Walking home at the end of the day was his favorite, just quiet time to be by himself to think about how he can improve, what his future would look like and you. He enjoyed the quiet cool night as he walked past alleyways as he always looked down them as a safety per caution.
A single street lamp hung over the head of two people, in each others arms. He has seen this couple several time before but today he felt like he should move closer and find out who was over there. Walking closer to the couple he was able to make out the girl’s face, yours. He stopped dead in his tracks as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, frozen by reality.
You looked over as Max, your partner, began to kiss your neck. A soft moan released from your lips as you opened your eyes to see Dongwoo standing there, frozen, in shock of what you were doing. He held his face in a sad manner where his mouth was agape and he was clutching his work out bag. Dongwoo bowed to both of you and walked the other way to the road where he continued to walk and walk, to clear his mind and find out what he was going to do next.
He thought about you and him, when this all started as he ran through the signs that you had been giving him lately. Staying out late with “friends”, spending the weekend with “a friend”, always getting nervous when you walked down this street as you looked up to an apartment along the way, going to the office at such early morning hours. He knew it was coming, he just loved you more than anything.
Bidding goodnight and goodbye to Max, at least for the time being, you grabbed your things and walked to your apartment that you and Dongwoo shared. You packed a bag for you, not knowing what was going to happen when Dongwoo came back.
The door clicked open as he walked through the door, dropping his bag by the door, he hung up his jacket and welcomed you with a warm smile.
“Hello, ______” He said sweetly as he kissed the top of your head gently, he moved to the bedroom as he changed into sweats and a tank top. You followed him into the bedroom as you waited for him.
“What is it jagi?” He cocked his head a little as he looked on your distressed, lost face.
Sitting next to you he rubbed your back in circles like he had done so many times before, acting like nothing had happened.
“Aren’t you going to get mad at me? You saw what I was doing, I was going out with another man when you are here with me.” You said as tears began to fall and you pushed your hands into your leg, like you always did when you were afraid of what he would do.
“I saw what you were doing, but I am not going to get mad.” His hand moved to yours as he moved your hands into his. Your eyes met his as you ripped your hands away from his and stood up as he sat on the bed.
“Why not! You have every right to be mad, I am with another man. I cheated on you for several months now and you say that you cannot be mad at me. I know that if you did this I would… I would…” Holding back your tears, you thought about that situation and uncontrollable tears fell from your eyes. “I would have to leave you. I won’t blame you if you wanted to hurt me or disown me, or even throw me out. I would understand.”
“I can’t be mad at you. I know that you were cheating on me, I had known for a while, I just saw it tonight for the first time. I don’t want to hurt you like you hurt me. I really don’t.” He got up carefully and approached you gently rubbing your arms with his fingers as his eyes stayed on yours.
“Why didn’t you say anything then, I thought we were supposed to be honest with each other and to live together and be happy.” You said as he gave you a look, a kind look as if he was reflecting your words back to you. You hissed and closed your eyes, knowing that you beat yourself with your own words.
“Do you know why I’m not mad at you or ever going to be?” Dongwoo said quietly as you opened your eyes shaking your head slowly, “I know that I could never love anyone like I love you. I can’t hurt you like you hurt me, because if I did, then that would be like I had an affair too. I don’t want to put you through that. I love you too much to cause you any pain.” He kissed you on your forehead, and wrapped you in a warm, welcoming hug.
“You do what you have to do, just know that I will always be waiting for you, wanting to stay with only you.”
You buried your head in his chest gripping his tank top in your clenched fists. “I don’t want you to hurt Dongwoo, I don’t know what I am going to do.”
“Take your time _______. I’m not going anywhere.” He said as he petted your head gently, swaying you from side to side. Wanting to stay with you, wanting to feel that you are always loved and welcome in his arms, not matter how much you hurt him. He knew that he could never hate you because he love for you is too strong.