Who:Reader X Woo Jiho (Zico)
What: I don't even know y'all (I lied there's a lil angst sorry guys)
Story: You and your best friend Park Jihoon left America to be apart of the South Korean K-pop group called NTERNational. Two years have gone by and while the popularity of the group has grown you, as the only female of the group, have been starting to feel like you need to step up in order to get the group to the top. Good thing you meet the one rapper out there that challenges you to be the best...
The end of the song for Excuse me came with the boys hugging you on stage. You all had worked so hard to get this next song together and the best part about it was that it was completely dedicated to your brother. Mr. Kim was able to allow you to go to the funeral with Jihoon and you both paid your respects to Yoojung. You had finally cried and released everything that you had been holding in but quiet obviously it wasn't the last of your tears. You missed him so much and now the ring on your middle finger honored him. It was his ring, he loved it and wore it everyday. Your eldest brother gave it to you knowing Yoojung would've wanted you to have it. The ring was too big to fit your ring finger but you were able to get it to fit on your middle and you hadn't taken it off just like him. This ring made you cry sometimes but it kept you strong because it was like no matter where you went Yoojung was always with you.
Being on stage right now was a thrill, you were with your band mates and you guys had a lot of fun performing for the wide spread of fans you all had named Runways. You had already performed with Block B. The boys stepped into their places on the stage with Jihoon on your right and Haneul on your left. Heechul and Hae-il were standing at the top half of the stage elevated above you three. You stood in the middle and slightly in front of the boys making you the center of attention at this point. There was a mic stand that had come up from the secret spot that lowered you on and off the stage. You spoke into your hand held mic while fixing the ear piece that was falling out.
"Annyeong Runways!" you said.
The crowd screamed when you spoke up. You and the others were sweating all over from the intense dancing you just went through. You smiled as you gripped the mic stand, just before putting the mic into it's place you said,
"We're about to close the show out with one more song and it's a song that you've never heard before. This song was written quite quickly and I think it expresses a lot of what Jihoon and I were feeling when we found out about the death of my brother. There was a point where I came very close to quitting NTERNational but because of my band mates, because of my mentor Zico and because of all of you I was reminded of one of the most important things that my brother ever taught me. I have to keep fighting to prove to the world that I can make it. I've learned to fight even harder to make sure that my friends make it too. As their leader I do not want to fail them, so before we start this song,"
You turned to the boys,
"I love you all so much, thank you for putting up with me." you said with a tearful smile.
The boys smiled back not being able to move from their spots just yet but Heechul and Hae-il blew you a kiss. Haneul did move to give you a hug and went back to his spot then Jihoon came over to you quickly and hugged you, slightly picking you up as he did. You turned back to the audience to address them,
"Thank you Runways! I hope you enjoy this song."
It only started from a dream,
A joke around the fire, two friends with a vision
To perform on the stage everyone said you can't make it
You're just not good enough.
You told me to prove them all liars
Who needs their approval and negativity
when you could take the world by storm
now just look at me.
Now I'm standing at the center
microphone on blast
the whole crowd is into the rhythm
singing along with meaningful lyrics
I can hear your whisper saying 'you finally did it'
Those times when I didn't feel like I was a leader
Like I was failing and I should leave them
but your words told me not to give up
I look up heaven ward and think of your face
I wish I could've said it clearer
I love you bro.
to hear your voice say
'I'm proud of you little sis'
Damn I'm gonna miss you
but with this promise on my lips
I'm not going out of this rap game without
first putting my name in fame with you as our number one fan
in life and in death I perform for you
I hope you make every show and in heaven you're cheering on us.
I hope you're screaming name!
No matter how far we are
No matter where I go
you're my guardian angel
My number one fan
I hear you screaming my name
telling me I can do anything .
My guardian angel, never let go of my hand.
There were moment's I wanted to quit
Moments where I couldn't fight
I wanted to give up on such a dream
fade into the background of life
becoming something 'practical' as they say
but I sat day and night
coming up with lyrics of reasons to fight.
It was your spirit and your cheering
day in and day out, keep fighting
'I believe in you' was the best thing you could've ever said
Could've never gotten this far without your encouragement.
No matter how far we are
No matter where I go
you're my guardian angel
My number one fan
I hear you screaming my name
telling me I can do anything .
My guardian angel, never let go of my hand
Every second that was wasted
I just wanted time to stop
You were gone and everything felt like it was over now
I could cry and cry but I held it all inside
to make it to this stage.
I wanted you to see I could do it
push through it
I want to be enough
so that everyone is screaming NTERNational's name
I can finally say I did it
made you happy and proud
We've got this crowd screaming loud
I felt so empty, when I got that call that you were gone
But my friends were with me to push me through and through
time and time again, I wouldn't have been able to make it
without your encouragement.
G.O & Tiger
No matter how far we are
no matter where I go
you're my guardian angel
My number one fan
I hear you screaming my name
telling me I can do anything.
My guardian angel, never let go of my haaaaaaannnnnnnddddd!
By the end of the song, you had gone into tears singing the last part with so much feeling along side Jihoon. He was in tears too and the song was up beat too. The guys sang off of yours and Jihoon's feelings for your brother. It was hard to write at some points but there was nothing better than having your members support you in this song. Jihoon and the others hugged you, the beautiful colors of the background surrounded a picture of your brother, you and Jihoon. It had his birth year and this year, the year he died, right under it. Angel wings spread across the large screen and you cried a little harder seeing it. Jihoon hugged you and Haneul came over and hugged you tighter. You ended up burying your face in his chest and he patted your back while you held onto him. You ended up lifting up when Hae-il and Heechul got to you and they hugged you, Heechul kissing your cheek before bringing you into a deeper hug. The concert ended on a heart felt note that left everyone screaming NTERNational's name and it made you feel so proud. Zico greeted you once the platform lowered you all down from the stage and he gave you a hug.
"I'm so proud of you." he said.
"Thanks." you said.
There wasn't much left to do after that, though you were happy about the turn out of the concert you still felt sad. You had Yoojung's ring on your finger and you just felt like crying again. You guys had made it back to the studio just to kind of hang out for a little while but you ended up walking out while everyone was distracted. You walked to the bridge that over looked the water and looked out at the scenery before you. Everything was dark and the area was mostly dead, no signs of life except for a stray cat that passed by you and an occasional car driving past. You just looked out to the world and let your tears fall silently again,
"I'm sure he's proud of you."
You turned your head to see Haneul in his large sweat jacket, his hands in his pockets looking at you. His hair was now silver, done by his stylist and you couldn't help but think how good he looked with that color. He reminded you a little of Ikon's Junhoe when his hair was the frost color. You smiled at him while you wiped your eyes,
"You're probably right." you said.
"So what now leader? Where do you plan to lead NTERNational to now?" he asked.
He walked over to you to lean against the railing as well and looked out at the water with you.
"I don't know yet but you know me, I'm never without an idea for too long." you said.
"That's good, I don't think your brother would like it if you just quit now."
"No he wouldn't appreciate that very much." you said giving a small smile.
You could see from the corner of your eye that he looked your way. He took off his sweat jacket and put it around your shoulders.
"Oh Haneul you don't have to I-"
"I know, I just don't want you getting sick."
"What about you?" you said.
"Well if I get sick I can just blame it on you. Mr.Kim will make you take care of me." he smiled.
"I pretty much take care of all you boys already."
"You're right about that."
"All that training to babysit a bunch of men in eyeliner."
"If you didn't love us you wouldn't care." he joked.
"You've got a point."
You sighed and looked back out to the world. Things were silent between you two and you ended up pulling the jacket around you more to keep you warm. His scent was all over it and it was comforting. You had told both Zico and Haneul you wouldn't choose between them but you already knew you had. Most of it had been suppressed by you trying to logically figure out how to convince them it was a bad idea to get involved but you couldn't help who your heart pulled to, especially once you lost Yoojung. Jihoon had tried so hard to help you especially on the days where you just didn't want to get out of bed any more but it had been a mixture of Zico's words and Haneul's comforting arms that had pulled you out of bed. It kept you moving to the point that you could keep working on the song just for Yoojung even when every fiber of your being just wanted to fall apart. You turned to Haneul,
"Hanuel do you still- like me?" you asked.
He looked at you and nodded,
"Would you still like me- even if I didn't choose you." you asked cautiously.
He turned to you completely and placed a hand on top of your head.
"You're such a stupid girl you know that. I'd like you even if you said you hated me." he said.
He pressed his head against your forehead and you closed your eyes with your last tear for the night falling. His hand came up to your face and you could feel his thumb wipe away the tear that had fallen,
"One last time before you go to him." he whispered.
He kissed you, the soft intimate kiss that you were used to getting from him. It was deep and lingered longer, much longer than the others ever did. He knew if it was the last time it was going to be a moment he wanted to hang onto for a while and that's exactly what he did. He held onto it. When he pulled away slowly, your lips almost missed the contact that they had just received but you didn't ask for more. Things weren't supposed to get confusing again. You weren't going to Zico, not immediately anyway. You were going to wait a little while until this pain had left you. Until you could remember what it was like to get up in the morning excited for the day. Being next to Haneul who said he liked you, that he'd still like you even if you hated him, made you feel happy in a way. You couldn't imagine him not by your side. He was one of your favorite rappers that you had been battling with in the beginning but had become best friends with. You liked knowing that he was staying by you even if your feelings for him weren't returned completely. Had this been a while back, you probably would've jumped at the first sign of him liking you but you had become such good friends at this point it was hard for you to look past that and even more so, hard to look past the fact that he was your band mate. You still loved him in your own way though.
Haneul wrapped his arm around you and you leaned your head against his chest with your other arm wrapping around him. You sighed as you both continued to look out at the silent water ahead of you. Nothing could've been more calming than this.
Yoojung...I miss you. I don't think I'll ever stop missing you. I would've loved to hear your voice talk to me, I would've loved for you to have been at the concert tonight in person. I would've loved if you could hug me and smile at me and tell me that you were proud. Yoojung- I miss you- I love you...Please don't stop watching me.......
It wasn't the last voicemail you had left him but it was the first one that lead to you healing. The weeks that had gone by since you had been told of his death you had struggled between wanting to give up and trying to fight harder. The more you made music with the boys, the more they pushed you, the more you remembered that you needed to be strong in order to be a leader. However, the boys had told you the day that you revealed to them that you had reservations about being their leader that you didn't have to take that burden on alone. These guys were your family, your brothers and they didn't stop trying to help you as you tried to recover from your loss. You and Jihoon connected on another level far beyond what you already were if that were even possible. Digging deeper into your relationship as friends than you already had. Eventually.....the wounds began to heal over time.
*Eight months later*
"And six and seven, eight. one." you counted off steps in the practice room.
You and Jihoon had choreographed the dance steps to yours and Haneul's new song. Haneul was actually out for promotions at the moment but Zico was in the studio with you. He was actually featured in the song, Zico did more of the vocals than you or Haneul did which you preferred because you could focus on the rapping. It wasn't that you weren't good at singing, you had done a few covers of English songs over the past few months, some of them were songs Yoojung really liked. The covers got a lot of hits on Youtube when they were released. You were just more into rapping than using your singing talent. You weren't all that confident in your singing ability anyway. Every now and again you'd like to sing a tune but aside from the song you and the other members wrote after Yoojung's death you didn't really sing much in your other songs that were recorded. If someone listened close enough maybe they could tell your voice singing the chorus during live performances but your very rarely had anything to do with singing. Getting Haneul and Zico to operate under the same song and getting them to learn the dance moves was a lot easier now than it would've been months ago. There was still some tension between them or rather a rivalry between them. Not so much as them trying to fight over you but Haneul made it very clear if Zico ever broke your heart he'd probably break his face. Not to mention Haneul and you were both competing to be better than Zico. You had gone into the studio day and night with Haneul writing and producing songs trying to come up with something savage enough to put him to shame. Obviously it was nothing meant to discredit Zico as a rapper and it wasn't even to dish out a diss , it was more of proving your worth as rappers and that you couldn't even be compared to Zico because you both were unique separately and together.
"Jiho you're still like two steps behind me, when I'm on the eight count you're still on six. You should be on eight with me." you instructed slightly annoyed.
You always got tough when it came to teaching choreography. You were the same way with the boys, you were always on top of things. You paid attention to yourself and them. You were the queen of precision and you thought that was why Mr.Kim liked you so much because you kept the boys practicing for hours. He had a problem with the other groups he was managing because every time he stopped by the practice room it was like they were always sitting down. The breaks for NTERNational were usually minimal, unless you knew you were really running them down you never really gave them time to breathe. You were always on top of them just like you were on top of Zico right now.
"Sorry Y/N." He said looking you up and down.
You were slightly panting from the fast movements, yeah you were out of breath and a sweaty mess from working so hard. Zico's now redish- orange hair was sticking to his face from his sweat.
"What's wrong?" you asked him.
"You're kind of distracting me today." he said.
You looked at him oddly,
"What do you mean?" you asked.
"Your new practice outfit, it's- really- distracting." he said.
You looked down at yourself. You had a crop top that hugged your body, it showed off your abs and your sweat pants hung just a little lower than you intended but you had lost a little weight and they were starting to fall off. The top trim of your underwear poked out every now and again when the knot you tied on your sweatpants loosen as you danced. Other than maybe your stomach showing, you weren't really sure what he meant by your new practice outfit being distracting.
"What's wrong with it?" you asked.
"Nothing, it just makes me want to- you know." he looked you in the eyes with a little grin.
You narrowed your eyes on him and then scoffed as you turned away.
"We need to focus on one thing at a time Jiho." you said.
You knew exactly what he was referring to and you had only let him sleep with you twice since you two started seeing each other. The first time it hurt because- well it was your first time. He was very gentle and caring when he slept with you though. His hands caressed your body with care and touched so many intimate places that it embarrassed you. The second time he tried something a little different adding in an oral element which made you very embarrassed and shy. He thought it was cute but you felt slightly humiliated. Despite all of that, it still felt good most of the pain was gone and you could melt into the pleasure he was offering you. He said the next time he wanted to try it somewhere else and do it in a different position, which only made you nervous because you had no idea where he wanted it to be next. The first time was in his bed, while the rest of the group was out, you went to his dorm and he'd set the mood just right. He asked you if you were sure you were okay, if you were sure you were ready and then he went about his work when you gave him a confident confirmation. You felt like he was going to burst at any moment. He had made out with you a lot in the first few months of you two dating but you kept saying you weren't ready to have sex yet and he always held off for you. He just seemed like he was ready to pounce on you when you finally decided that maybe it was time for you to give in. You weren't really doing it because you felt pressured but at the same time you were scared and it made you hesitate a little, which was probably why he kept asking if you were sure you were ready.
Zico walked up behind you and placed his hands on your hips as you were jumping the song back to the beginning. He kissed the back of your neck gently as a bit of encouragement to sway you to his side.
"No Jiho, we need to get this done first." you said.
"Come on Y/N. How about just one kiss to keep me focused?" he said.
"You're going to pay attention now and stay focused and then you'll get your kiss. How about that?" you smiled at him.
"I love it when you take charge of me." he said.
You rolled your eyes with a chuckle and shooed him back into the proper place. You started the music and you two ran through the routine. When he seemed to fall behind, you started counting out loud for him so he could keep up. None of the back up dancers were even with you so the both of you were trying to move as if there were twelve other bodies in the room with you so that you were sure you were careful when you practiced with everyone. Once the dance was over, he came over to you quickly, spinning you around to face him and he kissed you. When he pulled away he smiled,
"Just what I've been waiting for." he said.
You shook your head at him. You pulled away from him to get back to your phone but he grabbed your wrist,
"No, enough dancing . I know another exercise we can do." he said with a charming smile.
"Is that the only thing on your mind right now?"
"I'm usually very well behaved when I'm with the guys but when it's just you and me I can't help it. You've only let me taste you twice, it just makes me want you more. It's like trying to sneak forbidden fruit." he said pulling you back into his arms.
You laughed at him when his hands reached your thighs, his favorite part of you.
"I really wish you would stop wearing such baggy pants. I want to see your legs."
"These baggy pants are comfortable besides I wore shorts around you once before and that turned out to be a very dangerous decision."
"Yeah I almost ate you up right there." he said.
He leaned back in to capture your lips, he backed you into the mirrors against the wall, the cool mirror touching your sweaty back made you shiver and your body pressed forward against Zico's. He chuckled as he kissed you deeper. His hands came to your waist touching them as if they were delicate and fragile, like any unnecessary force would break you. He was gentle in the way he touched you all the time because he knew you weren't ready for anything more than that. In all honesty, he probably preferred to take his time. He seemed to like to soak in your reactions to his hands all over you. The way you inhaled slowly at his touch or the way your back arched up slowly when his hand reached your heat. He seemed to know exactly how to make you ache and want him, to make you cry and beg for more. Right now he just kissed you, your arms wrapped around his neck and he kissed you deeper but this time with a little more hunger. His lips moved to your neck making you moan slightly. You craned your neck a bit to give him more access but you were inwardly thinking that giving him that much encouragement might lead to him taking you right there in the practice room. When he sucked on your neck, you moaned a little louder. You were putting less and less effort into resisting the feelings he sent through your body.
"I want you so bad Y/N." he moaned lowly into your ear.
"Jiho, not here." you whispered back to him.
"Why not?" he chuckled as he went back to kissing your neck.
"Because it's our practice room." a third party voice came from the other side of the room.
Your eyes shot open while you were still clinging to Zico. Jihoon stood there looking at you like you should know better. It was almost like he was pulling an over protective brother move.
"Really Y/N I thought you'd at least be able to stay focused." Jihoon said.
Zico only half turned around to look at him for a second then his lips landed back on your neck. You let out a moan from the contact and covered your mouth. That felt good but Jihoon was standing right in front of you. His eyes got wide and he seemed to blush a little. Just the contact of his lips on your neck had you moaning. You could feel his hands move back down to your thighs and he lifted one around his waist so he could firmly plant himself between your legs. You could feel his hardness and you became even more embarrassed. His hand trailed up your stomach and the hand that wasn't pressed against your mouth went to his shoulder so you could push him off of you.
"Jiho, Jihoon's watching cut it out." you said lowly.
"I'm hungry now and I've been waiting for a while so he can either leave or stay and watch." he said against your neck.
"Jiho stop playing please." you said.
He pulled back so he could look up at you. You gave him a bit of a puppy dog look and he groaned frustrated. He let your leg down and decided to stay behind you, he clasped his hands together around your waist and his chin rested at the top of your head. You were thankful he stopped, he never went farther than you wanted. If you asked him to stop he would.
"What's so important that you had to ruin my lunch?" Zico said.
"That's just an odd way to refer to sex." Jihoon said.
"What's going on Jihoon?" you asked.
"Haneul is almost done with his interview I was going to take him to lunch and I wanted to see if you wanted to go."
"You're taking Haneul out for lunch? Well guess I don't have to worry too much about him trying to take you anymore." Zico said.
You laughed, Jihoon shook his head with a chuckle,
"No actual lunch hyung, you know where people eat food instead of- well you know." he said.
The look he gave you when he was about to say something far more inappropriate told you he was trying to keep it clean. Jihoon still had trouble getting used to the fact that you were no longer a virgin. Zico being the one to take it from you was a bit harder for him to come to terms with. It wasn't that he didn't like Zico, it wasn't even that he wanted Haneul to be the one to take it from you it was just the fact that it was gone now and your mentor, someone he saw too often, was the one to take it. At this point, he had to start looking at you as more of a woman rather than a innocent girl that was just overly comfortable with boys. You figured he disliked even more that you were creating a little more space between you two. It was more subtle things but everything that you two used to do together was a bit different now. You had locked the bathroom door when you were taking a shower and he'd gotten really irritated because he couldn't brush his teeth and he had to wait. He wasn't used to having to wait to get into the bathroom even if you were showering. There was a thunder storm a few nights ago and you had snuck into their room but you slept on the floor rather than in bed next to him. He hated that because he almost stepped on you the next morning; he told you next time just get in the bed it was stupid for you to sleep on the floor. He bought you a stuffed teddy bear, he said it was in hopes that you could hold into it and feel some security from it. It didn't really provide you with the security you needed but it was a nice comfort to have. You walked over to him and gave him a hug,
"I'd love to have lunch with you guys." you said.
"Good bugs. Zico- hyung are you coming with us?" he asked.
"I don't know Y/N are you still afraid we'll look like a couple?" Zico said.
You laughed, you two had been dating for at least four months now but you wanted to keep everything hush hush. Zico was really there for you when you were struggling to get past Yoojung's death even though you had the song that was dedicated to him. There were still moments it was just hard to focus, hard to work, hard to believe in yourself as a leader. Though Jihoon and Haneul helped a lot too, Zico kept mentoring you and pushed you farther than the other two boys probably would've not because they lacked the ability to give you support but Zico had done something specific for you. He gave you tough love, he snapped you out of your sad little fits. While everyone was being gentle with you and trying to baby you, he gave it to you straight, either you wanted to be the best rapper in the business or you were going to fade into the background with the risk of dragging your team mates down with you. He made it very clear that he would do his best to make your name disappear if you didn't get your shit together. That challenge alone struck you and you were going to do everything you needed to make sure not only did NTERNational succeed but that Zico had no way of making the fans forget about you. He seemed to know that you liked to be challenged and he used that to his advantage to get you back to your senses. You kept the news of you two dating hush hush because you just didn't want to deal with all the press and questions at the time so only people who needed to know like the members of both your groups and your manager were really aware of you two seeing each other. Most people knew that he was your mentor so when you two were seen together in public that was normally the first thing that came to mind, that you two were talking about work. So many rumors of a collab album coming out for you two had started when you two were seen in public together. You did your best to make it look like you two weren't seeing each other though.
"I think we'll be fine." you smiled.
You held out your hand to him and he walked over happy and took it in his. Jihoon messed up your hair then he wrapped his arm around your neck determined to show his protective side. You were still his best friend and he wanted very much for you to stay as innocent as possible. You very much believed, with Zico, you wouldn't stay innocent much longer and you had no problem with that.
"So many people are excited for our mixtape, I feel like more eyes are on us than on Zico." you chuckled.
"Hey! You haven't beaten me yet." He said.
"Yeah but she's pretty close. They both are." Jihoon laughed.
You smiled as Zico pouted at Jihoon's words.
Yoojung, I know you're watching me- so let me say thank you, thank you for everything you've done for me. Had you not pushed us into doing what we loved the most I never would've met my friends, my next pair of brothers and I never would've fallen in love. You've given me the best gift ever. I love you big brother, this is the last message I'll leave you...Goodbye.
Okay this took a while to get out but like I said my phone broke so everything I had already written was lost and I just had to go back and rewrite everything. I tried to wrap up the ending as well as I could. I have to finish Through paper glass windows which I have been seriously neglecting but I will finish Internal affiars first because it's the last chapter and because I have another Jongdae story that's supposed to be longer coming out, I don't want two Jongdae stories out at the same time. Anyway, thanks for reading bunnies as always I hope you enjoyed. ~Babydollbre