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I'm Ashamed of My Hometown
San Diego, get your shit together. Each year at the Padres stadium, Petco Park, the LGBT society in SD holds an event called "Out at the Park" that is meant to bring the community together for an evening of baseball. This year, Petco Park really, really screwed up. The San Diego Men's Gay Chorus was meant to sing the national anthem before the game to represent the LGBT community for this event. Their voices were never heard. The stadium let them take the field, and then as they were about to sing, a recorded female voice instead sang the anthem (which, if you've been to a Padres game, isn't something that happens - we always have live singing) The men had to walk off the field hearing people shouting profane, homophobic things at them. The Padres said it was a mistake, a technical error, a third party contractor, and that they were sorry. But that doesn't explain the other examples of mistreatment. Days prior to the game, the Padres organization told the performers that the chorus would have to pay for their tickets in order to sing. This is not something that happens, ever. If you perform the national anthem, you get to enter the park for free, DUH. Why did the Padres suddenly want this now? That would have cost the small organization thousands of dollars, and after dispute they were finally allowed in as performers. You can listen to their great voices here when they performed in 2015. It's a pity their voices weren't heard this year. Get it together Padres, you're a disappointment in baseball but don't be a disappointment to your entire community.
How To End Disney Movies In 30 Seconds
Classic Disney movies all roughly fell into a similar formula. The main character fell in love, wanted the other character to fall in love with them too, had a huge secret, and well, the big reveal climax got all sorts of complicated. It's something that's worked for filmmakers and often satisfied the typical 90-minute film length. However, an artist has reimagined just how easy it would have been to end the main character's plight in 30 seconds or less. Movie: 'The Lion King' (1994) Plight: Scar kills Simba's dad; Simba goes on a soul-searching journey. Suggested Solution: Simba could have spared himself the journey and just tell everyone that Scar was the one who did it. While this makes for a pretty hilarious comic, Simba didn't actually know that Scar was the one who did it until he was much older and Scar confessed. So this one probably wouldn't have worked. Movie: 'Aladdin' (1992) Plight: The Genie says that Aladdin has three wishes, but he cannot wish for love, the resurrection of someone who died, or additional wishes. Suggested Solution: Aladdin wishes for lust, retroactive immortality, and 100 more genies. I... have never noticed how glaringly obvious the decision to wish for more genies was until now. Aladdin, why didn't you wish for more genies? Are you insane?! Movie: 'Cinderella' (1950) Plight: Prince Charming forgets who Cinderella is and hunts her down by trying to place her glass slipper on the feet of all the single ladies. Suggested Solution: Prince Charming asks her for her name and actually remembers what she looks like. How much of a doofus could you be, Prince Charming?! I mean, you spend a whirlwind romantic evening with a mysterious lady, and you don't even ask her what her name is? Movie: 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' (1937) Plight: The Evil Queen feeds a poisoned apple to Snow White, and she falls into a deep sleep. Suggested Solution: Snow White bribes the Queen's court attendants with the dwarfs' diamonds and gets the Evil Queen locked up. Am I the only one who doesn't understand this one? How did Snow White figure out what the Evil Queen was up to? Is this post-apple or pre-apple? A girl's got questions. Movie: 'Mulan' (1998) Plight: Mulan fights for the Chinese military on behalf of her father - disguised as a dude. Suggested Solution: Mulan confesses to being a woman, wows her casual misogynist comrades with her epic pet dragon. This could probably work, but wasn't Mushu kind of a wimpy dragon? I've only seen 'Mulan' once, but I'm pretty sure those same dudes were making fun of him for being hella weak. Movie: 'The Little Mermaid' (1989) Plight: Ariel (a little mermaid) sacrifices her voice in exchange for legs in order to meet the hunky sailor she saved from drowning, struggles pretty hard in finding ways to communicate. Suggested Solution: Ariel finds a pen and paper and lets him know what's up. THIS IS THE MOST OBVIOUS SOLUTION OF ALL TIME. Remember when Ariel signs Ursula's contract? I mean, CLEARLY Ariel knows how to write. I'm shaking my head. Anyway, what do you guys think? Do you think you can come up with any others?
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