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Hellos! As promised, here is Chapter 12. I wanted to wrap up the slow little story plot and move on to some fun. The next chapter will be on Saturday. I hope you enjoy!
Thank you to all of you who are reading, liking, clipping, following, and commenting.
Disclaimer: Many of the characters aside from BTS are made up and BTS themselves are not BTS in this story. And, of course, I don't know the BTS boys personally so their personalities are probably mostly fictional.
Character thoughts are in { }.
Please let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged.
Beginning: Chapter 1
Previous: Chapter 11
Word Count: 3436
Warning: May contain mild language, small trigger warning
Narrator POV
Jiyoung grew nervous as she walked down the other hall. She decided that Taehyung would be the easiest to talk to, so she went to his room first. She did her usual routine of knocking on the door, this time with her own knock. JiEun told her that every person had their own knock, like a signature, and had suggested that Jiyoung create one. She created her code and used it for the first time now. As soon as she knocked, the door was thrown open and she was pulled into a hug.
“You’re feeling better now?” Taehyung asked without releasing her. Jiyoung nodded and enjoyed the warmth of his hug. They stood like that for a couple minutes, Taehyung holding her tightly as if reassuring her that everything was okay. “I was hurt at first...” Jiyoung pulled back from the hug and looked him in the eyes. His eyes showed everything.
Jiyoung gave him a sad smile. “I’m sorry,” she said as she began to stroke his hair. Taehyung closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.
“I never had siblings,” Taehyung started to speak, his eyes still closed, Jiyoung’s hand continuing to move. “I only had Hoseok. And then I had these guys. I don’t stick with one girl because then that would mean she could get too close to me. The closer people are, the more they can hurt you. Isn’t that right?” Taehyung opened his eyes, their gazes locking. Jiyoung understood completely.
“The more power they have over you.”
“The deeper their words can wound you.” Jiyoung wondered what had happened to Taehyung to make him as untrusting as her. “Ji-ah is the only girl I’ve let close to me. Her being Yoongi-hyung and Joonie-hyung’s sister meant that I automatically trusted her. You’re the first outsider I’ve let in in a very long time.” Jiyoung felt both honored and guilty. “I can understand why you were like that though. I can truly understand it. But I hope that in the future, you’ll be able to trust us more... The way I trust you.” Taehyung’s eyes were practically pleading with Jiyoung. Jiyoung pulled him back into the hug.
“I’ll try. I swear I will. You can understand me on this so you know how hard it is. But I swear I’ll try. I have to. You guys are basically all I have left. This bizarre bond we have... we can’t even explain it, but I know now that we all feel it. And if, after knowing this, I still can’t trust you then... I’m not really living...”
Taehyung squeezed her tightly. Since meeting her, he had felt that bond. Like she fit right in. And she felt like family. He liked the fact that Hoseok liked her. He wanted his cousin to find a girl that wouldn’t break his heart. And he wanted Jiyoung to be happy as well. She was family to him now. And he knew that Hoseok could make her happy as long as she was willing to let him in. Jiyoung felt like a real ‘noona’ to him. He wanted to keep her with all of them.
“I understand.” He pulled back from the hug. “And the others do too. Jimin...We’re very similar. The way we act with women. The way people judge us. All of us... I think we’re bonded because we’ve all suffered in some way. And we all react differently. Namjoon-hyung, Jimin-hyung, and me...we’re similar. Drowning our pain in a similar way. On behalf of Jimin...please forgive him. I saw the pain in his eyes when he realized what he had done. He really cares for you. I’m not sure if it’s the same way I care for you, but the feeling is just as strong. He won’t forgive himself. But...when you can...please try to forgive him.”
Jiyoung stroked his hair one last time. “Unless you already have.” Jiyoung gave Taehyung a look that he could easily read. She had forgiven him and she knew that he was hating himself. She was giving him time to calm down and herself time to figure out what she needed to say. “I’m grateful we found you, noona. Only someone like us can understand us. And somehow you managed to still be so forgiving.”
“Hate is a useless emotion. It takes time and effort and eats away at your soul. The people who basically kept me prisoner...I don’t hate them, I pity them. Pity is more powerful and shameful to those receiving it and it doesn’t hurt the ones giving it. That’s why it hurt so much at first. I thought you guys were pitying me. But I can see that it’s deeper and more pure than that. Empathy. Because you guys know... I’m thankful that you guys found me and that you’re so patient with me. Even through everything. The bad thoughts keep trying to make me doubt, and sometimes they win. But I’ll fight hard. I promise.” Taehyung gave her his boxy smile and Jiyoung felt her heart warm up even more. He was such a sweet kid, even through everything that had happened to him and that he did. He was a sweet kid covering his pain.
“You should talk to Kookie next. He’s the sweetest one of all of us. He’s quick to hurt, but quick to heal. And he’s probably worried about his brother.”
“Okay. Thank you, Taehyung.” She grasped his hand for a second before letting go and walking to Jungkook’s room. Similarly to Taehyung, Jiyoung knocked her code onto Jungkook’s door. After a few seconds, she opened the door slightly and called for Jungkook. There was no answer. She opened the door wider and looked in. Jiyoung didn’t see Jungkook at all. The bathroom door was open and the light was off so she figured he wasn’t in the bathroom. She sighed deeply. She had already missed him. She would have to find out when he was coming back.
For now, she moved to Namjoon’s room. She knocked on his door. Jungkook opened the door as if he had been waiting for her. Instead of pulling her into a hug like Taehyung, he looked over her cautiously, as if trying to gauge her emotions. Jiyoung smiled softly and said, “I was afraid I had missed you”.
Jungkook let out a sigh and finally hugged her. “I was worried you’d stay mad at us.” He murmured into her shoulder.
“I’ll tell you what I told the others. It wasn’t your guys’ fault, it was my insecurities. That’s all. I just needed someone to reassure me. I’m okay now.” Jungkook pulled back.
“Are you...are you mad at my hyung? I mean, I can understand but I just—“
“It’s okay, Jungkook,” Jiyoung quickly headed him off. “I’m not mad. I’ve talked to the others. While I’m not happy about it, I understand.”
“Then—can you talk to him please?” Jungkook pleaded with her. Jiyoung admired how much Jungkook loved and worried about his brother.
“Jungkook.” She put one hand on the side of his face, calming him. “I’ll talk to him soon. I don’t know if he’s ready yet, but I’ll try.” Jungkook’s shoulders visibly relaxed.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I love how much you care about him. But for now, I’m worried about you. Are you okay? I was being so stupid this morning.” Jungkook smiled.
“It’s okay. Once I heard the reason, it made sense. When he’s drunk, hyung somehow seems to only say the things that hurt others and himself the most. No being soft. He goes for the worst punch.” Jiyoung nodded in understanding. “Hyung…he really cares for you.”
“I know,” Jiyoung replied.
“No you don’t,” Jungkook mumbled.
“Namjoon!” Namjoon appeared beside Jungkook.
“You look surprised. It is my room after all,” Namjoon remarked.
“I knew that, Jungkook threw me off.”
“Hey!” Jungkook feigned offense.
“Well, you did. I thought you left already.” Jungkook looked like he suddenly remembered something.
“Oh, actually, I need to get ready to leave. You guys talk.” And Jungkook dashed out of the room. Jiyoung laughed as she watched him rush.
“I guess that makes it my turn,” Namjoon said. Jiyoung turned back to him. Namjoon appeared to be as unperturbed as his brother. Namjoon hugged her gently, as if he were afraid he might break her. “You don’t need to say anything either. I already know.”
“’Cause you’re a genius, right?” Jiyoung teased.
“No. Because I understand.” Namjoon looked her in the eyes.
“Taehyung said you were all bonded through your suffering. And that that’s probably why we became attached to each other so easily.” Namjoon made a noise of agreement.
“But I’m curious...” Namjoon’s eyes bored into Jiyoung’s, making her a little nervous. Then they roamed across her face, seeming to take in every detail. Namjoon wanted to understand what about her was making Jimin behave so out of character. Namjoon was positive that Jimin felt more than feelings of friendship towards Jiyoung. But why? She was pretty, but not nearly as beautiful as the girls they all liked to pick up. Jimin never seemed to care about personality before either. Was it her purity? The innocence she carried about her? As if everything was new and scary, yet beautiful? Was Jimin falling for her or was he simply tempted by forbidden fruit?
“Namjoon?” Namjoon looked up to find Jiyoung looking at him nervously. Her cheeks were pink. From embarrassment or proximity? The longer he looked at her, the more tempting she was.
“Sorry. I just noticed how much you changed in only a week. It looks good on you.” He ruffled her hair, trying to force his mind to delegate her back into her sisterly role. Besides, there was already someone...
Jiyoung’s cheeks flushed a little more. “Thank you. Eating full meals really seems to be helping,” she laughed. “Jimin...” she paused after his name. “He recommended that I try working out a little to help build my muscle mass.”
“Sounds like good advice. Jimin’s definitely the one you want to talk to about that.” Jiyoung nodded her head. She wondered how long it would take for Jimin to talk to her again. “He just needs to know he’s forgiven. When he feels guilty, he really drowns himself in it. I can’t imagine he’d be ready to talk any time before tomorrow, but it’d be good for him to know you’re there.” Jiyoung nodded again. “Go ahead. I have somewhere to go soon anyway. Maybe after everything settles, we can all go for some ice cream tomorrow. Jiminie loves ice cream.”
Jiyoung laughed. “Sounds good. Thank you.” She hugged him again before leaving. Namjoon closed the door behind her. She took in a deep breath. {Last one. Will he be willing to talk?}
Jiyoung POV
I knocked on Jimin’s door. I waited a couple seconds and then tried the handle. Unsurprisingly, but still disappointingly, the door was locked. I jiggled the handle a couple times just so he knew I was there and then knocked one more time. The door stayed closed. I leaned my forehead against the door. Last night, when he had said those words, they had wounded me very deeply. I was still hurt in the morning. But I saw his face when he remembered what he had said. He tried to get the woman out and had even ended up yelling at her.
I had already been halfway to forgiving him even without hearing from the others. I hadn’t completely forgiven him yet, though. I had to hear from him. That was the last thing holding me back. The bad thoughts told me I was foolish for forgiving him so easily. They told me it was giving him permission to walk all over me the way my adoptive family had done. But the good thoughts, the ones I equated with my grandmother’s kind view of the world (even after losing her daughter and son-in-law), told me that forgiving was not weakness, but strength. And even more than the pain I felt for myself, I hurt for Jimin. I couldn’t explain what it was or why, but his pain brought me pain as well. {That’s how family feels, right?} {Is that all?}
I walked away from his door. I would try again later. I went back to keep Yoongi, Hoseok, JiEun, and Jin company. We had fun talking about silly things. I could swear that Hoseok kept looking at me, but every time I looked over, he wasn’t. Maybe it was just hopeful thinking. They filled a few boxes with all their papers and then labeled them. Each of us took a box downstairs. They told me they were putting it in their storage area next to the living room. They didn’t tell me it was in the basement. When I saw the steps, I froze. I couldn’t go in there. Even with the light on. The panic took over. The last thing I saw was darkness taking over.
I dreamed I was back home with them. My father pulled me out of the basement and against himself. They were back from their trip and he was already drunk. The smell made me sick. He told me to go to my room, it was time for bed. I heard the sound of the others going to bed. Ten minutes after, the lock turned on my door. The hand opening the door was clumsy. It was him and he was drunk and he was ‘accidentally in the wrong room’ again. I was lying on the edge of the mattress pressing myself against the wall. He stumbled on my mattress that was directly on the floor and tried to crawl towards me. I could smell his disgusting breath. If I just waited, he would pass out first. But his hand crept further and further up my thigh and I fought to keep from whimpering. If I moved at all, he would know I was awake and he might try something more than just touching. “Jiyoung,” he slurred, trying to wake me up, his other hand now crawling up my shirt. “Jiyoung.” Tears slipped down my face.
I finally managed to wake up, but I was still in the dream. He was leaning over me and I tried to scramble away, small whimpers escaping me. My movement sent me right into someone else. At first glance I thought it was HyunJung. Then I realized it was JiEun. And I wasn’t back in that place, I was at my new home. Where I was finally safe. JiEun was gripping me in a tight hug and saying something in my ear that I couldn’t really hear at first.
“You’re okay. You’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you anymore.” I finally heard the words she was saying. I looked up at her.
“There you are,” she smiled. I looked around and found myself in JiEun’s room. The boys were gathered on one side of the bed looking at me with concern. Jin was sitting on the edge of the bed. He must’ve been the one I had mistaken for my father.
“What...what happened?” I asked, separating myself from JiEun. I was a little anxious to have everyone staring at me.
“That’s what we were gonna ask you,” Jin said. “You scare the hell out of us. You just suddenly stopped in front of me, dropped the box, and fell to the floor. You were rocking back and forth with your hands over your ears repeating over and over ‘I promise I’ll be good. I promise I’ll be good. Just please don’t make me go back.’ for a minute or so. Then you just passed out. You’ve been out for a while.”
I managed to sit up completely. “I don’t remember that. I just remember...” The basement. A felt a shudder pass through my body. I felt the panic creeping in again. Jin grabbed my hand.
“Don’t think about it anymore. We won’t ask until you’re ready. Just take a slow breath.” I didn’t realize I had been holding it. I let it out slowly.
“I’m sorry for being such a hassle. It seems I’m always causing problems.”
“That’s not true,” Hoseok argued.
“Okay, maybe a little,” Yoongi teased. I let out a small laugh.
“But see how easily you come back around?” Taehyung spoke up. “You bounce right back.”
“Sometimes...” I mumbled. Sometimes the darkness took me for a while and I did bad things. But I couldn’t let them know. I was sure I looked crazy enough as it was.
I looked over at the time. It was 8:30. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it’s this late. I’ve ruined the whole day.”
“No you haven’t. We just had an excuse to be lazy,” Jungkook said laughing. He jumped onto the bed next to me. “To make up for it, you’ll just have to let us sleep here for the night.”
“Yah! You pervert,” JiEun yelled, trying to slap his arm. Jungkook easily dodged.
“You guys just finished cleaning out the study. So why don’t we throw a whole bunch of pillows and blankets in there, move a TV in there, and just have a slumber party,” Taehyung suggested, wiggling his eyebrows. I didn’t know what a slumber party was.
“Aren’t we a little old for slumber parties?” Namjoon chastised.
“What’s a slumber party?” I finally asked. Silence. {Did I ask something wrong?} I looked at them, only then noticing that Jimin wasn’t there. I guess it shouldn’t have been a surprise.
“You’ve really don’t know?” JiEun asked. I shook my head in confirmation. “Then maybe it’s not such a bad idea. Just so you can’t say you’ve never had one.” Taehyung made a sound of excitement and jumped on top of Jungkook. JiEun and I tried to dodge their playful fight.
“Hey, you guys, knock it off,” Hoseok berated. I laughed at the boys’ antics. Taehyung somehow managed to get Hoseok involved and a second later Hoseok was laying on top of me, his face in the crook of my neck. Everything froze for me as electricity shot through my entire body. All I could feel was his breath on my neck, his body laying cockeyed between my legs, pressed tightly against me. An unfamiliar, but far too pleasant feeling spread throughout my body. Hoseok slowly used his arms to lift his upper half off of me, his lower half pressing that much more forcefully against mine. His wide eyes made contact with mine and I could see that he was surprised at least as much as me. There was another look in his eyes. I didn’t know what that look was, but it twisted my stomach into knots even more than it already was.
Reality came crashing back in when Namjoon’s voice cut in, full of obvious amusement. “Are you gonna get off of her or should we all just leave the room?” Hoseok’s eyes went back into focus and started darting around as if trying to figure out where he was. Part of me found it funny that we were both lost. Hoseok quickly clamored off of me.
“Taehyung threw me on her. I swear he did it on purpose.” Taehyung just shrugged his shoulders. Did he really do it on purpose? I looked at Jin to find him staring at Hoseok, murder in his eyes. I found it all to be absolutely absurd and couldn’t help when I burst out laughing. At first, they all looked at me like I was crazy, but very quickly, they started to join in.
“Well then.” I wiped the tears of laughter away. “Shall we get started?” Taehyung and Jungkook quickly ran out. The others followed, though with less hyperactivity. Jin was the last one left, aside from JiEun of course. He walked to me and ruffled my hair.
“I’m glad you’re okay now,” he told me. “I was really worried. Sometime...when you are more comfortable here, I want to know more about you. I want to make sure that something like this never happens again, okay? Is that okay?” I nodded my head happily. Part of me already wanted to tell him and the other part was cautious. If he knew how bad it was for me, maybe he’d decide that I was too much for him to handle. The bad thoughts kept saying things like that. “Alright then. I guess I should grab my pillow. A grown man at a slumber party...” I giggled when I heard him mumbling the last part under his breath.
So here's that. And a little bit of background on the boys and Jiyoung. Bonded by hurt. My friends and I are the same, lol.
Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed it. I'm gonna post some stories for the contests this week, but for this story, I'll see you next week!
Thank you to @Mavis2478 for this story.
Tag List <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
1 comment
Jin is going to be sooo over protective, though I bet the other guys will continue to give Hobi the push he needs.
@JaxomB that would be a fair bet, lol. I love brother Jin, lol