a year ago500+ Views
So I have a problem that's keeps getting worse and I can figure out the cuz I've ask a few different people some of them say it's psychological some say it's physical but nobody has been able to help me so far but my problem started when I was nine years old I had a cousin who I was very close to since he was born but he died when he was three months old while I was a church camp the camp was a few weeks long he died on the thursday of the last week I was there I know what I'm about to say may seem insignificant but I've always had a feeling that it had something to with my problem on the day he died I didn't know at the time that he had died but for some reason on that day at the camp I felt an intense sadness all day I had never been sad at all while I was at the camp just angry but to continue my story when I got home from the camp I was told that he had died and I cried for months on end but ever since the day I felt the intense sadness I had a soul crushing pain in my chest and when I heard he died it only got worse I'm 13 years old now and that pain only continues to get worse I wasn't going to say anything further about except for the few people I have already asked but the pain is starting to get unbearable sorry for the long story behind it but with the way things are going I'm not sure how much longer I can handle it
I can relate to a few things. my family also has a history of depression. I've been getting better. it's been a 15 yr struggle for me. now I'm only going through an episode every 3 or so months. I've always been made to pretend I'm happy and everything is okay. my mother didn't understand until I was in my late teens that this was depression. as a girl my file assumed I was hormones. I attempted suicide as a young teen and even into my early adulthood. Now, with a family of my own I have to think about them. Some days I still struggle but it's not worth dying. you're so young. one day you'll be like me. you'll look back and feel relief that you didn't do it. Many good things happen in life and I couldn't imagine missing these moments. I am so deeply sorry for your loss, I never got to know my father but i know what it's like having a step dad. Please be glad you got to spend the time you did with your father. It took years for my brother and into.get along with your step dad. We get along better as adults than as a teenage child and step parent. there are groups out there to help blended families. my family is looking at taking one because my husband has trouble adapting to out toddlers attitude and the whole blended family thing. you'll be okay. I'm sending my love <3 you can message me anytime you need helpful words or experienced advice. I'm here.
View 1 more replies
I sorry I think I said to much in that previous text
@MommaRoberts Thank u very much for all you've said to be honest I was I little worried that no one would be able to help me because my family has a history of mental illness and I have unfortunately inherited some of them through genetics and one of the mental illness that I got through my genetics is severe depression I've been on meds for awhile to help me but unfortunately due to the pain in my chest and the depression it caused me to attempt suicide when the depression got bad and the pain as well unfortunately with how my life is currently my depression gets pretty bad often something I didn't in my story was shortly after the death of my cousin we had found out that my father had cancer and my mother start a custody battle with my father and step mother of course at the time we didn't know how bad my father's cancer was he died before the custody battle was finished so they just gave custody of me and my sister to my mother after all that happening within a short period after my cousin death I just broke I didn't walk around like a zombie or anything I just became numb to reality and since I didn't know what else to do I just walked around smiling like I was perfectly fine it's only recently that I've started to realize that I'm not fine but I don't want to talk to anyone cause I don't want to worry them so I act like I'm okay around everyone but when I'm alone I slowly realize more and more how bad I really feel it doesn't help that right now I'm living with my mother and step father I love my mother I do but my step father doesn't like me and ever since I started living with my mother I've and anger issues so my step father blames for alot of things like one time he got angry while he was drunk and broke the glass top on the stove and blamed it on me but I have to admit I don't particularly like him either but with all of the problems I have in my life I don't have time to deal with anyother problems I have even when I want but still thanks for all you've said it really has helped me out quite abit
I had the same thing happen the day my aunty died. we were close as well. I know what your feeling and it is completely natural. over time it will get easier to hold onto good memories and to let go of the pain. it has been over 10 years that my aunty has been gone. I still miss her, but I have had to move on. I also lost two dear friends a few years later as well as my grandpa before that. honestly, I took a bad tumble after losing everyone, but I got back up again. took years, but I know you will be able to overcome this sorrow. my friend told me that one day we will see all our loved ones after a great resurrection. that we will all wake up from death and love forever in peace and perfection. that's where my hope is. I can only hope that this helps. xhugsx