2 years ago1,000+ Views
When he came home from work he was unsurprisingly lethargic. For weeks he seemed unreasonably tired and out of it; no matter what I tried he wouldn’t open up to me or tell me what’s wrong . I had made his favorite meal in hopes of cheering up the downer so I could share the good news of our unborn child. I had gone to the doctor’s this morning and was surprised with the news mysef. But at dinner I was met with a very resigned chanyeol who barely made a dent on his plate; he sipped his drink while avoiding my desperate stare.
“I have some very surprising news.” I stated excitedly, and to my disappointment he nodded his head towards me without looking up to me, showing he heard me. I waited for a few seconds for him to voice his thoughts and what he said threw me off.
“I can’t do this anymore.” His voice was coarse and he kept his eyes downcast.
“what do you mean?” I asked even though I had a sneaking suspicion of what he meant.
He unsnapped the leather cuff off his wrist and tossed it onto the center of the table. “this relationship. I can’t take you out and I keep you hidden yet you seem so fucking happy. Our ‘dates’ are us stowed away on the couch with a bowl of popcorn hugged to our chests. I can’t deal with any of this anymore.”
“where is all of this coming from? You said you’d rather keep this hidden until after our marriage, which you wanted to plan ‘later’. I thought we were doing okay.” Tears welled up in my eyes and my fists curled up underneath the table.
“we’ve spent four years of our lives holed up in this apartment. No we aren’t doing ‘okay’, you might be but I sure as hell am not.” He snapped looking up to me with a ferocious glare and tears sliding down his cheeks.
“we can fix that; we’ll go public if you want. We can go to the movies and go out for dinner. We can elope tonight if that’s what you want.” I tried, but my words didn’t seem to console him at all.
“we can’t fix it- we’ve gone way past that point. I don’t want to fix it anymore, I’m tired of all of it.” He stated with disgust curling his expression into an unrecognizable one. Of course we’ve fought but we’ve always reconciled within a few days and spent the next few hours curled into each other’s arms. We’ve never tried to end the relationship no matter how hard it was on us.
“you’ve given up? You’ve given up on us? I haven’t even told what I’ve found out today: I’m pregnant.” I stood up while roughly pushing away from the table. “it’s okay though, you’re tired of it all. How do you think I feel? I can’t tell anyone about our relationship- even my mother barely knows who you are or what you do. Hell, she doesn’t even know I’m engaged because that would lead to questions I’m not allowed to answer or it would be an inconvenience to you. You are the only person I socialize with, which is rare because you’re always at the dorms or on tour. I’ve put up with all of this because I love you, but you have the nerve to say you’re done with this. I’m glad we’re ending this now or else our children would be a secret too and I’d never want them to feel this way.”
Chanyeol seemed taken aback from my outburst and his eyes held immediate regret. “you’re pregnant?” he whispered, and my angry gaze didn’t faze him as he slowly stood up and crept towards me. Tears had somehow started to fall from my eyes and he cupped my cheeks and brushed them away softly. His eyes searched my own for conformation or perhaps even comfort but they only held discontent. Tears were cascading down both our cheeks and I decided that both of us needed to stop this.
“leave, chanyeol. I can’t do this anymore. I’m not happy with us either, I’ve tried so hard to keep you happy and I’m just not good enough for you. I can do it by myself, I was raised by a single parent and I can do it too. I won’t have them feeling worthless or sad because their daddy doesn’t want anyone to know about them. I know this is what your manager would suggest, so do as we both advise and just walk away.” I pushed his hands away and stepped out of his grasp. I looked to the table where his leather cuff was tossed carelessly and down to my very own. I unclasped it and looked down to the word written discreetly on the inside: forever. I tossed mine to the table and it landed softly on the edge before falling to the ground.
“please don’t do this.” He begged as he fell to his knees in front of me and hugged my legs tightly. His sobbing figure broke my heart but I had to do what was best for me and my child, which was to live a normal life and not be hidden for the entirety of our lives.
“you did this. You decided this had to end when you walked in here tonight. The baby deserves better than to be hidden and you can’t give that.”
“no, I can! I promise! Don’t shut me out! I want to be there; I don’t want anyone else to raise my child. I can’t miss out on the first steps or their first day of school. I want to cheer on graduation day even though we’ll both be crying.” He sobbed, his words muffled from being spoken into my thighs.
“what about the fans who will try to hurt me and the baby? That was the whole reason we stayed quiet about us in the first place.” I gently tugged away from him and he tightened his hold to the point that it was starting to hurt. My hands found their way down his hair and pulled roughly to have him let go.
“I’ll protect you. I’ll leave EXO if they try to hurt you. I’ll- “
“YOU are hurting me.” I countered, cutting him off mid-sentence. Instantly he let go to jump up and enveloped me into his arms.
“please don’t leave me. I am so sorry I tried to break up. I didn’t mean it, I wasn’t thinking. I need you- morning noon and night. I need your cuddles at night. I need your nagging when I’m not eating properly or being a pest to the other members. I need you to hug me on my bad days and let me kiss the pain away when you’re hurt. I need to meet your family and ask them properly for your hand in marriage. I need you as my wife and the mother of my future children. I need you to help me cook dinner and tell me it tastes great when I make an inedible mess by myself. I need you to curl up in my arms as you fall asleep on the couch when a comedy isn’t particularly funny. I need you- I need my Y/N.” he rambled as he pressed his face into the crook of my neck. My arms curled around him and he pulled away a bit just to look at me square in the face.
“please forgive me.” He pleaded with red eyes and tear stained cheeks. I reached up and brushed a few ruffled strands of hair into place before cupping him cheek and smiling softly at him.
“only if you forgive me first.” His smile was breathtaking but only lasted a few moments before he crashed his lips onto mine in a feverent kiss.
Oh my goodness.
Usually the only ones who read my writing are my English teachers so this feels extremely embarrassing.
Well, let me know what you thought and what I could fix if I was ever to write another. I might, I love writing and I thought this contest would be fun.
1 comment
That was really good ! You did a great job.