2 years ago500+ Views
I can feel my head spinning as if ive been on a million roller coasters. Ive discovered a million pieces to my broken heart and admired it through their reflections. How far have i come to be like this?. The ropes that hold my hands to the bed, i can feel them tightening themselves to my already red hands. I am in a hospital room tied to a bedā€¦ its not the first time i am not surprised about it. My eyes circle around the room and i find someone who ive never wouldve thought to see again after 12 years. My dear brother. Hes not alone, my mother is also here. I can see how sore her eyes are and her piercing stare that would only bring a smirk on your face just seeing her pretend to be sad and guilty while in reality shes just holding in her anger. Deception at its best. "Son, how are you feeling?. She says with fake concern". "Im fineā€¦ why are you here?". "Your brother here called me saying you were tied to a bed and had an episode hours before. I couldnt just sit there and not be here by your side.." "Oh shut up mom, when in hell have you cared about him or his well being? The only time you've ever actually paid attention to him was when he saved you from dad" Bambam interrupts with a disgusted look on his face. He stares furiously at mom. His eyebrows are furrowed into a complete straight line and his lips are made into a frown. His hands are gripping onto the chair handles clearly trying to hold back from something. Have i missed something? "Bambi, have some respect. I am your mother and just because youre an adult does not give you the right to talk to me this way. I do care about your brother very much and if youve never seen it then you are conspicuously blind". She snaps looking at him with wide eyes and her long nails gripping his wrist, leaving marks against his skin. "Can you not fight for one fucking minute and explain to me what the hell happened to me?" They each look at me with serious faces and lean back into their chairs which leads to creaking sounds and a loud sigh from mom. "The doctors said that you had an incident a few hours ago and to calm you down they forced you to drink down some pills to relax your body and basically fall asleep". He stared at me with pity eyes and i knew exactly what he was telling me through his eyes. "Brother, I am so sorry. I am sorry for not being able to keep my promise. And i am sorry for lying to you." At that point i was in tears. Mom looked at me and put her hand on my shoulder. Her hand felt so warm on my cold body yet it didnt ring me relaxation or warmth. I felt even colder by her touch. Goosebumps ran down my spine when she started moving them in a slow, calming way. I stared at her and all she gave me was a reassuring smile. It was a smile i missed seeing on her. That smile which she had long before dads abusive behavior. It brought me to touch her cheek. The tears that ive seen before werent there. The pained look she had on for years was gone at the moment and all she could do was smile. "Mom, why didnt you smile that day?" "Jae, lots of things happened that day that there was no reason to smile. You would understandā€¦ you were there." "Momā€¦ for once youre showing affection?" Bam said. "Kumpimook, stop, stop the hatred towards me. I never did anything to hurt any of you, especially you." It was clear that i have missed a lot of things while i was gone. I wont dare to ask as its probably a personal issue. And really i dont feel like ruining the moment.