SNBlackRose
a year ago500+ Views
The Pains of Our Yesterdays C11- Learning to Trust
What's up peoples. Chapter 11 is here. So, I didn't have as much free time as I thought, but I still worked hard. So sorry. But I'm also trying to write for a couple events so we'll see how that goes.
Thank you to all of you who are reading, liking, clipping, following, and commenting.
Disclaimer: Many of the characters aside from BTS are made up and BTS themselves are not BTS in this story. And, of course, I don't know the BTS boys personally so their personalities are probably mostly fictional.
Character thoughts are in { }.
Please let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged.
Beginning: Chapter 1
Previous: Chapter 10
Word Count: 2909
Warning: May contain mild language, slight innuendo
Narrator POV
The next morning, Jiyoung got up at her usual time, after having barely slept. She washed her face several times to try to rid herself of the puffy eyes she had from her earlier crying. She went downstairs and started reading a new book. She had already finished going through most of her study books and everything seemed to mostly stay in her brain after reading it once. She thought that maybe she was a natural at learning. She had done the same things in the few years she was in school before.
Once again, Jin was the first one up. He asked if Jiyoung wanted to play games. She politely refused. He asked if she wanted to walk with him outside. She politely refused. Jin asked if she wanted to watch TV. She said he could watch if she wanted to, she already had her book. Jin didn’t like this new change in her.
“What’s wrong? Are you sick?” He asked, putting one hand on her forehead.
Jiyoung quickly shied away. “I’m just not feeling great. Maybe I didn’t sleep enough,” she mumbled. Jin looked at her worriedly but let her be. He grabbed his own book and sat next to her. They both read in silence until the others started trickling down. They sat down at the table and everyone noticed that something was wrong with Jiyoung, she wasn’t her usually bubbly self. Then Jungkook noticed that his brother wasn’t there.
“Someone who’s not me want to wake up Jimin-hyung?” The others laughed.
“You should leave him. He has someone with him,” Jiyoung stated flatly.
“How do you know?” Hoseok asked. He didn’t like the idea of Jiyoung meeting one of Jimin’s girls.
“He was out late so I waited. I saw them come in. And they haven’t been down since I’ve been up. So they’re probably still up there.” Jiyoung started eating. Hoseok got a sinking feeling in his stomach that Jimin was the cause of her current mood. Was it possible that seeing Jimin with the woman had bothered Jiyoung? If that was the case, didn’t that mean she already liked him? Hoseok didn’t like that thought. Or maybe the woman had said something. Or Jimin—what if he did it again? His horrible drunken behavior...
“Did something happen?” Namjoon asked. They were all well-aware that the women Jimin usually picked up, while being drop-dead gorgeous, also tended also to be venomous.
“Not really.”
“Did the woman say something to you?” Jin asked.
“Nothing I didn’t already know.”
Before they could ask anything else, they heard the sound of a woman’s loud, high-pitched laughter filter down from upstairs. Moments later, Jimin and the woman were walking down the stairs with Jimin keeping one hand lightly on her back. The woman leaned in and whispered something into Jimin’s ear. He responded with a simple noise of agreement. They reached the bottom of the stairs and Jimin tried to direct her to the door. The woman turned and started walking towards the kitchen.
“Aren’t you gonna offer me breakfast? Or at least coffee?” she whined.
“I wasn’t planning on it.”
The woman either didn’t hear Jimin or just pretended she didn’t. Once in the kitchen, she spotted everyone sitting at the table.
The woman sauntered over to them. She saw Jiyoung, who hadn’t bothered to look up from food. “Oh, look. If it isn’t ‘no one’.” It was then that the events from last night started filtering in for Jimin. Like being hit by a car. He felt sick, remembering the words he had said to Jiyoung. He didn’t know why he said that, he hadn’t meant it at all. If anything, she was too much of a someone to him. He felt horrible that he had said it. Jimin panicked and tried to pull the woman back towards the door. The others quickly realized that the woman must have called her that last night.
“Jimin, what’s your whore still doing here?” Hoseok spat venomously.
“What’s you just call me?!” the woman screeched.
“I’m sure you’re not deaf,” Hoseok responded.
“No, but she might be having trouble understanding with her IQ,” Namjoon remarked.
“True,” Taehyung added.
The woman was livid. She wrested her arm out of Jimin’s grasp and stomped to the table. Thrusting her finger at Jiyoung, she said, “Then she must be quite the good fuck to have all of you defending her.” JiEun stood up and slapped the woman hard.
“Unlike you,” JiEun spat, “she doesn’t have to whore herself around in nothing more than a strip of cloth just to get guys to pay attention to her. You may not be aware of it, but people who aren’t sluts can have friends who defend them just because they’re friends. Without sex as a bargaining chip.”
Jimin finally managed to get a hold of the woman. “Get out,” he told her.
The woman looked at him in shock. Then her mouth turned into a sneer. “The bitch gonna put out for you too since you’re defending her now? Or are you just trying to make up for what you said last night?”
“Out!” he bellowed. The woman flinched.
“Fine. Go have fun with your little slut. If she’ll even talk to you again.” She turned to the door. “I’ll see you next time,” she said into Jimin’s ear before giving it a small nip. Then she was gone.
Jimin slammed the door behind her. He leaned his head against the door. He hated himself for letting everything happen. He had told Jiyoung she was no one. She had been told similar things for several years while she lived at the house she had finally escaped from. His words led to someone else saying the same. Seeing Jiyoung’s face this morning, he knew that she must hate him. He had broken whatever trust she had in him and had probably ruined it for the others as well. He couldn’t forgive himself. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“We need to talk,” Jin said, his tone left no room for argument. But Jimin wasn’t ready to deal with that now. He shrugged off Jin’s hand and stormed off to his room. The sound of his door slamming sent a deafening silence throughout the house. Through all of it, Jiyoung continued to eat robotically.
“Well, that was something,” Jungkook said trying to lighten the mood. Jiyoung stood up and took her dishes to the sink. When Jin tried to catch her attention, she brushed past him saying ‘Not now’.
Jiyoung went to the JiEun’s room and let herself collapse onto the bed. Thoughts raced through her head. Jimin had been drunk when he’d said what he said. From her experiences with her father’s drunken nights and her mother’s reactions to them she knew that drunken words fell into two categories: truthful and hurtful. Sometimes, like last night, the categories appeared to overlap. But why would he want to say something so hurtful. His actions this morning seemed to suggest that he regretted what he’d said the night before, a phenomenon she was not used to.
Then she thought about how the others had defended her. She had felt like crying when JiEun had called Jiyoung her friend even after she was being cold to them. Maybe they were all pretending. But maybe they did think of her as their friend. Jiyoung wasn’t sure what to think. Then she heard the door open. Jiyoung was lying on her stomach, head on her arms, facing the wall. A couple seconds later, she heard JiEun throw herself on the bed next to her. The other girl sighed.
“Are you bothered by what that woman said?” Jiyoung shook her head. “Then Jimin must’ve said it too, huh?” Jiyoung didn’t respond. “That’s what I thought. But you should know, Jimin’s really stupid when he’s drunk, especially if one of his women is involved. He’s said things to a few of the guys before. Things that he didn’t mean and that he didn’t remember having said until the next day.” JiEun sighed. “I know him being drunk is no excuse for saying something like that. But, I thought you should know that he didn’t mean it. And I could see how much he’s hating himself for it.”
She continued. “But that’s not all of it, right?” Jiyoung finally turned her head. “The only time you stopped eating was when I said you were our friend. Did you think differently?” Jiyoung’s eyes darted to the side guiltily. “And that’s why you were being like that this morning. If you were no one to him after he was so kind and caring then you wondered if we all felt the same.”
Jiyoung hid her face in her arms. “I’m sorry. “
“Don’t be.” Jiyoung looked at JiEun in surprise, eyes watering. “I want to be mad at you for thinking that. But I realized that someone doesn’t learn to mistrust out of nowhere. I’m sure that the things you were put through made it to where you easily doubt people. I was pleasantly surprised that you trusted us so quickly in the first place.” Jiyoung felt her hastily constructed walls start to crumble again.
“You’re not mad at me?” Jiyoung asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“How can I get mad at someone just learning how to trust again?” Jiyoung let out a short sob before burying her head back into the covers. JiEun scooted closer and laid part of her upper half on Jiyoung’s back and hugged her. “I know it’s hard. But don’t worry, we’re patient. Or some of us are.” Jiyoung’s upper body bobbed up and down with what JiEun recognized as laughter. “See, you’re laughing already.” Jiyoung used her free hand to playfully swat at JiEun, making the younger girl join her in laughter. Jiyoung rolled over onto her back, forcing JiEun to move. JiEun curled back onto her. Anyone seeing the two of them would have thought they really were sisters.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. It opened a crack before they heard Jin asking if it was alright to come in. JiEun said yes and Jin opened the door all the way. Jin looked at Jiyoung hesitantly. Jiyoung smiled embarrassedly and Jin’s mouth widened into a grin.
“You’re not mad anymore?” he asked.
“I wasn’t mad in the first place. I was just being stupid is all.”
“That’s not possible. You’re too smart to be stupid. Maybe a little misguided…but not stupid.”
Jiyoung smiled and opened her arms for a hug. Jin instantly obliged. Once again, Jiyoung felt comfortable in his arms.
“Y’know, you two really suit each. You should’ve met a long time ago,” JiEun said while laughing. At their questioning looks JiEun clarified. “If Jin had met you sooner, he probably wouldn’t have felt as lonely without his sister. And if you had met Jiyoung sooner, she would’ve had someone to help her with her family. All of us are glad to have met you, unnie, but I think Jin is the one you’re really meant to be here for. In a totally brother/sister way of course.” The two laughed.
“I wish I had met him sooner too. All of you guys. Maybe then you would’ve met me before I became so messed up.”
“Shush, you,” Jin said ruffling her hair. “You’re perfect as you. So don’t worry.” Jiyoung felt guilty about her doubts last night. She was still hurt by what Jimin had said, but now she understood a little better. Once she wasn’t hurting so much from it, she would talk to him. “Well,” he said, forcing himself to leave her arms, “we were gonna start cleaning out the study, if you want to keep us company.”
“Let me wash my face and I’ll join you.”
When Jiyoung stepped into the study, she understood what JiEun had meant when she called it an organized mess. There were four desks, each against a different wall. One desk was almost completely empty. Jin had said that Yoongi did most of his work while at work, so she guessed that one was Yoongi’s. The others were surrounded by stacks of papers, books, and folders. Various writing instruments were scattered everywhere along with crumpled pieces of paper. When she entered, Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s eyes turned to her. Yoongi returned to what he was doing, apparently not bothered by her earlier behavior. Hoseok, on the other hand, looked hurt and he quickly turned his attention back to his work area. Jiyoung caught Jin’s and JiEun’s eyes and the two nodded and left, leaving her alone with Yoongi and Hoseok.
“I’m sorry,” she said with her head lowered. Neither of them responded. “I’m sorry for the way I was earlier...I jumped to conclusions and took out my own insecurities on all of you. So...I’m really sorry.” Still no response. She glanced up to see both of them still turned away from her. She let out a resigned sigh. “I understand. I’ll keep apologizing as long as it takes.”
“We’re not mad at you,” Yoongi finally spoke up. Jiyoung looked up at them. Yoongi was facing her now. “We already talked downstairs before JiEun talked to you. Everything she told you was how we feel. We understand your situation. Though I will admit I was a little hurt.” At the last part, he smiled letting her know he was teasing her. She smiled back. She figured he was not one to initiate hugs, so she did instead. He squeezed her extra tight just to make her laugh. When he let go, she turned to Hoseok. He was leaning against his desk, simply watching her.
Even though she was supposed to be sorry for earlier, she couldn’t help but also feel shy as he looked at her. She was a little troubled that she couldn’t read him at that moment. It was just as well, because Hoseok wasn’t sure how he felt either. He was, of course, hurt like everyone, but his feelings also went a lot deeper than that. He didn’t like that Jimin had had such a strong effect on her. He wondered if, even after his warning, she was developing feelings for Jimin.
Hoseok was already at the point where he knew he really like Jiyoung, but he knew it was also very likely that she didn’t return those feelings. He hoped that she would, but if nothing else, he didn’t want her to fall for Jimin or Namjoon. Even though Taehyung was well-known for his playboy antics, he knew his cousin wouldn’t cross that line. Namjoon was the next one to worry about because he was almost as bad as Jimin, but as far as Hoseok could tell, Namjoon didn’t consider Jiyoung to be his type. On the other hand, Jimin had already shown his feelings towards Jiyoung. And even if Jimin truly did like her, Hoseok knew that years of being a playboy didn’t disappear overnight. Jimin would almost definitely not be able to commit to one person.
Finally, Hoseok opened his arms. He questioned himself if it was really possible that Jiyoung seemed a little more than eager to hug him. He stopped thinking when her arms wrapped around him. He lowered his head and was lost in her intoxicating scent. He wondered if it was possible to be drunk off of that alone. Eventually, perhaps reluctantly (he dared to hope), she started to pull away, and he loosened his embrace. He thought that maybe her cheeks looked a little pinker than before. And that’s when he really noticed that she had changed over the last week. Her cheeks were a little fuller and her eyes a little less sunken. There were probably other things that he couldn’t see that had changed as well.
“W-what’re you l-looking at?” Jiyoung stuttered. Hoseok thought it was cute.
“Seriously, dude. It’s a little creepy,” Yoongi teased. Hoseok already knew Yoongi suspected something, but he wondered exactly how much he knew.
“Sorry, I only just noticed that you look healthier than when you got here,” Hoseok remarked, absentmindedly running his thumb along her cheek. Right after, her cheeks turned bright red and she looked away. Hoseok laughed. He couldn’t help how cute she looked. “Look, hyung.”
Yoongi stepped closer. “Huh. Guess I didn’t notice ‘cause it was gradual. Leave it to you to really pay attention.” It was Hoseok’s turn to blush a little. “Ji-ah said she bought your clothes a little big just for this reason. Guess it’s already needed.”
“Oppa,” Jiyoung huffed pretending to be offended, “are you saying I’m gaining weight?”
“Yep,” he replied without hesitating. He ruffled her hair. Hoseok’s eyes flashed with a little jealousy. Yoongi quickly held his hands up in surrender. Jiyoung looked between the two, confused. Yoongi just laughed. “While we clean, if you’re wanting to talk to the others, you might want to do it soon before they leave on their own errands.”
“Thank you. I’ll do that.” She smiled and left, a small bounce in her step and her heart still beating fast from her encounter with Hoseok. Just outside the door, Jin and JiEun were waiting to hear the results. At Jiyoung’s smile, they both smiled with an ‘I told you so’ look.
Now, she need to see if the others could forgive her as well.
Okay, so I want to finish up this not-so-actiony story part so I'm actually going to upload the next chapter tomorrow. Then I'll be back to my Saturday uploads until I finish. I really hope to finish before Christmas break because I'll be packing and then going home for two weeks. I'll still have my laptop with me, but I'll probably be spending more time with people that I haven't seen in 9 months and won't get to see for who knows how long after that so I'm not sure how much work I'll get in. Plus, Christmas and New Year's and all that. A lot of stuff coming up. But anyhow, I hope you're still enjoying the story. Next chapter is tomorrow. See you then.
Thank you to @Mavis2478 for this story.
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