7 months ago
lovrodney
in English · 489 Views
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Changmin - Tears
Hearing the password of the apartment being accepted, you quickly shuffled from the kitchen to the doorway as Changmin came in through the door with a small smile on his face.
“I’m home” He says as you smile as he changes his shoes.
“Are you hungry, I made dinner.” You pointed into the kitchen as his head raised as he shook his head slowly.
“No thanks, some of the fans took me out to eat.” He said as he took off his coat and hung it up.
“The fans could have poisoned you.” You said softly as you looked at him a little shocked.
“Jagiya, it is ok. The food tasted really good.” Changmin smiled as he patted your shoulder “I’m going to go shower.” He moves around the corner as you just nodded as you felt tears sting your eyes. He went out and ate without telling you, and he said it was good, but you worked all day to try and get dinner just right for him.
After Changmin disappeared behind the bathroom door, you slowly walked into the kitchen as you sat on one of the empty chairs with a table full of food in front of you as you sighed and ate your food alone.
A song came from the shower as you smiled softly, yet you felt sad and hurt. Hearing the water hit the bottom of the shower, you sat there playing with your noddles as you felt your heart begin to crack into a million pieces. Cleaning up dinner, you listened to his sweet slow song from the shower as you kept your tears inside of you as you washed the dishes and put the leftovers in the fridge. Sighing every once and a while, your mind wondered to his fans and how much he has done with them and for them as you bit your lip to try and focus on another kind of pain.
Finishing with the dishes, you walked over to the arm chair as you picked up your drawing pad and just began to doodle and let your pencil try and express your feelings through its graphite. The bathroom door opened as the warm, humid air flooded into the rest of the house as he hummed as he grabbed his phone and sat on the counter as he smiled and giggled at what his fans had sent him.
Pushing harder with your pencil, you closed your eyes as you clenched your jaw together. A single tear rolled down your face as you wiped it away quickly.
The evening with just the two of you, it was quieter than usual. Usually, you would have been cuddling on your bed as you played with his hair as he told you about his day and about the other members as he slowly slipped off to sleep. But today felt way different, you didn’t feel like cuddling or doing anything remotely close to him. Peeking at him, he was smiling at his phone as his thumbs happily tapped against the screen as he paused and waited for it to send as the sound of the vibration came quickly as he was typing again.
Letting another sigh escape from your lips, you closed your eyes as your head rested on the chair behind you. The slightly loud sigh caught Changmin’s attention as he raised his eyes from his phone and looked at you with concern.
“Hey, ________ is everything ok?” He asked you as his phone buzzed away in his hands.
Managing to nod, you let out another deep breath as Changmin knew that something else was wrong. “Are you sure? It seems like something is wrong.” He says as you opened your eyes and looked at him.
“Why don’t you ask your fans that, they seem to know everything.” Your bitter tone struck him as you swung your legs to the ground from over the arm rest as you placed your sketch book on the floor as the pencil rolled onto the hardwood as you walked into the kitchen trying to keep the tears in your eyes.
“Why would I ask them how you are feeling?” Changmin asked you in confusion as he placed his phone down on the counter as the non stop vibration made you furious.
“They seem to see you more and know you better than I every could.” You gripped the edge of the counter as you watched your knuckles turn white.
“You’re my fan too, ________” Changmin says as you heard him slip from the counter as his footsteps got closer to you.
“You take better care of the fans than me, you see your fans more than me, you give them everything and I don’t get to see any of that.” You turned around as you found no use holding in your tears any longer.
“Jagiya” Changmin tried to console you as you shook your head and let your tears roll down your face as they picked up speed with the more tears you shed.
“You treat the fans better than you treat me, all I do is go to school and come home to an empty house while you are out eating dinner with them, taking pictures and giving them fan service.” Pausing, you licked your salty lips as you closed your tear blurred eyes just to open them again. “You treat your fans better than me, yet I am your girlfriend.” Your voice raised with your last phrase as you pushed past him, your shoulder brushed his as he looked over at you and saw that you were heading for the door. Running after you, he wrapped his arms tightly
around your waist as he slowly brought you against him.
“Changmin! Let me go!” You fought against his tight grip as he just held onto your tighter as tears began to brim his eyes.
“I’m not getting go until you tell me where you are going.” He said calmly despite the situation that you were in.
“I-I want to break up with you, Changmin.” Your voice didn’t shake as you were sure that this was the right move for you. “I want to find someone who treats me differently from everyone else, I want to be special to them.”
Changmin’s tight grip instantly let go as his heart dropped as you looked at him and saw a single tear running down his face.
“You can leave if you want to.” Changmin allows as his voice cracks from the sudden
emotions.
“Changmin…” You started to say something but then he cut you off quietly.
“I just want you to be happy, and if that means that I can’t be with you then I can’t be with you. Even though you are the only one that I want to hold when I am sad, the one that I want to come home to, the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Tears began to stream down his face now as his lip quivered at his emotions. “I love you.”
Looking at you tenderly, his words hit you like a ton of bricks.
Knowing that his fans wouldn’t see him in this state, and that the words that he just said were only to you, that he trusted you enough to show this weak part of himself to you made your broken heart flutter as you knew that there was no other place that would make you quiet as happy as in his arms.
Closing the space between you and him, you slid your arms around him as you rested your head on his chest. His fists, lifted as his fingers freed themselves from the tight grip just to pull you closer to him.
“I’ll make you happier and make you feel special. I promise you.” He sobs as you nod against his chest as both of you had tears streaming down your faces.
Lifting your head slowly, his eyes slowly opened as he felt you move within his arms that held you tightly.
“I’m sorry Changmin, I’m sorry I know that you love your fans an-” Your trembling words were cut off by his soft lips that pressed onto yours as he pulled away slightly to have his beautiful eyes look onto yours as you moved in and kissed his lips holding onto them longer as you moved your hands to his chest as you gripped the fabric of his shirt tightly between your fingers as he deepened the kiss, showing you how much he loved you and how much you mean to him.
The kiss was long and slow as both of you communicated without words. Your emotions spoke the same language as a spoken apology would have just ruined the moment between the two of you. With his fingers gently running through your hair and your lips dancing with his. Nothing could have been better than to help each other heal each others hearts through the soft touches that only love could hold.
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