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J- The Pains of Our Yesterdays C19- Secrets and Lies

Next chapter coming at you. Just to remind everyone, this is the split path part of the story. This is Jimin's path.
For the warning again, it is highly recommended that you choose one path and stick with it. If you want to read both, I recommend that you pick one until it ends, then go back and read the other. The reason for that is because the characters are stuck in the same place with the same situations. Obviously, things will be changed, I didn't cut and paste the different names, but you will probably find it repetitive. But if you want to read both, I obviously won't stop you. Either way, I hope you enjoy the story.

Thank you to all of you who are reading, liking, clipping, following, and commenting.
Disclaimer: Many of the characters aside from BTS are made up and BTS themselves are not BTS in this story. And, of course, I don't know the BTS boys personally so their personalities are probably mostly fictional.
Character thoughts are in { }.
Please let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged.
Beginning: Chapter 1
Warning: May contain mild language. Slight trigger warning as per usual.
SooJin POV

The next day, after the big revelation, one that I still hadn’t completely processed, Jin said he needed to talk to me about something serious. I became worried. He held my hand and told me that he wanted to tell our parents about me. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I now had parents. Jin said he was waiting because he wanted me to get used to everything so he didn’t overwhelm me, but he couldn’t bear to keep it from them any longer. He knew I was still processing, but I also understood his position. As scared as I was, I understood. Part of me was even kind of excited. The thought of actually having parents, blood relatives, ones who wouldn’t treat me like a slave and worse... I told Jin it was okay to tell them.

I was startled the next morning when I woke up to see strangers in my room. Jin quickly came to me and held my hand.

“It’s okay, SooJin-ah. These are our parents.” I looked at them more closely. I could see similarities in the man’s and Jin’s faces, especially their eyes. He looked at me both with nervousness and very evident love. I looked to the woman who was gently held in the man’s arm. I saw the resemblance to myself. Tears started to build up in my eyes, mirroring my mother’s. “This is our father Kim YongJin and our mother Kim SangHee.”

There was a comfort radiating from them, one that shouldn’t have made sense considering, as far as my memory would allow, I was only meeting them for the first time. My tears flowed freely and my mother was quick to join me. I looked up at Jin.

“Omma and appa?” I confirmed. He nodded, his eyes misty as well. I looked to my parents. They moved next to Jin.

“Do you remember us?” my mother asked.

“No, I don’t. But just like when I first met Jin-oppa, I feel like I’ve known you. Like… my heart recognizes you, even if my brain doesn’t.” Jin moved to the other side of my bed. He held one hand while my parents held my other. The previous night, Jin told me that he would explain to them what had happened to me after the accident but he wouldn’t tell them the gritty details of the adoption. I was in complete agreement with that. They shouldn’t have to hear that about the daughter they just discovered was actually still alive. And for me, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I was a little afraid of any pity they might show me because of it.

They stayed the entire day with me. We talked about the things that had happened since the accident from both of our sides. Sometimes we didn’t say anything, simply soaking in each other’s presence. Just like when I met the guys and JiEun for the first time, everything just seemed to fit like puzzle pieces. They were the missing part of my heart that I hadn’t even realized was missing a piece. My mother held onto me as if she was afraid I would disappear again. I loved the caring and comforting feeling of a mother’s love, something I had no memory of.

When the others came, they easily socialized with my parents. They had known them their whole lives, after all. Some of the guys had to leave early and my parents had to leave after dinner. They looked wary to leave. With a promise of never disappearing again and them being welcome to visit anytime, they were finally at ease enough to leave. The smiles and happy tears as they left stayed with me. Even with Jimin still ignoring me the whole time, I was too focused on the happiness to fall into the darkness, yet. The rest of the people left had to leave soon after. Jin, Taehyung, and Hoseok promised to visit in the morning and the others would visit after work.

After everyone left, the darkness and sadness started to rise like a tide. I tried to focus on being happy, but every time I pictured my parents’ faces, I also saw Jimin turned away from me, never looking at me. Questions about all sorts of things played around in my head, none staying at the forefront long enough to let me actually think of an answer. I tried to push away the depression disguised as simple questions. They wouldn’t leave. But I wouldn’t let myself go down that path again, the overwhelming darkness that always pulled at the corner of my brain. I should be happy now, I had everything (almost everything) I could possibly hope for. That was what I needed to focus on.

Jin came by in the morning, just as promised. A dream lingered in my mind even while talking to my brother. I had dreamed that Jimin came to see me, that he held my hand and told me he was sorry. He cried as he told me he loved me. His hand let go of mine and I begged him not to leave. And then the dream ended. I shook my head to try to clear my thoughts.

Jin and I talked while I ate. Hoseok was right, the hospital food was good, it just wasn’t home cooking. I would have preferred food from home, but the doctors had gotten upset after Hoseok and the others had brought me food. They didn’t like me not following my post-op diet. I was looking forward to being able to eat what I wanted. Jin left me with a kiss on my head.

Hoseok and Taehyung came by just after. Taehyung only stayed for a minute before leaving me alone with Hoseok.

“So... um... how’re you doing—feeling? You’re not in any pain or anything, right?” Hoseok stammered. I smiled. Hoseok always seemed to be nervous around me, just like I had been with him before... No, that wasn’t likely.

“I’m doing fine. Thanks for always checking on me, Ho—oppa.” That was another thing to get used to. Since finding out I was actually SooJin, we also found out that it meant I was a year younger than I thought I was. This meant that both Hoseok and Namjoon were older than me. Namjoon was just barely older. Calling them oppa would take some getting used to, just like those two not calling me noona or everyone remembering to call me SooJin now.

“O-of course. I—we all care about you. I can be here, so I’m here for everyone who isn’t.”

“I—“ There was a knock on the door. “Come in.” My doctor and another doctor I hadn’t seen before came in.

“How’re you doing today, Miss Kim?” my doctor, Dr. Bae, asked me.

“I’m doing fine. I haven’t had much pain.”

“Good. If you’re okay with it, I want to try lowering the pain medications bit by bit. It’ll be easier to monitor your progress and we want to make sure that dependency is less likely to occur.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Hoseok stood up. “Maybe I should wait outside while you talk? I don’t want to intrude—“

The other doctor cut in. “Actually, if it’s okay with Miss Kim, it would be good to have another person present. We won’t get too personal, but it’s always good to have a second person during discussions.”

I looked at Hoseok and shrugged. “That’s fine with me, if it’s alright with you, oppa.” Hoseok smiled and nodded, settling back at my bedside.

Dr. Bae introduced the new doctor as Dr. Lee, a specialist in orthopedics and spinal injuries. The two of them explained that, because of the nature of my injuries, it would be best to start physical therapy sooner rather than later. They said that I wouldn’t be fully recovered for a while and the longer I waited, the more difficult it would be for me to recover movement in my lower extremities. They encouraged me to start as soon as I thought I was ready, though they wouldn’t push me. PT would only work if the person doing it was ready and willing. I told them I was more than ready. I was still in pain right now, but I told them I wanted to start the next week if they thought I’d be ready. I wanted out of this place so badly... And I could finally talk to Jimin.

Dr. Bae said he would monitor my recovery but that it wasn’t a good idea to start too early with all the surgeries I had had. He said maybe two weeks at the earliest, but he would let me know over the next couple weeks. He also said that he and Dr. Lee would work in tandem to create a PT plan that would allow for my more weakened state. PT was usually brutal and they would need to find a way to make it bearable. When Dr. Lee asked if my boyfriend would be coming as well, I looked at him in confusion.

“My boyfriend?”

“Is he not...” he gestured to Hoseok.

I looked at Hoseok with wide eyes. “Wh—N-no, he’s not my boyfriend.”

“I’m not,” Hoseok added, his voice a bit off.

“Ah, well then, my apologies,” Dr. Lee quickly apologized. “I just assumed since you’re often together.”

“We are close, so I guess I can understand,” I lightly laughed.

“Well, either way, it would be good to have a friend or family member with you during your sessions. You don’t have to, of course. Many people prefer going alone, they don’t like people seeing them struggle. But multiple studies show that support from people close to patients is positively correlated with increased progress and recovery. So I highly recommend it. The choice is yours, though.”

“Makes sense,” I said. “I’ll really think about it.”

“That’s good,” Dr. Bae remarked. “I recommend it as well. Oh, and besides that, I also wanted to let you know that I’ll be having the nurses remove the bandages around your head and on your hands. They’re not completely healed yet and will still have small dressings, but it would be good to let them breathe. You should be able to eat on your own as well now. If you have trouble with chopsticks, though, please let the nurse know and they’ll have forks and spoons available. And if you have trouble with those, the staff will be able to help you still.”

Dr. Bae wrote a few things on my chart and then the two of them left.

“You finally get your bubble wrap off today, huh?”

“Yeah. It’ll be nice to not have some poor aide have to sit and feed me.”

“I’m sure the male ones don’t mind,” he chuckled.

“Hm? Why’s that?”

He looked at me and smiled. “Don’t you know, a lot of guys like to be fed by or feed a beautiful girl?”

“Ha! Have you seen me lately? I look like the bride of Frankenstein.”

The two of us laughed. “You’re one of the most beautiful girls I’ve met. I’m sure anyone can see that, even with the bandages and bruises.”

“You’re the king of flattery,” I teased. He just continued smiling at me. Then he frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry about earlier, about them mistaking me for your b-boyfriend.”

“Don’t be,” I patted his hand. “A girl should be so lucky. If anything, I should be the one to apologize.”

“Why’s that?” The genuine confusion on his face lifted my spirits more than anything else. Because he didn’t think of me the way I thought of me, the way I actually was.

“You know why. This is your work and to have the possibility of rumors going around about you and a girl like me—“

“Don’t say that,” he cut me off in a harsh tone. I flinched. I’d only heard him use that tone a couple of times. His expression immediately softened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I just... I hate it when you say things like that.” He held my hand gingerly. “You’re an amazing woman. Any man would be lucky to have a chance with you. I only apologized because... I didn’t want to put you in an awkward position with anyone else.” Did he know how I felt about Jimin or was he just saying it in general? “If I were your boyfriend, I wouldn’t at all be ashamed. In fact... But anyway, please don’t say something like that again. Don’t even think it. It hurts all of us who care about you.”

“I-I’ll try.” I would try. Was it bad that I wished Jimin were there instead, holding my hand, comforting me? Hoseok was being so kind, but I was thinking about Jimin.

Right then, Hoseok’s phone rang. He let go of my hand to answer it. It was something about work. After he hung up, he walked back to me. “S-sorry. I have to go in now.”

“No worries. I know you’re a busy person. Even so, thanks for stopping by so much. I really appreciate it.”

“I wish I could come by more.”

I chuckled. “I’d be lying if I said differently, but don’t worry. Your work should be your focus.”

He let out a small (sad?) smile. “I can do both. Actually, if it’s okay, I’d like to be there for your PT sessions if I can. Only if you’re okay with it, of course.”

“I don’t want to take you away from work even more.”

“Is that your way of saying you don’t want me to?”

“What? No, I just mean—“

“I’m just teasing,” he smirked.

“You’re bad,” I laughed. “And, don’t mess with your work schedule, but if you do have time, I would like it if you came. You’ve always been there to help me, even before all of this.”

“I wish I could be here all the time...” Hoseok’s eyes lost focus for a moment before snapping back. “But, anyhow, I’ll be back for lunch if you’re not sick of me yet.”

“I could never be. Thank you, oppa.” He waved as he left, laughing at my bandage-glove hand waving back. And then he was gone. And I was alone again. I wondered about it. What it would be like if I had fallen for him instead. For one, I knew I’d be a mess. Nervousness would probably cause me to stutter and my face to flush. But would I be happier? Hoseok was a good guy. And so was Jimin, usually. But for whatever reason, he didn’t want to be around me anymore. It hurt so much and made the time I was here that much more difficult. Then I laughed to myself. I shouldn’t be worried about who I liked because I was sure neither of them liked me like that anyway. But wouldn’t it be nice if Jimin would just look at me?

Jin had brought a laptop for me to watch movies on so I asked a nursing aide to help me set it up since my hands were still bandaged. Just after the movie finished, a nurse came in to take my bandages off. I watched her unwrap my hands, scared of what waited underneath. Much to my relief, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought they might be. The nurse said there would be scars on the heels of my hands, the pads of a couple fingers, and on a couple knuckles. She put small pieces of gauze that looked like thimbles on the tips of my finger to help protect the new skin that was growing.

After removing the gauze around my head, she gave me a mirror. My hair was a horrible mess, but at least the damage wasn’t too bad. She said most of the damage had been to the back of my head. I had a few stitches on my face and some scrapes and yellow and green fading bruises, but it wasn’t too bad. I felt a little vain for being concerned about that of all things.

Lunchtime came and so did Hoseok and Taehyung. Taehyung kept bouncing around, teasing Hoseok about how he couldn’t feed me anymore. I knew Taehyung was just trying to make me embarrassed, but he didn’t know about my feelings. I felt back for Hoseok having to deal with his cousin’s teasing, but I was mostly worried about what wrong ideas Hoseok might get as a result.

Taehyung was last in the room when they had to leave. “Stop behaving like a child,” I berated him.

“Never,” he quickly hissed back and disappeared out the door. {Brat.}

About 45 minutes later, I was surprised by Hoseok coming back. He said he was taking me down for a special treat and then assured me he cleared it with the doctor for just this once. Once in the wheelchair, he made me close my eyes and keep them closed until he told me to open otherwise. He wheeled me around for a bit. When he told me I could look, I found us to be in the cafeteria. I gave him a confused look. He turned my wheelchair to face a table. My eyes widened in surprise. My mouth was already watering. The sight of two delicious-looking ice cream sundaes made me actually squeal. I needed a break from my thoughts and what better distraction than ice cream?

He held his spoon up. “To bandage liberation.”

I touched his spoon with mine and repeated, “To bandage liberation.” We laughed at our absurdity and then dug in. I happily ate spoonful after spoonful. I looked at Hoseok to find him already looking at me. He quickly looked away, light pink now dusting his cheeks. I noticed. I wish I hadn’t. There was no way. I looked back to my ice cream.

“How’s the sundae?”

“Like heaven,” I replied. He smiled at me and I smiled back. If he never said anything, I would pretend like I didn’t know. As selfish as it was, his friendship was one of the most important things to me. I needed him to get through this. I almost wished... wished I’d fallen for him instead. Would I be happier? I hated myself for those thoughts. I just needed to talk to Jimin. I needed him to talk to me. I needed him to heal my slowly breaking heart.

Narrator POV

SooJin kept her pain so well hidden that no one knew. Especially Jimin. He was trying to keep his promise, but even the short time of ignoring her cut him to the bone. He lied to the guys when he told them he’d had late night work issues for the last two nights. He left the house without them knowing the truth. At the hospital, after swearing the staff to secrecy and checking that she was long asleep, he slipped into her room.
The first night, he was too afraid to come any closer than the doorway. He simply watched her sleep peacefully. It was the only thing he could do to soothe his heart. And without knowing how SooJin felt, he couldn’t know how much it would have meant to her to know that he had been there.

On the second night, he was brave enough to walk to her bed. He sat down on the chair next to the bed. He brushed back a stray piece of hair that had escaped her bandages. He was startled when she leaned into his touch. When she settled again, this time facing him, Jimin studied her face. He missed seeing it so close. He was there for about thirty minutes when she started to whimper in her sleep. He put his hand over hers, finding a small area where the gauze was not.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. At his voice, the whimpering stopped. Tears fell slowly down his face. “I’m sorry that you’re here. And I’m sorry I can’t do anything to ease your pain, to make you walk again. If I could trade places with you, I’d do it in an instant.”

He looked down at her hand. He was embarrassed. “The guys keep saying you’re asking about me. I’m sorry to do this to you. I know you’re concerned for your friend.” That word stung to even say. “But I have to keep my promise. I can’t let you get hurt again. I’m sure you hate me for ignoring you... but I love you too much... I love you so damn much.”

“Jimin?” SooJin’s sleep-leaden voice called to him. Jimin’s head darted up in terror. Her eyes were half open. She couldn’t know he was here! Her eyes closed again and she let out a small sigh, seemingly falling back into sleep. Jimin let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if she’d caught him. And with that, he knew he couldn’t come back again. He stood up and regretfully let go of her hand. He started for the door. “Don’t leave me.”

Jimin froze. She was dreaming. That’s all it was. She was talking to someone in her dream. He looked back to confirm that her eyes were in fact closed. And then he left.
Alright, so that's the chapter. I know Jimin didn't really show up too much in this one, but he seems adamant on keeping it like that. Anyone feel like they want to slap some sense into Jimin? And Hoseok's still fighting for her. SooJin's starting to wonder what it would be like if she had fallen for Hoseok instead. Do you wonder as well? Hehehe. I'm evil.

The next chapter will be out on Wed. I kind of want to put out the chapters faster, but I also need to give myself some time to work on the next story.

Thank you @Mavis2478 for the story.

Also, I've decided on the next story and have already started writing it. I'll put out an official announcement later when I'm close to being ready to release it. Thank you for those who voted on it.
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Bruh Squad

Omg I need to know what happens nxt my poor heart ❤️ you should write dramas this is so good lol. Can't wait for you new story
@YessicaCardenas Thank you! I'm happy to hear that. I watch a lot of dramas so that probably doesn't help, lol. And I don't get a lot of feedback so it's nice to hear what people think. I hope the new story won't disappoint :)
@SNBlackRose dramas do help in writing they help you on anything even real life situations depending lol. Your welcome I'm glad to give you positive feedback it helps to encourage a person you know 😊😊. I'm sure I will love your new story I wonder who the main or mains will be but I know that's a secret I guess I have to wait to find out ✌️
@KittenFear sorry, not sorry, lol. Kinda hate myself. Why so depressing Jimin?! Killing me. Lol.
@SNBlackRose your writing is adicting! and yes i wanna ask you thesame thing but you're asking yourself so you don't have the answer. UGH I'LL WAIT PATIENTLY
@KittenFear Thank you so much! I'm always happy to hear that. And yeah, I don't really have an answer. When I start writing, the characters kind of go their own way. Sometimes I've actually gotten angry at characters in my stories. And sometimes I go "no, that's not where this story is heading" and rewrite stuff. Writing takes on a life of its own. And thank you for waiting, lol