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Are you ready for this?
Hello hello! @Sailynn here to drop the next chapter of Namjoon's novel!
I do apologize for not dropping this chapter last friday, I took a day off after battling the thousands of men, women, and children during black Friday e.e
But now I'm back and on regular schedule so please take care of me! x3
If you follow my personal account, please know that this card will be clipped in my Fanfiction Collection, that way you can find all of the updates without having to navigate so much! :D
Are you new? ;) Here are the links to the story thus far! :3
Please enjoy!

Chapter 4~ It Will Never Change

“Fuck.” You jump out of bed and throw on the closest sweatshirt you could grab a hold of, stopping to look at the tall mirror attached to the door when you noticed your own distressed facade. It was as if ten years had been added with the way you stared at yourself. 'What am I doing?'
Your eyes drop down to the floor while your bottom lip because the victim of your teeth. 'I told him.... I flippin' told him.' You look back up and rub an eye with the back of your hand, exhaling as softly as possible. “No. I can't jump to any conclusions just yet. I need to be patient.”
You finish dressing then grab your keys and backpack and head out the door, plugging in your headphones on full blast to try and wash out all the scenarios that had begun jumping to the front of your head.
It was too late to head towards your first class that day, so you head straight towards your second class, psychology. Finding a spot was easy since the classroom was empty, but the emptiness only added fuel to your exploding imagination. You lay your head on the seat in front of you, closing your eyes to let yourself get lost in the happy tone of 21st Century Girl.
“What are you doing today?”
“I'm visiting a friend, how about you?” You smile yourself once you detect the smiling tone in his voice.
“I'm in Manhattan with the other members. We're doing a photo shoot today to prepare for a comeback in a few months.”
Your face heats up, “W-what? No way. I'm in Brooklyn right now!”
“Brooklyn? Across the bridge, Brooklyn?”
“Yeah!” You sing into the phone.
He chuckled, “Are you stalking me all the way from LA?”
You giggle, “I don't think so. I've had this trip planned for months now. Are you sure YOU'RE not stalking me from LA?”
He chuckled again. “I'm not going to answer that question jagiya.”
You bit your lip to keep yourself from smiling like an idiot. “Is there anyway I can see you today? It's just across the bridge, I can figure out the bus system pretty easily.”
Namjoon remained silent.
You wait a few more seconds until the fear of the line possibly cutting off enters your head. “Namjoon?”
“Yes jagiya?”
“Oh. Did you hear what I said?”
“Yes I did.”
“What do you think?”
“I don't think I can see you today, jagiya.”
Your heart breaks a little. “Ah, it's okay. Maybe before you go.”
“Mmmm, maybe.”
You listen to him closely, trying to pick up any kind of noise on the other side of the line.
“Yes?” You respond quickly to the sound of his voice calling for you.
“I don't..... I don't think it's safe to meet up this week.”
Your heart sinks further. “Oh. Will your manager get mad?”
“No.” He says firmly before sighing. “They don't know I'm dating you.”
“Well, is he always with you? Maybe you can sneak out with the others an-”
“The members don't know either.”
You freeze. “Wait- what?”
“They don't know that I've been taking to you in general.”
“H-how c-come? A-are you as-shamed of m-me?”
“No, jagiya, I'm not ashamed of you. I'd never be. You're beautiful, wonderful, everything I lack. It's just that..... I want to tell them when the time is right. And right now is not the best time to tell them something like this.”
You swallow hard, picturing yourself in the shadows of Kim Namjoon for the rest of your life. “D-does anyone kn-know?”
“Bang PD knows, but that's it. Jagiya, I want to protect you from the harsh realities of the idol world. Especially after what we've talked about, in order for me to do that, the less people that know that you and I are together, the safe you'll be. Have you told anyone about us?”
'Of course not. ARMYs are beyond savage. This was the first thing I thought about that night.' “No, I haven't. It's okay oppa, I won't tell anyone about our relationship.”
“Thank you jagiya. I promise to make it up to you next month somehow.”
You smile once more at the sound of his smile blending into his sentence, “Okay oppa.”
Everything disappeared in front of your very eyes, making you flinch when your body starts to shake until your jerk your head up, opening your eyes to the cold world instead of the warm one in your dreams. You turn around and see your professor smiling kindly down at you.
“Yes?” You ask, removing your headphones instantly.
Her smile broadened, “you're lucky I was able to see you through the door or else I would have walked straight by and left you dozing here for who knows how long.”
You look around at the still empty classroom, “where is everyon- Did I sleep through your class!?” You gasp in horror.
She grins, “no sweetie. I canceled class today because our guest speaker couldn't show up. Didn't you read the email this morning?”
You blink twice as the thoughts about what took place that very morning hit you. “Ah. No. No I did not.”
She shakes her head. “Pay more attention to the details, sweetie. It could save your life one day.” And with that, she smiled once more then left the classroom.
“Aishh.” You rub your temples to erase the memory that replayed in your head while you slept. 'My subconscious trying to tell me something? Did Joonie already tell them that we were dating like he said we were?'
You get up and grab your bag, “it's been two months since that conversation.... he's had to by now, right?”
You arrive back at your dormitory and immediately jump in the shower to prepare getting ready for work, thanking the heavens for giving you something to do to keep your mind off of things.
It was a simple job, working in the mall, selling facial cleansers, restocking, and best part- free access to the music player, giving you time to jam out to all of your Kpop favorites as you worked. Before you knew it, you were closing up the store for the night and heading back home, still, with no notification from Namjoon.
When you get home, you flop on your bed and start checking every social media with a BTS account for any kind of updates from any of the members.
Your head drops its weight on the pillow in front of you after hoisting yourself up on your elbows. 'Come on, it hasn't even been a day yet. I'm sure everything is okay, wait until he texts me first.'
But time continued forward.
You fell back into the routine of going to class, coming back, studying, and repeat the day after. Taking the weekends to work and study since there was nothing else to preoccupy your time.
Each day passed slower and slower, professors adding on homework and lessons to wrap up the fall semester before finals began, and everyday, you continue to stalk social media, only finding pictures and updates of the other members; all except Namjoon.
You grunt into your desk. 'How am I suppose to study when it's as if he's been erased off the face of the planet?'
Tears had begun to weld behind your eyes for the first time. 'Is this how it's going to be?'
You push yourself away from the desk and stand up, pivoting around to fall belly first on your bed. “Please Namjoon, tell me you're at least okay.”
Your hand automatically reaches for your phone on the night stand, making you flinch the moment it starts to vibrate in your hand after touching it. An eyebrow shoots up in curiosity until you unlock it to see Namjoon's Kakao caller ID on the screen.
“Oppa?” you gasp immediately into the phone.
“Oppa is that really you?”
“Yeah, it's me.”
Tears begin to stream down the sides of your face as your heart took off in a frenzy. “Oppa, I missed you.”
“I know jagiya, I know. I missed you too.”
“What happened? You cut off all of a sudden after I heard someone! Are you okay? Should I be worried or anything? You're okay right?” You ramble.
Namjoon clears his throat. “Jagiya. Are you done with classes?”
You flinch at the bizarre question. “N-no. I have next week booked with finals.... why?”
“Get everything ready, jagiya, because I'm flying out to Seoul the day after Christmas.”
Wait. He doesn't talk to you for how many days and tells you he's gonna what? XD
Joonie, this isn't how you date a girl, you silly goose you. ;)
Will everything be okay? Why the sudden move? Why did he want to wait for the right time? And how come Joonie keeps dodging your questions?
Guess we'll have to see what goes down on Friday's chapter! ;D
Thank you so much for reading and supporting! <3 :)
See you all on Friday for sure! XD


[KpopINT does not own any of these photos or gifs used other than the title photo. All credit is given to rightful creators.]
OMO, he better have a good reason why he disappeared! Though I'm guessing he'll be able to make up for it pretty easily.
As always, my heart is absolutely on fire right now. 🔥🔥🔥😵😵😵😵😭😭😭😭