8 months ago
BabydollBre
in English 1,308 Views
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Pay attention part three
Who: Reader x ??? What: Angst-ish Story: Was asked for a third part I said I was going to do it a while ago but got distracted.
After saying you loved Kiseok, things should've gotten better. You two spent months in secrecy meeting up and sleeping together but Seonghwa and you had drifted apart. You kept trying to meet up with him and even start a conversation but he kept avoiding you. The more he avoided you the more alone you felt. Kiseok and you weren't talking much, it was more sex than anything. He'd dove into his newest album and while you were used to being pushed away because of his work this seemed like he was just using you when he needed a fix. You were starting to get irritated with the charade and you found yourself regretting taking him back. "Tobi you give that back right now!" You called to your dog as he ran off with your towel. Kiseok was asleep next to you but when you called to Tobi he began to stir. "What are yelling for?" He mumbled. You didn't answer, you stood up to go get Tobi and your towel. Your recent irritation with him had caused you to pull away. Even after sex, you turned away from him. You barely curled up into his arms anymore. Talking to him seemed like a task, you don't know what happened but maybe your love wasn't real love after all. You pulled your hair back and bent down to pull the towel away from Tobi. You came back to the bedroom to get your phone and Kiseok was on it, "Here she is now." Kiseok said when you walked in. He held your phone out to you, "It's Seonghwa." He said. You held back the smile that wanted to form. He'd called you back after you'd left a million messages on his phone. You walked back out of the room closing your door and said, "Seonghwa, you finally called back." "You sound happier than usual." He chuckled a little. "You've been avoiding me, I think I should be happy you've called." You said. "I'm not avoiding you I'm just busy." He said. You were silent for a second because you knew that was a lie. "It's been three months since we last hung out and you expect me to believe that?" You said. "Look Y/n I'm calling back to check up on you aren't I? What do you want me to do? I need time to get over you and being around you all the time just doesn't help." "So, what? Am I just not allowed to see you anymore or talk to you?" "Do you understand how hard it is for me to be around you knowing you're with him?" He snapped quietly at you. The tone he took hurt you but you could hear how much he was hurting as well. Tears built up in your eyes, tears you didn't want to spill and you didn't think he deserved. It wasn't because he snapped but those tears would've made him feel guilty and you would've made him feel worse. You couldn't do that to him. You heard him sigh frustrated on the other side of the phone. "I love you. I'm in love with you and it's killing me because I know I shouldn't be. Not when you love him, not when he's my best friend but- everytime I see you I just want to kiss you. Everytime I see him with you I just want to push him away. Those feelings aren't right. Yet still I think you shouldn't love him; you took him back even after finding out he cheated on you before he broke up with you. You still love him and- that's hell for me." "If I'm causing you all this pain then you're right we shouldn't talk anymore." "Y/n." He said as if to tell you don't do that. You quickly said, "Goodbye Seonghwa." You hung up and threw your phone on the couch. You ended up walking back into the bedroom where Kiseok was putting his clothes back on. "You had to walk out to take that call?" He asked You walked past him and went for your bathroom. You were just about to close the door when he pushed it back open. "What did he want?" He asked. You were looking at the corner of the sink and then you looked up at Kiseok, "He wanted to say goodbye." You answered and pushed the door close. He left just after that. Three months of silence from Seonghwa, three months of non stop sex from Kiseok. No one to pay attention to you, just you blending into backgrounds as a dancer, a nobody. Insecurities you had let Seonghwa know about but you hadn't told Kiseok about now started to resurface. Seonghwa was right you took Kiseok back even after he cheated. You swore no one else would be able to do that to you. You swore you'd never get back with a man that cheated because you'd been cheated on so many times. You also swore you wouldn't fall in love maybe the problem was that you weren't in love. You liked Kiseok, you had told him that many times but the only day you told him you loved him was when you two got back together. He'd said it a few times but then he stopped. You hadn't said it since. How could you love someone you didn't know? Kiseok liked candy, well food in general, he was an amazing artist and he had the cutest scrunchy face. He was great in bed but he was always busy, he wasn't like he used to be. He didn't like hiding that you two were together but you weren't all that enthusiastic about letting the public know you hooked up again. The fact of it all was this time you were becoming increasingly aware of what wasn't working. How often had you two spoken to each other? You two flirted, that was the basis of your relationship. You flirted with him and he flirted back and you had sex and then you ate. He'd come over and play with Hamtaro or Tobi but you two were professional in front of everyone else. Anytime you were alone the only talking you two did was dirty and moans would fill the room. This wasn't a relationship this was a co-workers with benefits deal; the only thing was that you were supposed to be all his and he was all yours. His jealousy was less, he barely noticed anything about you anymore. So this was where you two were. Another month and a half passed and it was as if Kiseok and you weren't even seeing each other any more. It was like back when you two were over. Jay saw you hanging out in the hallway taking a drink of water and he came and patted you on the back. "Y/n have you been feeling okay lately? You've seemed down." Jay asked. You brushed your hair out of your face but wouldn't make eye contact with him. "Um yeah, I'm fine." "Are you sure?" He asked. He placed a curled finger under your chin to lift your face. "You look dog tired." He said. "I haven't been sleeping all that well it's fine." You said. "Alright you don't want to tell me I won't force you but just take it easy okay. I don't want anything happening to you." He said. You nodded and thanked him before walking back to the practice room where you originally were. You started dancing again, you were covered in sweat and you had spent a few days like this already. You'd lost weight from the lack of food and the amount of dancing. Your abs may have been on point but your health was not. Kiseok was distant, Seonghwa and you stopped talking and you felt alone and paranoid. You felt like Kiseok was cheating, you felt like an idiot for taking him back, you were questioning if you loved him truly or not. You were running thoughts in your head and when you messed up you threw your water bottle at the mirror and sat down frustrated. You felt like you lost everything. Tears of frustration came streaming down and you willed yourself to get a grip and fast. You didn't want to cry you didn't even want the tears to manifest. You stood back up and worked your routine again. You actually had a separate gig coming up, a little contest that you were entering and you were ready to show the world your skills and show AOMG your real potential. Hours had passed until other dancers had to come and practice for Gray's performance. You were just sneaking out when he was coming in. You looked up and saw him then looked away and went to walk past him but he grabbed your arm. "You're not taking care of yourself." He said. He could tell just by the first sight, you had dropped a lot of weight for him to notice the change since you two hadn't actually been in the same setting for a month and a half. You tried pulling your arm back. "It's nothing to worry about." You said. "Y/n." He said softly. "You have practice, you've already interrupted mine don't let that be in vain." You said sarcastically. You pulled your arm away from his hand finally freeing yourself. "Y/n stop this, I know you're upset but you're acting like I don't care-" "Are you still in love with me?" You said. He looked taken a back and then slightly ashamed. You nodded, "From my understanding it was that we shouldn't speak or be around each other until those feelings died. I'm only doing what's best. Speak to me when you don't love me anymore, yeah?" You moved past him quickly, the cruelest you'd ever been to Seonghwa. You felt alone and he wanted to help but you wanted to push him away. You wanted to push both boys away. You wanted to disappear into the background when they appeared. You were walking past one of the studios when you decided to stop in to hear what was keeping Kiseok so busy. When you opened the door, you heard it alright but it wasn't the sound of music you wanted to hear. It was the moans of two other women. You watched them sucking and kissing him until he saw you. You gave a humorless laugh and walked out. You'd think they'd choose a different place to do it but nope that was Kiseok's thing. He did it any where he felt like doing it. Apparently he did it with anyone he felt like doing it with. "Y/n wait." He called after you. "Fuck you." You shook your head with a laugh. "Y/n stop." He said grabbing your arm. "Get your fucking hands off me!" You yelled as you whipped around to look at him. "Listen to me." he begged. "There's nothing to listen to, let go." You said. "Not until you listen to me." You slapped him across the face. He let go of your arm then. He placed his hand to his stinging cheek. "Quite honestly I can admit I was the fool this time. We're through, I'm not doing this anymore. In fact, you know what-" You threw off your pass to get into the building and threw it in his face. "You and your sluts don't have to see me again." You turned and stormed off. Jay had come out off the bathroom probably hearing you yell and said, "What the hell is going on?" "I fucking quit." You said moving past. You heard him question it but he didn't follow, no one did and you were grateful for that. You didn't go home, you couldn't just yet, at the risk of Kiseok showing up there. You headed to the liquor store instead and you got a bottle of alcohol. You drove up close to the bridge and walked down it. You drank from your bottle looking out at the place. This stupid scene, the same scene from his Pay attention music video. Your character left him for Gray...Maybe you should've really done the same. You slipped your head phones in and started singing to the music dancing as best you could in your drunkenness. Dean's Bonnie and Clyde playing and making you feel so good for some reason. A smile coming to your face and the pain melting away into the bottle you drank. "I want, want you to know baby I want you to know how much I love you. How much I need you." You sang. You turned to see Seonghwa walking up the bridge to get to you. "Gray!" You screamed happily drunk. You came over to him stumbling and tripping he caught you in his arms, "Whoa, whoa." He said. "Come dance with me, come on come on." You said laughing drunk. You grabbed his hands moving around and manipulating his hands. He called your name and pulled back towards him. "Y/n come on I need to take you home." He said. "No. No I don't want to go home I want to stay and dance." You said. "Y/n you're drunk and you'll hurt yourself come home." "No." You snatched your hands away from him. You turned and pranced down the sidewalk of the bridge. "Y/n I knew you'd be here but at the very least I though you'd be sober. Why the hell would you go and quit the company?" He said. "Because- fuck you and Fuck him. Jay's been very good to me I'm grateful to him actually but the rest of you can go suck dick-wagons." You said still dancing. He came up closer to you and wrapped his arms around you and brought you close to him. He restricted your movement despite you struggling to get him off of you. He brought you in tighter. "Fuck! Seonghwa let me go!" You said now upset at him. "Y/n listen to me. Kiseok isn't worth throwing everything you worked for away." You shook your head crying without meaning too. "No I hate you of both. He cheated and you abandoned me. You can't just ignore me for months and act like you care now. He never cared and- get off! Get off I hate you!" You said angry. "Y/n I didn't abandon you I just needed-" "Oh no you just needed space and time. You know if you bring them together you can make a continuum? Get the fuck off of me." You said pushing his arms off of you. "Fine." He said He quickly let go of you and you lost your balance and fell on your ass. You gave another humorless laugh and sipped the remains in your bottle and then threw the bottle at Seonghwa. "You're both such dicks! I was never in love with him. I was never in love I just liked getting fucked by him. God he could make a mess of me and whisper sweet shit like a pro. He can make anyone believe a lie as stupid as love. What the Fuck is love anyway? Such a useless fucking emotion, you only get hurt. The entire world thrives off of sex not fucking love. See they know the truth; they know love is bullshit. Ask Jay, he only raps about sex and why not, it sells right?" "So are you just going to keep rambling like an idiot on the ground or are you coming home?" Seonghwa said. "Fuck home and Fuck you I didn't ask you to come here and get me." You snapped at him. "I came here to make you feel better." He said upset. "Oh fuck that shit you came here just to rub it in my face. For months I told you I missed you, I told you I wanted to hang out and you just ignored me and treated me like I didn't exist." "I called you back didn't I?" "Only after you left me!- You were all I had!- You would've been the first person I came too after this happened." You said. You stood up on your feet angry. You stumbled a little but caught your balance just so you could glare at him. "If you had come to me I wouldn't have been able to behave Y/n I keep telling you this. Do you know what you do to me?" He said. "What do I do to you huh Seonghwa? I'm beginning to think that's just your excuse to stay away just like Kiseok's fucking excuse to get back with me was so that you or anyone else for that matter couldn't have me. What do I do to you Seonghwa? Am I doing it to you now, am I killing you from the inside?" You ranted off pissed. "Yes damn it! You are killing me from the inside, you are hurting me because you keep saying you hate me and telling me to fuck off and all I want to do is fucking kiss you. Is that what you want to hear Y/n? Do you want to hear that I want to make love to till your screaming my name and you only want me? Do you want to hear that I'm so in love with you I'll scream it at the top of my lungs from heaven to hell? What do you want Y/n, what do you actually want?" He said just as pissed. "I want you." You let tears drop from your eyes. He came up to you quickly and cupped your face and crashed his lips onto yours. You gripped onto his shirt and ran your hands through his hair. Your kiss was hot and heavy and for a second you broke the kiss to say, "I want you to stay with me." He chuckled, "From your lips to God's ears." He said He slipped his tongue back into your mouth ignoring the heavy taste of alcohol on your lips. He picked you up and took you back to his car. "I need to get you home." He said. He closed your side of the door and you fell asleep...
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-takes back the bananas- gotta go clean these so i can give them as a gift to gray... yay!
8 months agoReply
30
distracted with those damned intros... Bre this was Sooo good!!!! why not end it on a 6, or an 8??
8 months agoReply
25
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@FromBlue2U 馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀 maybe
8 months ago
waaaaaaa 馃槩馃槩馃槩馃槩
8 months agoReply
20
Yeah, I hope Kiseok isn't at the house, that hoe should stay with his hoes or at least tell Jay that he effed up and that its his fault I quit
8 months agoReply
11
lmfao 馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀
8 months ago