SNBlackRose
10 months ago500+ Views
The Pains of Our Yesterdays C17- Realizations
Hey guys, next chapter is here. I finished writing, so from now on, I'll be putting out a chapter each on Wednesday and Saturday.

There is something extremely important to the rest of the story at the end of this card, so please read it.

I also have a card out about what story I may write next. Please check it out and vote. Otherwise, I'm not sure how I'll go about choosing the order.
That's all I'll say and I'll let you get to the story.
Thank you to all of you who are reading, liking, clipping, following, and commenting.
Disclaimer: Many of the characters aside from BTS are made up and BTS themselves are not BTS in this story. And, of course, I don't know the BTS boys personally so their personalities are probably mostly fictional.
Character thoughts are in { }.
Please let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged.
Beginning: Chapter 1
Previous: Chapter 16
Warning: May contain mild language. Trigger warning for talk about sensitive subjects.
Jin POV
The others wanted to stay up, but I insisted that they sleep. It was past midnight and the surgery looked like it was going to run late. I was still tired from giving blood, but the amount that I slept helped me to stay awake. In the middle of the night, a different doctor came in. We stepped outside to let the others sleep. The doctor told me the surgery was successful, as successful as they could hope, anyway. But it would be another couple hours before she could have visitors. And even when we were allowed in, she probably wouldn’t be awake for at least a few hours after.
“So how is her spinal cord injury? Will she still be paralyzed or...”
“Between the spinal injury and the head trauma, there are issues with the part of her brain and the signals that are responsible for walking.” I held my breath. “She’s not permanently paralyzed, but she probably will be for a little bit of time. With a lot of intensive rehab, she should be able to recover full function.” My breath went out in a whoosh and I next thing to collapsed onto a nearby chair. She would be okay. Ji—my SooJin would be okay. But—
“What about her brain injuries? She was in an accident before and was severely injured. She lost all of her memories. Did that... Could that...” I was so afraid to ask. What if she had forgotten about me again? What if she forgot all of us and everything that happened the last few months? But maybe that would be better. She wouldn’t remember the pain of her time with her adoptive family. All the things she had gone through would just disappear. Would it be better for her to forget?
“No. You don’t have to worry about that. Where her injury is is not near the part of the brain responsible for her long term memory. She may have some trouble with her short-term memory, such as walking into a room and forgetting why she was there, or forgetting something she was told a few minutes earlier. But the damage is minor so it won’t likely happen often. On the other hand, I already explained she would have trouble with walking. That’s the most problematic, but with hard work, it can be easily rectified. And she may have some trouble with impulse control. If she wants to do something, she will just do it or say it.”
I chuckled a little, I couldn’t help it. The doctor looked at me as if he was wondering if I had been hit in the head as well. “Sorry. It’s just, that last part, she already did. She just kinda blurted out whatever came to mind. With some control, of course. It was... funny...” The doctor let out a small chuckle.
“At least you can find the silver lining.”
“It must be a family thing... Thank you, doctor. And please thank the surgeons and other staff for me. I’m sure they’ve gone home after such a long ordeal. And the donors... She wouldn’t be alive without them. Thank you.” The doctor and I bowed politely. He turned to leave, but stopped and turned back. “Is there... something else?”
“About her being your sister...That might be something you should wait a few days to tell her. She’ll have enough trouble not being able to walk, too many changes could make things more difficult for her.”
“Mm. Makes sense. Thank you doctor.” And then he left. I sat back down in the seat. It was so much to take in. I wanted to be happy, but I felt like being happy would almost belittle everything Jiyo—SooJin had gone through. And that was another thing. I would have to call her Jiyoung for another few days, but then I’d have to get used to calling her SooJin. My SooJin. I thought back to everything since she had been with us. The little things that made me feel like she was SooJin. It was silly now to think that we even entertained the notion of her being possessed by SooJin’s spirit. Everything just seemed impossible at the time.
Jiyo—SooJin, dammit. It was going to take time. I didn’t even know how to call her. For now, I figured that I should probably stick to Jiyoung until we told her. So Jiyoung… she told us that when she lost her memory, the doctor said she retained her muscle memory. It’s how she was still able to walk and talk, do every day living activities, even with no knowledge of how she knew. And it explained all her quirks that reminded me of SooJin. Her love for cooking, her favorite color being pink, the way she sounded like SooJin whenever she called me oppa or laughed, her facial expressions whenever she was really happy or sad or confused... how she knew our secret knock. Because her muscle memory helped her to retain some of her personality.
The door to the room opened and Taehyung came out. When he spotted me, he sat next to me.
“You’re crying,” he said. “Did something happen?”
“She’s out of surgery. She’s okay. She needs rehab, but she’s okay. My sister’s okay...” I felt his hand on my shoulder.
“I’m so happy for you, hyung. You finally found her. Even though everything and everyone told you she was dead, you refused to completely give up. You had hope. And now she’s here. Your sister is here and she’s alive and she’ll get better.” I was too tired to cry anymore so I just sighed happily.
“Yeah. I found her. She’ll get better.” Then I thought about what else it meant. “I wonder if she can forgive me for not finding her earlier. For letting her stay in that horrible place for so many years. For not being her big brother and protecting her.”
“Don’t do that to yourself,” Taehyung stated firmly. “You can’t do that. Just be happy now. Jiyoung... I don’t know how long it’ll take to get used to calling her SooJin. SooJin would never blame you. Even not knowing, she’s already said it’s not your fault. You’re not to blame. Don’t make her into someone petty. She loves you even without knowing you’re her real brother.”
“Thanks, Tae. You can be mature when you want to be, huh?” I teased.
“Oh, thanks so much, hyung. If you act so surprised every time, you’ll hurt my feelings,” he laughed. I ruffled his hair. All of them were like family to me. Maybe that’s why I felt so attached to Jiyoung the second I saw her. Something in me must’ve recognized her, even if I didn’t. Just then, Yoongi came out.
“That’s where you are,” he said as soon as he spotted us. “I saw you were gone and got a little worried. Is everything okay?” I nodded.
“Is everyone else still asleep?” I asked.
“They started waking up.”
“Then let’s go in. I’ll explain what the doctor told me.”
Jimin POV
Jin, Taehyung, and Yoongi came back inside and everyone was either awake or trying to wake up. Jin explained what the doctor told him. Relief washed through my body. She would be okay. God or whoever had been listening had pulled through after all. And I would hold up my end of the promise... Jin told us that we should continue calling SooJin ‘Jiyoung’ for a little while longer until she had a chance to recover mentally. That was fine, calling her SooJin would take time to get used to anyway. And the fact that she was Jin’s sister was all the more reason why I had to stay away from my feelings for her. Jin almost never said anything about my behaviors, as long as they didn’t affect the others, but I knew it would be different if his was sister involved. No matter how much I loved her and stayed only with her, I knew Jin would not approve. My history wouldn’t be a problem for him, he would encourage me to follow my heart... as long as it wasn’t with his sister.
We tried to pass the next couple of hours by talking about random things: work, memories, Yoongi’s girlfriend that he had now been seeing for about a month, anything to keep our mind off of things. Then a nurse came in and informed us she could now have visitors. We couldn’t get there fast enough. The nurse said normally only one at a time was allowed, but we had special permission (I’m sure thanks to Hoseok) to go in together as long as we weren’t loud. We walked in.
I thought I was prepared for the sight, but I was completely wrong. And judging by the sounds the others made, I wasn’t the only one. It felt like my heart was being torn apart as I watched her lying lifelessly in the bed. She had multiple IVs connected to her and wires and tubes practically covered the entire upper half of the bed. Her head was wrapped in gauze and there were multiple small bandages on her face covering the more major cuts. But there was plenty of damage still visible. Hot tears ran down my cheeks. How could this have happened to her? Jin walked up slowly. He lightly brushed along the side of her face. I knew all of us were hurting to see her like this.
“Unnie...” JiEun barely more than whispered. Then she broke down sobbing. Jungkook held her in a tight hug whispering words of encouragement in her ear.
“Ji-ah,” Namjoon said, his voice cracking slightly, “you can’t cry like that. She can hear you. You have to be happy. And tell her how happy you are that she fought so hard. You have to encourage her and tell her that you’re not sad.”
“Tell her that she still looks beautiful,” I heard Hoseok murmur next to me. Hoseok was right. Through everything, she looked like an angel. Even with her now very pale skin and dark circles under her eyes, the bandages and cuts that littered her face, the oxygen tube resting firmly in her nose, the brace around her neck, and the large bandage wrapped around her head, hiding her beautiful hair from us, she still looked beautiful. Was that what love was? Thinking that she was still beautiful even through all the damage?
We all took turns whispering something in her ears, holding her hands where they weren’t wrapped. At my turn, I held her hand tightly. I leaned down and whispered all the things I wanted to tell her. “I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for fighting. Thank you for living. Thank you for making me happy in the short time since we’ve met.” And the hardest part. “You stayed alive. I love you. Please wake up so you can be happy. With your brother... And with Hoseok. He loves you. You should make him happy.”
I couldn’t help the urge to kiss her. I gently pressed my lips to her cheek, just beneath a bandage. She felt so warm. I closed my eyes and savored this small moment. Only a second, but it would have to last me a lifetime. I had made a deal. And I had to hold up my end. I reluctantly pulled away and moved back for Taehyung to have his turn. I caught Jin’s and Hoseok’s eyes. Neither looked mad, they just... understood. At least part of it. They didn’t know what that kiss really meant to me. I looked away. I didn’t feel guilty, just resigned.
Narrator POV (for the sake of avoiding confusion, she will be referred to as Jiyoung until the others decide to tell her she is SooJin)
Extra chairs were brought into the private recovery room. None of them wanted to go anywhere until Jiyoung woke up. A few hours after they first went in, Jin noticed her fingers start twitching. He stood up and walked to her bed. The others followed suit.
“Is she waking up?” JiEun asked anxiously.
“I don’t know,” Jin replied. “Her fingers started moving.” Right then, they saw her eyes move slowly beneath her eyelids. They all tensed up. Jiyoung fought against the anesthesia. Her eyes opened just a sliver before closing again. Each attempt helped her to open her eyes just a bit more. Jin pressed the nurse call button. Finally, her eyes fluttered all the way open and stayed open.
“Oppa,” came her raspy voice. Jin felt tears slide down his cheeks.
“Yes, S—Jiyoung-ah, oppa’s here. All of us are here.” Her eyes roamed languidly over the other figures in the room. She was lost. The last thing she remembered was running. Why was she lying down? Why did she feel so sleepy? And why did she hurt so much?
“Oppa... what... happened... where...” She had trouble forming words. Something was wrong.
“You were in an accident. You’re in the hospital now,” he told her slowly. Her brain seemed to be working on its slowest setting. It was taking her too long to understand anything.
“What... acci...dent...”
“You were hit by a car. They brought you to the hospital. They had to perform a few surgeries. But you’re okay now. Everything’s okay.” Everything was not okay. Jiyoung knew something else was wrong, but she couldn’t seem to place it.
A nurse came in. “Is every—Oh, she’s awake. I’ll inform the doctor. Don’t give her anything to drink yet, even if her throat’s dry. Wait for the doctor.” The nurse rushed out. The nurse’s words made Jiyoung realize how dry her mouth and throat were. She licked her lips.
“Made you thirsty, huh?” Taehyung asked playfully.
Jiyoung chuckled lightly. She tried to nod, but her head hurt too much. Hoseok saw her wince.
“Are you in pain?” Hoseok asked, his face and voice showing his concern.
“Mm.”
“I’ll tell the nurse,” Jungkook said, running out of the room. Everything was still fuzzy for Jiyoung, but it was starting to clear.
“How long...”
“It’s been almost a day,” Jimin answered.
“A day...” her thoughts became a little clearer. Jungkook came back in.
“The nurse is talking to the doctor. They’ll give you something soon.” Jiyoung was hurting, but she wanted to sit up a little more. She reached for the button on the bed. She stopped, just staring at her bandaged hand.
“I don’t think you should sit up,” Namjoon said. Jiyoung huffed in annoyance, causing the others to laugh lightly. She felt a small itch on her right foot and tried to use her left foot to scratch it. Her eyes widened and her breathing quickened. She tried again. The others could see something wrong, Jiyoung looked like she was starting to panic.
Yoongi grabbed her hand. “What’s wrong?”
“My legs.” {Oh shit}, the others thought. “My legs. I can’t—move my legs. Why can’t I move my legs?!” By this time, she was crying and her breathing was quick, short bursts. She started to hyperventilate. “Oppa,” she looked at Jin desperately. “Oppa! Why can’t I move my legs?! Why can’t I move my legs?!” She started trying to pull off the covers. Her frantic movements were causing the IV in her arm to start moving. Blood started coming out of the site. Jiyoung’s voice was still raspy, but they could tell she was almost at the point of screaming. Yoongi quickly pinned Jiyoung’s left hand down and signaled for Jin to do the same on the other side. Jiyoung started thrashing, now in a full-blown panic attack.
The nurse ran in, alerted by the spike in her heartrate. “What’s going on?!” she yelled.
“She just started screaming because of her legs. I think she’s having a panic attack,” Jimin, who was also panicking, told the nurse.
“Be careful. But try to keep her from moving too much. She can worsen her injuries. I’ll get a sedative.” The nurse bolted for the med room. Twenty seconds later, the nurse was back with a tray in her hand and four other nurses in tow. The nurses took over for Yoongi, Jin, Jungkook, and Namjoon, who had been holding her down. They quickly injected the sedative. The others watched as Jiyoung’s movements became more and more languid before she stopped moving and finally settled into unconsciousness. They breathed out a collective sigh of relief.
“Don’t worry, she’ll be okay. By the time she wakes up, the rest of the anesthesia should be worn off. That’s probably why she started panicking. The medications are pretty potent. But just make sure to keep a close eye on her, okay?” They nodded in agreement. “The doctor was just in with another patient so he’ll be here any minute.” Then she excused herself. True to her word, the doctor came in a couple minutes later.
“I was informed of what happened. If you guys are going to stay here with her, please make sure to keep a close eye on her. I’ll be upping her pain medications to help her when she wakes up again. Are all of you okay?”
They all nodded. “Just a little shaken up,” Jin told the doctor.
The doctor hummed in understanding. “I do have one more question though. It’s a sensitive question and I didn’t want to ask until I was sure she’d make it...” They all looked at the doctor questioningly. “There’s not really a gentle way to ask, so... Before the accident, did SooJin seem... depressed?” They looked at each other.
“What do you mean?” Namjoon inquired cautiously. He already had an idea what the doctor was suggesting.
“I mean, did she seem like she was having troubles? Or did she talk about dying or anything of that sort?”
“She’s been happier in the last few months than she’s been in the last 11 years,” JiEun informed him, not quite grasping what the doctor was suggesting.
“If you’re insinuating that there’s a possibility that her accident was anything more than an accident... that she tried to kill herself by jumping in front of a car, you should stop now,” Namjoon responded through clenched teeth. He couldn’t believe the doctor would suggest something like that. The others started were in an uproar.
The doctor held up his hands. “Look, it’s something I have to ask.”
Hoseok spoke up. “There’s no reason you have to ask unless...” {Unless she had a history of suicide attempts}. Everyone quieted.
“I’m sorry. It’s in her medical records. We have to ask. The police reports listed them as accidents, along with a few other incidences of obvious abuse, but she was flagged.”
“When? How?” Jin asked, his heart aching.
The doctor looked at his notes. “2011, she ‘accidentally’ overdosed on her adoptive mother’s sleeping pills, supposedly mistaking them for headache pills. Of course, even if that were the case, with as many pills as she took, she would have overdosed on those too. Her stomach had to be pumped. 2014, she ‘accidentally’ walked out into the middle of a crowded intersection. She was clipped by a car, but someone pulled her from the road. And at the end of 2015, she somehow managed to ‘accidentally’ hang herself while apparently trying to change a lightbulb in her basement.”
“Those sons of bitches,” Jin growled. All of them felt the same. They each silently decided that the first thing they would do when Jiyoung got better was to find her adoptive family and the doctor that cooperated with them and make sure they were punished to the full extent of the law. And if it was too late for that, they would make them pay in other ways.
They all assured the doctor that something like that wasn’t anywhere in the realm of possibility anymore. She was away from those people and she was very happy. The doctor could see that these people really did care for her. He was happy that someone with as dark a history as hers had managed to find such friends, or family. He left after informing them that Jiyoung would likely be out for at least another hour or so.
“She didn’t tell you?” Yoongi asked Jin gently.
Jin shook his head. “I had no idea it was that bad. Maybe... she felt too embarrassed or she didn’t trust us.”
“That’s not it,” Hoseok assured him. “She told us a lot of things that required her trusting us, that would be considered embarrassing for her. I think... I think she just didn’t want to worry us. She told me... that it was bad enough for her to want to, but she never said she actually tried. I think she just didn’t want us to feel bad.” The others voiced their agreement.
“My SooJin... Our Jiyoung...”
They settled back into their seats. They were silent most of the time until Jiyoung started to stir again. They all immediately jumped back up. This time, Jiyoung was quicker to recover her wits.
“What happened?” she asked, her throat still dry and raspy. The nurse said that she couldn’t drink anything until she was completely awake.
“What do you remember?” JiEun prompted.
“I woke up earlier... and talked to you guys. I think... you said there was an... accident. Then...” She looked down at her legs. Jungkook and Jin were on either side of her this time, ready to keep her still if she started panicking again. “Can I have some water?”
“Let me check with the nurse,” Jimin said and left.
“Oppa... why... can’t I move my legs? Am I...” The words caught in her throat.
“Just for now!” Jin almost shouted. “I mean. You’re not really paralyzed, it’s just that you can’t really move them yet.”
“What’s the difference?”
“This,” Taehyung said, pinching her legs under the covers.
“Ow!” she yelped.
Namjoon spoke now. “The fact that you can feel that means that you’re not paralyzed. But...”
“You’re going to need a lot of rehab,” Yoongi finished.
Jiyoung let out a sigh. “That’s okay then... I can do that. If I didn’t have to work for it, then it wouldn’t be life. I wouldn’t be Jiyoung...” A palpable tension passed through the others. “What?”
“What what?” Jungkook poorly tried to cover.
“What just happened, that’s what. You all got a funny look on your faces.”
“We’re just happy!” JiEun emphatically declared. “You’re alive. We thought you were gonna die, but you’re alive. We’ll make sure that your life isn’t hard for you anymore.” Jiyoung gave her one last suspicious look before giving up.
Jiyoung gave them a small smile. “I’m glad I have you guys. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Jimin came back in with a pitcher of water, a cup, and a small medicine dropper.
“The nurse said that you can have water, but we have to use this medicine dropper thingy. They don’t want you moving your neck too much before they take the brace off tomorrow.”
“Good. My throat’s killing me. Can I please have some?” To their surprise, Jimin handed everything to Hoseok. Hoseok just stared until Jimin thrust the items at him. Hoseok finally took them and set them on the bedside table. Jimin settled back in the corner of the room. Jiyoung sent a questioning look at Jin and Jin just shrugged. Hoseok gave her some water and Jiyoung made small noises of appreciation. Hoseok really wished she wouldn’t do that.
“Aaahhh...” Jiyoung opened her mouth again. Everyone laughed. “Not funny. I’m thirsty,” she whined. “Ah!” she demanded. With another round of laughter, Hoseok gave her more.
Jimin spoke up from the corner. “Not too much or she might throw up.”
“Ok, mom,” Jungkook teased. Jiyoung started to laugh before going into a coughing fit.
“Are you okay?” they all asked with concern.
Jiyoung gave herself another few seconds before answering. “I’m fine. My throat’s just dry.” The others went into another fit of laughter. Jiyoung watched them. She was scared, but she felt safe. She had her friends now. And there was one more thing Jiyoung felt: relieved. She had finally figured out who she was in love with.
***

Important Information Below!!!

That's right guys, it's revelation time. Who is she in love with?
Drum roll please!!!
*spits out water everywhere* Holy- I said drum roll, not body roll. Almost gave me a heart attack.
Now please, drum roll.

Alright!

Here's why it took me so long to finish writing.

YOU CHOOSE!

That's right. Both of them have stolen people's hearts, as well as my own. So, I wrote deviating stories for each of them.
Now here are the important things:
The titles. I will title the cards for Jimin's path "J- The Pains of Our Yesterdays" and Hoseok's path "H- The Pains of Our Yesterdays".
Because the characters are stuck in the same situation, there was only so much I could change, especially the beginning parts. Because of this, I highly recommend you choose only one path to follow at a time. If you try to read both, you will find that a lot of it follows the same path. Later in the story, it will deviate more as more options become available for the main character.
I tried to keep the chapters within the same time frame so that certain events or occurrences are not spoiled in one path or the other for people who are choosing to read both at the same time.
I will remind people for the first few cards that this is occurring.
I really hope you don't find this to be a way of "taking the easy road" for making the character choose. I really believe that both Jimin and Hoseok should be given their chances. I apologize if you don't agree with me, but that just means choose one path and stick with it.
That's it for this part.
I do want to remind people that I am hoping to start writing a new story soon. I have the four possible stories explained at the bottom of this page. I would really appreciate any feedback. If I don't hear anything that will allow me to arrive to decent consensus then I'll decide one of two things: I'll ask a random friend to choose or I'll post the first chapter for each story and let the number of likes do the talking. I can see that I have a lot of silent readers, which is fine because I'm the same, so I think one of these two options may be the best choice. I'd prefer to not do the second option because that means it would be that much more time for some of the stories to have a break between the first and second chapter. So please let me know. Thank you guys.
I'll see you all on Wednesday.
Thank you @Mavis2478 for the story.
My taglist <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Bruh Squad
4 comments
better be both of them. i can't take one being heart broken just LOVE THEN BOTH. POLYGAMY IS FUN. lol
10 months ago·Reply
Yay for both!! lol😆 I know you gave us fair warning not read read both J and H's path at the same time... but, but... I know I won't be able to resist!! hehe!😉😊
10 months ago·Reply
@MaritessSison I do the same in other stories as well. I can't help it, lol. It's fine if you do it, you just will probably find certain parts repetitive. Though the thoughts and certain actions will change accordingly
10 months ago
i really don't want to choose. it'll make for a great ending if it is both of them
10 months ago·Reply
@KittenFear you're bad, lol. But I know that feeling. I don't want either one to be heartbroken either, lol
10 months ago·Reply
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