– Changmin’s POV –
The sun kissed the tops of the trees with its soft light while the darkness started to reseed. Pushing the lonely night away, the promise of a new day held new challenges but also new happiness. Placing one foot in front of the other, I hung my head low while I watched the cracks in the sidewalk pass under my sneakers.
My mind wondered, thinking back to that night that we were together for the last time.
- Flashback -
“It’s over, Changmin” You looked right into my eyes and told me without a doubt in your voice.Turning around, you walked out of my place as I stood there for a few seconds in shock. Not seeing this coming I ran after you, catching up to you I wrapped my quivering hand around your wrist and turned you back to me.
“What did I do wrong? I’ll fix it, please just give me another chance.” I begged you as my tears started to blur my vision.
“You had one too many chances, Changmin” You told me, ripping your hand out of my grip, you walked off to your car and drove off while I stood there, tears streaming down my face.
Not knowing what else I could have done, I mumbled to myself under my breath as I walked into a side alley and through the back door of the cafe that I worked at. It was a modest job, being a bus boy, cleaning the dishes and cleaning the floors.
Clocking in, I grabbed my black apron and tucked my white shirt into my stone washed jeans, rolling up the sleeves on the white t shirt, I wrapped the black apron around my waist, crossing the ties in the back and making a bow just under my belt buckle.
Grabbing a rag and the disinfectant spray, I began my shift with wiping down all of the tables before the first costumers came in. Moving next to the back, I worked on the never ending pile of dishes.
Looking back into the soapy bubbles, I watched the perfect circles turn with color, some sticking to one another while others popped in mid air. Once more, my thoughts turned to you.
- Flashback -
We sat there on the front steps of your home, under the slight shade of the porch. With a bottle of bubbles beside us and a wand in each of our hands, we both blew gently trying to form the biggest bubble that either of us had seen. Yet when they popped in our faces, we just burst in laughter.
Your hair smelled so nice that day, your clothes fit your personality to a T and I wrapped one arm around you and placed my head on your shoulder. Making some smaller bubbles, I watched them catch the soft breeze and fly off into the distance.
It was then that you told me that you loved me and that you wanted to stay in my arms forever.
Looking back on that moment, I felt that same pain in my heart the night that you told me it was over. Not getting a second chance to set things right with you, not getting another chance to hold you in my arms or kiss you goodnight, keep you safe from all of the nightmares, I knew that I would never love again after you.
Loading up a clean tray with some of the clean cups, I walked out to the front of the cafe and placed the mugs and cups in their places, wiping down the tables from the crumbs. Walking into the back, I grabbed the dirty tub and took it out; moving from one table to the next, I put the cups that were finished and half sipped into my bin, but when I got to a certain table I looked over at that table in the corner, with the booth that was the perfect spot to rest and relax after a long shift.
Yet it was there that I saw you for the first time, it was there that you sat reading your book, thumbing through the pages slowly. It was there that you sipped your order slowly while your eyes didn’t leave the page, it was there that I fell in love with you.
Shaking my head out of the past memories and setting me back into the present, I saw you, plain as day sitting there in your spot but instead of a book in your hands, there was another man’s hand in yours.
Those fingers that laced with yours, were attached to a man sitting close to you, his shoulder gently pressed against yours as I watched his lips move and a smile curl onto your lips.
That smile that you said was only for me, that laugh that I heard only when I was around, the blush on your cheeks that I thought I only brought out.
Watching the strange man next to you, and you react to his soft comments and his fingers playing with yours, I moved my eyes back to my work, walking into the back room and staring another load of dishes, I couldn’t believe that you really didn’t love me.
Only after two weeks of breaking up, you had managed to find happiness again, you found another guy that made you as happy or happier with him than me and that is what got me. Then I started to wonder if you really loved me, ever.
Poking my head out to steal a glance, I saw you move all of your hair over one shoulder as his arm wrapped around you, resting your head on his shoulder and him lifting up the glass to press onto his lips, those lips that have touched yours.
Listening to the soft music overhead I swayed softly, as my mind, once again, turned to our memories together.
- Flashback -
“Changmin come dance with me” You called sweetly, moving slowly in your tank top and baggy pajama pants.
“I just want to watch you dance” I replied sitting on the couch as I let out a sigh from a hard work out that day.
“Changmin please~” You whined, coming over and trying to pull me up.
“No, I’m too tired” I smiled up at you making an excuse
“Please” You batted your eyes in hopes of trying to change my mind.
“No, baby, maybe another time” I said with a smile trying to ease the blow. Quickly letting me go, you turned around and trotted off to the bedroom, slamming the door behind you I knew that you were upset. Listening to the song that was playing, I just figured that it was your favorite slow song. Running my hand through my hair I walked up to the door and knocked gently.
“Baby I’ll take you dancing tomorrow.” I called through the door, but looking down at the bottom of the door, the soft light that spilled into the hallway vanished as I sat across from the door that night, just waiting for you to come out.
Shaking my head at my actions, I began to think that maybe he was a better fit for you than I was, that I could ever be. Wishing in my heart that he was treating you well and that you were happy is all that I could ever hope for to the girl that stole my heart and kept it in her grasp. Even through all of the heartache and through the fights, you kept my heart safe.
Looking back out to you, I heard the sound of your empty cup as you placed it against the table. Drying off my hands, I grabbed a sticky note and a pen as I wrote down a quick note. Grabbing my dirty bucket once more, I walked around the shop as I made it to you and the lucky guy.
Glancing up at you, I stuck the note on the table as I took away your cup and his. Heaving the heavy bin into my arms, I walked into the back while I felt your eyes staring at me.
Placing the bin back in its place, I saw you read the note.
I’m sorry that it didn’t work out between us. I hope that you are happy with him and that he buys you flowers, holds your hand and takes you dancing. I still love you
Hiding behind the wall, I let a few tears slip out of my eyes before I got back to my chores.
Like the seasons, people change and before I could even show you all of my love for you, you got up and left me.But I guess that your reasons to leave and I had my reasons to still hold onto you, but seeing you with another man. I try to think of all of the good times.
But now it is all a distant memory,