A constant dull ache engulfed your body, pulling you out of your dreams and back into reality, with the sun basking over the top of your sheets. Rolling over onto your back, you lifted your hands and rubbed the sleep away from your eyes. Pain slowly accompanied both sides of your body as well as above and below your waist, feeling the pain slightly higher than the days before, you already knew that it was going to be a rough day for you.
Laying in bed, you reached over to your side table and pulled over your phone, still keeping it connected to the charger, you pressed a button as the screen lit with life. Seeing the list of notifications clustered on your home screen, you scrolled through them as you tapped on the first one you wanted to answer.
As the message pulled up, you closed your eyes for a moment while the dull pain slightly increased for a moment as you adjusted yourself among the sheets before finding another comfortable position. Letting your body slowly sink back into the mattress, you thumbed through your phone trying to catch up on the activities and the lives of your friends that they posted about on social media. Finding your mind wandering with each scroll of your thumb, you quickly reached the end of your feed, to where the posts began to look familiar to the night before.
Tapping the top button, it scrolled back up to the top as you refreshed the page just to see no new posts. Sighing softly, you let your hand fall onto the sheets, looking up to the ceiling, you sighed softly still feeling tired from the night before. Closing your eyes once again, you began to drift in an out of sleep once again, trying to sleep off the soreness in your joints. You slowly woke to the pain surrounding your body once again as a vibration soon followed originating in your hand where your phone was placed.
Sliding your thumb across the screen you tapped the new message at the top of your screen as your phone worked to open the newly received message. Your sleepy eyes blinked a few times to try and focus your vision before you were able to read the name that titled the top of the conversation.
Good morning, beautiful I hope you slept well :) I was just thinking of you and thought I would drop you a message. - C
Reading the message once over, a smile pulled on your lips as your thumbs slowly moved into position to type a reply. Before you could hit the send button on your reply, he sent you another message.
I was wondering if I could come over a little later today? Spend some time with my favorite girl? - C
Feeling butterflies in your stomach, you happily smiled, letting your screen fall black, you carefully pushed yourself upright. Taking your time, you slowly moved out from under your warm covers. Grabbing your cane on the side of your bed, you pulled it close as you readied yourself to slip out of bed. Using your cane, you carefully stood up before you slowly began moving across your carpeted floor to the bathroom. Carefully filling a glass of water, you hobbled over to your medicine cabinet and slowly began pulling bottle after bottle of medication down from the shelves within.
Slipping the correct dose of pills from each bottle into a small bowl, you gathered all of your medicine before you closed the small door and looked down at the multiple pills that you had to consume. Sighing softly, you leaned yourself up against the counter as you sipped the water slowly, closing your eyes you focused on the wet liquid coating you dried throat before you let your fingers fumble around in the small bowl before choosing a small pill to swallow first.
Placing the small pill on your tongue, you took a sip of the water and gulped as you felt the pill slide down your throat.
“One down…” You whispered to yourself, trying to encourage yourself to take the other multiple pills.
One after another, you swallowed every last pill that resided in the bowl. Finishing off the water, you placed the cup on the counter as you turned around and steadied yourself on your hands on the counter top. Feeling your body ache with a dull pain, you gently bit down on your lower lip but with just a slight pain increase in that area, you lifted your eyes to look at your reflection.
Seeing yourself and your jostled hair, your night shirt falling off one shoulder as it hung loosely over your figure, you let your eyes drag over your figure as questions ran through your mind. Taking in a deep breath, tears began to fill your eyes as those questions turned slowly into doubts.
Standing there for a half an hour, you let some tears roll down your cheeks as they slowly dripped off of your chin and onto your hands below. Feeling the droplets hit your hand, your bloodshot eyes lifted to see your figure once again. A pounding ache in your head began to slowly grow as it accompanied more tears.
Feeling weakened from before, you glanced down at your cane as a sinking feeling hit your stomach as you wondered if you were even going to get rid of the device you used to help get around. Frustration began to boil up within you as you couldn’t help but ball up your fists before using the closest foot to kick your cane away.
More tears streamed down your face as the hopelessness of actually healing and getting better began to turn into a drive. Determination replaced the tears as you slowly turned away from the edge of the counter and more towards the door as you took a step. With one hand still holding on to the bull nose of the counter top, you slid one foot in front of the other to gain your own confidence. Step after step you slowly gained your confidence to let go of the counter top with one hand, taking a few more steps, you got to the doorway as one of your hands moved to the frame of the door. Taking in a deep breath, you slowly retracted your hand from the frame as you steadied yourself on your feet before taking a small step.
With a smile curling onto your lips with the successful step, you tried again, with another successful step, you slowly moved your feet across the carpeted floor one foot at a time. In between the door and the bed, your legs began to shake with fatigue, feeling yourself struggle to stay upright, you slowly spread out your arms, your knees moved towards one another as you tried to create a stable stance for yourself. Lowering your center of gravity, your muscles screamed with pain as you contorted your face in pain before you knew that you were going to hit the ground. Moving your hands from the sides downward, within a second or two, you were on your side against the ground as your breathing was slightly rapid and your heart was pounding against your rib cage.
Trying to look around you for your phone, you heard a buzzing as you had set it on your bedside table, on the other side of the bed. With a sigh, you tried to look around for any other form of help. Knowing that you lived alone, you thought back to your boyfriend, Changmin.
“Did he say the he was going to come over?” You quizzed yourself as you couldn’t remember if he had said that or not.
However a few seconds later it hit you that you didn’t answer him back. Sighing out of frustration, you tried to reach out and grab the bed frame to try and pull yourself closer to the bed but it was just out of your reach. With your energy draining quickly you took in a deep breath and looked up the ceiling.
Taking a deep breath, you tried to access the damage done, if any. But with your medications working now, you felt your exhaustion slowly relax your body as you slipped back into sleep.
Hours ticked by as you slept on the carpet, little did you know that Changmin had pulled in front of your apartment and was making his way up to your front door. Adjusting his collar around his neck, he undid a button or two as he held some grocery bags and his duffel back containing in his practice clothes, in his hands along with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. Taking one more look over himself in the reflection of his phone, he gently knocked the back of his knuckles against your black colored door. Hearing his light knocks echo through your apartment, he waited a moment as the anticipation of seeing you caused his heart to pick up.
A few minutes ticked by before he leaned forward and pressed his ear to the door, knocking with a little heavier hand, he called your name and kept his ear close to the door to try and pick up any moment that might be going on inside.
Without another reply, he backed away from the door and slid his free hand into his pocket, grasping the key chain filled with keys, pulling out the ring of keys, he thumbed through the different sized and colored keys on the ring before find the one that matched with your front door.
Slipping the key into the doorknob, he carefully twisted the key and then twisted the opened handle as he called your name softly.
“_______, I’m going to come in okay?” He made his entrance as he closed the door behind him, locking the door behind him, he slid the keys back into his pocket before he moved into your kitchen to place the bags down on the countertop.
Grabbing a vase from one of the tall cabinets, he filled the glass vase with some water before placing your flowers in the water. Beginning to put away some of the groceries and treats that he bought, he hummed to a soft tune one of your favorites songs.
Repeating the song twice even three times, he began to wonder where you were since
you usually hummed along.
Finishing the song for the fourth time and putting away all of the groceries, Changmin began to grow increasingly worried over you. Balling up the plastic bags and tossing them underneath the sink, his eyes passed over the large windows seeing the sun start to slowly dip lower into the sky.
“_______” Changmin called your name in hopes that you would answer as he continually moved throughout your abode, starting at one side of your apartment he began searching in your laundry room. Then moving into the guest bedroom, he headed out to the guest bathroom, then the living room and kitchen.
“________, sweetheart?” Changmin’s pace began to increase rapidly as he only had a few other places to search for you before you were nowhere to be seen.
Hearing a pair of knuckles knock on your door, you hummed softly as your eyes slowly opened. The moaning hinges alerted you that someone was entering as you tried to focus your eyes to the stranger.
“Sweetie, are you okay?” Changmin’s voice called to you as your eyes finally focused at his trotting form before he knelt down next to you and pressed his hands into the carpet on either side of your shoulders as you slowly rolled over onto your back. “What happened?”
Letting your mind awaken and slowly catch up to the present, you just peered into his beautiful brown eyes as he allowed you to take your time. Brushing his finger across your forehead, he tucked some jostled hair behind your ear.
“I-I was trying to walk to the bed… without my cane” You told him, your eyes turning away from his towards the end while your voice slowly tapered off.
“How long have you been on the floor?” Changmin smiled down at you lovingly as his smile pulled on his perfect lips, a light chuckle lining his words.
“Well… what time is it?” You answered his question with a question causing Changmin to laugh lightly at your cuteness.
“Almost four in the afternoon” He told you checking the slightly loose fitting watch around his left wrist.
Blush filled your cheeks as you knew just how long you had been asleep. A grumbling of your stomach filled the silence between the two of you as your hands pressed into your hallowed stomach.
“Sounds like you haven’t eaten yet either” Changmin planted a soft kiss onto your head, letting his lips linger on your skin.
Pushing himself upright, he stood over you with a smile, his hands outreached as they beckoned you to take hold of them. Lifting your hands up to his, your wrapped your fingers around his hands as you nodded to him that you were ready. Pulling you up slowly, you tightened some muscles while you relaxed others to help him as his toes pressed down on yours to keep your feet planted. Once you were mostly upright, he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you against him as his other arm placed your arms around his neck.
“Let’s go feed that hungry monster” Changmin smiled as he gently released your feet from underneath his. Scooping you up into his arms, you adjusted your arms around his shoulders as your head rested on his broad and strong shoulders.
Pressing a sweet kiss up against your temple, he carefully walked out of your bedroom, turning sideways to fit through the door, he carefully maneuvered through the doorway as he padded across the floor and moved into the kitchen. Setting you on the countertop, he untangled his arms from you as he looked into your eyes sweetly.
“What would conquer the monster of hunger?” Changmin’s hands rested on either side of you, leaning in close and taking in your beautiful eyes that he has missed so much.
Giggling at his cute tone and word choice, you named off a few things that sounded good to you and your grumbling stomach. Without a second thought, Changmin made your requests to your liking and carried a plate over to the table as you looked over at the table and then down at the ground seeing the drop below.
Changmin glanced over at you seeing your grip tighten around the edge of the countertop. Observing you for a moment, he slowly made his way over beside you and hopped up on the counter beside you.
“Would you rather we eat the food here?” He questioned in a soft and gentle tone, nodding your head slowly, Changmin brushed his hand against yours before he slipped from the counter and grabbed your food and carried it over to you.
Placing the plate on the countertop next to you, he brushed back some fallen hair from your eyes, “Anything else I can do for you, my love?”
Shaking your head gently, you reached over with one of your hands and picked up the fork that had some food all ready for you to eat. Lifting it slowly up to your mouth,
Changmin smiled as he rubbed your leg with a light touch, unsure of how much pain you were in today.
“I’m going to go wash my practice clothes, call me if you need anything” Changmin told you as you nodded in agreement.
Walking away from you, Changmin headed back over to the front door where he dropped his bag when he first entered. Grasping the handles on the bag he looked back over at you eating slowly. A sweet smile curled his lips as his heart beat faster at all of the happiness that you bring him. Feeling the love for you in his heart, he carefully walked across the apartment to your laundry room and placed his load into the washing machine, pouring in some soap and pressing the buttons as to what he wanted the machine to perform, he closed the lid and looked out at you through the slight opening of the cracked open door.
Little did he know that silent tears were trickling down your face, thoughts running through your mind about him and your condition were pulling you down into a dark place. Taking in a ragged breath along with a hitch from your tears, you lifted your hand up and wiped away your pouring tears as you placed your fork back down on the plate and buried your head in your hands.
Keeping an eye on you, Changmin’s heart dropped, seeing you lean forward, your head in your hands, his heart began to sink to his stomach. Wondering what could be running through your mind, he slowly exited the laundry room and closed the door quietly before him as your soft whimpers and sniffles filled the quiet apartment.
Changmin slowly shuffled over to you again, feeling his presence before you, you kept your head in your hands before his thumb brushed lightly over your arm.
“Do you need anything, sweetheart?” He questioned wondering if there is anything that he could do for you.
Removing your hands from your face, you reached out and grabbed his black t shirt and gently tugged the fabric towards you. Stepping forward with your gentle gesture for him to come closer to you, your arms slowly slid around his torso and pulled him against you.
Gently placing his hands on your back, he was careful not to trigger more pain or pressure on you as he kissed your head that you gently pressed against his chest. Listening to his steady heart that kept a steady and even beat.
“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, I know this is hard on you too.” You told him, more tears spilling from your closed eyes. “I don’t want to hold you back… you are a wonderful man and you deserve someone who you can go out with, who you can dance with, who can spoil and take care of you the way that you deserve to be…”
Changmin’s grip around you tightened slightly as his heart began to pick up pace as you felt him adjust his head to rest lightly against yours.
“Even out of all of the other possible girls that I could be with right now, they don’t compare to you, they haven’t in the past and they never will. You are a strong woman, stronger than you think. None of those things would matter, if I wasn’t doing them with you.” Changmin whispered, tears of his own pooling in his eyes, “Sweetie, I love you with all my heart, I don’t want anyone else, I want you to have and to hold forever and always no matter what the future holds. I don’t want to share it with anyone else than the most beautiful woman that holds my heart, that does more for me than all that I can do for her.”
The two of you let the silence linger between the two of you, the weight of one another’s words sinking into your hearts as you just held Changmin closer to you.
“I don’t want you to have to live with all of this, all of my issues, carrying me if I can’t walk, helping me do this and that” You told him more tears pouring down your face. “I want you to slow dance with someone and not have to worry about them falling off the bed or falling down when they are alone in the house.”
“Babe” He pulled away, tilting your head up so that you could look him in the eyes, “I love you and I want to be with you forever, if that means that I don’t get to slow dance with a girl I can easily give that up because I can’t give you up. No matter if you were healed, I would still worry for you if not more than I do right now. I will never stop worrying, never stop loving nor stop wanting you to be mine.”
The truth of his words began to envelope your heart as you saw the truth and the deep emotions behind his beautiful brown eyes.
“I didn’t want you to leave… but I’ll let you go if you really want to” You told him, giving him one more chance to back out if he so chooses too.
“I’m more happy where I am right now” He whispered, his head gently resting against yours as you peered into his beautiful brown eyes.
Feeling a few thoughts slowly form in your mind, you slowly snaked your arms around him, knowing that he isn’t going anywhere. Resting your head on his chest, you heard his sure heart beating as your eyes slowly closed, the thoughts in your mind began to clear as one stood alone begging for your lips to speak.
“Changmin?” You whispered his name gently, feeling his head move you knew that he was looking down at you as his gentle and loving touch gently rubbed against your back telling you to say what is on your mind. “I want to walk again… I want to be able to slow dance with you.”
His touch softened on you as you felt his warm lips press against your temple. “If that is what you would like, love. Then I will help you achieve it.”
“I do… I just don’t know how…” You told him honestly, your fingers brushing over the fabric of his shirt.
Silence began to fill the room as the two of you began to think on how to make your goals achievable. Feeling Changmin pull away, you sat slowly upright as he lifted your chin with his curled finger.
“I have an idea” He whispered, a sweet smile curling on his lips, “It is going to take some trust though.”
Nodding your head, he kissed your head sweetly before making sure you were steady before he stood up and went into the living room. Pushing the couchs back and moving the coffee table, he cleared a large area. Walking over to the built in shelved, lining one wall of the living room he turned the stereo on and began to thumb through the albums that were standing next to the speakers. Choosing a slower album, one of your favorites, he started the music as he turned down the volume so it was soft and soothing.
Returning to you, he held out his hands for you to take as you scaled your eyes up his figure. “You’re gonna have to trust me.”
Placing your hands into his, trusting him wholeheartedly, he smiled and bent down slowly as he placed your hands on his shoulders. Linking your hands together behind his neck, you kept your eyes on his while his hands rested on either side of your hips.
Helping you up to your feet, you slowly rose to your feet as he kept his eyes locked on
yours, searching for any pain behind your eyes, he made sure that you were steady on your feet.
“Remember, step with me and go your pace” Changmin whispered to you as you were unsure of what he was thinking, or what his idea is.
Sliding one of his feet back, he gently pressed his hands on your hips as his other foot joined the other. A gap was now between you and Changmin, feeling your legs stable underneath you, you looked down at your legs as Changmin watched you, feeling your hands gently grip his shirt and shoulders, he watched as you slipped one foot slightly in front of the other. Shifting your weight from one foot to the other, you let your other foot join next to the other.
“Good job love” He whispered, sealing his pride and happiness for you with a kiss.
Stepping back further and further, he slowly let his grip on you fade with every accomplished step. Praising you continually with each successful step, the two of you entered into the cleared space of the living room. With the music still playing, he moved one of his hands from your waist and gently held it out to you.
“Would you like to dance?” He questioned with a soft smile, knowing you can handle it with him there just in case you need him.
“I’d love to” You whispered, tears filling your eyes as you couldn’t help but feel weightless. Taking his hand once more, he smiled and pressed a sweet kiss against your cheek.
Beginning to slowly sway from one side to the other, you kept yourself against him as he kept the movements slow but sure. Making sure that you were keeping up with the movements, you began to catch on as you stayed against him.
Not even swaying for a song, your legs began to feel weak as you held onto Changmin a little tighter. Slowing his sway into standing with you in the middle of the room, you looked into his eyes as he gently nodded knowing that your legs were tired.
Bringing your hand back to around his neck, he carefully bent down and scooped your legs up in one arm as he held your torso in the other. Leaning against his chest, your head rested against his strong shoulder as he pressed a soft kiss against your head.
“We’ll do that everyday until you can do it on your own. Just take it one day at a time” His pink lips brushed against your temple before pressing a loving kiss against your skin.
“I’m very proud of you”
“Thank you, I would really like that” You told him as you brushed your fingertips along the side of his muscular neck. “Would you want to come and watch a movie with me?”
“What movie did you have in mind?” He questioned as he smiled, carrying you to the bedroom where he knew you always loved to watch movies.
“You know… there is that new one that came out that you wanted to see for a while” You told him with a smile, willing to give up your movie pick for his since he has already done so much for you that day.
“Sounds like a date” He giggled as he gently set you on the bed, making sure that you had everything you needed. He locked up your apartment and put away your unfinished food so that you could finish it later before returning to you.
With you having the bed turned down, the lights dimly lighting the room and the movie ready to play, he slipped into bed with you, his arm wrapping around you as you leaned against his shoulder. The strong arms of your beloved boyfriend securely around you, you rested your head on his chest while your fingers laced with his. Kissing the top of your head, you pulled the blankets over his legs then turned your eyes to the movie that is playing.
The story line progressed as your head rose and fell with every one of his breaths, his heart beating happily underneath you while his thumb brushed slowly over your fingers. Placing a kiss on you every once in a while, his other arm wrapped around your waist and gently played with the bottom hem of your shirt.
Time slowly ticked on as the darkness of night enveloped the two of you as you cuddled in your bed. With his strong, understanding, comforting arms encircling you while his love for you shined through every single action. Allowing your mind to reel slowly over the day’s events, your eyes closed slowly as your body began to fall into the comfort of sleep within the arms of the man whom you trusted, loved and cherished, for all time and eternity.