a year ago500+ Views
“Will you be my girlfriend?” Yunho asked softly as you sat there almost in shock of what was unfolding before your eyes, gently reaching out, he took your hand in his and moved closer to you, slowly nodding your head, he smiled and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek.
– Changmin’s POV –
(The Day Before)
Sitting on the edge of my bed in the dead of night, I looked at your picture on my phone, you with me and Changmin lifting you into the air, you looked so happy, so beautiful just like rays of sunshine after the sun had been covered up by the clouds for a few days. So refreshing and new with such an excitement and passion to try everything new and exciting.
Sighing, once again, I zoomed in on your face and mine, my heart started beating faster, my thoughts slowly started to fade as I could think about was you and what you were doing.
Falling back on my bed, I knew that you were asleep but my mind so subtly kept reminding me that something was wrong, that something wasn’t right. Going through my day, I couldn’t think of anything I would have changed.
As I slipped under the covers, I thought of you once again, how I saw You and Yunho walking from the studio with his arm wrapped around your shoulder. Still feeling the cold glass under my hand, I so desperately wanted to slide between the two of you, trying to keep him far away from you as possible.
Rolling to my other side, I lifted my arm on top of the covers while I watched my clock tick slowly. Conversations of Yunho and I talking, we would always joke around to see who would get you first but the more I watched you interact with him, the more I felt like he was actually serious.
Flipping onto my back, I looked up at the boring ceiling, my heart’s soft reminder was becoming more of a pain in my chest. Placing my hand over my heart, the soft fabric of my tank top started to become bundled in the palm of my hand while I felt something growing. Something that I haven’t felt before, closing my eyes and shaking the feelings out of my body for the night.
Yet you came into my dreams, telling me that you were leaving me after you didn’t even know my feelings, with my heart racing and my mind winding I couldn’t fall asleep, no matter how hard I tried.
The sun shone brightly into my room as I looked up and saw what state I was in, my blankets no longer on my bed as my clothes were wrinkled and tightly pulled against my body. Running my fingers through my hair all night long made a new style of its own.
Thankful that it was morning, I sat up, glancing over at the time, I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and placed all of the blankets on my bed once again. Making it look nice and neat, I headed into my closet to try and distract myself from the feelings that were embedding themselves in my heart.
With a simple yet classy outfit on, I grabbed my phone and headed to the quietest yet most distracting place that I could think of. The library.
The cracks of the sidewalk passed under my feet with every few steps, just letting my thoughts take their natural path, I found myself thinking of you once again. Rolling my eyes, I opened the large wooden door with black iron detailing.
Slowly, the large, old door closed behind me as I walked past the front desk. My eyes looked around me at the towers of books that waited for a reader to open their pages. Shelves that made the Library into a beautiful maze, I just stood there in awe as my feet started to move me around the quiet place.
Touching the bridges of the books and reading the titles on the binding, all the many stories and words that the authors had painstakingly typed for an unknown person to peer inside of the author’s mind.
Knowing not to judge a book by its cover, I pulled a book from the dusty shelves, carefully running my hand over the cover, I read the title once more before I took a chance and started to read the first page.
My eyes moved from top left to bottom right, carefully taking in the words as the little letters that formed words and sentences made me imagine things that I never would have thought.
Settling myself on the floor, I finished the book in under three hours, unable to put it down, I read from cover to cover before I placed it back in its rightful place on the shelf.
Walking up onto the second story and into a different section of the library, I was reading the titles, once more, before two people caught my eyes. Peeking through the space between the books and the next shelf, I saw you and Yunho together, he had you by the hand while his other hand tried to calm you down by placing his finger against his lips.
Looking at you, it seemed like you had been running from someone or laughing so hard that you forgot to breathe. Watching you a little skeptical, I just tried to remain as quiet as possible.
“What are we doing here?” You whispered getting a little closer to Yunho.
“I needed to ask you something.” Yunho giggled trying to catch his breath as well.
“But… why here?” You probed a little more.
“Just to make sure that I wasn’t interrupted.” Yunho smiled as I watched the two of you turn and sit on a bench that was placed against the wall.
“This is a library.” You reminded him while looking around a little flustered.
“I know.” He smiled gently rubbed the back of his neck.
“No” I whispered to myself, knowing exactly what his next move was going to be.
Clenching my jaw together, my hand was already balled into a tight fist, ready to strike.
“Will you be my girlfriend?” Yunho asked softly as you sat there almost in shock of what was unfolding before your eyes, gently reaching out, he took your hand in his and moved closer to you, slowly nodding your head, he smiled and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek.
“No” I whispered audibly, almost feeling something plunge into my heart, I turned around, bracing myself against the large shelves.
“I will” I heard you reply. Just from those two words my knees buckled and I slid down against the shelf, landing on the floor while I heard you two giggle.
The shuffling of feet were heard next, watching you go by hand in hand. I knew that I had lost you. Sitting on the ground, which seemed like a few minutes, I slowly stood up sliding my hands into my pockets. I made my way down the stairs as my eyes looked up at the dusk light that was brilliantly bleeding through the stained glass windows.
“Thank you” I waved at the Librarian wishing her luck. She waved back but as I pushed open the heavy door, I couldn’t believe that you were finally gone. Slowly walking down the stairs, my feet took over and choose which way I should go.
“I should have told her” I mumbled to myself as I kicked a rock between my feet. “But I was too late.”
Tears started to swell in my eyes, but knowing that I shouldn’t have heard what I did, I bit my lip and focused on the rock that I was kicking. Looking up once and a while, I found myself walking to your place. Slowing my pace slightly, I watched the sun set across the horizon while the windows and glass around me reflected the sunset in such a different way than it was portrayed.
Taking in a deep breath, I arrived at your doorstep. Standing there, I wondered if I should actually see you now but I couldn’t move my feet from their spots. Not knowing it, I knocked on your door, the door opened and I was caught right in the middle of my thoughts but seeing your face made all of those insignificant thoughts vanish.
“H-Hi” I lifted my hand as you giggled and waved back.
“What are you doing here Changmin? I thought you were home already” You opened your home to me as I stepped inside.
“I-I just had something to talk… I mean… more like… aware you of.” I said not finding the right words that I wanted to say.
“Sure, my ears are always ready to listen.” You pulled at your ears cutely, making me laugh and easing some of my nervousness.
“Let’s come in and sit down.” You held my hand and pulled me inside, a smile was unable to be hidden from my face as I sat next to you.
“So what’s up?” You bounced in your seat as my hands found each other and I let my smile fade as I looked down in my lap.
“I-I just thought I should tell you something.” I told you again, not knowing whether I should go through with it or not. Glancing over at you, I saw you move closer to me as to encourage me to tell you.
“The timing might be horrible, but I am just going to tell you.” I warned but you just nodded your head. “I like you, a lot, more than a lot, I think I love you.” I glanced up at you and you froze.
“C-Changmi-” Your voice sounded like you were trying to reason with me so I cut you off.
“I know you got asked to be Yunho’s girlfriend, I was watching you in the Library, by accident, but I just wanted to tell you how I feel. I know that this is probably the last thing you want and that you just want to be friends and I am fine with that. Just… just know that my feelings won’t change for you and I don’t want Yunho to hurt you. I don’t want him to break your heart.” I started to become silent feeling my emotions start to bubble up to my eyes.
“I appreciate your honesty and you not wanting me to get hurt, but this is a chance that I want to take.” You told him, gently running your hand over his.
The room fell silent for minutes, as your thumb gently moved over my hand making me feel a lot better.
“Is that why you always tried to get between us and be with us whenever we were alone? Because you liked me?” You asked finally putting some pieces together.
“Not only that but I wanted to protect you from a love that wasn’t true.” I told you, lifting my head and looking into your eyes.
“Thank you, but I can handle things myself okay? I have to fall down and get back up again to learn from my mistakes.” You told me.
“But what if you don’t get up?” I asked still fairly concerned for you.
“Then you will be the first one that I run to.” You gave me a smile that I knew was just for me.
“Really?” I asked getting all excited and happy again.
“Really. I need the best wingman in the world to be by my side.” You smiled at me and I wrapped you in a tight hug.
“Thank you” I held you tightly as you wrapped your arms around me too.
“You’re welcome, but just know that you can’t protect me from everything okay?” You pulled away from our hug as I nodded.
“I’ll be around if you need me.” I reply as you nod.
Feeling my heart ease slightly, I still felt sad that you had found your happiness that didn’t involve me, but if you were happy then I was. Yet this love that I have for you will never end, I will always have your back and know that you are never alone because I love you.