a year ago
BabydollBre
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Rapper's Identity Ch.3
Who: Reader x Woo Jiho What: Semi-angst, Semi-smut. (I honestly don't know how to place this) Chapter 3 For those of you that haven't read Rappers Intent this is the second part of that story. I have decided to make a second part it may become a trilogy I don't even know. Story: At your three year mark as a group, NTERNational has come a long way since that performance after your brother's death. You and Zico have been dating almost a full year but stress has overcome you in a much different way. No one seems to know what's wrong with you not even your best friend Jihoon. With another mini album coming out and you working on your solo mixtape, the pressure becomes harder to handle and your relationship with Zico wavers...
Jihoon's POV *Pre-Debut* "Okay so you're going to cross the right leg on three I'm going to be on my left. We're mirroring each other. Then you step out with the opposite leg and transfer your weight when you sweep the leg; it'll help make it smo-" Y/N explained the dance routine they were creating when she looked up into the mirrors in front of her. Jihoon was acting silly in the background making her trail off mid sentence, when she saw him she placed a hand on her hip and sighed. "Ji Ji listen to me." she complained. "I am bugs, I am." he said walking up to her. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her cheek. She just laughed, it was moments like these people thought they were a couple. He loved her with all his heart and at one point he did have feelings for her but it had more to do with the fact that he always saw her prancing around half naked in the house. Her body was fantastic and he was just....well horny. He kept that all to himself though, the last thing he wanted to do was ruin their friendship or take a beating from Yoojung and the rest of her brothers. They talked to each other about everything, they did everything together. There wasn't much that he didn't know about Y/N. They were soul mates but on an entirely different level, in an entirely different meaning. She didn't do anything without him. She didn't make big life choices without him, she refused to leave for vacation if he wasn't tagging along. She studied with him for school. They did everything together. He was the one person she could trust, outside of Yoojung, that she could say anything to or do anything with. He picked her up and spun her around and walked her over to the couch. "We've been dancing for hours babe my toes need a break." he said She plopped down on the sofa with a sigh and turned and crossed her feet. She leaned against the arm of the chair and Jihoon did the same thing. She was playing with her socks when she said, "You know it's moments like that, that make people think we're dating." Jihoon chuckled, "I know, I know. Anyway what's been on your mind?" "What do you mean?" she asked looking up at him. "Come on Y/N you know I know you better than that." he smiled. She smiled lightly and sighed, "It's just- everyone at home keeps saying that we're wasting our time doing this. My parents aren't confident in our talent and they keep telling me to get my head out of the clouds. My brothers keep saying we won't get in and it's just useless to try. We should just play at a bar or something." "What did Yoojung say?" "They're all idiots." she said plainly. Jihoon laughed, "Yeah sounds like Yoojung." "He thinks we can do it, he thinks that just because they don't believe in us doesn't mean that it's not worth fighting for. I'm trying so hard to keep fighting, to keep wanting this but they're killing me Ji." she said. "I know." he said softly. "Come here." he said waving her to lean over to him as he leaned over to her. He fixed his position on the couch and placed her head against his chest and she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. His hand began to pet the back of her head as he said, "Yoojung always says just because the world is going left doesn't mean you have to follow so just because your family is saying it's foolish doesn't mean they're right, right?" he said. She nodded against his body, "You train your ass off everyday and you've got professional teachers down here telling you how amazing you are at dancing. The people that have heard you rap love your style. You're unique and you bring something new to the table. The negative comments don't matter, I know they hurt, I know they stick with you but they don't matter. You keep fighting Y/N and just remember you're not alone. I've got your back, I'd follow you to hell and back." She smiled against him and then chuckled, "An army of two taking on the demons of hell? Sounds like an anime." "Who doesn't like a challenge? It wouldn't be fun if it were an even match." he said. "You're such a show off." she laughed. "I know but why else would you love me?" She fixed her position on the couch and laid down with her head in his lap. She looked up at him and he looked down at her. She held up her pinky finger, "To hell and back Jihoon. You have to promise me you'll follow me anywhere." she said. He smiled and wrapped his pinky finger around hers. "To hell and back, I'll follow you anywhere." he said. *Present Day* Speaking the very words into existence made it a promise he could never forget and would never let go of. She was just as dedicated in the promise as he was. Not in the sense that she had to remind him to follow her but that she had followed him through everything too. When things got over whelming as an idol, she pulled him aside from the group, she gave him confidence, she gave him love, she did all the things a best friend should do and more. Just as much as he was here for her, she was there for him. That was the very foundation of their friendship, there was no onesided love between them: he was there for her, she was there for him. Words couldn't describe the utter pain and anger he felt when he heard her mumble that she'd fall to her death. That she could even consider leaving him in that manner broke him a part to the point he couldn't rationally contain his anger. It was the only time she had ever made him so upset. They had argued before, it was very rare but he always contained his true anger with her. Even at this point, he was tame with her but he was furious at the same time. The thought in his mind wasn't that she was being selfish by wanting to die, he didn't think it was stupid, he thought about how it would really feel to lose her. She had already begun to pull away, this was beyond just Zico and hers relationship though. He knew that as a fact, it wasn't even a speculation. This begun a while back, just a few months ago when they had the worst fight ever in their friendship. She was the one more pissed off and offended than anything and he was stupid not to do anything about it. He was stupid for not defending her. He regretted even telling her to just do what the company asked when she fainted. He was stupid for not realizing just how much that was affecting her. Still he believed it went beyond even that, she wasn't making music like she used to. She was really hiding away from the group whenever she could; she was pulling away from everyone. When he heard the broken way she called his name, he told her not to do that for his benefit really rather than to condemn her. He couldn't keep his anger if she sounded like that. When she began to cry, it was the worst sound he'd ever heard. It was a much different pain than when she cried at Yoojung's funeral. She was in deep pain; he hadn't even seen it festering inside her because he was too busy doing things for the company. Holding her brought back the memory of that promise though. He held her tighter to him as she cried; she was drunk too. He felt her tears get onto his shirt making it wet, his hand met the back of her head as he pulled her in closer to him. He whispered into her ear, "I can't lose you bugs, don't leave me. Please Y/N, to hell and back I'll follow you anywhere, remember?" Her breath hitched against his body as if the very promise made years ago and how they made it came back to her in a instant flash. She was still crying but it had calmed when he picked her up in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck to hold onto him and he walked her to his car. There were people taking pictures of them as they headed to the car. Some fans were asking if she was okay and Jihoon cracked a half smile and just nodded. He was more focused on getting her home than entertaining anyone at this moment. He placed her in the passengers seat up front and knelt down for a second. She had her eyes closed but when he called her name and he gently wiped a piece of hair out of her face she responded to him. "I'll let you sleep for now but when we get in the house you're going to talk to me, okay?" he said. "Okay." she said real groggy like. He shut the door after standing up and walking around the car. By that time she had really fallen asleep. He slightly smiled at the peaceful face she had but even in her sleep he could see her distress. He drove back to the house and picked her up again to carry her in. She held onto his neck again more as an unconscious action than anything else. He struggled to get the door open but once it was finally open he heard someone call his name from behind him, "Jihoon." He half turned to see Zico coming up to him then turned when he heard Haneul come to the door. "You found her." Haneul said. He didn't have a shirt on and his boxers where showing just slightly above his sweatpants. Jihoon acknowledged Haneul first, "Yeah, here," He said coming up to him and passing her sleeping body to Haneul. "Take her to her room. Don't wake her up." he said. Haneul held her and looked at her face then up at Zico. He didn't show any visible sign of disgust, it was more worry for her sake than his anger at him. Jihoon knew he was angry at him. He had done so much to show that Y/N was his in front of Haneul. Y/N was too dense to notice that Haneul was bothered by it. Recently they didn't do too much with each other. Jihoon knew though, he knew Haneul loved her and he still wanted her and the fact that Zico had screwed it up may have given him hope but at the same time Jihoon believed Haneul knew what he knew: Y/N would eventually go back to him. Haneul turned and walked down the hall headed for her room while Jihoon closed the door behind him and turned to Zico. Zico sighed and said, "What happened to her?" Jihoon crossed his arms and looked down at the ground for a second. He wanted to be delicate with what he said next but he wasn't sure he could. "Hyung- she got drunk and fell asleep." he said. "She doesn't drink." "That's not entirely true, Y/N drinks when it's appropriate to drink but she doesn't find much interest in alcohol. Today however, she found a lot of interest in it because of what she saw." There it was, the tone he wasn't able to push away. The utter annoyance he felt towards Zico at the moment and at himself for not stopping this when he had the chance. He was upset at him but this wasn't whole heatedly his fault and he knew it. "It wasn't like that Jihoon. I told you already," he started. "Can I just go talk to her to explain everything?" "You saw her Zico, she was asleep. So no you can't come in to see her." Jihoon said. Zico sighed and looked away from Jihoon. He put his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. "Why didn't you just tell her?" Jihoon asked. Zico looked up at him, "She knew I was in the drama." "Yes but you didn't tell her you two would be practicing. To be practicing in the park, kissing in the park, even you must know how that looks Jiho. You get jealous when she kisses me and the guys on the cheek or when she sleeps in the same bed as me but she's been pulling back on all of that for the sake of respecting how you feel and you couldn't tell her you were practicing a kissing scene with your Co-star? Do you see the double standard here?" Jihoon said. Zico's eyebrows furrowed, he could feel the guilt in what he had done. Not that it was Jihoon's intention to make him feel guilty but he was glad he did. He was happy he knew just what he had done and he was happy he felt bad about it. "I'm sorry but what happened in the studio was different that wasn't planned she just kissed me. Jihoon I don't want to lose Y/N." Zico said. "Yeah well neither do I." Zico's narrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?" he asked. Jihoon stepped up to Zico, not in a threatening manner but he didn't really want anyone else to hear what he was going to say. He wouldn't be able to keep the bite out of his tone. He just kept remembering what she said to herself and it made him more angry. "No one knows Y/N better than I do. We've spent our whole lives together and this is the first time I've ever felt so far apart from her even when we're standing right next to each other. The fact of the matter is Y/N changed a lot about herself in such little time to make you feel comfortable. The end result has her feeling alone. She doesn't like women and growing up with six brothers and a male best friend she doesn't know how to get along with women. So she'll always surround herself around guys because that's what she's comfortable with. She doesn't know how to not touch. The nature of her friendship comes from her ability to be comfortable enough to touch her friends. Even if it's hugging, or kissing them on the cheek, or grabbing our butts. As her boyfriend I can understand how that would make you feel uncomfortable but have you tried once to understand why she operates like that?" Jihoon said growing more upset. Zico looked away for a second and then pulled his hand out to brush his hair back in frustration. He exhaled heavily and said, "No." "I know you haven't because if you had you wouldn't feel inferior when she touches us or the male members of other groups you'd just think 'that's just Y/N'. Have you noticed that sometimes she'll flinch or even hesitate when she goes in for a hug, she won't hug for long any more either, it's very quick. It's almost like she doesn't even want to be touched but that's not true. Her natural impulse is to touch, to hug and to kiss. Y/N finds warmth and comfort and friendship and trust when she can touch someone. She finds connections through embraces. Ever since she was a child that's how she's been. The only time she ever feels connected to her older brothers is when they hug her. If she's comfortable with someone she hugs them, she kisses them. Haneul and her didn't really become friends until one day he hugged her on stage when she fell. When we met, she scarred her leg because she tripped and fell so I hugged her to get her to stop crying and I haven't left her since. Hae-il is almost just like her and he can't stand the fact that she will barely hug him. We all miss the real Y/N we know and she's gone and it's because of you." "Jihoon." "You say you care about her and you love her but what do you even know about her? Do you know that she's afraid of thunderstorms? She could watch lightning for hours but the moment she hears thunder she turns into a puppy. She won't sleep unless there's someone with her. That's why she sleeps in the same bed as me when that happens. Jiho she was innocent, she always has been innocent nothing she does is ever with the intention to hurt someone or use someone, to lead them on, she just loves people. It's in her nature. When she stopped doing those things, she lost her connection. She doesn't know how to compensate for it and now she feels so alone that she just wants to die. That's not an exaggeration Jiho she said it herself. Do you know how that feels as her best friend to hear her say something like that? Have you any inkling of how much pain she's feeling or how the people around her are feeling? You say you don't want to lose her but if you don't know her outside of Tiger the rapper then you never really had her to begin with. You're just another fanboy at this point." "Why wouldn't she tell me that?" Zico asked. "Because she's stubborn as hell and the only two people she would ever talk to about that she's not talking to like she used to out of respect for you and the other one is dead. I didn't like the idea of you two dating in the first place. It's not because I favored Haneul over you, it's not because I was in love with her it's because I know her. She lost her virginity to you, she fell in love with you, in a romantic sense you were her first for everything. The innocent girl she used to be is fading out because of that. I knew it would and that's selfish of me I know but I also know she wasn't ready. She wasn't ready Jiho, she wasn't. So for a while you just need to stay away from her-" "Jihoon." "No, I'm serious. Until I can get her back to who she used to be even a little you don't need to see her." Jihoon said. Zico wiped his face with his hand. He looked distressed because he didn't want to end it like this. He wanted to make things right and he wanted to explain everything but Jihoon didn't care what Zico wanted at this point. All he cared about was making sure she didn't say things like that again. "Goodnight Hyung." Jihoon said. He headed inside and closed the door behind him. Zico was probably mad but again he didn't care. Jihoon's attention was solely on Y/N. He came into her room and Haneul was sitting on the bed gently petting her hair away from her face. She was still asleep resting on her side. He had put the blanket on her, her arms were bent so her hands were in her face. Haneul bent down to kiss her cheek and then he slowly pulled away from her and came off the bed so he didn't wake her. He turned around and got a little startled by Jihoon watching him. He quickly regained his composure and walked towards the door to head out of her room. Jihoon said, "I'm staying here tonight." Haneul nodded without question and left. Jihoon closed the door behind him and climbed onto Y/N's bed and shook her to wake her up. She groaned and her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. "Let's go Y/N get up, I told you when we came back we were going to talk." he said. "Ji ji, I'm tired." she mumbled. "I don't care, get up." he said. He lifted her and leaned her against the bed post. He sighed heavily seeing her exhausted face, "You need to tell me something Y/N it's not okay that you're saying things like that." "I didn't mean it Ji ji I was just sad and angry-" "If you're sad and angry you cry or you break something you do not say that you're going to end your life that is on an entirely different level. Now start talking, what's been going on with you?" he said. His voice rang with inpatients which he didn't mean to let out but he needed to know. Come tomorrow she might run off and he'd have no idea what went wrong. "I'm thinking about- not being an idol anymore." she said. He swallowed, "Why?" She shrugged, "Don't do that to me. You tell me everything, I know you better than you know yourself so tell me. This started back months ago when the company asked you to lose weight. Why did that incident change you so much?" "You used to tell me that the negatives didn't matter. That eventually they canceled each other out like in math but you were wrong Jihoon. The world just keeps adding and adding negatives on me." "How?" "Yoojung died and for months I left messages on his phone begging him to call me back because I needed him. I've called him more when he was dead than when he was alive. That's a pretty shitty thing to do to your own blood. Then I thought everything is going great and the company asks me to lose weight because it doesn't fit the image and I just felt so-" Jihoon looked away, "Betrayed." he finished for her. "I shouldn't have been that angry but for two years there was nothing wrong so why now? The point of my image was to be different not to be like everyone else. Now it's just like the company is saying you're not enough. The Netitzens are saying I'm too big and then saying I'm too skinny but for two years not a damn word. To top everything off I haven't been able to do anything with you guys like I used to because my boyfriend says it makes him feel uncomfortable and then he goes behind my back and kisses his Co-star on the lips without telling me. It's just too much Jihoon it's too much at once and I know as a leader I should be able to handle this stuff but I can't, I can't I just- can't." Jihoon pulled her into a hug quickly while she was freaking out. She was on the verge of tears again and trying to pull them back which caused her to lose her breath for a second. "I don't feel like the same person anymore I just feel lost." she said. "I'm your life line babe. To hell and back, an army of two against the demons of hell." he said. "I don't think that's enough Ji Ji." she said. He held her tighter, "We've always been able to do anything as long as it's together Y/N. So you can't cut me out. If you stop acting like yourself you will lose yourself. I admit it, it was wrong for me to go along with the company rather than backing you up. I should've never done that and I'll talk to Mr. Kim; I'll do something so that you're not becoming the cookie cutter idol. I want you to be happy, I want you to be yourself not what the world wants you to be. The world will love you more if you act like yourself not if you turn into someone you're not." "Do you still love me?" He chuckled half hurt that she would even have to ask but he knew why. He began to pet the back of her head, "I'll always love you bugs. I know who you are, I know the real you. I know your heart. I know you're hurting and I'm so sorry for not acting like I used to. I should've sat you down. I should've danced with you, I should've talked to you." "I wouldn't have let you." she sniffed. "Liar, you know better than anyone I can make you do anything." She chuckled into his arm. There was silence for a moment and then she said, "I still talk to Yoojung." He pulled back to look her in the face. He looked a little confused, "Are you still calling his phone?" She shook her head, "He's haunting me. My mind won't let him go and there are times he seems so real like he's standing in front of me and I could reach out and touch him." "Hey," he lifted her chin so he could look her in the eyes. "Yoojung would want you to be happy. Being able to sing and dance makes you happy right? He's the one that believed in you, he's the one you promised to give 200 percent effort and prove the world wrong right?" She nodded, "Well you're not done yet, you can't go back on your promise Y/N. You need to start having fun again, start doing the things you used to do. Be yourself and be happy maybe then he'll stop haunting you." he said. She nodded, he puckered his lips out and made a kissing noise in the air and said, "Mwah!" She couldn't help but chuckle at the ridiculous action and that made him smile. He moved on the bed so he was no longer facing her but now siting next to her. "Alright now let's go to bed." he said. "Okay." She said. He wrapped his arm around her neck after he took off his shirt leaving him in his black tank. He laid her back with him and she rolled into him to hold onto him like a teddy bear. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes so they could both sleep. He hoped that when the morning came she would've healed some. Enough that he could get her back to who she was....
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3 comments
I loved this chapter.💖 That's best friend goals right there! Unconditional love and support is hard to find.... dang I need a bestie like that...preferably male and hot as hell too! hehe!😆
a year ago·Reply
11
lol that's best kind of friendship ever
a year ago
I'll reread it again once I get home. This chapter looks deep!!!
a year ago·Reply
12
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I think I will!!!!
a year ago
I'm seriously in love with Jihoon and her friendship, their support for each other is beautiful😭💙
a year ago·Reply
10