Dear Significant Other,
I feel heart-wrenching pain from time to time. I think it's a product of who i want to be and what the world is. So i hide things. My true emotions are normally hidden in my doodles, in the short things i write from time to time. In the prayers only God hears. Now i may open up to you and i may not... i still don't know. There are days where i'll seem "off" and if you truly know me you may notice, you also may not because of how good i'm becoming at not talking about what is wrong with me.
Perhaps i'm no longer talking about it because i do not know either. I am in pain. not the physical kind.
I'd rather not show pain when i first meet people because i feel like they're staying due to sympathy. Some natural instinct to care for someone who doesn't seem to care for himself perhaps? does that mean i'm lying about who i am?
I don't think so because i am several things. Pain is not the only thing i feel.
I continuously consider stopping this... the letters i mean. They don't mean i'm good at loving or relationships or anything. I just need to believe that i'm talking to someone about how i currently feel without having to receive an answer. A hug would be nice. But my current thoughts on hugs will have to be addressed in a different letter. I shall stop here for now...