Wasn’t a boyfriend supposed to be there? Weren’t you supposed to be there for him?
Wasn’t he supposed to be nice to you? Tell you how much he missed you? Fall into your arms after a long day at work and he falls asleep in your arms? Cry into his embrace after something has happened and he would take everything away?
All of those hopes that dramas and other people had built up seemed to be a distant dream as you walked home, all alone. Entering into your shared apartment, you moved into the kitchen as your slippers scuffed against the floor. Picking out some already made meals, you chose one as you heated it up, shuffling to the bedroom you slid into one of his t shirts and some tights as you walked back out to your heating meal.
Is this how it is supposed to be? All alone?
Questioning yourself you lifted yourself up onto the counter as you swung your feet side to side as your eyes focused on the green numbers that counted down on the microwave. Sliding down from the counter a few seconds before it ended you grabbed a fork as it beeped. Pulling out the hot meal, you put it on the table as you pulled out one of the chairs.
Looking around you the dark apartment made it feel even lonelier as you sighed and ate your meal in dead silence.
Later that night, you were in bed as you fought off sleep. Picking up your phone, you typed a little message as you sent it. Waiting almost an hour, no response came as your
eyes slowly closed.
Waking up the next morning, you checked your phone for any new messages, yet there was none. Getting up you showered and got dressed for school as you texted your boyfriend, Changjo. Wondering where he was and if he was ok. No matter how many texts you sent him he never came back.
Knowing that you two were already becoming distant from each other, you didn’t expect anything knowing that he was busy and all. Calling him, was your next move as you walked across campus. Walking through some trees on campus, you heard laughter as you turned your head in that direction. That is when you saw him, your boyfriend, and another girl. One that was prettier, taller and flawless in every way.
Finding cover behind a tree, you watched them for a while as smiles never left their face and laughter was exchanged effortlessly. Curling your upper lip, you became very jealous as he hugged her tightly, she hugged him back. This wasn’t just a goodbye hug, they held each other like they were dating, his hands were on her lower back as her head nuzzled into his neck and that is when you knew.
The girl broke the long hug as she blew a kiss to him as he waved back to her, she skipped off to her next class as you emerged from the tree.
“Yah Changjo!” You called as his head snapped over to you, his smile slightly faded
“Ah ______-ah” Changjo became nervous as he took a few steps back from you. “I-I was actually looking for you.”
“Oh you were?” You tilted your head as he nodded. “You didn’t bother to check your phone where there is hundreds of messages from me?” Calmly, you told him as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“Since, you’re here I will just tell you.” He took a deep breath as he looked in your eyes for a while before his mouth opened and words came out, words that you never figured
that he would say to you. “Let’s break up.”
A ton of bricks fell on your heart as you could hardly breathe, he said some other words but you couldn’t hear him over your shattering heart. He left running in the same direction of the girl as you closed your eyes and your salty tears fell from your eyes while your body racked with sobs.
Managing to make it to all of your classes, you headed back home for the day. Entering into the shared apartment, tears fell from your eyes as you grabbed what little you had brought there. Stuffing your belongings into your backpack, you left the apartment slowly as you covered your mouth with the sleeve of your jacket to quiet your sad sobs.
Walking down a few blocks, the rumbling of thunder above you quickly caught your attention, couples ran past trying to find shelter as you flipped your hood over your head and let the rain come and wrap you in it’s cold, wet arms. Your legs shook as you walked into the rain, your soaking wet shoes and coat clung to you tightly as you found a bus stop that had a bench.
Niel walked out after an extra practice as he saw the rain, pulling out his umbrella, he popped it out as the rain pounded down around him. Looking one way then the other, no one was on the street besides a person on the bus bench. With a gust of wind, your hood blew off of your head as you were too cold to put it back on.
“_______-ah?” Niel called as you lifted your head slightly. “______-ah!” He called your name a few more times as he jogged over to where you were. Holding the umbrella over you, you looked over at him as you looked wet and cold.
“What are you doing here, so late at night and in the rain?” Niel asked as he moved closer to you.
“I-I was getting my things.” You said calmly as another crash of lightning and thunder came by causing you to jump.
“Let’s get you to my place and we can talk more on the way.” Niel said as he held your arm with his hand as he helped you up.
“B-But won’t Changjo be there?” You asked
“Not the dorm, my place. It is closer than the dorm.” Niel said as you nodded, both of you huddled together under the umbrella as you spilled everything to him.
Reaching his front door, he closed his umbrella as he punched in the code. The door opened with ease as he held the door open for you as a trail of water followed both of you home.
Slipping off your wet shoes, your toes were pruned as your wet hair made you shiver.
“Why don’t you go and shower, get out of those cold clothes, then we can talk more, ok?” Niel said as you nodded, he showed you where it is as he handed you some clothes that would fit you.
Slipping under the warm water, you let your tears flow as you couldn’t help them any more. Once you were finished, you changed into his clothes, a large t shirt and sweats that you had to roll up. Wrapping your hair in your towel you combed it carefully as you sat on his bed. Your thoughts wondered as you patted your hair dry.
Neil knocked on the slightly closed bedroom door as you snapped out of your thoughts.
“I made us some dinner if you are hungry.” He said softly as you nodded your head and resumed what you were doing. “Did he really hurt you that bad?” Niel said as he came and sat next to you on his bed as you nodded.
“I didn’t see it coming. I thought that he was just working really hard. When he was hanging around more girls and warming up with them.” You said coldly as Niel wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest.
“I just thought that we were drifting apart and I was working on my school work so much and we haven’t had a date in two month.” You choked out as Niel’s hand gently rubbed your back.
“You can stay here as long as you need to.” Niel said.
“Thank you, Changjo’s place was the only place that I had. I will have to look for another one, if you don’t mind me staying here that long.” You looked up at him as he tucked some hair behind your ear.
“My pleasure” He smiled at you, as both of you got up and walked into the kitchen where Niel had two bowls of steaming soup on the table.
“I don’t have very many guests over, but make yourself at home and enjoy.” Niel said as you nodded, taking in the warmth and the wonderful smell before dipping your spoon into the broth and happily feeling the warmth radiate through your body.
With both of you full and warm, Niel and you made sleeping arrangements. Laying on his bed, he grabbed some extra blankets for him as he slept on the floor next to you.
“Niel?” You asked in the dark room.
“Yeah…” Niel breathed quietly
“Do you think that he loved me?” You questioned as your fingers gripped the blanket tighter.
“I can’t answer that. I know he didn’t treat you right though.” Niel said as he looked up at you as you nodded. Sighing, you closed your eyes as you slipped off to sleep.
Weeks passed as you looked through newspapers with no luck of finding another place to live. Sighing, you threw down the newspaper as you heard the door open.
“_______, I’m back” Niel called as you looked over the couch at him. “Have you found a place to live yet?” He asked with a wondering tone.
“No, there just doesn’t seem to be any for sale.” You said sadly as he picked up the tossed newspaper as he saw circles and X’s as he knew that you were trying your hardest.
“How about you and I go out to dinner tonight since I haven’t had the chance to go to the store.” Niel offered as he looked at the empty fridge.
“Ok, just let me go get dressed.” You said scampering off into the bedroom as you changed into some jeans and a cute sweater.
Heading off to a nearby restaurant, Niel walked in with you as you were lead to a two person table. After ordering, your eyes began to wonder around as you saw a familiar figure just across the way from you and Niel. He saw your gaze focus as Niel tapped your shoulder.
“______-ah who is it?” He whispered as he looked where you were looking. “Oh is that Changjo?” You ducked your head as you nodded.
“He’s with another girl too.” You muttered as you sipped your cold water. Looking at the girl that Changjo was with, you noticed that she was the same girl that he hugged on campus.
The food arrived, as you ate it trying to have a good time as Niel cracked jokes and made funny faces to make you smile and laugh.
Changjo turned around as he recognized the laugh that was filling the restaurant. Changjo saw you laugh and smile as he smiled sadly, missing the times that you and him would laugh to comedies or what the other members did. He missed those times too much as his heart began to ache.
Finishing your meal with Niel, both of you walked back home.
“Thank you for taking me out, I needed to get out.” You said as you kicked off your
“You’re welcome. I am so happy to see you smile and laugh again.” Niel patted your
shoulder. “I’ll go shower first ok?” Nodding, he headed off to the only bathroom.
Making your way over to the couch, you sat down as you looked through your past conversations with Changjo as you could see him turning his cold shoulder to you as you tried desperately to hold on.
A knock on the door called you from your thoughts as you licked your lips trying to keep your fresh tears inside your eyes as you shuffled to the door as you opened it a crack.
“C-C-Changjo?!” You said in surprise as your eyes got wide, your first instinct was to close the door but his strong hand pushed the door open as you stumbled backwards.
“W-W-What are you d-d-doing here?” You stuttered as he closed the door behind him and walked towards you, your back hit a hard wall as you pressed yourself up against it as he kept walking to you.
“I want you back” Changjo stated clearly, almost demanding.
“You can’t” You squeaked as your mind raced to what could happen.
“Why not?” His eyes brimmed with furry as he put a hand over your shoulder as you couldn’t look away from his demanding eyes.
“I-I-I’m Niel’s now.” You stuttered again as your eyes dropped from his to his quickly heaving chest. The next noise you heard was a grunt and his body moved towards yours as you squealed and slid down the wall curling into a ball.
Niel, hearing your scream, he runs out with a towel on his head as he sees Changjo standing over you.
“W-What did you do Changjo?” Niel demanded as he walked over and helped you up as you stood behind Niel as your hands grasped his shirt tightly.
“I just want her back.” Changjo said rather calmly.
“Why?” Niel asked as he folded his arms over his chest.
“I love her” Changjo said shyly as you peeked over Niel’s shoulder.
“Would someone in love not answer texts? Calls? Hang around another woman and laugh, smile and hug her?” Niel questioned as Changjo knew that he had been caught.
Shaking his head in shame, Niel nodded his head.
“A-Are you hurt?” Changjo glanced at you shook your head. He nodded and headed to the door as he looked back at you once more before closing the door behind him.
A pain in your heart reappeared, almost like a wound that wouldn’t heal without a little closure. Moving from behind Niel, you quickly slipped on your shoes and ran after Changjo calling his name.
The first couple times you called his name, he didn’t dare to look back but when you screamed his name, he stopped in his tracks as he looked over his shoulder as he turned around slowly, facing you. Running into his arms, you held him tightly as you pressed your head against his chest.
“Changjo, I’m sorry but I couldn’t do it anymore.” His arms slowly wrapped around you as you looked up at him. “No hard feelings.”
He nodded his head in agreement as he held you for the last time as you found your closure.
“No hard feelings.”