrea @AnimeKpopFreak @amandamuska @RandomName @aliendestina @mrsyookihyun @MaelstromVIP @Foxxyjinxx @Bangtanss @YessicaCardenas @JadeOwens @cns1391 @JJiBin @TheEnlightment @BlueMoon201 @QueenPandaBunny @emberreynemoll @LacyTanner @nyxxonn @SweetDuella @MmIlk @KihyunA @ARMY4Life @SerenaArthurs @Additional18 @jessicaclove  @olive07354  @YungStatin  @nickij @Mochiroon @LiyahBoon @BoyGroupKpop @blessowmwago @Lesha @jkenshayla @Kpoplover2016 *Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged from the tag list*
BTS Family Business +19 Part 1
Yass lawrd!!! Fam I am back with a spicy fanfiction I have been working on. I'm still trying to balance work and my hobbies all at the same time. Life is wonderful and I can't complain. I finally feel complete. I have wonder children and four wonder husband's who are sexy ASF. We are wealthy powerful and healthy. How did I get four husbands? Let me explain. I was adopted by the Cheif of all Yong/Dragon clans. In our world within the human world we have our own laws and ways of life. A female is allowed to have multiple mates or husbands. As long as everyone is married at the same time. After the marriage you cannot add on any mates. Also once mated that male can only have children by that female. If caught cheating anyone can lose their power and status. Our clan has been in power since the dawn of time. We control many things like Kpop, fashion, media... anything we want. We also provide small loans and protection to small businesses. We also are known for our part in killing ppl if they cross us wrong. Anyways they call me Jasmine Kim. I'm married to Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoesek, and Jimin. Altogether we have eight children. Hunter, Ji-Yong, King, Namjin, Stormi, Ava, Princeton, and Taleah. We live in a huge home and we have a luxury condo for time alone. As for me I do have my own room, but unless I'm mad at my huabands all at the same time I sleep in whoever room whenever. Tonight was my night alone with Hobi at our luxury condo. I knew I had tons of stuff to do at the office and I knew the kids would never let me get out the door. I was wise and packed me some lingerie and my heels with me. After work I fixed my hair, reapplied my Fenty glassbomb, and slipped into my sexy lingerie. I threw in my black trench coat and headed deep in the woods to our condo. As I looked down at the clock I was already 20 minutes late. He was gonna be pissed and pacing all over the place. I was going over ways I would get his mind off me being late. As I unlocked the door. I quickly walked into the kitchen. Hobi was there with a pissed off expression. "Ah how can you hold a powerful position in our clan if you can't even be on time to see your husband? Over 20 minutes late babe?! I'm going have to request for you to step down." I walked slowly over to him and made him face me. Even though I had on heels he still was taller than me. I wrapped my arms around his waist. "I'm such a bad wife. You are right baby. Shame on me. Do you still want to see why I was so late?" I said with pouting lips. Hobi smirked and untied my trench coat allowing it to hit the ground. He stepped back to admire my curves in the lingerie hugging me. Hobi sucked on his teeth and lips. "Shit baby..." He ran his hands through his hair. "Can you forgive me baby? I will do anything my husband commands." I said while batting my eyes. "Yeah I know what you can do to be forgiven." Hobi said while putting me over his shoulders. He places me on the bed and we kiss deeply. His lips so soft felt so good. I could feel my core aching. Hobi plays with my nipples as he explores my mouth. Sucking on my lip ring and gliding across my tongue rings. "Gosh baby you taste so good. I know where you would taste even better." Hobi pushes me back while kissing down to my core. He runs his nose from bottom to top of my core. He licks his lips has he tugs away my panties. Hobi spanks my core then he begins kissing all over my inner thighs. I groan in pleasure. He inserts two fingers stretching me wide and slowly pushes in and out. I was already dripping. Suddenly he begins sucking on my nub while fingering me. I gasp as he picks up speed and goes deeper. I grab his head and scream. I could feel myself about to burst. Hobi laughs and stops. "Oh you think I'm gonna let you cum when you can't come on time." He stands up and he gives me that look. " You know the routine." I crawl over to the edge of the bed and unbuckle his pants. His tip was wet. I guess tasting me makes him so hot. I placed my hand at his base while playing with his tip. He moaned louder as my tongue ring slide across his head. I wrapped my lips around his tip. Making sucking noises and running my hand up and down. Hobi groans loudly and hisses. He grabs my head softly and pushes more of himself hitting the back of my throat. I gag and proceed to move my mouth up and down his length making loud slurping nosies. "Ah...baby stop...slow down... shit..." Hobi moaned while pulling out my mouth. He quickly turned me around bend me over. He slapped my left cheek. I groaned. He slapped my right cheek. "You think you call the shots?! You should know better by now." Hobi moaned. Hobi pushed his entire length in me from behind. I scream in pleasure and pain. He begins pounding me without mercy. The bed shook and our skin made a loud slapping noise. He pulled me up my by arms still pounding me. We moved as one. Then he placed me on my back. He pushed my leg behind my head. He grinned as he slapped my core with his beef stick. I pouted. "Ah you are so cute baby." He said while sliding into me. He began moving deep and slow. I groan and grab his butt. He kisses me deeply and continues. I could feel him touching my g spot. "Ah deeper baby. Make your wife come." I moan in his ear. Hobi grunts and pumps deeper. I could feel everything go blank and I hit Utopia as a screamed out his name and gushed everywhere. Hobi filled me to the brim with his warm goodness. He collapsed on top of me as we try to catch our breath. He grins and looks down at me. "I love you baby." "I love you too." I said allowing him to kiss me. ************** I was rushing down the hallway to present what I needed in our meeting. I know people think I have it easy because my adopted father is over the clan and our business. However I do work hard. I earned the title of 1st Lady of our generation. I can hear Yoongi and Hobi laughing has I walk speedy in front of them. Everyone slowly walks in...Namjoon, Jungkook, Jimin, Hobi, Jin, Tae, and Yoongi. We stand when the Cheif Ji-Yong walks in. "Good morning. Let's begin with our progress....Jasmine." TO BE CONTINUED...... Ride or Die Peeps Taglist @lisablinkarmy @SolYLuna @szewwy @koalabear @SweetDuella @DefSoul1994 @blessowmwago @Starbell808 @Jiminsnooder @SarahHibbs @Yugykookie97 @WinKonVIP @simpsonsamantha @lrwc12 @Gladys21 @hyunjinnie @VeronicaArtino @Shanai88 @Mochiroon @jungkookieeeee @Blackrose139 @cathysanchez157 @KittyCat1998 @Kail916 @pandaqueen7 @MelissaGarza
Jin Was live on the V App!!🥳🎉🎂💕
Click the links below to watch the v live if you missed it ⤵️ http://www.vlive.tv/video/163801 http://www.vlive.tv/video/163804 Today is also his Birthday in Korea!!🥳 HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIN!!💕 All the members are with him!💕 I tried to post this card when he went live but it wouldn’t post! I’m sorry😔 ❤BANGTAN ARMY TEAM❤: @Yugykookie97 @Mochiroon @QueenPandaBunny @MelissaGarza @HUMANWIZARD @agustdsaveme @chimchimsjams @kaylenne956 @kpopfan88 @Aliza1 @Kyla05 ❤ARMY TAGLIST❤: @amandamuska  @blessowmwago @BoyGroupKpop @Bxbybri @CleafeMaeObina @coolwolf13 @dalenalw @echoxsoul  @gabstar143  @Gracebug @HannahC19 @herreraletecia  @HomegirlG  @ifitnessvn @Ilovephases @izzybell1202 @jennyfer1111r1 @jiminiebae @jkenshayla @jungkookieeeee @Just2BLoved @kaylawalker929  @kaylenne956 @krissynormam @kpopfan88 @Kyla05 @MelissaGarza @Mochiroon @Nyxxonn @PANDABTS @QueenPandaBunny @rebeccariley52 @rodrickagardne @Rose2demhaters @samcorsam @simpsonsamantha @Shelbeigh19 @shellyfuentes70 @soobak @Starbell808 @szewwy @Taekookimonster  @Tiffiedannie @wolfyplayzyv @yukigintokie    *let me know if you want to be apart of the ARMY taglist* K-Monsta Squad: @Yugykookie97 @BBxGD @lilbr0wneyes @DefSoul1994 @KpopGaby @MYAlpha @BangtanGirlOT12 Tag List: @cagonzales9696 @MonieManhiM @cherriblossom17 @SimplyAwkward @Btsislife @jaselgalindo @emealia @saraortiz2002 @xsandos17 @VictoriaBossier @TaehyungKey @Sarahdarwish @kpopandkimchi @Emealia @terenailyn @MonAnnahiX @4dalientae @PrettieeEmm @kyokeo @KwonOfAkind @AnimeKpopLover @SugaOnTop  @QueenyCrossGene @MadAndrea @B1A4BTS5ever @zyxzj @Taehyungie @VKookie47 @NuXX @Baekyeol27 @DOislifeExoL @kpopbeat @BulletproofV @PrincessUnicorn @luna1171 @LisetteZapata @herreravanessa9 @MadAndrea @AnimeKpopFreak @amandamuska @RandomName @aliendestina @mrsyookihyun @MaelstromVIP @Foxxyjinxx @Bangtanss @YessicaCardenas @JadeOwens @cns1391 @JJiBin @TheEnlightment @BlueMoon201 @QueenPandaBunny @emberreynemoll @LacyTanner @nyxxonn @SweetDuella @MmIlk @KihyunA @ARMY4Life @SerenaArthurs @Additional18 @jessicaclove  @olive07354  @YungStatin  @nickij @Mochiroon @LiyahBoon @BoyGroupKpop @blessowmwago @Lesha @jkenshayla @Kpoplover2016 *Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged from the tag list*
Trauma Ch.6
Who: Reader x Kim Junmyeon What: Angst, Romance, Smut Story: You're just two trauma filled people trying to live normal lives... but trauma is a bitch Junmyeon's POV Y/N came over to work on their project again. Two long weeks had passed since he had told her about his past. The flashbacks in his dreams didn't stop but now mixed with seeing her in them. When they spoke at the cemetery, he had felt something he was unaware of. Almost like he was afraid to break her as he touched her but he had a desire to protect her. He understood what Minseok meant when he said she was fragile but he knew why no one would ever guess that. She acted as though nothing had gone on the past two weeks. Everything was normal with them, the same way he had gone on with his life, medication aside, he was normal. From the outside, no one would know the two of them had experienced the worst trauma imaginable. He found himself staring at her while she was in his room. She no longer had an aversion to sitting on his bed. She was laying across it with her laptop open, she was scrolling through some webpage and she had a psychology book open beside her. Their project was more detailed now, probably too detailed considering they only had about six minutes to present all their facts. She was working on the written paper part of it. He helped with the research but he felt like her part was still the biggest of the whole project. She volunteered for it, saying it was her strong suit. He wondered what else was her strong suit. He was curious about her now and his curiosity was being starved by her. Since he'd talked to her about everything going on with her father, she seemed to want to keep him at arms length. It was like she wanted to go back to her everyday normal life and that scared him. He just knew that meant if she was trying to assume her normal life that also meant letting her father get close again because to her that was normal. He had already heard her make up excuses to keep him around. Junmyeon could understand that she didn't want to be alone but she wasn't alone. She had her friends, she had Minseok why would she want to keep allowing that man, who called her pathetic, worthless, a bitch, to continue being in her life? Just because they were blood didn't mean he wouldn't hurt her. He knew that first hand and now she knew it. What was she so desperately clinging onto? Junmyeon had been staring at her for so long that Y/N could feel it because she looked up at him curiously. She offered a little smile, though it was a bit bashful. "What?" She asked. "What?" She chuckled light heartedly, "You've got a look on your face," she said. "What look?" She sat up while covering her pen with its cap. She crossed her legs and said, "Like you want to say something but you don't want to say it...or can't." He stared at her for a moment and then looked away. He didn't really know what he wanted to say. There were things he wanted to ask her like was she okay, did she talk to her father, was she going to stop seeing him? He didn't ask her any of those things. He just sighed and stood up, "I'm going to get a beer, you want one?" "No I'm good. I probably shouldn't be drinking while I'm constructing an argument," she laughed. He smiled at her politely and walked out to the kitchen. Something about being around her was bugging him. It was that feeling he always got when he was around her though, this need to be on her nerves just so he would be the center of her attention. He took a sip of the beer he pulled out of the fridge while he recalled the gigantic smile she gave Siwon when she saw him. They must've been close for her to be so happy to see him. Was she ever happy to see him, Junmyeon wondered? Does she even like me? He thought. Maybe that was a dangerous thought. He wasn't even sure where it came from. Maybe it had something to do with the day at the cemetery, when he touched her face. He saw her crying for him not just for herself. It touched him in some way he couldn't explain. He felt closer to her for a moment but now that she had pulled back he was a little frustrated by it, especially if that meant she was going to give her father another chance. He was lost in thought as he was leaving the kitchen, he didn't hear Y/N approaching. He bumped into her by accident and his beer spilt on her shirt and exploded onto the ground when he dropped it. She gasped when the beer splashed on her pants as well. She pinched the dry parts of her shirt and pulled it from her skin. "Shit, I'm so sorry Y/N I didn't see you there." He said. "It's alright, I should've been louder I guess." Junmyeon grabbed a napkin and hurried to pat her shirt down until he realized he was patting along her breasts. He stopped and laughed awkwardly and handed her the napkin, "Maybe I better let you do that." "Yeah. Thanks." Junmyeon scrambled to get his beer cleaned up as Y/N made her way into the living room and took a seat. She slipped off her socks that had gotten wet as well and sat with them in her hand. She turned the TV on, now giving the room some noise. He finished cleaning up and walked over, "Glad to know you're so comfortable here you can just turn the TV on." He chuckled. Staring at the TV, fliping through channels she said, "I thought you said you'd stop teasing me." "I wasn't teasing," he sat down. "I'm just making an observation." She had turned on a drama to start watching. She must've hit a dead end in her project, that or they really had been working on it for too long. They had been working for at least two and a half hours straight. The time went by so fast, it probably didn't seem like they had spent that much time working until he got up. Junmyeon had retrieved a new beer and sipped on it while watching the drama with her. His arm instinctively relaxed on the back of the couch. He noticed she shifted in her seat for a moment, almost like she was avoiding him. He set his beer down on the table and said, "Y/N why are you doing that to me?" "Doing what?" She asked, still watching TV almost as if not taking him seriously. Or maybe she wanted to avoid eye contact with him. "Why are you avoiding me?" "Who's avoiding? I've been here doing a project with you and now I'm watching TV with you, how is that avoiding?" She tugged at the bottom of her shirt raising the wet part off of her body. He still felt bad about that even though he never heard her coming. She was as sneaky as her cat. "You don't talk to me much" he said. "It's not like we've talked much to each other before. What conversation we did have involved insults being passed around like a bong at a frat party." He chuckled at the reference, it seemed out dated but she was right. He wanted to talk to her now. The main thing that was on his mine was, is she alright but he didn't want to ask it. He was afraid if he did, he might upset her. She was staring at the TV the entire time she spoke with him though, and that was annoying him. He grabbed the remote and shut the TV off, which finally gave him her attention. "What?" She said. "Can't you at least respect me enough to look at me when we talk?" "I'm looking at you now." "Are you that annoyed that I got you wet?" "Excuse me?" she said, her eyebrows raised. Junmyeon rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean...Unless?" He added suggestion in his voice with the last bit even though he knew he didn't do anything to her to turn her on. At least, he didn't think he did. She smiled though, finally seeming to relax the tension he was feeling and said, "No, I know what you meant I was just messing with you. I'm not annoyed with you Junmyeon. I think you're just reading into things." "I don't think so. You've always been different towards me, ever since we met. You seem so loving with others, so why do I get the feeling that you're always trying to shun me?" She faced him more and took in a breath before she said, "I think the bigger question is, why do you feel the need to be liked by everyone? Or more specifically, me?" It was a good question. He had never felt himself to be a narcissist but as she asked that it took him back to how he felt when she was speaking to Siwon. He wanted her to look at him the same way for some reason. Something was churning in his gut that he didn't understand. For some reason, he wanted to be wanted by her. He couldn't pin point where this feeling was stemming from. He wondered if it had always been there. He looked deep into her honey crisp rounded eyes. Some how they looked doe like to him as she stared back. She looked innocent, he started wondering did her mother drive her father crazy with that look. Were those eyes the reason he had fallen in love with her? In love? Was that what he was feeling? There was no way, the feeling of love wasn't that foreign to him. He loved his grandparents but falling in love was much different and definitely uncharted territory for him. He liked the way she looked, he always had even if he never told her. He was drawn to her when he fist saw her in the apartment talking to Minseok. It had more to do with how cheery she was. That's what made him want to join in on the conversation in the first place. By the time he gathered himself together to sit down by her the mood between them had already changed. He was annoyed that she didn't resume that same demeanor when he sat down though, even as Minseok changed the subject. He supposed he always did tease her because sometimes there was something he said that made her laugh at him. He never noticed how that made him feel though. No, he couldn't be falling in love with her. Yet, his chest felt a little tight as he stared back at her. He had gotten so deep in his head that he cleared his throat and stood up quickly. "Let me get you one of my t-shirts. Looks like you don't like wet clothes." He said. It was his excuse to get away from her for a moment. He took his time getting the shirt too. There was a knock on the door just as he was coming back out of his room. He handed her the shirt and went to answer it. He was surprised to find both his grandparents standing at the door. His grandmother opened her arms wide, "Hello Myeonie!" She said. She wore a giant smile and gave him a big hug. He was so glad to see them too. "Hey grandma Ji Ji. Hi gramps, why didn't you guys tell me you were coming?" He said. He stepped aside to let them in and then walked with him deeper into the house. "We were out and around here so we thought we would surprise you. We're glad your home." His grandmother said. "Yeah, I got some hours on my shift cut back so I could work on this school project-" "Oh are we interrupting your work?" His grandmother asked. "No not at all. Actually, I just took a break. Anyway, I'm always happy to see you guys." He said. "That's good. Have you eaten?" His gramps said. "Uh no, not yet. Do you want to go out to-" "Oh! You have company." Y/n said. Junmyeon turned around to see she had come out wearing his white t-shirt. He was actually happy that his grandparents wouldn't be able to tell one way or another that it was his. His grandfather wasn't a subtle person and he would've assumed they were doing something they weren't. "Oh Y/N, these are my grandparents from my mother's side. This is my grandmother Lee Jimin. I call her Ji Ji." Junmyeon said. "Which you're welcome to call me as well." Grandma Ji Ji said with a smile. Y/N smiled big, that smile that she'd given Siwon and so many others. What was it about him that he wasn't getting that same reaction. It was annoying that he was the only one that seemed to notice it. Did she even know she was doing it? Even if she didn't, what did that have to say about the way she felt about him? Was he really that annoying to her? He did have a habit of being cruel to her though, perhaps it would take more time for her to adjust. Y/N had bowed to his grandmother and said, "It's very nice to meet you." Junmyeon continued with the introduction, "And this is my gramps, Lee Junwon." "Nice to meet you as well Lee-nim." She said. She offered another bow with the same pretty smile. Pretty? It was a pretty smile. He might've gone as far as to say beautiful but only in his head. When did he start thinking these things, he could only wonder. "Yah, why are you so formal to them but not me?" He whined. She chuckled which was a far more light hearted mood than before. "Hey, we were going to go out to get something to eat, did you want to join us?" He asked. "Oh no that's okay it's your family time I wouldn't want to intrude." "Oh nonsense child, we'd love to have you join us. Any friend of Junmyeon is welcome." Ji ji said. Y/N smiled politely and said, "Alright. Junmyeon do you mind if I leave my stuff here though?" "Sure, no one will go in my room." She grinned at him like she had a joke to say but stopped herself because of present company. They all left the flat and jumped into his grandparents car. Grandmother Ji Ji was talking about somethings she remembered about Junmyeon while he was a child which made Y/N laugh. He was embarrassed that she was giving away such secrets and giving Y/N ammo to use on him later. His grandparents had lots of questions regarding Y/N like how they met and what she did in school. He had no idea that she worked a late shift at bar as a bartender but he never asked. He found out she was looking to start a non profit organization for abused children. Her aspiration was to give them housing while allowing siblings to stay together rather than be separated by the foster system. She wanted to make sure that even if they weren't adopted by family members or couldn't be taken in by other family members that they had a stable home and were taught well. She admitted she was stilling planning out all she wanted to do but she was happy that her business degree was helping with all of that. Junmyeon's goals weren't nearly as noble as hers were. He wanted to be able to own a business, any business that would allow him to take care of his grandparents and live life happily. He didn't really consider others in his plans. He just wanted to be something other than the little boy that lost his parents in such a tragic way. On the way to the restaurant, Junmyeon heard Y/N laugh and talk as if she'd known his grandparents for years. It was still annoying to him that she was so much more relaxed with everyone else than she was with him. She did seem to warm up a little around him though. She didn't mind sitting next to him in the restaurant and she smiled at him as she spoke to the table. She smiled at him the way he wanted her to smile at him. He was startled again by the way it felt to see her smile back at him. The way she looked when she was happy was drastically different from when she was terrified. He felt like if he had the ability to keep her this happy in life he would; he'd do it every opportunity he could. If he could make her smile permanent, he would. She caught him staring again, he didn't realize he was. He didn't even notice that his grandfather got up to use the restroom. She looked at him giggling from something his grandmother said, "What?" She asked. Her large grin and rounded eyes were alluring, like a innocent babydoll. Those eyes had to have drove her father wild, if she looked just like her mother, he understood why he lost himself when she walked out on them. Though, he didn't know what type of woman her mother was, he was seeing what a gentle soul she was and despite being fragile, she was captivating enough to lose himself. Her skin was soft, he remembered holding her cheeks when she was crying, her cheeks had become a little rosey as he held her face but she was soft. Her cheeks were puffy, squishy. Just as he remembered that touch, he smiled at her. "What?" She asked again. "Nothing," he said. He was almost bashful as he looked away. He cleared his throat and made a B line to the restroom after excusing himself. He could only imagine what his grandmother might say to her but right now he needed advice from the one person in the world he trusted more than anything. Junmyeon entered the bathroom seeing his grandfather washing his hands. "Gramps, I need to talk to you." He said. "In here?" He chuckled. "Yeah, it'll only take a second though." "Alright son, what is it?" "How did you know- when you were in love with grandmother I mean?" "Well that's hard to say," His grandfather thought for a moment as if searching through his history records of that very day. The moment he fell in love. Junmyeon wasn't sure that's what it was but he was feeling something strongly towards her and he was doing everything he could not to kiss her. He had never resisted such an urge but he didn't want to risk scaring her off either, not after she had finally smiled at him the way he so desperately wanted her too. "I suppose I knew I loved her when I realized I didn't want to live without her." Junmyeon looked at him confused. His grandfather laughed and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It was more than that, I didn't want to live without her actually. I just couldn't live without her. Her most annoying traits had become features about her that excited me the most. She made me feel alive when I was around her. She still does." He said. Junmyeon looked down discouraged. He didn't feel any of that for Y/N. Not at the moment at least, he felt protective of her though. He didn't want anyone to harm her, not even her father. Still, there was a throbbing in his chest even as he thought about her. His grandfather sensed that he didn't give him the answer he was hoping for and patted his back, "Don't worry son, when you know you'll know. Just try asking her out on a date." He said. Junmyeon looked at his grandfather suspiciously and his grandfather smiled back. If anyone could pick up how he was feeling and who he was feeling it for, it would be his gramps. He smiled back and they walked out of the bathroom together. There was someone who had stopped by the table and Y/N's face was lit up as she was talking to him. It wasn't the Siwon guy that he had seen before. She was very interested in what he had to say though and she was laughing so hard she covered her mouth. When they made it over to the table, Y/N looked at him and said, "Junmyeon this is Ryeowook. Wookie this is my project partner. He's also Minseok's roommate." "Oh, hi! Nice to meet you." He said. Junmyeon bowed politely, "Nice to meet you too." Y/N popped out of her seat and let Junmyeon scoot inside so she could finish talking to Ryeowook. He felt like he was invisible at the moment. It was starting to crush him a little. "Uh, listen I better go before Heechul gets back." Ryewook said a little weary. She crossed her arms and sounded intrigued, "Oh he's here?" "Yeah, I don't want to make you uncomfortable though." "I wouldn't be. We broke up four months ago I'm over it. Besides, I've missed you two so much, my cutie Wookie!" She sounded cute as she pinched Ryeowook's cheeks. She was friends with her ex's friends? That was odd to him. That also meant that her and Siwon weren't actually an item, old or current. Minseok did tell him she went through a break up. Her friend seemed to blush as she teased him cutely but they also seemed like they were as close as Siwon and her used to be. It was a secret Junmyeon wanted to discover; how does he get close to her? At this point, he seemed obsessed with the idea of getting Y/N's attention he just wasn't sure if it was because it was directed else where, if it was because they experienced a similar past or if it was because he was developing feelings for her. He started wishing he had spent time alone with her. "Oh, here he comes. I better get going." "See yah, tell Siwon to stop by any time okay? Lady misses him." She beamed. Her friend laughed and waved goodbye to her before heading to her ex. Y/N took her seat by Junmyeon again and resumed speaking with his grandparents. Junmyeon wanted to get a better look at the guy that she used to date. He looked over her shoulder, he looked a few years older than both of them. Her ex had turned back to see Junmyeon staring at him. Junmyeon felt territorial for a moment. There was a look in her ex's eye that he didn't like, it was almost the same kind of look he saw in her father's eye when he arrived at her front door. That look made him sick. Junmyeon's arm wrapped around the back of her seat like he was marking his territory and telling her ex to stay away. "Isn't that right Junmyeon? " his grandmother chuckled. Junmyeon looked back at her a little surprised, "Huh?" "We were talking about favorite foods. Yours is japchae right? " she said. "Oh, yeah. Actually, Y/N made some for dinner one night. It was the best japchae I ever tasted." "Really, we'll have to try it someday." His gramps said. Y/N's smile beamed like a ray of sunshine. It was like she was so proud that someone wanted to taste her cooking. "I'd love to have you all over one night to try it!" She said. "We can arrange a date right?" Junmyeon asked. "Of course!" "Oh darling, you must let me bring dessert then." Grandma Ji ji said. "She actually makes the best moon pies in all of Seoul." Junmyeon confirmed. "Sounds like a dinner plan to me. Let me know whenever you're free we can set up a night." Junmyeon actually liked how well his grandparents took to Y/N. He took to her well too. He was definitely feeling a much different way about her now than he had before. After they had finished eating, Junmyeon's grandparents dropped them back off at his flat and Y/N came inside with him to get her things. Minseok had classes earlier that day and work that night so it was obvious he wouldn't be home but neither one of them knew what Jongin was up too. Y/N was gathering all her stuff together when Junmyeon thought he might take a moment to really test what he was feeling. "So how did you like going out with my grandparents?" He asked. "Oh I really like them. I was seriously about the dinner night too. If you all ever want to drop by, just give me a heads up about it. I'd love to have them over." "You seem to be cheerier than before." She nodded with a huge smile. "That's the first time I've ever been around someone's family and felt so welcome. Today was like- being in a dream. Like I got to experience what I always wanted to experience when I was little....It was like I was with family," "My grandparents tend to have that affect on people." he said. She hummed as if day dreaming about being around them again. "Were they the only ones you liked being around today?" He asked stepping up to her. "Hm? What do you mean?" He came closer and his voice lowered almost to a whisper as he gazed into her eyes. "I mean did you enjoy being out with me?" "Yeah, you're more interesting than I gave you credit for." She chuckled. "So let me ask you this," he cupped her cheek again, like he did the day at the cemetery, "does being with me make you feel anything?" Her eyes widened a little, they looked doey that way. Wide, surprised and glittering. She was still like she was just now recognizing how close he was to her. She took in a shaky breath but he couldn't tell if that meant she was turned on or scared. "Like what?" She whispered. "Like how I feel?" He dipped his head down hovering over her lips. "How do you feel?" "Like I want to kiss you...Can I?" The question must've taken her by surprise. She swallowed and her lips parted again with labored breath like her heartbeat started to run away from her. He teased like he'd kiss her hoping to coax an answer out of her. He deeply wanted her to say yes, even if it was in a whisper. His body was aching, he felt excitement rush through him with anticipation. He never asked to kiss, he usually surprised the girl or he just knew it would be okay but with her he couldn't take any chances. He needed to know if this was okay. Everything inside him was hoping it was okay. "Yes." She whispered faintly. Junmyeon smiled, even though he wanted to crash his lips into hers and kiss her so hard he could draw out his soul, he didn't. He lowered his lips to hers and tasted them for the first time, small but soft. She breathed in like she was scared but their lips molded together and Junmyeon's hand felt the softness of her cheek. Their warm wet tongues caressed each other and Junmyeon's heart pounded in his chest. He felt heat rise through his body and that feeling he felt in the restaurant returned again. He wanted her. He wanted her so bad he wanted to scoop her up and take her without asking but he forced himself to be patient, to enjoy the taste of her on his lips like a savory candy. He kissed her long and took his time before pulling away as if he would never get this chance again. He was hoping to get this chance again. It felt like his heart was in his throat as he reluctantly broke the kiss. He looked into her eyes, her pupils now blown up which made him stir below. She looked hypnotized like he caught her under a spell. "Don't hurt me," She whispered. "I don't think I can survive being hurt again." She said. "Believe me, hurting you isn't anywhere in my plans." "What is?" He smiled, lifted her chin and brought his lips to her ear. "Will you let me have you tonight?" He pulled away to look at her face, she looked stunned he even asked her. She looked like she was conflicted between her body wanting to say yes and her mind saying no. She looked scared but she also looked like she wanted to allow it to happen. She looked uncertain. She must've been questioning him in her mind. "Will you be gentle?" she whispered. He smiled and brushed hair behind her ear, "Of course." She looked like she was still thinking her decision through before she looked back at him and said, "Okay." He was ecstatic she agreed. He pulled her close to his body, and kissed her down to the bed. Would sleeping with her fulfill this aching in his heart, he wondered, or would it throb even more to know her? Boss Squad: @royalpandajedi @Fromblue2u @Queenpandabunny @marrickej33 @BBxGD @Starbell808 @MelissaGarza @liyahboon Fans: @elishafisher @JaxomB @EXOahjummafan @StefaniTre @Yugykookie97 @dalenalw
Trauma Ch.4
Who: Reader x Kim Junmyeon What: Angst, Romance, Smut Story: You're just two trauma filled people trying to live normal lives... but trauma is a bitch Junmyeon's POV Junmyeon admitted to himself only that Y/N cut him deep when she asked him if he were "so incapable of understanding he wasn't wanted somewhere". That brought back a feeling he didn't want to remember. After what happened tonight though, he understood her a lot more. It cleared up a lot of the things he thought he knew about her. He could tell her father was strict but he could see it in her eyes and her manners that she was terrified of him. When Junmyeon witnessed her father push her, he was in shock and when he basically attacked her, he was furious. He couldn't comprehend why her father hated her so much. Junmyeon never hated Y/N, he liked annoying her though. She kind of got on his nerves as well but he didn't hate her. He never hated a woman enough to want to put his hands on them and it baffled him that her own flesh and blood could do that. It made him recoil in his head when he realized what he'd done to her just a week ago, purposely bumping into her. It was unnecessary. He could've triggered things in her the way he was triggered by his past. Actually, if he was thinking about it hard enough, he was perfectly aware of the fact that there were people out there that came from dysfunctional families. Families with issues, pain, abuse. After all, his own father was planning on killing him. Junmyeon sat Y/N down on his couch and he brought the cat out in her cage. She took her out and sat her on her lap while Junmyeon retrieved the beers from the kitchen. She looked up at him seeing the beers and smiled softly. He sat down next to her and said, "What?" "I didn't think you were serious about the beers." "Oh I never joke about beer." He smiled big at her and opened her bottle then handed it too her. He didn't know if she was a beer drinker or not but when he saw her take that first gulp he could tell that it was hitting her just right. She wanted to forget what happened tonight. She may not be a drinker but she needed the drink. "Slow down a little. I need to catch up" he said. "I have a feeling your temperament is better than mine when under the influence." "Have you ever been drunk before?" He asked. "A few times. Some times weren't as bad as others." She said. She sighed and relaxed deeper into the couch. He watched her hand pet her cat while she drank from her beer with the other. Junmyeon joined in and sat in the silence with her. He wasn't sure what to talk to her about. He doubted she'd want to discuss what just happened at her place. He wanted to kick himself for not noticing that she was afraid earlier. He was upset at himself for not reacting fast enough, the shock just took over his body. Before he knew it, he had finished his beer and when he looked over at her, she'd finished before him. She was touching her face where she was hit, he could tell from the look in her eyes she was reliving it. "I think we're going to need something stronger than beer." He said as he got up. She reached out for him and said, "We didn't eat much, drinking too much could cause a lot of problems." "I'll order out, although, your food tastes way better than take out. I may have to start dropping by during dinner. " She rolled her eyes but she didn't say no. Even though he was just joking, he was tempted to try anyway. After all, they still had a project to work on, maybe they would end up eating together anyway. He shook his head as he grabbed the bottle of apple soju out of the refrigerator and grabbed the shot glasses. He ordered take out from an app on his phone and poured the shots for him and her. She was quick to throw the shot back leaving Junmyeon wide eyed. "You're a better drinker than most girls I know." He laughed. "I've had my practice, believe me." She wiped the side of her mouth with her wrist then pushed the shot glass over to him. Junmyeon looked at her with a cocked eye. He took his shot before he poured her one and then refilled both of their cups. By the time she finished that shot, she was fanning herself. Junmyeon laughed, "You're hot already?" "Hey, alcohol tends to spike up my temperature. You're telling me you're not hot?" He shook his head, "I don't feel it yet." "You will." He laughed as he stood up to go and lower the temperature in the room. Her body temperature would only rise and his would too as he drank. He figured this trick out a long time ago. The more he drank, the hotter he got and the more clothes he'd strip off. He then found himself under a blanket in his room freezing in the morning. It kept him comfortable while he drank, it was the waking up part that was a bitch. The doorbell rang and he answered it to get the food. He watched as she slipped her cat back into the cage and whispered to her, "Be good Lady." She was calmer but she was tipsy he could tell. She started pouring another shot and Junmyeon hurried over to stop her from drinking it. "Hold on you lush. Let's get some food in you first. You know, to absorb that." She chuckled but placed her hand on her face like she was embarrassed. Anguish washed over her face for a second and she started to pick at the containers that held her food. Junmyeon took a moment to get himself settled. He started wondering if bringing alcohol in the mix was a wise decision. She suddenly looked over at him and said, "Why did you help me?" "You can't think I'm that heartless can you? Any decent person would step in." "I didn't know you had one." she smirked. She went ahead and took another shot. The alcohol was getting to her more now than before. He could see a glaze over her eyes like she wasn't really there. She blinked hard, something he recognized in other women he drank with. She had a few shots and a beer, she wasn't a light weight but she didn't seem to have a very high tolerance either. She covered her mouth and burped or hiccuped, maybe both, he wasn't entirely sure. She giggled though and said, "You didn't have to bring me here though. You didn't have to- be nice... So why did you?" She asked. "Well I couldn't just leave you there like that. What's the deal with your father anyway? He's- well he's abusive, why are you putting up with it?" He asked. "Oh that's a boring story. Someone like you wouldn't care to hear it." She said it sarcastically but Junmyeon knew that was really how she felt about him. She relaxed deeper into the couch with her eyes closing; she smiled even though it was clear to him that she was hurting. He regretted ever giving her a hard time. He clearly knew nothing about her and even if she did get on his nerves sometimes, he wasn't okay with seeing her submit to her father like that. She was tough around everyone else, why couldn't she stand up to him? Why wouldn't she? Junmyeon was seven when everything with his family happened. He hated his father now, the rage that grew in him towards that man only built the older he got. He was sure if his father was still alive he would rage against him so much so that he'd kill him almost on sight. Y/N held her own against everyone else though. Why just her father? It was a mystery he didn't want to wait to find out, as long as she was drunk she might be more willing to tell him. "What makes you think I don't want to hear it?" He asked her. Her eyes opened up and she turned her head to look at him. She twisted her lips in an odd fashion and then bit the corner for a second. She then sat up poured herself one more shot and threw it back. Junmyeon looked at her oddly, she really needed another shot to tell the story? How bad was this story? "Hey, I'm not that pathetic, I just don't actually want to remember this evening in the morning." She said. She fixed herself on the couch to face him more and said, "Okay, so my sad little story begins... not so sad actually. My father used to be really gentle with me, he was a good guy. In a lot of ways, he was just a normal papa." "So what changed?" She released a heavy sigh. "My mother did actually." She stopped for a moment, there was a half smile on her face but her eyes did that gaze like she was zoning out. Her mind was still there but she was staring 40 yards ahead of her. She wasn't looking at Junmyeon she was just...staring at space. Or perhaps the memories that were playing in her mind like a movie. He knew how that felt. "When I was ten, my mother walked out on us. We never got a reason why. My dad has bipolar disorder so when she left him, he flew off the handle in a very big way. He wasn't consistent with taking his medications anymore. At some point, I think he just stopped so his moods were always erratic; he would be in a euphoria one moment then a month later he'd be angry or depressed. He threw everything out that belonged to her. He burned the sheets they shared and destroyed the furniture she picked out. He even threw out items she bought me. I loved my papa so much that if he was that angry at my mom then it made sense for me to be that angry at her too. So, I didn't really care that he threw that stuff out. He got rid of almost half my wardrobe though, it took him almost two months to replace the ones he threw away." "When did he become abusive?" Junmyeon asked. She looked up at him like she was hurt he was calling her father's actions abusive. He could also see on her face that she knew she couldn't argue that he was abusive. She said, "Almost immediately...My father loved my mother very much and when she left us without a warning it put him in a bad place. She was his reason for being, she accepted him so when she left him without a reason it destroyed him. I did my best to not need her, to not whine but I missed her. I was angry at her for all the pain she put us through but I really wanted my mother. That was a trigger enough for him to get angry. I cried for my mom and he just went off. He screamed and threw things at me and then he hit me. He came to apologize to me and begged me to keep it a secret. He told me that he couldn't lose me too. Someone would take me away from him and he would die without me." "Y/N that's manipulation and it's dangerous." Junmyeon said concerned. She looked up at him with tears resurfacing and brimming her eyes. She swallowed hard as a tear escaped and ran down her cheek. "I look like my mom," She confessed. "It took me a while to realize that's what he hated about me the most. He didn't want me to be like her. He wanted to remold me. It's so confusing and so fucked up because-" she sniffled and wiped her tears but more ran down to replace them "I lived with someone that loved and hated me at the same time. So when he flew in a rage...even if it wasn't because of something I did, I was the target. I don't know what was worse, when I was the one that screwed up or when it happened for no reason." "I don't understand, why do you keep letting him into your house?" She gave a weak smile. Her eyes looked like a water falland red blush rand from cheek to cheek across the bridge of her nose. "He's my father." She said. That didn't seem like a good enough reason to him but to her it made sense. It was clear she was struggling with her feelings for him as well. She loved him and probably hated him too. Junmyeon wouldn't blame her for hating him. However, he didn't think she should keep allowing herself to be subjected to that kind of abuse. He saw how quickly her father reacted just because she mentioned her mother he couldn't imagine the beatings he gave her years before. He felt sick to his stomach but she chuckled clearly drunk. Her breathing skipped and hitched like a child that had been crying furiously and was told to calm down or face a harsher punishment. Her hands worked to clear he face like it was important for her to not show such a weak side of herself. "Did no one else know about this?" Junmyeon asked. "Minseok did." He shouldn't have been surprised by that but he was. He didn't see Minseok staying quiet while something like that happened to her. He was annoyingly protective of her. Now that he realized that, maybe that's why he was asking him to be kind to her while they worked on their project together. She always seemed like the type of girl with a normal up bringing. She was a good student, she had her friends and she didn't seem to have any problems. When she suggested doing their project on depression he assumed it was because of what Minseok went through, maybe it was or maybe it was also connected to her. When she mentioned PTSD connecting to depression, all he could focus on was his trauma. He never would've suspected that she knew what real trauma was. She was a full grown adult and she was still being abused by her father because her father hated her mother. To Junmyeon, it seemed like he hated her too. When Junmyeon spoke with Y/N's father, he didn't seem like the warm welcoming father he expected her to have. He thought that had more to do with his comments to her when he arrived than it did with her father. As they talked, he asked questions about how well they knew each other and how she behaved in her classes. Her father was using Junmyeon as an informant almost as if he was hoping to catch her in a lie later. He was annoyed with her for getting a B but to Junmyeon that didn't make sense. It seemed like he just wanted a reason to go off. Though her father may actually have bipolar disorder, Junmyeon was sure he was treating Y/N that way of his own sound mind. It wasn't his disorder that made him this wicked towards her it was his own hatred of her mother, the person she looked like, the root of his pain and the one he actually hated, that made him treat her that way. It occurred to Junmyeon that perhaps her father couldn't separate the two of them. When he saw Y/N, it was possible all he was saw his estranged wife despite knowing she was his daughter. The face that kept looking back at him with big sad eyes, almost like an injured puppy belonged to his daughter but triggered his hate for his former wife. It was up to her father to recognize that he was the problem not Y/N. Junmyeon was starting to understand a little bit that Y/N was desperate to have a parent. She loved her father so she convinced herself to make allowances for his behavior. She blamed his disorder and kept up the role as the daughter that did her best to make her father proud. "That's why he doesn't like Minseok," She said. "I guess he always figured he'd tell someone what he was doing and then I'd be taken away." "And then he couldn't beat on you any more." "Myeon." She sighed. "No, Y/N that's not okay don't let it be okay. He may be your father but he knows what he's doing and he's doing it on purpose." Junmyeon came closer to her and cupped her face. He made her look him in the eye, "He knows he has control over you. That's why he's does this. If you keep letting him do this he might kill you, do you understand? " "No, he won't. He wouldn't." "He may not on purpose but he could hit you and you could fall the wrong way and die. No one should be putting their hands on you. No one." "No, he always apologizes," She was starting to slur her words but tears still spilled over from her eyes. Junmyeon felt hurt just having to talk to her about this. She didn't seem to be hearing him, she was too drunk to really let it all sink in. She smiled despite her eyes being closed, she touched Junmyeon's face and said, "He's my dad. He's all I have." He couldn't relate. When his grandparents took him; they were kind and gentle. They worried about him and tried to make sure that he was okay. They loved him and were tender with his emotions. They made sure they did everything they could to help him work through his trauma. He still wasn't really okay but he was better than he was before. He actually wanted to help her. Her body started to go limp and he realized that she fell asleep. He carried her to his room and laid her on the bed. He would try and stay in Minseok's room for the night. He was sure Minseok wouldn't mind, he would be able to keep an eye on him. At least now, he understood his guardian nature towards her. It was a little past midnight when Minseok and Jongin came back in. Junmyeon had to shush them before he explained that she got drunk and fell asleep. Minseok immediately could tell there was more to the story than that but Jongin shrugged it off and mentioned that it seemed like they had fun. He walked off to go get into bed and when Misneok was sure Jongin wasn't in ear shot anymore he asked for the non abridged version. After he explained everything, Minseok shook his head upset. "I wish she'd just let me turn him in." He seethed. "She's very attached to him." "Of course she is, he's her father. She's so scared to get rid of him because if she does then she'll have no one left. He is all the family she has." Minseok said. "What about the run away mother? Do you think they could make it up?" Minseok looked at him like he was crazy. "She hasn't heard a word from her mother since she was ten, after all she's been through, who'd you forgive her?" "No but then again there's lot I would do that she wouldn't." "Of course there is because you two are different people. She's not really a fighter." "She doesn't have grandparents?" "She's never mentioned them. I don't even know if she knows them. I doubt it honestly. This is why I asked you to be careful with her Junmyeon. Things would've gone smoothly if you didn't barge in like that." "Are you kidding me? How the hell did she even get you to keep your mouth shut about all of this? Someone has to wake her up and see that guy for the monser he is." Though Junmyeon was referring to Y/N's father he partly knew his own problems were seeping out. This whole situation was bringing up bad memories for him. They didn't have the same background but they shared pain, a pain that he was sure Minseok couldn't share with her. If he could convince her to stop seeing her father, to keep him out of the house, would she? "She doesn't listen to me. She won't listen to anyone. As long as she does what he says, he'll pay for her college she uses that as justification, if not that she thinks if he apologizes he actually means it." "I talked with him he's got this-- I don't know obsession with her. He needs to have control over her. She's using his mental health as an excuse but that doesn't cut it Minseok, that man is perfectly capable of understanding that what he is doing is wrong." He argued. "Y/N's capable of understanding that too. I'm not condoning what's happening Junmyeon, by no means is this okay-" "Then why aren't you hounding her ass about it?" Junmyeon was utterly frustrated about this situation. His grandparents were his support system. Minseok was the closet thing she had to a support system so why was he just letting her go on like this? Minseok was frustrated himself. A lot of guilt flashed through his face even as he huffed. "I've seen him hit her Junmyeon. I know how bad it is but unless she's willing to speak up about it there's nothing police can or will do." "Okay but as her best friend you should know that you have the power to convince her that she can speak up. You can talk to her and convince her into reporting him. " "I talk to her. All I do is talk to her but she won't listen. I'll try again tomorrow. " Minseok said. Minseok walked down the hallway to his room. Junmyeon took a moment to peer into his too see if she was still asleep. She was out cold. He wanted to try talking to her too. Since they both experienced traumatic events in their past maybe he could help her with the issue. Or at least he could tell her that her father's behavior wasn't worth excusing. There was a simple doubt in his mind, if she didn't even listen to her best friend why would she listen to him? Someone he was sure she wasn't too fond of. He could only try. The next morning came and Y/N walked out of Junmyeon's room looking confused. She covered her mouth as she yawned and then made a face like she could smell her own morning breath. She probably did, Junmyeon resisted his normal urge to tease her about it and walked over to her. "How are you feeling?" He asked "Um...I don't know. How did I fall asleep in your bed?" Junmyeon chuckled. "Don't worry I didn't touch. I laid you down in there and I slept in Minseok's room with him." "Oh," she seemed surprised that he did something so generous. "Thank you." He chuckled, "Well you dont have to seem so surprised by it." "I just didn't expect you to do something so nice. I just hope I didn't get any disease from sleeping in your bed." "Aish you're such a pain in the ass!" She laughed at him. He was being playful when he said it but then he started to wonder if he may have hurt her. He wondered how much his words stung her. He was careless when he spoke with her because he assumed he knew what kind of person she was. She was guilty of being just as careless with him but they were both pretending. They both wanted to be normal, so they could play the role of a typical person despite childhood trauma. Junmyeon cleared his throat, "Listen, about last night," "Oh Junmyeon I don't want to talk about that." "I think it's important that we do." "You don't know what's going on." "Except that you told me what was going on last night. Look, it may be uncomfortable for you to talk about but it's something that really needs to be addressed." "Even if I did tell you, what do you know about what I'm going through. I mean really Junmyeon, you're the one that acts like you have this perfect life and that everything life is gold." "Trust me Y/N, everything that glitters isn't gold. I can understand what you're going through because I my father tried to kill me." She stopped putting up a front and stared at him with wide eyes. The confession didn't just throw her off but she was baffled by exactly what he confessed and he could tell. The police had shown him pity and his grandparents expressed grief, everyone said they couldn't believe someone would do what he did to his own wife and plan what he planned for his own son but in the end, those were the cold hard facts. "I'll tell you my story since you told me yours. That'll make us even, yeah?" He said. She still looked shocked but she nodded yes. Boss Squad: @royalpandajedi @Fromblue2u @Queenpandabunny @marrickej33 @BBxGD @Starbell808 @MelissaGarza @liyahboon Fans: @elishafisher @JaxomB @EXOahjummafan @StefaniTre @Yugykookie97 @dalenalw
Trauma Ch.3
Who: Reader x Kim Junmyeon What: Angst, Romance, Smut Story: You're just two trauma filled people trying to live normal lives... but trauma is a bitch Y/N's POV It was a week later and it was time for you to see your father. You wore a cream colored dress that was more girly than you were used to wearing with a thin brown belt around the waist. You wore short heeled brown boots to match with it. It was important to look well put together when your father showed up. He was very rough around the edges and he was probably the only man you were submissive too. When you were a child, he was softer, kinder to you. Back then, your mother was still around. Once she was out of the picture everything that reminded him of her had to go. On some level, you felt like he wanted to give you up too, not only did you share her DNA but you also looked a lot like her. When your baby picture was held up to her people couldn't tell who was who. Your father used to love that and then suddenly it changed so dramatically. Most of his time was spent trying to mold you into a different person. You were eager to make him proud so you allowed him to mold you like clay into the image he desired. He lost touch with himself when your mother left and he stopped taking his medicine to control his moods. From that point on, your life was filled with trying to balance how to behave during his high and low periods. You went to Uni for a business degree out of your own decision but he made it his business to make sure you were on top of your school work. There was so much you wanted to do including start a non profit organization for children in abusive homes. You would never call your home abusive though... at least not while your father was around. When he went through his manic episodes, he'd end up hitting you and most times you didn't deserve it. If it were simple discipline you might not be so frightened by him but there was a line, a very clear and obvious line between abuse and discipline. Somehow your father had blurred that line or perhaps because of his condition he couldn't really tell the difference. He was all the family you had left, you didn't really know what else to do. You didn't want to be separated from your father when you were young and, by the time you were old enough to really tell the difference between unnecessary roughness and a father's firm hand, you had already come up with enough excuses to deal with it. You had survived so far why not just deal with it? He paid for your college tuition, part of it, so long as you kept your grades up which was why he did routine check ups, reviewing your grades, stopping by to see how you were holding the house up, he even tried to make sure you know how to address him when he came through the door. You sent Lady to Minseok's place for the night because you knew how your father would react to you having a pet. He'd be furious and ask you how you had time and money to pay for a pet while he was paying for half of your college fund. You supposed normal parents wouldn't raise such a row about it but your father wasn't a typical parent and you were well aware of that. You stayed home to clean up all day, this wasn't a visit it was an inspection. It was like having a headmaster stop by dorm rooms to make sure everyone was keeping up with the rules and cleaning their beds. He'd check the kitchen, excuse himself to go to the bathroom and stop by to peer into your bedroom. The room you and Heechul used as office space, really a study room for you, he'd check on. Ever since Heechul stopped by to pick up his necklace and whatever else he left at your place you hadn't seen him and you were fine with that. Siwon was happy that you still wanted to see him and Ryeowook despite you orginally saying that you all shouldn't hang out. Once you had time to think things through you realized you really did miss them and if you didn't see Junmyeon that often then maybe you wouldn't see Heechul that often either. After all, Junmyeon lived with Minseok and it was rare you ever saw him at the house. You two mostly had classes together so Uni was really the only place you saw him the most and you two rarely talked aside from when you two decided to throw some banter out there at each other. It was only because of this recent project that you two even had to spend time with each other. He was annoying you that day at starbucks because it was pretty obvious he was listening in on your conversation with Siwon. Not to mention, he intentionally bumped into you almost hoping to piss you off. When you first met him, you were gushing to Minseok about first meeting Heechul and how you two hit it off so well but then your conversation dipped into your destructive relationship with your father and how pursuing Heechul might be a reflection of how you pursue your father. Your choice of men did often reflect your relationship with your father. Those old memories began to stir within you, leaving you two talking about something serious just as Junmyeon seemed to stick his neck into the conversation. You didn't like that it seemed like he was trying to insert himself into your business but because it wasn't just Minseok's flat you didn't want to ask him to leave. Minseok seemed to not notice that you'd become uncomfortable with him around but he did change the subject pretty quickly which you were happy about. It seemed like where ever you were involved, Junmyeon had to insert himself into the mix and that just annoyed you. You half expected him to show up at his flat after the Starbucks run just so he could continue bothering you. Maybe try to insinuate even more that you and Siwon used to be a couple which wasn't even close to being true. From Minseok's update, he was dating a girl named Hwa Lee. You partly wished you invited Eunha over tonight. She seemed to be a good buffer when your father was around. His mood might stay in check and there would be less risk of him hitting you. You wanted to get the night over with as soon as possible though. The faster you could make him happy with your progress the easier everything else would go bye. He would be in and out of the house in a flash and there would be nothing else to worry about. You hoped. You prepared bulgogi and japchae for dinner. They were both simple dishes and you knew your father would eat them both. On some level, you were almost excited to show him the progress you made in your studies but on a completely different level you were trembling inside. You even called Minseok earlier that day to ask him to help you calm down. He offered to come over but you refused, you didn't want to tell him that he made your father agitated. Your father lost his temper once, when you kids, in front of Minseok and hit you, Minseok wanted to tell but you begged him not to say a word. Your father had held you that night crying his apologies and asking you to forgive him, he didn't want anyone to take you away from him so you just agreed. There wasn't much you could do about it except keep them away from each other. You were just finishing up with dinner when the doorbell rang. Unfortunately, some of the sauce had popped out of the pan and hit the skirt of your dress. You knew he'd eye ball it and make some sort of comment. You didn't have time to change either, especially if it was him, he expected you to come to the door at the first ring. You hurried and put the pot down and made your way to the door. You opened it up expecting your father and ready to use the appropriate greeting when you saw Junmyeon standing at the front step. "Junmyeon." "Why the hell is your cat at my place?" He said annoyed. He walked right past you into your flat and it took you a moment to recover from the shock that he knew where you lived. "Why-what- what are you doing here Myeon?" You said crossing your arms. He groaned and whipped around to see your face before flopping down on your couch. "There you go again being informal again." "Yah! What the hell are you doing here? How do you know where I live?" "I asked Minseok, how do you think? Anyway, what's your little pussy doing at my place." "Excuse me." "The cat." "No, I knew what you meant but it was a bit crude. Anyway, is that why you're here? You could've just called me or asked Minseok if you really wanted an answer." You said. You were agitated, this was not the right time for Junmyeon to be showing up at your place. Actually when it came to him, there was never a right time but this was pretty much the worst time he could've picked. Did Minseok tell him that you were having company? He couldn't have known that Junmyeon was going to stop by otherwise he would've done everything to stop him because he knew exactly who was supposed to be coming through that door. You were baffled that this was even happening right now and you saw him looking at your folders on your table. They had all your current projects and final grades in them. He was flipping through pages before he gave a small little chuckle. "What, are you having an interview here or something?" He mocked. "Can you just tell me why you're here Junmyeon-ah? As I recall, I never actually invited you in but I'm being nice please don't make me be rude." "That wouldn't be different than any other time now would it?" "Junmyeon! " You had about enough, you raised your voice and your hands shot down to your side. They balled into fists not because you were ready to fight but you were terrified that your father was going to show up while he was here. Junmyeon finally got the hint that you weren't in the mood to deal with his bullshit at the moment and he sighed, "In truth, everyone's out of the house. I figured it might be an okay time to work on our project since I have nothing better to do." "And you assumed I didn't have anything to do? You didn't even call as a warning or to ask." "Oh come on, your life revolves around the same people and I already knew since Minseok and Eunha are doing something tonight that you were free." You felt slightly insulted by that but you couldn't really argue against him because he wasn't actually wrong. You sighed and calmed your attitude but you still needed him gone. "Look I have someone coming over tonight and I'd really rather you not be here when they show up." "Oh, got a little date do we? No wonder your all dressed up like a cute little doll. What're the papers for? Did he request your resume?" He teased. He laughed like he knew he was hilarious but you weren't even able to argue back with him. You were too anxious about your father showing up. You stalked over to Junmyeon upset and pulled him off of your couch. "That's it, it's time for you to get out" you said. "Okay okay, no need to push...geeze you're strong. Hey," He stopped by the door and cracked it open. He turned back to look at you with this smart grin on his face and said, "Tell me who it is. Was it that Siwon guy at the Starbucks a week ago?" "Junmy-" You stopped halfway through when you caught something in your sight. You were now staring at the man you knew as your father and he was standing right behind him. Junmyeon turned to see who you were looking at and then laughed, he turned back at you. "No wonder you didn't want anyone to be here. You're dating older guys? What you couldn't get someone you're own age to date you or did you just need a sugar daddy?" You were too stunned by your father appearing while Junmyeon was there to react. Had it been anyone else standing behind him you would've had no problem wringing his neck. Junmyeon settled realizing you were tense and stepped aside so your father could walk up to the door. Your father coughed into a napkin and said, "Well are you going to invite me in or not girl? I'm fighting a cold." "Of course papa. Please come in, make yourself at home." You said. You stepped aside for him to walk in, bowing your head as he did. Junmyeon realized his mistake and seemed more apologetic now. He whispered, "Geeze that's your old man? My bad, I really thought it was a date." "I told you I had someone coming over Junmyeon that should've been enough for you to understand I didn't want you here. Are you so incapable of understanding when you're not wanted somewhere? This is a very bad time." You said. His eyes lowered as if he was finally understanding that he screwed up. It also seemed like you hurt him a little if you were reading his expression correctly. His face seemed so solemn. You had half a mind to apologize but you were trying to refocus on your biggest issue standing in your living room. He was looking around observing the place like he usually did. "The place is clean, that's good to see. Invite your guest in." He said. "He's not a guest papa and he was just leaving." "Invite him in child. I'd like to talk to this friend of yours." "Papa-" you said ready to argue. Your father gave you a glare that shook you inside out. It was the kind of glare that froze the room with you in it. You swallowed hard when you saw it. The little voice inside your head was telling you not to make him angry but you could only imagine how terrible this evening would be if Junmyeon stayed. You could only imagine what Junmyeon might see and that was enough to stir fear in your heart. "I said invite him in." "Yes sir." You turned to Junmyeon giving him a pleading look now. If he had just listened to you earlier you might've been able to sneak him out a different way you could've hid him in your room until your father made his way to the kitchen and then snuck him out. This night would've gone hundreds of times smoother if Junmyeon had just shut up and left when you asked. You could already feel the fresh sting of your father's heavy hand coming across your face. You couldn't cry around him. You couldn't let him see that, you just had to take it. How was this man your father? How did everything get so complicated? "Junmyeon...please." you said softly. You extended your hand in your home so that he would come back in. He looked from your worried defeated face and looked at your father. He straightened up with a smile that seemed sweeter than you were used to seeing. His eyes even smiled, it was almost unnerving because you were sure he was up to something. He placed his hands in his pockets and walked inside. You didn't have him or your father put on house shoes you just couldn't think at the moment. You walked in afterwards and you extended your hand out to your father. "Thank you for visiting my home papa." You said. He looked at you and shook your hand. His eyes fell to where you had the bulgogi sauce stain. He gave a sigh of disapproval. "Seems you can't even dress properly for my arrival. Don't you know how to keep yourself clean?" He said "I could change if you'd like." "It doesn't matter now. Have you set the table yet?" "Not yet papa." "Go do that. I'll look over your work." He demanded. You didn't argue as he took a seat on your couch and grabbed the folders you had set down for him to look through. You were quiet as you headed into the kitchen to pull out plates for you all to eat; you were actually glad you made a little more than expected this time. It was enough to feed all three of you. Junmyeon had followed you inside the kitchen and whispered, "He's...tough company. I guess now I understand why you're the way you are." You placed your hands on the counter. You had just about enough of his mouth already. If it wasn't for him, this evening would've started out smoother and you would've been having dinner with your father. Your hand started to shake as you felt both rage and panic. So many things could happen and you had to keep every tear that was threatening to escape your eyes exactly where they were. "That is it. Kim Junmyeon, if you do not make this evening go by as smoothly as possible I will single handedly destroy everything in your life. Do. You. Understand. Me?" "I'm sorry Y/N. I didn't mean to insult-" "Everything you do to me is on purpose. You purposely try to annoy me and you're being a prick even now. This dinner is important, very important and everything would've started off great if it wasn't for you. I can not afford to disappoint that man in there my-" You stopped yourself. You couldn't say your life depended on it. You didn't know if that were true or not. You knew your father would hurt you, he'd hit you, beat you and you'd just take it. He was the only one that you couldn't fight back against. You both hated and loved him and it was so twisted you couldn't breathe right when he was around. Everything had to be how he liked it, how he wanted it. He was the Sargent, you were the soldier and no screw ups were allowed. "Nothing can go wrong tonight. So please, be on your best behavior, be respectful and above all do not insult him." Junmyeon stepped closer to you. He looked behind him and then back to you. He said in a low voice. "Why are you afraid of him?" Tears tried to brim but you held it together. No one else outside of Minseok saw how hard you struggled with being around your father. No one else ever saw this kind of fear on your face. You balled your hands into fists so they wouldn't shake anymore. Junmyeon noticed and reached down to grab your hand. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He looked up at you with the same expression, he was staring you in the eyes and you gradually started to calm down. You didn't calm down because of him but he was starting to make you feel better. You weren't sure why though. "I'll be on my best behavior Y/N. I promise." He said. He was so genuine that it confused you. He kissed the back of your hand like he was sealing a deal. "Thank you." you said. "Young man, come here." Your father called from the other room. "You better go, he's not a patient man." You said. He nodded and excused himself. You felt oddly like you could trust him even if it was just for tonight. It was a change of pace considering how you always viewed him as a bother. While he was talking to your father, you set the table the way you knew it was meant to be set. It took your father and Junmyeon a few minutes to talk and you were finished setting the table and even putting their portions on their plates. You didn't know whether or not you should come out but you knew it was time to tell them to come eat. You took a chance and stood by the door way to the kitchen. Your hands clasped together in front of you and you stood with your legs pressed together and your back straight. You spoke in a soft almost childish voice, like you were a five year old little girl trying to break up a conversation to ask for ice cream. "The table is set for dinner, if you're all ready to eat." You said. Junmyeon and your father looked to you just as they were walking back down the hall towards the kitchen. Your father must've taken Junmyeon with him during his home inspection. There was a look on Junmyeon's face that you couldn't place. You had no idea what it was saying but it didn't reveal what happened during their conversation. Junmyeon stood up with your father and they both headed for the kitchen table. You caught Junmyeon's wrist the last minute and looked up at him scared. He gave you a soft smile and touched your cheek. For the first time since you two met, it actually seemed like he cared. You didn't even know he knew how to be gentle. He had changed his manners so quickly, acting was his strong suit. Junmyeon took his seat and you took yours next to your father. All three of you blessed your food before you started to eat. Your father started speaking first. "Your home is well put, there good order." he said. "Thank you papa." "I noticed you got a B in your finances class. You couldn't do any better?" "I was under a lot of stress that semester papa." "Were you seeing that boy at the time?" "Yes papa." "This is why I keep telling you that you don't need distractions. If you're going into business you need to be better at finances than everyone else." He said. "I passed the class papa, I will still get my degree." He scoffed, "Dont be so stupid. It's more than just getting a degree Y/N. If you're going be worth half the effort I went through to get you in proper order you need to excel at everything. B's aren't going to cut it. Not when there's someone else out there doing better than you." Your eyes shifted to Junmyeon. Junmyeon always liked to act like he was smarter than you. That annoyed you, you were starting to understand why you two were always at odds, at the very least why you had such a problem with him. You hated that he would always purposely annoy you and you hated even more that he had to prove he was smarter than you. You tried your hardest to be the best at what you did. It was what your father expected of you. He wouldn't settle for anything less. That's what pissed you off about Junmyeon, no matter how hard you tried it was almost like he was an agent of your father, there to remind you that you weren't enough. "Well, now that she's single and she has another financial class to take she should be much better. As long as she has the knowledge, she doesn't need to know everything, right? She can just pay someone to do that" Junmyeon smiled at you. "Someone that's better at it than her?" your father asked. "Well now, Y/N's much too smart to hire someone smarter than her." "The people she'll have working under her must have grade school knowledge then. You'll never last if you're not at the top." Your father said. "Do you truly believe you daughter is that useless? That she's that stupid?" Junmyeon sounded baffled by your father's words but they were nothing new to you. He was always this harsh. You thought it was his way of tough love. His way to make you better was to make it seem like you weren't enough, that you had to try harder. You had to be better than everyone else. "My daughter was foolish enough to let her affection for someone else screw with her grades. I'd hate to see that same foolishness follow her into the real world where she holds other lives in the palm of her hand. I will not raise a destructive daughter." "You mean like Mom was?" You whispered. Even though it was under your breath, he heard you anyway. He stood up and hovered over you fuming. There it was, he'd lost his temper. "What did you say?" You shriveled up in your chair already flinching from his possible attack. That's what this was all about really. He didn't want you to become your mother. As far as he could see it, she ruined his life when she left him. She ruined his life when she left you alone with him. The one thing that connected the two of them that he couldn't give up. All the anger he had towards her might've been the real reason why he abused you. You were a reflection of her but your mother was tough, you were just a little girl in a young women's body right now. You just wanted to survive the night. You didn't mean to say what you said. Not if it meant he'd hit you. "You pathetic girl!" He pushed you so hard you fell out of your chair and onto the floor. Flashes of when you were a child trying to hide from him during these rages raced through your mind. Your body reacted by trying to scurry away and huddle. You couldn't be bothered with how pathetic you might've looked in front of Junmyeon. "How dare you bring that woman up!" He followed you and grabbed your wrist to pull them away from your face. "I'm sorry papa!" You cried. "You little witch. After all I've done to get you here. I have told you to never mention that woman EVER! You can't do anything right can you! Stupid little bitch!" "That's enough!" Junmyeon yelled. Your father looked back at him and you covered your face in the corner of the kitchen trying your hardest not to sob. "Don't you dare put your hands on her again." He demanded. "She's my daughter. I'll do what I damn well feel is fit for her punishment. She could be worth something one day. She could be powerful, yet all she can do is focus on dating and just passing. She's not trying hard enough. All you can do is quiver in a corner like a little girl. I don't know why I keep hoping you'll stop being such a pathetic worthless child. You're nothing but a disappointment. " "She's your daughter. You're flesh and blood." Junmyeon argued. "That's an unfortunate fact for the both of us it would seem." Your father stormed off and you heard the door slam shut. Junmyeon made his way over to you. He placed his hand on yours and you jumped just out of reflexes. Junmyeon stopped and stared at you, your face was tear stained and your eyes were red. The tears wouldn't stop now that your father was gone, you were sobbing hard and uncontrollably. Junmyeon looked hurt just having to see you this way. "Come on, let me help you up." He said gently. You finally took his hand and he helped you up off the floor. He took you out of the kitchen and sat you on the couch. Now that your father was gone, the tense atmosphere was starting to dissipate but you were still in pain. Your cheek ached and it only reminded you of how you and Heechul broke up. Did you make a slight allowance for him because you were used to this kind of treatment? Junmyeon left your side to go back in the kitchen and after a few moments he returned with a small bag of ice covered in a paper towel. He placed it where your father had smacked you. He tried to be gentle with your bruising face even when you winced. You flinched more because it was cold than because it hurt. You looked down at your hands while he treated you. "I'm sorry." Junmyeon said softly. "It's not your fault it's mine. I shouldn't have mentioned my mother." "You can't take the blame for his actions. It'll drive you crazy, trust me." He said. You reached up to take the ice from his hand and held it on your face. Junmyeon reached for your free hand and laid his on top of yours. Your eyes hung low and sad. They were soft and filled with pain, silent tears rolled down your cheek as you stared back at him. Junmyeon reached up to your face to brush the tears gently off your face. "Why don't you come back to my place?" He said. "Why?" "I don't think you should be alone right now and as you remember we've got your annoying cat over there. Besides, I have beer." He smiled at his own joke but he was right. You didn't want to be alone and you did want to see Lady again. You nodded and stood up with him. You placed the ice pack on the table. You didn't care if it melted there. Junmyeon held your hand and led you out of the house to head to his flat.... Boss Squad: @royalpandajedi @Fromblue2u @Queenpandabunny @marrickej33 @BBxGD @Starbell808 @MelissaGarza @liyahboon Fans: @elishafisher @JaxomB @EXOahjummafan @StefaniTre @Yugykookie97 @delanalw
J-Hope Spam Tuesday!!🙌🏻😍
Hello ARMY!!🤗 I know I am super late to this! Tuesday was spam day! So here is a spam of J-Hope gifs!!❤️ Enjoy! 💜 ❤️ 💜 Gosh I love this man!😍💜 *credit to the owner’s of the gifs* ❤BANGTAN ARMY TEAM❤: @Yugykookie97 @Mochiroon @QueenPandaBunny @MelissaGarza @HUMANWIZARD @agustdsaveme @chimchimsjams @kaylenne956 @kpopfan88 @Aliza1 @Kyla05 ❤ARMY TAGLIST❤: @amandamuska  @blessowmwago @BoyGroupKpop @Bxbybri @CleafeMaeObina @coolwolf13 @dalenalw @echoxsoul  @gabstar143  @Gracebug @HannahC19 @herreraletecia  @HomegirlG  @ifitnessvn @Ilovephases @izzybell1202 @jennyfer1111r1 @jiminiebae @jkenshayla @jungkookieeeee @Just2BLoved @kaylawalker929  @kaylenne956 @krissynormam @kpopfan88 @Kyla05 @MelissaGarza @Mochiroon @Nyxxonn @PANDABTS @QueenPandaBunny @rebeccariley52 @rodrickagardne @Rose2demhaters @samcorsam @simpsonsamantha @Shelbeigh19 @shellyfuentes70 @soobak @Starbell808 @szewwy @Taekookimonster  @Tiffiedannie @wolfyplayzyv @yukigintokie    *let me know if you want to be apart of the ARMY taglist* K-Monsta Squad: @Yugykookie97 @BBxGD @lilbr0wneyes @DefSoul1994 @KpopGaby @MYAlpha @BangtanGirlOT12 Tag List: @cagonzales9696 @MonieManhiM @cherriblossom17 @SimplyAwkward @Btsislife @jaselgalindo @emealia @saraortiz2002 @xsandos17 @VictoriaBossier @TaehyungKey @Sarahdarwish @kpopandkimchi @Emealia @terenailyn @MonAnnahiX @4dalientae @PrettieeEmm @kyokeo @KwonOfAkind @AnimeKpopLover @SugaOnTop  @QueenyCrossGene @MadAndrea @B1A4BTS5ever @zyxzj @Taehyungie @VKookie47 @NuXX @Baekyeol27 @DOislifeExoL @kpopbeat @BulletproofV @PrincessUnicorn @luna1171 @LisetteZapata @herreravanessa9 @MadAndrea @AnimeKpopFreak @amandamuska @RandomName @aliendestina @mrsyookihyun @MaelstromVIP @Foxxyjinxx @Bangtanss @YessicaCardenas @JadeOwens @cns1391 @JJiBin @TheEnlightment @BlueMoon201 @QueenPandaBunny @emberreynemoll @LacyTanner @nyxxonn @SweetDuella @MmIlk @KihyunA @ARMY4Life @SerenaArthurs @Additional18 @jessicaclove  @olive07354  @YungStatin  @nickij @Mochiroon @LiyahBoon @BoyGroupKpop @blessowmwago @Lesha @jkenshayla @Kpoplover2016 *Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged from the tag list*
J-Hope Mood Board Monday!!💛💚☀️
Hello ARMY!!🤗 I apologize for being super late to posting this card! I’ll try to catch up with all the ones I’ve missed! Enjoy these mood boards of our sunshine Hobi!💛💚 💜 ❤️ 💜 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 I hope you all liked them!💛💚 *please do not use my mood boards* *credit to the owner of the gif* ❤BANGTAN ARMY TEAM❤: @Yugykookie97 @Mochiroon @QueenPandaBunny @MelissaGarza @HUMANWIZARD @agustdsaveme @chimchimsjams @kaylenne956 @kpopfan88 @Aliza1 @Kyla05 ❤ARMY TAGLIST❤: @amandamuska  @blessowmwago @BoyGroupKpop @Bxbybri @CleafeMaeObina @coolwolf13 @dalenalw @echoxsoul  @gabstar143  @Gracebug @HannahC19 @herreraletecia  @HomegirlG  @ifitnessvn @Ilovephases @izzybell1202 @jennyfer1111r1 @jiminiebae @jkenshayla @jungkookieeeee @Just2BLoved @kaylawalker929  @kaylenne956 @krissynormam @kpopfan88 @Kyla05 @MelissaGarza @Mochiroon @Nyxxonn @PANDABTS @QueenPandaBunny @rebeccariley52 @rodrickagardne @Rose2demhaters @samcorsam @simpsonsamantha @Shelbeigh19 @shellyfuentes70 @soobak @Starbell808 @szewwy @Taekookimonster  @Tiffiedannie @wolfyplayzyv @yukigintokie    *let me know if you want to be apart of the ARMY taglist* K-Monsta Squad: @Yugykookie97 @BBxGD @lilbr0wneyes @DefSoul1994 @KpopGaby @MYAlpha @BangtanGirlOT12 Tag List: @cagonzales9696 @MonieManhiM @cherriblossom17 @SimplyAwkward @Btsislife @jaselgalindo @emealia @saraortiz2002 @xsandos17 @VictoriaBossier @TaehyungKey @Sarahdarwish @kpopandkimchi @Emealia @terenailyn @MonAnnahiX @4dalientae @PrettieeEmm @kyokeo @KwonOfAkind @AnimeKpopLover @SugaOnTop  @QueenyCrossGene @MadAndrea @B1A4BTS5ever @zyxzj @Taehyungie @VKookie47 @NuXX @Baekyeol27 @DOislifeExoL @kpopbeat @BulletproofV @PrincessUnicorn @luna1171 @LisetteZapata @herreravanessa9 @MadAndrea @AnimeKpopFreak @amandamuska @RandomName @aliendestina @mrsyookihyun @MaelstromVIP @Foxxyjinxx @Bangtanss @YessicaCardenas @JadeOwens @cns1391 @JJiBin @TheEnlightment @BlueMoon201 @QueenPandaBunny @emberreynemoll @LacyTanner @nyxxonn @SweetDuella @MmIlk @KihyunA @ARMY4Life @SerenaArthurs @Additional18 @jessicaclove  @olive07354  @YungStatin  @nickij @Mochiroon @LiyahBoon @BoyGroupKpop @blessowmwago @Lesha @jkenshayla @Kpoplover2016 *Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged from the tag list*
Trauma Ch.5
Who: Reader x Kim Junmyeon What: Angst, Romance, Smut Story: You're just two trauma filled people trying to live normal lives... but trauma is a bitch Y/N's POV When you woke up in Junmyeon's room, you were a little disoriented. Your stomach was a little unsettled and at best you could remember Junmyeon bringing you back to his place. You remember having Lady sitting on your lap and drinking with Junmyeon for a little bit. The rest slipped off into darkness. You were completely clothed so you didn't really think you and Junmyeon did anything but you had the distinct feeling that something happened between you two. You just couldn't place your finger on it. Then, Junmyeon admitted you had explained things to him. Of course you said something while you were drunk. You felt stupid. It wasn't until he said that his father tried to kill him that you stopped resisting. He told you he'd explain his side since you told your side. You were about to find out something so secret about Kim Junmyeon it was almost unnerving but it was your chance. You were finally going to be able to understand why he acted the way he did. Maybe it would explain why he treated you certain ways. You agreed to hear him out. He gave you the chance to get yourself together first. You knew that just meant he didn't want to talk about it at his flat with Minseok and Jongin. You could understand that, besides your morning breath was annoying you and you needed to get Lady back to the house. You just hoped your father didn't randomly show up to talk about what happened last night. You didn't want to talk about it with him of all people. After you got yourself dressed and your morning routine was done, you sent Junmyeon a text. He ended up meeting you close to fifteen minutes later and you both walked in silence for a moment. You wanted to ask him what the story was but you also didn't want to be rude. You couldn't remember if he asked you or not last night. You wouldn't put it past yourself to just start talking when you're in that state of mind. You didn't get seriously drunk often, you liked a nice buzz to relax you but last night you were embarrassed and hurt and you wanted to forget. So, that mission was accomplished. Junmyeon seemed like he was lost in his own train of thought and you partly wondered if that meant he no longer wanted to tell you what happened. You both ended up at a cemetery; you stopped at the entrance when he walked in. He turned back around to see you staring at the graves to the side. He walked back over to you and held out his hand to you. You kind of felt like a child being offered a hand by a guardian. You took his hand anyway and he led you through the graves until you both stopped in front of one with that looked like an award from school more than a headstone. A rose that was wilted laid at the base. Junmyeon released your hand and walked up to the headstone and placed his hand on the top of it. "Hey mom...I'm back." He said. You looked at him hurt. You covered your mouth and let out a soft breath. His mother was dead. You could only imagine how it felt for him. Did he really understand what you went through as a child? Junmyeon looked back at you and said, "My mother died-- was killed when I was seven years old and the man who did it was my own father." You swallowed when he said that, it was scary to hear him say something like that happened to him when he was a child. It didn't seem to even slightly compare to what you went through. His seemed worse by a lot more. "Did you see it happen?" You asked. He shook his head, "My dad was really frantic that morning. He was always kind of rough around the edges, he was a real disciplinarian but that morning I knew something was really wrong. When I tried to run to my mom, he took me out of the house and packed me up in the car." He sighed heavy, like the weight of the events that took place where ready to cave in his chest. He sat down in front of the tombstone and leaned against it. You could see a hollowness in his dark brown eyes. Without the sun to illuminate them, they looked like black holes sucking in space. He almost looked like someone petrified and frozen in time by the fear. He continued his story with his eyes glued to the ground. "He yelled at me a lot that morning, especially because I was whining for my mom, then he just got oddly calm and told me that we'd all be together soon." There was a pause and his expression changed like he was questioning his father's actions right now. It was almost as if he was watching the whole memory play out and he was a ghost of the future making comments on the side lines. You partly wondered if he remembered he had you as an audience. "He drove us to this place we used to vacation at and he sat me down to talk to me. He was calm then, it was a normal conversation between a father and son but I could tell he wasn't himself. So when he left to go to the car, I decided to wander off. I walked for miles, I wasn't sure how long but there were some cops that saw me walking alone and started asking me where my parents were. I told them that my mother was at home and I didn't want to go with my dad. So, they took me to my place and it turns out my dad didn't even lock the door. So I ran up to my mom's room and that's when I found her- laying there," "Junmyeon stop." You said. Your heart was racing and tears had rolled down your face, you could hear the pain in his voice. He looked up at you and his eyes widened a little. You were sure he wasn't expecting you to be the one that cried. You knelt down to be on his eye level. He gave you a pained smile. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to relive it." you said. "Just listen... When they found my father, I was still with them. I didn't see him kill himself but I heard the gun shot. I saw his body hit the ground. My father's mental stability was so skewed he was planning to kill me too, the police were sure of it and then he probably would've killed himself. If I didn't run away I would be dead." "My father won't do that." You denied. "Y/N you've admitted he has bipolar disorder. I saw how he changed moods very quickly but I also know that he likes controlling you. I think he likes it because you look like your mother. It's his way of punishing her instead. He can control her by controlling you." "I'm not my mother Junmyeon." He touched your face tenderly, the brush of his finger tips on your face awakened your senses. He was close to your face, you felt your heartbeat trip over itself. It stopped and started again while he looked in your eyes. You saw something in his eyes you never thought you would've seen coming from him. "You're not your mother but I'm very scared that your father doesn't always know that. When his moods change, I don't think he can tell that the person he's trying to hurt isn't his ex wife and I am terrified that he'll end up doing to you what my father did to my mother." You were terrified of your father but you never had the nerve to keep him away. You acted more like him than you wanted to admit. When someone left you, you erased everything that connected you to them. You erased them from your life the way you erased Heechul from yours. You were even going to push Siwon and Ryeowook out because of what happened. You erased people and memories and that was exactly what your father did when your mother left. You were angry that your mother left you behind with him and she never gave you a reason why. "I come and talk to a stone as a way to feel closer to my mother. Are you going to make me talk to you that way too?" You smiled through some tears trying to change the mood. "You'd talk to me in death? I didn't know you cared." "Neither did I." He said seriously, "but I do and I know what that helplessness feels like. I saw how scared you were last night. I saw how hurt you were. My grandparents helped me with my PTSD and the fact that Minseok isn't trying to convince you to stay away from him pisses me off." "He's tried, I just don't listen." "Then listen now Y/N. Don't let him hurt you anymore. Just because he's blood doesn't mean you have to endure it." You shook your head. You wanted to break away from him, you had for years but he was your father. He was all you had, if you pushed him away maybe he would die like he said. Maybe it would make things worse and he'd show up at your place and kill you like Junmyeon had feared and maybe you got to go on with your life, maybe you'd be free of him but then you'd have no one left. You were more afraid to be alone than you were of dying and even as you thought that, you knew deep down it was illogical. You stood up and pulled Junmyeon up with you. You wiped your eyes and Junmyeon wrapped his arms around you to pull you into an embrace. You were surprised by it but you relaxed in his arms and heard the pounding of his heart. It sounded like it was running away. You looked up at him and he looked down at you. Your eyes locked and there was a moment you felt you may swoon just from the look in his eyes. The cemetery was still and the world followed with it. Junmyeon placed his hand on your cheek again, caressing it sweetly. His eyes started to follow the path his thumb took to feel your cheek. He bent his head an inch as if he were about to do something but stopped himself. Your eyes looked at his lips for a moment before they looked back at his eyes. You took in a shaky breath and pulled away from him. You pulled hair behind your ear as you cleared your throat, "Um, I will- I will try and...do what you said." Junmyeon cleared his throat and threw hands in his pockets. The moment had become awkward so suddenly. Junmyeon started to lead you out of the cemetery and decided to talk about something else. "So why was the cat at our place last night?" "My dad would've made a big deal about it. If I could pay for a cat then I could pay for my tuition too." "Oh." He sounded like he realized he made a mistake by asking that question because it all came back to your father's treatment of you. You were still shaken by Junmyeon's story and there was so much you wanted to ask him but you saw how hurt he was when he was talking about it. You couldn't fathom how much it hurt for him to tell you that story. "The funny thing is, I never bought the cat. My boyfriend at the time bought her for me." "Really? A whole animal he must've really loved you. I can't imagine why you two broke up." You chuckled, "He cheated on me." "Why is that funny?" He smiled oddly at you. "Because your comment sounded really sarcastic." He laughed with you and it seemed like the tension between you two had finally lifted. You both walked in silence for a little while without much of a destination in mind. You considered talking about your project but your project was about depression it didn't make sense to start a topic like that after everything that had been discussed. "So, I know it's probably not something either of us wants to talk about right now but I just have to know," you stopped in front of him, "Now that we know these things about each other...Where do we go from here?" Junmyeon looked like he didn't really know what to say. You were in the same boat but things were different now. He knew something about you that only Minseok knew and you knew something about him you were sure no one else close to him knew. How did it get to this? The two of you couldn't get along often, you competed to see who was smarter than the other and you were both... empathizing with each other. "Well you know something about me and I know something about you, now we've got leverage over each other." "I'm being serious Junmyeon." "Serious? Okay- seriously speaking, I think we should take the time to understand each other and watch what we say. You only annoy me some of the time but I know that some of the things I've done to piss you off on purpose could've really triggered you. I know better now." "I can handle that." You said. He grinned like he was about to say something but he didn't. There was nothing much left to say so you two stopped by a diner to get lunch and then went your separate ways. The conversation between you two was relaxed, it was the first time you two were around each other for a long period of time and neither one of you fought. Although, the competitive nature between you two didn't disappear you both found ways to compete in a healthy way. Junmyeon had to leave for his night shift which left you going back home. The silence of home, even with Lady running about, was no longer comforting though. Your mind jumped back to your father pushing you down and hitting you in front of company. Junmyeon never would've seen it happen if he hadn't shown up or if your father didn't invite him in....or if you hadn't mentioned your mother. You laid down on the couch, you knew full well you had homework but you didn't want to move from where you were. Saying you'd run away from your father was one thing but doing it was another. You couldn't help but think about how brave Junmyeon was for leaving his father and trying to make his way back home to his mother. He was only seven, you were ten and couldn't manage the idea of leaving your dad. You were older and couldn't manage it now. Your phone rang and the collar idea read "Father". You didn't want to answer it, you shouldn't have but-you did. You placed the phone to your ear but didn't say anything for a second. You almost thought to hang up but you finally mustered the ability to say, "Hello." "Y/N." It sounded like he was crying on the other end. These calls were too routine, you knew everything that would be said and what would end up happening. It was the same story with the same predictable ending. You really wanted to listen to Junmyeon and cut him off but you didn't know how without the big fall out. You felt as if you were damned if you do and damned if you don't because either way, your father knew where you lived and he wouldn't let up. "Please don't hate me ttal, I'm sorry." He whined. The sound of his crying was almost sickening to you. "I don't hate you papa." You said softly. You just hated that he hit you. You hated that he scared you and manipulated you. You hated that Junmyeon might be right, even if your father might not mean to kill you, it's possible he might kill you on accident. You heard him cry and say, "Please forgive your papa. I'm so sorry." "It's okay papa." Your tone said that you weren't interested. You'd seen him cry before. You knew how bad his disorder got when he didn't take his meds. If you asked him about it he'd lash out again. You didn't want to deal with that. You didn't really want to care. You were sure you didn't but you wanted to avoid more trouble. "Is your friend going to tell the police what I've done? I'll never be able to see you again. You won't come and visit me." He said. "Papa, nothing is going to happen to you....Papa," You wanted to say it, to tell him you needed some space. Your hand shook a little as you thought it. You didn't want to make him angry but that was the issue. You didn't want to do anything to alter his mood any more than it already was. You wondered how long it would be before he was overly happy again. Those were the days you tried to make yourself remember when your father lost his temper. When he took you and Minseok out for ice cream and he held your hand, you two were actually smiling and having fun. His highs always followed with lows that were painful for you to endure. It seemed worse when he didn't take his medication. "Y/N? Are you there honey?" He asked. You came back to reality and said, "Um, Papa you should schedule a doctor's appointment to get a stronger medication." "I'm fine, I was just angry. I don't need medication." He still sounded distraught but he wasn't angry. You didn't want to push him even harder. What were you supposed to do? You sat on the phone with him in silence for a while before you made up an excuse that you had to get your school work done. You had work in the morning and class right afterwards so you didn't have time to linger on the phone any longer. He let you go, apologizing again and telling you he loved you. You hesitated when he said that and he called your name to see if you were still on the other end. "I love you too papa." You said. "Good. You're a good girl." You could imagine a faint smile forming on his face. It was a sad pathetic smile that didn't mean much. You wondered if you had always felt this way about your father. It would make sense if you did, that deep down somewhere inside of you, you really dispised him but because he was all the family you had, you convinced yourself to push it down. Even after you hung up the phone, you kept thinking about what Junmyeon said to you. The fact that his father would've really killed him was terrifying and it was even scarier that he was only seven when it happened. It made you think about the real possibility that maybe one day your father's temper would get out of hand. You had to ask yourself the question, was that the real reason behind why you were so terrified of your father. Deep down, were you always afraid he may kill you? Boss Squad: @royalpandajedi @Fromblue2u @Queenpandabunny @marrickej33 @BBxGD @Starbell808 @MelissaGarza @liyahboon Fans: @elishafisher @JaxomB @EXOahjummafan @StefaniTre @Yugykookie97 @dalenalw
Trauma Ch.2
Who: Reader x Kim Junmyeon What: Angst, Romance, Smut Story: You're just two trauma filled people trying to live normal lives... but trauma is a bitch Junmyeon's POV Junmyeon was deep asleep but he was wrestling with demons in his bed. He tossed and turned as his worst memories came to his mind in flashes that seemed too real, he was reliving the very thing that gave him PTSD. He was only seven when his father had put him in his old 1995 Honda accord. Junmyeon kept asking his father, "Where's Eomma?" But his father just shouted at him to shut up. The shouting didn't help, it just made him cry harder. Junmyeon knew something was wrong. He saw some blood on his father's clothes and he could feel the panicked atmosphere in the car. He didn't know what happened exactly but he knew it was something bad. Junmyeon kept crying for his mother, begging to see her and his father snapped and hit the breaks so hard it jerked Junmyeon forward. "I promise, you're going to see your mother soon. We'll be with her in a little while but we're going to go somewhere first." He said. "Where is eomma?" He cried Tears streamed down his sad innocent face. His cheeks had turned red and his lips trembled. His father reached back to pet his head, his only true act of consoling his son, and he smiled. "It's a surprise. We'll be there soon." Junmyeon remembered seeing the back of his father's head again. The flashes came faster in his nightmares but at the same time he could feel the horror of everything as if it were lasting for hours. Such horrible things a child should never have to see but he had endured. He found his mother's body back home when the police tried to return him to his mother. As if that wasn't enough, his father blew his brains out so he wouldn't have to go to jail. He didn't know why his father had killed his mother or himself, he had no idea why he wanted to kill him as well. The blood that covered the ground and the gun that dropped next to his body were pictures burned into his head. His grandfather tried to shield him from the media that wanted to report it, to keep him from becoming scarred by the situation but it had already affected him. His kidnapper was his father...at seven years old how was he supposed to comprehend that? Junmyeon woke up in a cold sweat, he shook off the jarring feeling and proceeded to get ready for school. He thought about how Y/N mentioned PTSD leading to depression. He had agreed to depression being their topic for the project but he agreed to it because he knew her motivation was Minseok. It was a topic he could be passionate about himself but he didn't want to talk about PTSD. He didn't want to dive that deep, he was fighting with his eagerness to be the best in everything he did and his inner demons. While he let the hot water run down his body in the shower, his hand started to shake. He almost felt panicked when he noticed it. He used his other hand to try and stop it. He massaged the hand but he felt anxiety whisp through his chest. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself. He knew why his hand was shaking though. It was his own form of PTSD that liked to show up especially when those memories came back to him. When they flashed through his mind to make him suffer, the memory of his dead mother and father and the funeral that came after it; the pain of going back into his empty house to get his things so he could live with his grandparents; those memories hurt. All his grandparents ever wanted was for him to be happy. All he wanted was to not be damaged. Therapy sessions went on from his early childhood years to his high school years. Any form of intense combat made him black out. Those episodes made his grandparents worry. He was put on medicine and from there he was struggling with feeling like a zombie. He did anything to feel, eventually using sex as his way to deal. Sex and drinking, but because of his medication he didn't get to drink often. While Y/N was right, PTSD caused depression as well, what most people didn't know was depression was more than thoughts of suicide. Junmyeon had never once thought about killing himself, in fact when his depression started to tear him down he tried to work twice as hard to keep his head up. His depression symptoms were more towards anger. He had a lot to be angry about. In high school, Junmyeon was popular. Girls loved him and he was in his own little gang at school. When he got into fights, he'd rage until he blacked out. When he came too, he wouldn't remember a thing. There was a fear inside of him that made him wonder if he'd become his father. He didn't want that to happen. If he had to be a zombie he'd do it but he'd find a way to operate like a normal human being. That's all Junmyeon wanted... to be normal. He hopped out of the shower and popped two pills in his mouth before he walked out of his room in his bath towel. He headed past the living room, seeing Jongin on the couch asleep and Minseok in the kitchen. "Morning." Minseok said. Junmyeon groaned while he raked his fingers through his hair. He went to the refrigerator to look for something to eat while Minseok said, "Rough night?' "Yeah, what else is new." "Hey I heard you and Y/N are working on a project together, is that true?" "Yeah why does it matter?" Junmyeon said. He knew he sounded irritated and tired but the last thing he wanted to do was talk about that girl. She was strange to him, she seemed to herself at times almost like she wasn't good enough to speak to anyone else. He hated the way she corrected him in some of their other classes. It's like they were always having a battle of wits. Who could out smart who? It annoyed him that she thought she was so much smarter than him, like he wasn't busting his ass off enough to get his education done. He despised how some people had things just come so naturally to them. No matter how irritated he was to be talking about her in the morning, he knew Minseok didn't deserve his attitude. Junmyeon was still waiting for his medication to kick in, he'd probably mellow out in ten minutes. "Just, be careful with her okay. She's kind of fragile." Minseok said. Junmyeon closed the refrigerator door a little harder than he meant to, it sounded like he had slammed it shut. He turned around to see Minseok looking at him concerned and Junmyeon just sighed with an eye roll. "What do you think I'm going to do with her? I just need to get a perfect grade on this project, it's the professor that put us together. Jackass. I just know he did it on purpose." "Look, I'm only asking because she's still recovering from her break up-" "What does that have to do with me?" "Well, you're really rough around the edges when you're around her. I'm only asking you to be polite. You don't have to like her Junmyeon. You don't know her like I do but she's -going through a tough time right now. She's kind of lost." Minseok sounded like he really cared about her. Junmyeon wondered if he liked her or something. He was aware they had been friends for some years now, since grade school if he was remembering right. He understood a little why he'd want him to be nice to her. It seemed like a bother but because it was Minseok asking he'd do his best to be nice to her. "Fine. I'll tolerate her. We didn't kill each other last night so I think we can make it through this project." "Thanks!" Minseok said. Junmyeon had already started heading back to his room so he could get dressed. He didn't find anything in the kitchen that he wanted so he figured he'd go out instead. There was a Starbucks a few blocks away from the flat he could go to. He didn't like going there for the coffee, there was a barista there he liked to hit on. It might make him feel better by getting attention from her. He used to worry about being a narcissist but if he was, it wasn't enough to be diagnosed with a complex. So he was just conceited to some extent. Junmyeon stood in line rocking back and forth while trying to settle his mind on something else. He saw the barista busy making drinks as always, after he ordered his drink he could go over there and chat her up. The line moved slow today because she was the only one on the shift making drinks. He might not be able to speak to her long. She would slow down to talk to him though, she always did. Junmyeon noticed someone with short brown hair walk to the counter to wait for their drink. He kept staring at her because she looked familiar. When he moved up in the line to finally see their profile, he realized it was Y/N. She was talking to the barista with a big smile on her face. She looks better when she smiles. He thought. He had finally gotten a chance to make his order and headed over to the counter to speak with the barista. He thought he would be funny so be bumped into Y/N. When she looked up at him with her mouth a jar, he said, "Geeze watch where you're standing would you." Her brows furrowed. Clearly, she wasn't amused. "Someone with your level of intelligence should know that's a childish move Kim Junmyeon." she said. "Ew what are you full naming me for? Why are you always so informal? I'm older than you." She chuckled, probably because it sounded like he was whining. She rolled her eyes though and looked at the barista. "Hyojin-eonni can you add ice in Minseok's you know how weird he is about that." She said. "Sure." She laughed. Junmyeon looked from the barista to Y/N, "You're going to see Minseok?" "Yeah," she reached for her coffee that Hyojin set on the counter for her, "thanks." "Why didn't he tell me?" "I don't know, you don't like me anyway so what does it matter? He's never told you before right?" "Yeah, I guess you're right but he could've at least told me you were stopping by here." She laughed while she sipped her coffee. She licked her lips of the foam that slipped through the mouth piece. "You really need to try that hard to avoid me?" She giggled. Something about that giggle startled him a little. He stared at her and her eyes widened in wonder. Junmyeon cleared his throat and looked at Hyojin. He started chatting with her when Y/N gasped with an air of excitement. It caught both his and Hyojin's attention. She opened her arms and hugged a man taller than her, he had slight creases in his cheeks as he smiled, very close to being dimples and bushy eyebrows. Hyojin had called Minseok's order and Y/N thanked her before turning back to the guy in front of her. "It's only been three months and I feel like it's been three years. Where's Wookie oppa?" "He stayed at home with Heechul." "Oh so they've got you doing the grunt work." She laughed. He sighed dramatically, "Always. Looks like you got stuck with it too." "Oh yeah but I offered." She turned to get the cup but Junmyeon grabbed it up just to be annoying. She looked at him confused and held out her hand for the cup. Junmyeon kept it close to him and said, "I can take it back to him if you want to stay here with your boyfriend. I'm sure Minseok won't mind if you're late or if you don't show up." She crossed her arms annoyed, "Minseok or you?" "I was only trying to help." He grinned. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the man she was speaking to. "By the way Siwon, when's the last time you saw Minseok anyway? " "Oh we text every now and again but neither me or Ryeowook have come by because of-" He stopped short in his response and she smiled politely and laughed. She touched his arm gently and rubbed it which gave Junmyeon goosebumps. Maybe he was a narcissist, because he was annoyed that she had never treated him that way. Why was there such an instant dislike between them when they first met? He was trying to remember how they first met. Minseok had invited her over to their place. Junmyeon had moved in just recently and they were talking on the couch. He couldn't remember what he'd over heard but she was really giddy and very close to Minseok. Junmyeon remembered she was cautious around him and he was a little annoyed by that because it wasn't like he was going to hurt her. She probably wasn't even thinking that. He did remember she shut down just as soon as Junmyeon came in the room like whatever they were talking about was a secret. He could tell she didn't want him in the room but didn't want to say it because it would be rude. Junmyeon was stubborn enough to stay anyway. Minseok never hinted that Junmyeon should leave so he didn't. Maybe that's how his dislike of her started. He could understand if she wanted to keep somethings between Minseok and her but the cold shoulder seemed unnecessary and annoying. He was used to getting attention from a girl, if he wanted it he could get it and clearly Y/N didn't agree. "Well, I know what I said but, maybe we could catch up sometime. Maybe accidentally run into each other at a movie?" she spoke. The big grin and suggestion in her voice annoyed Junmyeon. He forgot he was holding onto Minseok's coffee and he forgot that Hyojin had slid his coffee on the counter. He didn't even flirt with her because he was paying attention to those two. Siwon chuckled and said, "Maybe we could meet on neutral grounds." "Movie night at Seok's?" "If he's okay with it." "I'll throw the suggestion his way." she grinned. "You may want to remember that we have a big project to worry about. There's no time to get distracted by old flames." Junmyeon cut in. His voice sounded a little bitter but he kept his calm face as she looked back at him. She scoffed, "You're one to talk. Didn't you just come here to hit on Hyojin? You've been listening to our conversation this whole time, you could've left Minseok's coffee and been about your business by now." "Why are you so rude to your oppa?" He teased. She rolled her eyes. Siwon had a grin as he scratched the side of his face Junmyeon couldn't tell if he was amused by their banter or if he felt awkward for having to witness it. She turned back to him and he chuckled softly before lifting her chin gently and he said, "I'm really glad to see you smiling again. Wookie misses you. He still hasn't completely forgiven Heechul and Heechul can tell." "Life's too short to stay angry at him for that. Besides it wasn't entirely his fault." "Well the majority of it was his and he knows it. What he did was wrong." "He doesn't care Siwon. You know him better than anyone and all of you told me to stay away from him. If anything I'm the moron that didn't listen. " "Aish!" Siwon chuckled and wrapped his arms around her. "You're not a moron, just a sweet little knuckle head." He held her arms as he looked down at her. "He didn't deserve you." She smiled big and Junmyeon bit his lip. Why was this whole interaction annoying him? If she could smile that easily at Siwon, why was she so different with Junmyeon? Why was it that he seemed to annoy her? What did he ever do to deserve that cold shoulder in the beginning? She was a damn good actress, this Siwon guy seemed to really like her and Minseok treated her like she was always a victim. She didn't seem like a victim to Junmyeon. He wanted to stop listening to the conversation but his feet wouldn't move. Her watch started to beep and she checked it, noticing the time. "Ah damn, I was supposed to be at Minseok's ten minutes ago. He hates it when I show up late." "Yeah you make a good habit of it whenever we hang out." He laughed. Siwon reached to move a piece of hair that was sticking up at the top of her head. It was a smooth effortless movement that she probably thought nothing of it. She even pulled her hair behind her ear before she gave Siwon one last hug. She turned to Junmyeon and asked for Minseok's drink. Junmyeon didn't feel like bothering her anymore. He handed her the drink and she was polite enough to say thank you but he noticed a brighter smile on her face when she said goodbye to Hyojin and Siwon. He stood there watching her leave feeling odd in inside. There was a twinge of jealousy he didn't know where it was stemming from but he could feel it. He thought about Minseok's request this morning. He said that she was recovering from a break up. From what they were talking about, that Heechul guy must've been the one she dated. She didn't seem like she was very hurt though. Minseok did know her better than he knew her so maybe he could tell she was faking. From Junmyeon's point of view she seemed alright though. Siwon had gone about his business and didn't seem to find interest in him at all. Something about that bugged him too, considering how Y/N treated him maybe it occured to him that he wasn't something for Siwon to worry about. Maybe I'm being a little too conceited. He thought. He didn't play a big part in Y/N's life. When she came to the flat, he usually wasn't there. Even though Junmyeon and Minseok were friends, they didn't always hang out with the same people. They had very separate lives and that was becoming way more apparent to him now than he had ever realized. Junmyeon didn't feel like heading home since he knew Y/N was there. As much as he did get a kick out of annoying her, he didn't have the energy for it and he was sure Minseok wouldn't have it. There was no point in going there to do that anyway. He didn't want to make it seem like he was obsessed with her. He didn't care much about her anyway; he was bored and he was trying to distract himself from his night memories. He wanted to forget the horror and pain that they caused him. Even though he thought Y/N was a pretty good actress, he could out do her performance too. He had his own trauma to deal with and he'd become a master at pretending everything was fine. Medication may have had a part in that but he put in some work as well. Junmyeon thought to call Seohyun and see what she was doing. He was pretty sure she had a shift going on at the moment so maybe he could meet her on her lunch break for a quick fix. Seohyun was kind of annoying though, she either wanted spontaneous sex or she wanted everything on a schedule. Her mood seemed to switch up and Junmyeon found that kind of difficult. He was alright with dating her but he sensed she wanted something more from him that he just wasn't willing to offer. He only really cared about getting his degree, everything else was either a simple pleasure or an annoying burden. He didn't care much about anything else. After Junmyeon called Seohyun to see if she was up for a visit, he headed to a place no one in the school expected to see him at. The cemetary. He grabbed a rose from a center piece inside the main building and headed to the tombstone he wanted to see. He placed the rose at the base of the stone and sat down in front of it with a sigh and said, "Hey mom, long time no see." Boss Squad: @royalpandajedi @Fromblue2u @Queenpandabunny @marrickej33 @BBxGD @Starbell808 @MelissaGarza @liyahboon Fans: @elishafisher @JaxomB @EXOahjummafan @StefaniTre @Yugykookie97