As you walked by the students in the hallway, everything felt like deja vu. Even with your eyes focused on the ground, you could tell that their eyes followed you wherever you went. They observed your every action, as though waiting to pounce once you make the smallest mistake. You didn’t need anyone to tell you, you already knew what had happened.
You strolled into the classroom, ignoring the stares of your classmates as they whispered to each other and gave you dirty looks. As much as you wanted to run away, to hide and cry all alone, you knew that Jimin needed you. And this was the most you could give him, for now. You kept your eyes on the seat next to Jimin, loudly placing your backpack down too announce your arrival, to make sure that he knew you were there for him. Unsurprisingly, he kept his gaze on the desk, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. He had been doing this the past few days, he looked like he was lifeless, like a machine forced to carry out the bare minimum to get through a day.
You looked around the room, seeing everyone glaring at you two. Scanning through the room, you found her sitting at the front of the class, as she always did, happily chatting away with her friends. She acted as though nothing had happened between her and Jimin, as if he didn’t mean anything to him. Whether that was a front or not, you couldn’t care less, it would only further hurt Jimin, something that you couldn’t afford.
Jimin was once again carving his nails into his wooden pencil, you could see the thin layer of yellow paint being scratched away and onto the desk.You could tell that he was writing something, or so you wanted to think. You wanted to believe that Jimin was just occupied with some task, any task, as long as he was focused on something other than the gossiping students.
You felt the eyes of the classmates continuing their death glares by the way your cheeks flushed in embarrassment, the rush of blood running through your veins in anger. As much as you wanted to flee the scene, abandoning the affairs that you had never wanted to be a part of since the beginning, your heart ached for Jimin. You knew that as much as you were frustrated by Jimin’s rash decisions, you still wanted to be there by his side when no one else would. Like he did for you.
You sighed loudly, preparing the most intimidating look you could and staring back at the crowd of students that had now gathered at the back right corner of the classroom, probably in a heated discussion over what had happened between the three of you. The minute their eyes met yours, they flinched back, surprised that you were finally fighting back. You couldn’t help but smirk and roll your eyes at their idiocy, turning away and sliding onto the stool.
Pointing your forefinger out, you gently poked Jimin’s tummy, sending flashbacks through your mind as you remembered the distant days when you would have tickle fights with him.
“Yah!” Jimin yelped in reflex, jumping in his seat and immediately diverting his attention from the pencil to you. “What’re you doing Y/N?” His eyes widened at the sight of you attempting to make conversation with him for the first time since forever.
You cocked your head to the side, “what do you mean?”
Jimin’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, he dropped his pencil out of his hands, as you watched it slowly roll towards the end of the table. You knew it was just a pencil, but you couldn’t help but feel as though you had to prevent its downfall, like it was as precious to you as Jimin. Before it could fall, you reached over and grabbed the pencil.
“You haven’t been talking to me for a week, Y/N. I’m sure you know exactly what I mean…” Jimin slightly shook his head to the side. His eyes narrowed at you, unsure of your intentions and what you had up your sleeves.
“Do you want me to leave you alone? For you to fend off all the horrifying gossips and terrifying students? By yourself? I’m not going to leave you alone, at least not now…”
Jimin winced towards the end of your statement, his hand flinched as he clutched tightly onto the pencil when you returned it to him. Out of the blue, he went right to business, looking at you straight in the eyes, “I broke up with her.”
You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, you could feel the anger within you rise, waiting for the best time to explode. “You… what? I thought I told you not to!” You nearly yelled aloud, but immediately lowered your voice before anyone could hear.
“Yeah. And I don’t care, it’s my feelings, I can do what I want with it.”
“I didn’t think that you would actually do it! Is this why everyone is hating on you? I thought it was because you told her about your… your feelings, not because you broke up with her!” you smacked his chest, but he barely budged.
“No, I did what my heart told me to do,” Jimin simply and clearly stated, his eyes seemed to be lost in yours, forever gazing into the deepest depths of your soul, looking for an answer.
When you continued to gape at him, your jaw wide open in shock, he continued, “look, it wasn’t easy for me, Y/N. I have morals too, I know what I was doing was wrong. But I just didn’t love her anymore, I don’t even know if I ever loved her-”
“-you did. You did, Jimin,” you interrupted him, to bring him back to reality. He was clouded with illusions, in denial over his change of heart. You had to remind him of the truth, the fact that he was once in love with a girl, a girl that wasn’t you.
“Okay, even if I did, I don’t anymore. I haven’t in awhile. I just didn’t realize that the one I truly loved was the one that stuck by my side all this time, the one that I unknowingly tortured all this time…”
You rolled your eyes and clenched your hands into fists in frustration, “for the last time… Park Jimin, you never loved me. As one of closest friends, I just feel obligated to remind you of the truth… Stop pitying me, and get your head straight. You loved her, not me. You kissed her, not me. You dated her, so quit telling yourself otherwise!”
At this point, Jimin was sighing loudly and his breathing quickened, you could see the constant rise of his chest. Without breaking eye contact, he reached for his pencil pouch, dumping all of his staples onto the desk, “you want proof?”
Your eyebrows knotted in confusion, what in the world was he doing? As each pencil dropped towards the table, you felt a slight pierce in your heart, the sound of the pencils hitting the tabletop made you cringe. You looked over all the spilled pencils, seeing carvings on each one of them.
Jimin’s small hands grabbed a bunch of pencils, as you looked back at him and raised your eyebrows, questioning his actions. “Do you see what’s on this?”
To your shock, you found your name messily carved into the wood. You could tell that it was Jimin who had written them, no one but him could write in such illegible font.
Seeing that you were silent, Jimin tightened his grip around the pencils, “I’ve been writing your name, on anything, pencils, papers, tables, everything, you haven’t left my mind since forever. I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t do what my heart tells me. I can’t stand seeing you alone, watching me love someone else, my heart just can’t stand it…”
“It’s just how life works, Jimin, we don’t get everything we want…” you muttered, unsuccessfully trying to comfort him.
“I know. I know, and that’s why you’re not mine. That’s why we still aren’t accepting our feelings for each other, it’s why we’re still not together. I-I,” Jimin’s voice was breaking down, as he stumbled over his words and his sobs interrupted him. “I just… can’t you accept my feelings for you? After all my pain and confusion, can’t you just acknowledge my affection?”
Tears were flowing out of his eyes, your heart ached over his pitiful yet painfully true words. Hesitantly, you reached your hands over to gently wipe his cheeks. The second your hands made contact with his cheeks, his hand reached up and grabbed yours, securely taking yours in his. You yelped in surprise when he dragged you away from the table, running past the group of students that seemed immersed in their usual gossip, too busy to watch you and Jimin.
You didn’t know where he was taking you, but you had no complaints. You had waited for this moment so long, you had put your feelings and desires away for so long, you just couldn’t wait any longer. You ran along with Jimin, hand in hand, passing through the endless streets.
It seemed like you two had been running for forever, when he finally stopped in front of your house. He turned towards you, huffing and puffing from the sprint. Your lungs struggled to keep up with the pace that your heart was pumping blood throughout your system. Both of you bet over and put your hands on your knees, trying to catch your breath.
“H-here is where I… I first felt something for, for you…” Jimin managed to declare in the midst of all of his panting. He pointed at the spot you two were standing now, but you couldn’t remember what he was talking about.
“Don’t remember? I figured…” Jimin laughed throughout all of his hard breathing, “It was at the most random time, it’s crazy how I still remember the exact moment I felt sparks. I was walking you home when you suddenly smiled, you smiled so radiantly… I remember feeling like you were as bright as the sun, I remember that at that very moment,” Jimin took a moment to take a deep breath.
“I fell in love with my best friend, the one who silently stayed by my side through it all,” he sweetly smiled as he ran his hand through his hair, tilting his head to the side as if waiting for a response.
“What?” you couldn’t help but laugh at the absurd moment, at the nonsense that was spilling out of his mouth. Both of you erupted in laughter, like the old times. Before you could reply, Jimin took your hands into his, intertwining his fingers with yours like the way you had always wanted him to. Your eyes gazed at his small hands that so perfectly fit yours, every curve and every indent, you knew that it was meant to be.
“It’s silly, but I’ve come to realize that I’ve fallen for the stupidest and quirkiest things that you do… the way you tie your hair in a messy bun, the way you smile and look away when your eyes meet mine, the way you blush whenever my hands brush yours. How you look when you’re at your lowest, when you need me the most, when you wear just your pajamas, or how you ramble about the dumbest things in the world… everything,” Jimin’s smiled from ear to ear, his eyes formed the thinnest lines that it nearly disappeared. He smile was so radiant and bright, you thought that he resembled the sun. It was as though after saying all of his inner thoughts aloud, Jimin had brushed the burden off his shoulders, happy that you were acknowledging his feelings for once.
“I mean, I don’t know what to say,” you laughed, shrugging your shoulders, when Jimin suddenly brought your connected hands to brush your cheeks against the back of his hands.
“You don’t have to say anything. I don’t need an answer now, just know that I’ll be waiting for you.”
“This… this isn’t right, Jimin. You know how much I love you. I just don’t want people to think bad of you, I don’t want you to do something wrong…” you mumbled in disappointment, looking down at the ground.
With your hands still in his, Jimin brought his hands to the bottom of your chin, tilting it up so that you were now looking into his eyes.
“It was wrong of me not to realize my feelings earlier, Y/N,” he whispered, each and every word hanging in the air. “Just one day, Y/N, can we just be together for just one day? Can I love you to my heart’s content for just today? Can I show you just how much I love you, just how much I have always loved you?”
He gently smiled, one side of his lips slightly higher than the other, his eyes forming flawless arcs. You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, even though he didn’t say it, you could already feel all the love and thought he had poured into these words, into this very moment.
“Alright… just one day.”
For today, you would allow Jimin to love you, you would allow yourself to love him. Just today, you told yourself repeatedly. Jimin smiled in content, taking a step to completely closing the distance between the two of you. He rested his chin on your head, burying his face into your hair and inhaling the familiar scent of you. Leaning backwards, he gave you one last reassuring smile, his white teeth shined, perfectly pairing with his blinding, beautiful expression.
Closing his eyes, once again, he closed the distance between you two until his lips met your forehead. Your heart was beating so fast, you could feel Jimin’s heartbeat against your chest, as it synced up with yours. You squeezed his hands when you felt butterflies fluttering in your stomach, trusting that he was feeling the exact same magical feeling. You felt his plump, soft lips part against your skin, as he mumbled sweet nothings for just you to hear.
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