SNBlackRose
10 months ago500+ Views
H- The Pains of Our Yesterdays C18- Awkward and Hopeful
Alright guys, it's time to pick your path. If you're on this page, this is Hoseok's path. Just to remind everyone, from Chapter 18 and onward, the chapters are split between a Hoseok path and a Jimin path. This particular card is Hoseok's path. If you're on the wrong card, go here for Jimin's path.

Now, for the warning, it is highly recommended that you choose one path and stick with it. If you want to read both, I recommend that you pick one until it ends, then go back and read the other. The reason for that is because the characters are stuck in the same place with the same situations. Obviously, things will be changed, I didn't cut and paste the different names, but you will probably find it repetitive. But if you want to read both, I obviously won't stop you. Either way, I hope you enjoy the story.

I also have a card out about what story I may write next. Please check it out and vote.
Right now, I'm tied with only a few votes, between 1, 2, and 4, with a heavier leaning on 4. Please help me break the tie by the next card so I can focus on working on only that story. Otherwise, I'll let one of my friends pick, though she'll probably pick number 4 as well, lol.

Thank you to all of you who are reading, liking, clipping, following, and commenting.
Disclaimer: Many of the characters aside from BTS are made up and BTS themselves are not BTS in this story. And, of course, I don't know the BTS boys personally so their personalities are probably mostly fictional.
Character thoughts are in { }.
Please let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged.
Beginning: Chapter 1
Previous: Chapter 17
Warning: May contain mild language
Jiyoung POV

The guys stayed and talked with me the rest of the day. They talked about what the doctor had informed them regarding my rehabilitation. They constantly asked if I felt okay, if I was hot, cold, hungry, thirsty, in pain, etc. After a while, it got a little annoying, but I understood why they were doing it so it was mostly endearing. I had people who actually cared about me. All the other times I had woken up in the hospital, it was either my mother or father glaring at me, silently threatening me to keep my mouth shut. This was nice. But there was something wrong. I couldn’t place what exactly it was, but it seemed like they were all hiding something from me.

Every time I tried to lightly broach the subject, they quickly talked about something else. It started to make me upset. I was stuck in the hospital after being hit by a car and I had no control over my legs. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with my brain as far as I could tell, so what were they so adamant about hiding from me? I watched them get more nervous the more I tried to ask. Eventually, though, I became too tired to think about it. The medications were really kicking my butt. I just wanted to go back to sleep. I was also aware that if they were with me at that time, I was taking them away from their work and studies.

“I don’t know what you guys are hiding,” I drawled sleepily. I watched them look at each other nervously. “That’s fine if you don’t tell me right now because I’m just too tired to argue.” As if my body just needed to prove my point, I yawned. “But I expect you to tell me tomorrow. No ‘but’s. Okay?”

Jin sighed heavily. “Fine.”

“You guys should go home and get some sleep. I’m alive. You guys need your rest too. And I know that you have to be missing work to be here.” They looked like they were going to argue so I told them, “No arguing. Go home and go to sleep.” They let out small, tired smiles.

“You guys go. I’ll stay with her,” Jin said. Then it was Jin’s turn to keep me from arguing. “No arguing.” I stuck my tongue at him and watched him do the same. Everyone joined us in laughing.

“Now go home,” I said while trying to shoo them away with my bandaged hand.

“Alright, alright,” Yoongi threw his hands up in surrender. “Let us say goodbye then.” They took turns gently hugging me.

“Thank you for fighting,” Hoseok whispered in my ear when it was his turn. My heart started fluttering. I smiled shyly at him when he pulled away. He really knew how to make my heart beat faster. And now that I knew my feelings, I didn’t feel guilty about it.

Maybe it was just me, but it seemed like Jimin was reluctant to hug me. I gave him a questioning look when he straightened up but he just looked away from me. Something was wrong. Before I could say anything though, he left the room with the others.
I turned to Jin. “Is something wrong with Jimin?” Jin looked like he was searching for an answer.

He sighed. “When we heard what happened, it was hard for everyone. And everyone reacted a little differently. That’s just how Jimin’s reacting to the whole thing. He’ll be fine.”

“Mm.” I had so many more questions to ask, but my eyelids felt so heavy.

“Jiyoung, don’t fight sleep. It’ll help your body heal. Tomorrow they’ll take the neck brace off. And everyone will be back to see you. So get some rest now. You’ve been through so much.”

“So have you, oppa,” I replied drowsily. But he had a point, I felt so sleepy and it would probably help my body if I slept. “Lay down... and... sleep...” And then I faded back into sleep.


I woke up confused again. Why was I so tired and drowsy? Why was there pain? I opened my eyes to the sunlit room. White walls, antiseptic smell... that’s right, I was in a hospital. The accident. I couldn’t really turn my neck, so I simply looked around the room. And that’s when I felt something warm covering my right hand. I looked and saw Jin sitting in a chair, but with his head lying on my bed facing me. His left hand was gently grasping mine. I felt so bad that he was stuck here in this uncomfortable place with me. After what happened to his sister, he probably didn’t do too well with the news of my accident. And he was still worried. I felt a few tears fall.

The clock above the door read 7:23. It was too early to wake him. I wondered how much he had slept since my accident. So I just watched him without paying attention to the time. I wished I had had a brother like him. He was so kind and caring to people who weren’t even blood. Periodically, his face or his hands would twitch, like he was dreaming about something. I looked at the clock again. 8:17. Time was going so slowly. I looked back down just in time to see his eyelids start twitching like he was starting to wake up. A few seconds later, his eyes open for a fraction of a second before closing again. This happened a few more times before they finally stayed open. He sat up in the chair, never once letting go of my hand.

“Good morning, oppa,” I smiled at him. His eyes were puffy from sleep and his hair was a mess. He looked adorable.

“Good morning, Jiyoung-ah,” he answered back groggily. “Mmm... how long have you been awake?”

“Just a little bit.”

“How are you feeling? Are you in pain?” It made me feel so loved to have someone ask me those questions in such a loving tone.

“I’m okay. Just a little bit of pain. But it’s fine. How are you feeling, oppa?”

“Grateful.” I let out a short laugh.

“I meant, how’re you feeling after sleeping like that?”

He laughed, “Fine. Don’t worry. I wasn’t there the whole time. You were mumbling in your sleep. I came over to hear what you were saying, but I must’ve fallen asleep right after.”

“I was mumbling?” I didn’t think I’d ever done that before, aside from the time with the moving the boxes down to the basement. Did I have another bad dream? I just remembered falling asleep and then I woke up.

“Yeah. Don’t know what you were saying though.” Just then, there was a quiet knock on the door. “Come in,” Jin called out.

The door opened slowly. Hoseok’s head peaked around the corner. I was glad that I had the doctor turn off the heart monitor screen yesterday when the beeping started to get on my nerves. If it was on, then last night, and now this morning, Jin and Hoseok would both be able to see my heartrate speed up. Hopefully it wasn’t enough to make the person watching the heartrates think that something was wrong. The last thing I needed was for them to come in and ask what happened. Everything would be awkward. I wasn’t at all ready to confront my feelings that I had only just come to figure out. I didn’t even know how Hoseok felt about me.

When Hoseok’s eyes met mine, his face lit up. And so did my heart. How could just seeing him, just seeing his smile, affect me so much?

“Good morning, Jiyoung. I didn’t think you’d be awake yet.”

“Good morning, Hoseok. And I think I’ve been sleeping too much.”

“Good morning, Hoseok,” Jin looked at Hoseok with his arms crossed, pretending to be upset at Hoseok not greeting him.

Hoseok looked flustered. “S-sorry, hyung. I—Good morning, hyung.” I giggled. A look passed between the two, making me confused.

“What was that?” I asked.

“What was what?” Hoseok responded a little too quickly.

Fine, I would let them tell me later. I wasn’t sure if it was the same thing they were hiding from me yesterday, but maybe they just wanted to wait until everyone was there.

“Never mind,” I sighed. It definitely wasn’t my imagination that he looked relieved. “But anyway, not that I mind seeing you, but why are you here instead of work?”

Hoseok smiled mischievously. “You forget, this is one of my family’s hospitals. I’m usually at the main branch, but I can just as easily work from here. So you’re gonna have to put up with me whenever I get bored.”

“O-oh,” I stuttered. “Okay.” I could just hope that he didn’t notice my nervousness.

“Oh, and Tae will be here later. He had a meeting to attend, but then he’ll be working from here also. I think he’ll probably find a way to harass you more than me.” Then he turned to Jin. “Hyung, Tae and I will be here. You should go home, shower, and change for work.”

“I’m going to stay here today,” Jin replied. I felt guilty that he felt like he had to miss work because of me.

“I know you have an important meeting later. You should go. I promise, we’ll take good care of her.” Jin looked reluctant to leave. But if he had an important meeting, then my problem shouldn’t be holding him back.

“Oppa...” Jin looked at me. “You should go to your meeting. You can’t put everything on hold because of me. It’ll make me feel like more of a burden.” That seemed to convince him. Just because he didn’t want me to feel like a burden.

“Fine. But I’ll be back as soon as it’s over.”

“Take care of your company, oppa. I’ll be fine. I’ll have Hoseok and Taehyung if anything happens.”

Jin stood up and stretched. “Then, I’ll be back later when the others are here too, then. Make sure you take care of her.” At the last part, Jin was more serious.

“Y-yes, hyung,” Hoseok replied. He actually looked a little nervous. Jin leaned over and planted a light kiss on the top of my head where the bandages weren’t covering.

“Stay rested and make sure you eat all your food. If you don’t, I’ll come back, okay?”

“Yes oppa. Now go before you end up late.” Jin waved and gave me one more concerned look before finally leaving. Then I realized I was alone with Hoseok.

“H-have you eaten yet?” Hoseok asked.

I started to shake my head before remembering that that was a bad idea. “Not yet.” Hoseok lifted up a small bag that I hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“I thought that might be the case, so I had SunYung and MinJu pack some food. The food here is pretty good, but I thought you might like to eat your favorites. And they said to tell you to feel better, they’ll try to visit today or tomorrow.” I smiled. No wonder I had fallen for him. He pulled over the bedside table and started unloading the containers. Then I realized something—Jin wasn’t there to feed me today. Was Hoseok going to feed me? I blushed. I didn’t know if my heart could take it. He finished taking the lids off and held out the chopsticks. And then he too realized the situation.

“Oh, uh. Is it okay if... I feed you?” Maybe it was just me, but he seemed nervous and his face looked a little blushed. Then he quickly added, “I can get one of the nurses if you’d prefer.” He stood up.

“No!” {Oh my God, that came out way more forcefully than I intended.} “I mean, it’s fine. If... y’know. I don’t mind if you feed me.” I knew I had to be blushing pretty badly, but Hoseok looked about the same as me. I had to be careful not to read too much into it. I’m sure he just felt awkward about feeding someone, especially a girl.

“Okay. Um... What do you want to start with?”

After I finished eating, Hoseok cleaned up. We had talked a bit while I was eating and he told me that he had to go back to his office upstairs when I was finished but that Taehyung would be there shortly. Sure enough, Hoseok had to leave and Taehyung came in about 30 minutes after that. Taehyung somehow managed to make me confess about Hoseok feeding me and then continued to tease me about it until just before he left.

“So, tell me,” he said, suddenly more serious. I looked at him. “For lunch, if I went and got you some food, would you prefer nakjibokkeum (spicy stir-fried octopus) or sannakji (live octopus)? Have you figured out which one you really like?”

I was confused for a moment. Then I remembered the conversation we’d had during our ‘date’. I didn’t know why he would ask me that now. Unless... he knew what I was really asking. The look in his eyes seemed to confirm my suspicions.

“I have.”

“And?” He looked at me expectantly.

“And... I’m not telling.”

“Yah! You’re lucky you’re injured or I’d have to hit you for that. I’ll pry it out of you for sure.”

“No, you won’t. Now, go back to work like you’re supposed to.” He stuck out his tongue at me before pretending to stomp angrily out of the room.

“I’ll be back for you later,” he yelled just before he shut the door. I laughed before becoming serious again. My heart had chosen. And it wasn’t just about being safe. If it was, then I didn’t have the right to choose either of them. It wasn’t settling for comfort. While it was true that Hoseok was the safer one to fall for, that didn’t have much to do with the fact that I was in love with him. I loved the way I felt around Hoseok. He, himself, wasn’t safe, but he made me feel safe. Being around him was like taking an Epsom salt bath. Warm, comforting, healing. He wanted to help me work through my past. And if I had him, I could do that. He gave me the strength to do that.

I needed to find out how he felt about me without exposing how I felt about him. If he felt the same about me, that would be perfect, and make me unendingly happy. If he didn’t, though... I had already made up my mind on my feelings. Rejection by him would not send me Jimin instead. If Hoseok didn’t share my feelings, then I would just have to try to get over them by myself, as much as it would hurt. But if he found out and also couldn’t return them, then it would make everything about living with all of them awkward. So I had to be very careful.

I watched TV until lunch. The hospital fortunately had remotes for people with different disabilities and handicaps (or bandages) so they were able to find one that worked for me. Hoseok and Taehyung joined me for lunch. They read texts I had received from the others and responded for me. Apparently, Jin was the one bothering them the most. I was a little worried for Jimin. Between his behavior last night and his single text today, I thought something might be wrong. Hoseok didn’t say anything, but Taehyung told me that Jimin was fine. That that was just how he was.

After lunch, the two went back to work. I continued exploring the horrible shows that made up daytime television. The nurse came and removed my neck brace, for which I was very grateful. Just after 5, Hoseok and Taehyung were back in my room. Within half an hour, most of the others had arrived also. Jungkook and JiEun were running later than the others due to their last class. I chatted with everyone, except Jimin, who seemed determined to be the farthest person from me. It really bothered me. Nonetheless, I let myself be distracted and we watched random stuff on TV while we waited. Jin promised to bring a portable DVD player or laptop for me so I could watch ‘something decent’. Jungkook and JiEun eventually arrived with arms full of food from home.

We finished eating and I could tell that everyone thought they were off the hook, that I had forgotten. But I hadn’t.

“So then,” they looked at me nervously, “what is it that you guys were hiding from me yesterday? I know you guys hoped I had forgotten about it, but I didn’t. So please, just tell me whatever it is.” Everyone looked at Jin. Because he was the oldest?

“Jiyoung... I think it’d be better to wait a bit until you’ve recovered more,” Namjoon said slowly. How bad was this news that they wanted me to wait for so long to hear it?

“Please. Just tell me. Whatever it is, I can handle it. Is it about my legs? Am I really—“

“No!” Jin quickly cut me off. “It’s not that. It’s not bad news, exactly. It’s just... it’ll be difficult to take in. Even we... are having trouble believing it.” I couldn’t read the looks on their faces.

“Please...” I pleaded. I needed to know what it was. It wasn’t something bad, but it was something heavy. What could they possibly tell me?
“I...” Jin sighed. “O-okay. I’d prefer if you waited, but you should know...” He looked around the room one more time, as if hoping that someone could save him from the situation. But no one seemed to be able to help. He looked back to me. “Remember how we told you that there were some complications? That you have a rare blood condition?” I nodded. “We told you how a couple donors flew in from elsewhere in the country. But your condition was serious. They needed the blood immediately. So they tested all of us for compatibility, just in case. It’s a kind of condition that doesn’t get tested for normally unless you need a transfusion.” I was following what he was saying, but I didn’t know what he was trying to lead to.

“I was able to donate for you.” I gave him a confused expression. “We both have the same condition.” I smiled. The number of coincidences between us was astounding. People really would think we were actually related. I looked at Hoseok, but he wasn’t smiling. None of them were.

“Is that what the problem is? We both have the same condition? I mean, I know that’s bad in case of an accident like this, but that also means that we can donate for each other. Isn’t that good? It’s like fate.”

“It’s not fate,” Jin said, still serious. “It’s family.” I was still confused. What did that even mean? “The condition is very rare, even amongst family members. But there is a genetic component. They did a lot of tests... You and I... We’re siblings.”

“What?” Then his words sank in.“That’s not... that’s not even possible. I know that we act like it, but—“

“You’re—you’re... SooJin.” I just stared at him.

“I... don’t understand...” Nothing made sense. It wasn’t possible. I know that there were a lot of similarities between me and SooJin, coincidences that seemed too much to be mere coincidence. But the idea of having SooJin’s spirit seemed more likely that me actually being SooJin.

“They ran your blood against the medical files for SooJin. She had to have blood tests done when she was young because of an illness... they said it was 90% match. The only reason it’s not 100% is because they didn’t have the same technology for DNA mapping 13 years ago that they do now.” There were pictures my grandparents had. Stories they told me. My grandparents wouldn’t have lied to me. They wouldn’t have done that.

“That’s not... I have... but my family...” Then Jin explained to me what they figured had happened. About an accident, a mix-up made from some sort of desperation. A lot more things made sense. Why my grandparents were so afraid of me going to the gorge, the confusion on my aunt’s face when she saw me the first time after what I thought was me waking up from a coma. Jin said that the picture for the missing poster for Jiyoung looked almost exactly like I did as a child. But my aunt must have known that something wasn’t quite right.

“Unnie?” I looked over at JiEun. “Are you okay?”

I hesitantly and slowly nodded my head. “I think so. I just...” Hoseok squeezed my hand reassuringly. I looked up at him and then looked back to Jin. Jin seemed nervous, like he was afraid of how I might react. Did he think I might scream or tell him I hate him? That’s what it looked like he was prepared for. “Oppa...”

I turned my hand palm-up and moved my fingers in a grabbing motion, the best my bandages would allow. He let out a small breath he had apparently been holding and grabbed my hand. Tears started to drip down his face. I was still shocked by everything, but I had to let him know that I wasn’t afraid or angry with him or anyone else. No one knew until this accident.

“I’m not mad or angry or anything like that... it’s just... a lot. It’ll... take some time... to get used to not being Jiyoung...”

“You’re still you though,” Namjoon said. “’A rose by any other name’ blah blahblah.” I laughed at that. Yoongi looked at Namjoon as if saying ‘I don’t know this person’ which made me laugh harder. Unfortunately, that caused a sharp pain in my chest.

“Are you okay?” everyone asked. I saw Jimin finally take a step closer. I looked at all of them.

“Yeah. The nurses said I had some fractured ribs. I probably just jostled around too much.”

Right then, a nurse came in. “Is everything okay?” I must’ve had something weird pop up on my heart monitor.

“Yes. Sorry, I just laughed too hard. I’m fine.” The nursed bowed politely and left the room. “I think they’re going to move me to another room later tonight since I’m doing so well.” Everyone was excited to hear that. My being moved meant that I was doing better. And that’s what we were all hoping for. But now, with Jin’s news, I had one more thing to try to come to terms with.
Okay, guys, there's the first split chapter. I hope it doesn't disappoint. I love the awkwardness with Jiyoung/SooJin and Hoseok. They are cute, aren't they?

Please don't forget to vote for the next story here.

Aside from that, I hope you enjoy and I'll put out the next chapter on Saturday. See you then.

Thank you @Mavis2478 for the story.
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Bruh Squad

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I'm reading this side first....will read Jimin's after all of the chapters are out.
10 months ago·Reply
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@JaxomB Then that definitely makes u a more objective reader for them, lol. And I'm torn between the two, lol
10 months ago
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