BabydollBre
7 months ago500+ Views
I'm (not) sorry Ch.9

Who: Reader x Jung Kiseok
What: Smut & Angst

Readers 18+ only

Story: He liked to party and you were okay with that until you started to feel like his burden rather than his prize.

(Inspired by Dean's song I'm not sorry)

Y/n's POV

"Ae-cha you're doing so well just keep pushing." You said next to her.

The next few months passed by quickly. Ae-cha woke up at eleven thirty at night of January twentieth to tell you her water broke. For the past few months you trained to be a mid wife just in case she'd have to deliver somewhere other than a hospital. She also thought about water birth but last minute she changed her mind. Over those next few months you started taking pictures of you and her and her growing belly, often sending the snaps to Kiseok. Kiseok would show them to Seonghwa who for the most part blew them off in front of the guys but Kiseok said when they were alone he asked how Ae-cha was doing and about the baby. He even started pitching in to get the baby a few things once it was born. He mostly sent money so he wasn't seen with baby material. He wanted it as hidden as possible. You liked that he was helping but you knew why he was keeping a distance. Kiseok said he recognized the responsibility he had to the baby because he had helped create it but he didn't want to get attached, as far as he knew the baby would be yours the moment it was born. She was in labor for hours, it was already nine fourty five in the morning by the time she was allowed to start pushing. She was in the hospital now and you were allowed to stay with her. You had Hakyeon call Kiseok to tell him the baby was on the way around the time she was seven centimeters. She was at her full ten now and pushing. You had no idea if Kiseok was here yet. The doctor was between her legs while you were by her shoulder and holding one of her hands.

"You need to keep pushing Ae-cha." Dr. Lee said.

Ae-cha was between tears and breathing. She had a death grip on your hand but you ignored the pain and kept her breathing.

"Come on Ae-cha you've got to push." You said.

"I can't." She cried.

"Yes you can, listen if you push the baby will be out. It'll be all over so push." You said.

She nodded through tears and took a deep breath before she started pushing again.

"I see a head." Dr.Lee said.

"You do?" Ae-cha said.

"Yes, push again okay." Dr. Lee said.

Ae-cha took a few breaths before she squeezed your hand again and pushed. To you it seemed like she was only pushing briefly, to her it must've seemed like she was pushing forever. She kept up with pushing as much as she could. The doctor announced the head was out now. She needed to push a little more to get to the shoulders. You were getting emotional, the baby was so close.

"Here's the shoulders." The doctor said.

Ae-cha kept pushing and the doctor lead the baby out. She sighed with relief when she heard the baby cry. The doctor cut the cord and cleaned up the baby before she wrapped the baby up and handed it to you.

"It's boy." Doctor Lee said.

You looked at the crying baby in your arms and smiled. You turned to Ae-cha and handed him to her.

"Wait no I can't." She said.

"Yes you can. Look at your baby boy." You said softly.

She looked down at him and cried. You wrapped your arm around her and leaned against the bed. She cried harder looking at his face. He was still a little fussy but she rocked him softly. It was all too real once she held him. This was her baby and you never intended to take him. You just wanted her to see him, you wanted her to come face to face with it. Seonghwa tried to keep distance so he didn't get close. Ae-cha tried to do just enough to take care of the baby but not get close.

She was close.

She didn't want to let go.

You wiped her tears and said,

"I'll be the best auntie ever."

"Y/n, I- I can't. I already said-"

"Stop being stubborn and take your son. When it's time for me to have a baby, I will and our kids will be the best of friends." You said.

She smiled at you and you kissed her forehead. The door opened and Seonghwa and Kiseok stepped in. Ae-cha gave the baby to you for a second so she could fix herself on the bed. You smiled at Kiseok as you held the baby. Hakyeon was right behind them.

"What is it?" Seonghwa asked.

"It's a boy." You said.

You stepped over to him and he looked down at his face. He looked like he was trying to find the appropriate reaction. His hand moved up to touch him but he hesitated. His eyebrows knitted, it was hard for him. You stepped closer to Seonghwa and his hand touched the back of his head. He took in a sharp breath. It was like he was realizing just as Ae-cha was, how real this was.

His baby.

Their baby.

You smiled.

"Would you like to hold your son?" You said.

"Can I?" He asked.

"Of course silly, after all, he is yours." You said.

You handed him the baby, he was calm now. He was asleep and peaceful and was being held by his parents. You looked into Seonghwa's eyes and saw he had teared up.

"Listen to me, you take good care of your son. Auntie Y/n is always watching." You said.

Seonghwa swallowed but looked at you then Ae-cha.

"You're not giving him up?"

She shook her head which made you smile bigger.

"I can't... I love him." She said.

Seonghwa lifted him in his arms but you saw the tears escaping his eyes. He walked over to Ae-cha and handed her the baby.

"Have you named him yet?" Kiseok asked.

"No. I haven't thought about anything." She said.

"Me either." Seonghwa said.

"How about Haneul?" You suggested.

They looked up at you.

"A perfect little angel right? Haneul is just as heavenly." You said.

"Haneul....I like that name." Ae-cha said.

"It's a good name." Seonghwa said.

You smiled and turned to Kiseok.

"Come on let's give them some time." You said.

You took Kiseok's hand and headed to the door with him and Hakyeon. You looked over your shoulder to see Seonghwa with his arm wrapped around Ae-cha. Ae-cha had the baby in her hands and they were both looking at him. Then they looked at each other and Seonghwa found the need to kiss her. Ae-cha didn't seem to be complaining. The overwhelming feelings of love for their baby must've brought out something else that already existed within them but was too suppressed to come out without some help. You couldn't help but smile at that. You, Hakyeon and Kiseok sat down in the waiting room. You all were too exhausted to drive back home at the moment. Hakyeon got up to get you some coffee and Kiseok stayed with you, holding your hand the whole time.

"How hard was it to convince Seonghwa to come?" You asked.

"Not hard, he was pissed I woke him up but when I told him the baby was coming he got up quick. It's like the best kick-start for the morning." He said.

You laughed and sat up to lean on his shoulder. You were trying to keep yourself awake.

"Baby Y/n." Kiseok cooed in his usual manner.

You smiled but didn't look up. Your eyes were closed and you were content resting your head on his shoulder and holding his hands with your fingers locked together. You simply hummed your response.

"You never had any intention of raising the baby did you?" He asked.

"Nope."

He chuckled and you finally looked up at him. He looked at you and tilted his head a little. He pecked your lips before you saw him sneak a lollipop into his mouth.

"Damn it, Kiseok I'm going to have the candy store ban you from those." You said.

He gave a small smile,

"You want a baby right? You're not still leaving that behind?"

You sighed,

"Kiseok I don't think we should talk about this-"

"Please just tell me the truth. I want to know."

You sighed and looked away from him.

"I want a baby but I want other things too."

"Like?"

"Do you really want to talk about this now?" You laughed as you looked at him.

"Now's as good a time as any."

You sighed.

"I want to be married, I want to get a new place. I mean I know that requires me to leave my roommates but we honestly weren't going to stay in the same apartment forever. I like teaching my kids but I want a different job. Still teaching just in other fields. I've finished my degree I just need to do it. I just want my life to move forward instead of moving back but I think about you and... it would just really suck if I lost you because I want all those things."

You looked down at his knee avoiding his face. His finger tips met your chin and raised your face as he cooed,

"Baby Y/n."

He brushed his lips against yours softly. Too softly, it made you want more. He wanted more too, he kissed you again and your lips parted to invite his tongue in. You sighed into the kiss as you felt your tongues dance together. Your body warming up and your heart beating a little faster, he always knew how to wake you up.

"It's a shame I don't have the energy to fuck you in the bathroom right now." He whispered against your lips.

"Oh I just love it when you talk romance to me."

You both laughed and sat up straight. He slipped the lollipop back in his mouth which you only just realized he slipped out of his mouth before he lifted your face for the kiss.

"Y/n I never said I didn't want those things I've just never thought about it."

You nodded.

"If I told you I never wanted to get married would you break up with me?" He asked.

You exhaled, does that mean he didn't want to get married?

"I don't want to talk about this." You said.

"Answer the question." He said.

"Kiseok if I answer this question you're not going to like the answer and I don't want you to feel obligated."

"Answer the question Y/n."

You sighed feeling your heart race.

"Yes. I love you Kiseok but if you never wanted to get married then eventually this would have to end. There would be no point." You said.

"Are you still afraid of me?" He asked.

His eyes narrowed on you and you looked up at him confused.

"What?" You asked.

"It'll be harder if we got married you know that, right? Fans will oppose it, they'll say terrible things, not all but enough. Enough to frustrate you. Dating is easier. I go away for tours and appearances and you'll be without me for a long period of time. It's no different from now. I'll be around girls both dancers and fans. Dating is easier."

"I love you so I put up with it. It's your career I wouldn't say anything against it." You said.

"Then why would you walk away from me if I told you I don't want to get married? Why is that the straw that breaks the camel's back?"

"What do you mean?"

"You can put up with the harshest elements of my job, the netizens, the girls, the trips away. You can put up with the long nights at the studio and maybe even not hearing from me for a few days. You'd stay for all of that but you wouldn't stay long enough to convince me I should marry you? You'd just run away?"

"Wait I don't understand."

"If you love something enough you fight for it right? If you love someone enough you give them any and everything to make them happy. The definition of love is loving someone else more than you love yourself. That doesn't mean you have to give up everything you want but that doesn't mean you should walk away form me either." Kiseok said.

You looked him the eyes with knitted eyebrows.

"Kiseok if it's not what you want why should I try and force you to do it?"

"I'm not asking you to force me but if you know how much I love you and you love me just the same, what's wrong with a little gentle coaxing? After all, a man can change his mind too." He said.

You weren't sure if he was saying he didn't want to get married and he wanted you to convince him or if he was just testing you. He only confused you.

"Don't break up with me just yet okay." He said.

You nodded but you were still trying to figure out what he just said to you. He laughed at the face you made in your confusion and you heard him bite down on the lollipop before he took the stick out of his mouth.

"How about we go home and sleep and then later on tonight I pick you up and we can have dinner?" He said.

"How about we just stay in and eat?" You said.

"Sure, I'll order something in."

"I can make dinner." You said.

"You don't have to cook."

"Well I'm not doing it alone, you'll cook with me."

"You want me to lose my eyebrows don't you?"

You laughed,

"I'll teach you, besides no way am I letting you near open flames."

He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your head.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too."

Hakyeon ended up taking you home after a while and Kiseok went back to his place with Seonghwa to sleep. Ae-cha had fallen asleep after feeding the baby so everyone could finally relax...

By the time the evening came you were well rested. Kiseok's driver came and picked you up and took you to a few stores to get supplies to cook dinner for you two. You felt weird about having someone drive you around. When you were with Kiseok, you didn't think about it but alone you thought it was too much. He helped you with bags though and he was always so polite to you. He even said that you changed Kiseok. He was happier now. That made you smile, it made you happy that he was happier.

You had to direct Kiseok in the kitchen, making sure he didn't get himself hurt in the process of cooking. He came up behind you and showered your neck with little kisses while you worked on the stove. You put him in charge of chopping up and washing the vegetables. A solid hour was spent cooking together and making jokes at each others expense. You two had fun together and when it came to the dinner he complimented you on your cooking. He had dimmed all the lights to set a good mood and you two just talked. Mostly about the baby.

"He really likes the name Haneul." Kiseok said.

"That's good but they didn't have to stick with it for my sake."

"They like it. It's a beautiful name for him. I was surprised how excited he got though. He showed Jay and the others pictures when he got to the studio."

"He wanted the baby all along he just wouldn't let himself admit it. Him and Ae-cha are the same. They both like to party and sleep around and responsibility on that level is terrifying to them. Ae-cha was more afraid to be a mother because she didn't think she could be a good one. Her up bringing kind of made her think that way. Seonghwa's fear was his career. He's given his life to music and with him being an idol there's slight worry that the baby and even Ae-cha could face some harsh treatment. Plus it would interfere with his work. Isn't that what idols think about when they start dating?"

"It's hard but it's something that can be moved past. If you pick someone strong enough to deal with it then there's nothing to worry about." Kiseok said.

You nodded. You two were done eating and you picked up your plates and took them in the kitchen.

"Baby Y/n." Kiseok called.

"Yeah?" You said washing dishes.

"I never said I was actually opposed to marriage or kids."

Why did he keep doing this?

"Kiseok leave it alone for now." You said.

"Hold on." He said poking into the kitchen.

You turned to look at him while drying your hands.

"I don't think about those things. I haven't since I asked Gi Jong. For a long time, she was supposed to be the only one and everyone after her was a temporary fix. Gi Jong was supposed to be my wife and we only talked about kids once. Most of the time it was just about making it down the isle and when she got sick the only questioned that existed, was will we get to the isle? It's been about ten years since I've had to think about things like that because it was only supposed to be her. I'm sorry I know I shouldn't be bringing her up to you-"

"It's okay. I know you loved her. I wouldn't ask you to stop loving her. I'd just want you to try an love me as much as you did her."

"I do." He declared.

You looked up at him curiously.

"I do love you as much as I loved her. You and her aren't the same though. I love you both, just differently. I can love you more because you're here. I don't love her less but I've let her go, meaning I'm not letting my past hold me back anymore."

He had another lollipop in his mouth and you walked over to him and grabbed the stick. He bit down for a second so you came close to his face and he let go of it. You smirked and placed it in your mouth and walked away from him. You glanced over your shoulder in a seductive manner and you saw him smile. You turned back and headed for the bedroom knowing he was following you. When you opened the door though, your eyes got super wide.

"Oh my god." You said stunned.

The bedroom was covered in lit candles, the scent of vanilla filled the room. Rose petals were everywhere, on the bed, the ground and sprinkled on the dresser. He changed the sheets and even the blanket. The sheets red but the blanket steel gray so you could see the petals. You looked around in awe as you stepped deeper into the room. You heard the door click behind you letting you know he'd closed it. You turned back to him,

"Kiseok what is all of this?"

He walked up to you and grabbed your hands. He smiled and kept his eyes on yours.

"You're the one I need in my life because without you to make me laugh and be stupid with, without you taking care of me and playing video games or cheering me on, I'm a mess. I need you and only you that's why I could never give you up. When we met, I was a mess and you still fell in love with me. I treated you wrong at first but I won't do that ever again. If I want you to stay I'm going to give you a good reason to stay." He said.

"Kiseok, is this about what I said in the hospital?"

"No. I've been thinking about this for a long time, too long it seems. Back before we did the redo your ex asked you if I could make you happy and I told him I could give you the world but he said that wasn't what you wanted. Even then you had told me and I didn't get it but he knew, you didn't want the world you wanted two things. So I'll continue to give you the world in addition to the things you want the most."

"Kiseok what are you talking about?" You looked at him confused.

Your face was red and your heart was racing. He was speaking so sweetly, too sweetly it had you blushing up to your ears. He smiled and pulled the lollipop out of your mouth and dropped it in the trash can. You didn't need it. He pecked your lips after tucking hair behind you ear and he whispered against your lips,

"I told you I never said I didn't what those things. I just never thought about it- until now."

"Kiseok." You inhaled.

He stepped back moving his hand to his pocket and he knelt down.

"Oh my god." You said.

He smiled,

"I'll give you everything you want and need with one condition. You have to be my wife. Will you marry me?"

"Kiseok." You said on the verge of tears.

Your blood was rushing,

"I promise you, this had nothing to do with what happened at the hospital I've been planning this for a solid month now."

"A month?" You laughed through tears.

"Yeah, I just wanted to throw you off."

"Oh well it worked." you laughed through your tears.

"Will you marry me?"

"Oh, yes!" You laughed you bent over to kiss him.

"I'm sorry. Yes." You cried and kissed him.

He placed the ring on your finger. As he stood up he wrapped his arms around you and made it to the bed. He laid you down on it and slipped his hand under your dress. He kissed you while his fingers searched for your panties and made their way to your core. You inhaled sharply while he kissed you harder. His fingers pushing into you causing you to moan out, breaking the kiss.

"Kiseok." You moaned.

He kissed your neck before he said softly,

"Say my name kitten."

He licked up your neck slowly while his fingers pumped into you. You reached for the end of his turtle neck and pulled it over his head and carefully slipped it to the floor. He flipped you over and zipped down your dress. You slipped out of it only left in your slip and he licked his lips looking at you clothed in something so flimsy. He hooked his fingers into your panties and pulled them off of you. He climbed off the foot of the bed and grabbed your calves and yanked you down. He licked his lips before you saw his head go under your slip, his tongue, flattened out and took its time dragging over your folds, making your inhale sensually. Your body rolled with the wave of pleasure being sent through you. Your hand went to his head and he pushed up your slip so you could see him as he licked at your heat. His tongue teased your clit slowly, swirling around it only to come to the sensitive nub and poke at it with the tip of his tongue. You moaned out loud then covered your mouth to shush it. He grabbed your hand and his fingers locked with yours. His hands were warm and you could hear his voice reach you as he said,

"I want to hear you."

His tongue pushed inside of you making you moan out loud again.

"Kiseoooook!" You dragged out through your moans.

You didn't want him off of you, your hand pushed him in deeper and you felt his tongue dart in and out of you. You felt his tongue wiggle inside you, so wet and warm. You were whining his name and bringing your legs higher. He wrapped his hands around your thigh and he lifted himself up. He smoothed his hands around the back of your legs and raised your ass in the air while he continued to eat you out. You could see him look down at you and his eyes were so dark and full of lust, that look alone threatened to make you cum. You tightened around his tongue and opened your mouth to get air. All you could do was pant. He licked all the way up your slit making you cry. He set your ass down and came down to your lips hard. You tasted yourself on him and it wasn't long before you heard the shuffle of his pants and you felt him grind slowly against your folds.

"Shit Y/n." His breath was so hot.

His breathing was heavy and he hadn't done much yet. You both were diving into the feelings you gave each other, far more than you could handle but more than enough. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him softly. You felt him dragging his tip up and down your core. He found your entrance and he moved in slowly. Inch by inch you took him in and he moved agonizingly slow. You whined and begged him to move faster but he said,

"Just savor this kitten."

He looked down at you like he didn't want to lose the moment. He leaned down to kiss you, his hips riding into you slowly.

"Purr for me kitten." He said.

His low voice was seductive and in your ear. Your hands wrapped around his back as your moans came out light and breathless. His hips snapped in you to reach deeper, his body was grinding against yours while laboured breaths filled your ears. He kissed your lips hard and hungry and you noticed he couldn't take it anymore. His need for you had grown and your body responded by squeezing him tight.

"Fuck you're tight." He groaned.

He moved a little faster. His hands moved down from your collarbone riding over your breast and down your stomach until he reached your waist. He moved harder, your legs wrapped around his waist and he pushed faster and deeper inside of you.

"Oh fuck. Oh my god Kiseok!" You mewled.

"You're so good baby Y/n." He moaned.

He pulled out of you and quickly turned you around. He lifted your ass some before he was in you again. The way your walls closed in on him and he stretched you out was driving you insane. He was so good. He was leaned against your body and he pushed into you, gripping your ass as he did.

"You're so good kitten." He said again in your ear.

He bit the top of your ear, making you gasp. You gripped the sheets while he kept fucking you. You pushed back while he slammed into you making you cry out. You gripped the sheets tighter and he pumped faster into you. You could hear him moan behind you, enjoying every hit into your body he made.

"I'm gonna cum." You whined.

"No." He said.

He stopped moving and pulled out of you quickly, making you whine but he flipped you on your side and he laid on his side in front of you. He brought your leg around his waist and you felt him re-enter you. Your hands went to his chest and for a second he touched your face to give you a kiss. You felt him move his hips, driving them slowly into you again. He built back up to your on coming orgasm.

"You're so beautiful kitten." He whispered.

"I love you Kiseok-ah." You mewled back to him.

"I love you too. Now look at me baby Y/n. Let me see your face when you cum."

You opened your eyes and your nails lightly scratched his chest. It was building up but too slowly you tried to move with him. You would look down to see him slightly and the look of your connection was even more of a turn on.

"Come on kitten. Come for me."

He rolled on top of you and lifted the leg that was wrapped around him now speeding up to get you to your edge. You gripped his arm as he slammed into your body causing you to moan loudly and cuss as you did.

"Oh fuck I'm cumming, I'm cumming!" You warned.

Your walls tightened and your body tensed. You moaned through it long and loud, holding on to both the sheets and Kiseok's arm. Kiseok kept riding you through it and you could hear him reach his climax, you could feel him release everything inside of you. You breathed while shaking a bit from the lingering high. Kiseok looked down at you and smiled. He scrunched his noes making you laugh and cover your face. He grabbed your hand and pulled it away. He nuzzled the other one away with his nose and said,

"My cute little kitten."

"You came inside me." You said.

He was pecking your lips and face as you spoke. His lips made their way to your neck and he said,

"Let's put it this way, we're getting a jump start on the baby."

"You're an idiot." You laughed.

Your laughs molded into soft moans while he kissed your neck but he came up and said,

"If we have one I hope we get a girl. She'll be as beautiful as you."

You smiled,

"Get me down the isle first Candyman."

"As you wish Kitten." He said.

He kissed you.

"We'll have to move you in." he said.

You nodded,

"Yup, Ae-cha can use my room for the baby then."

"I'm proud of you Y/n you're not afraid of me anymore."

"Nope, on the contrary, I love you." You said.

"I love you too." He smiled.

He lifted your hand so he could kiss the back of it. His lips were finding every inch of skin to kiss. He was on you all night, only finding a moment to get up and blow out the candles and then he was back on you again....

I'm just going to go a head and finish out the story and post the epilogue probably tomorrow. ~Babydollbre

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OMG OMG I loved it ,it was just omg way to cute thank you can't wait for the next chapter I love your stories
7 months agoReply
11
I'm glad you liked it. thank you for reading
7 months ago
馃槶馃槶馃槶鉂も潳鉂も潳 HAPPY TEARS FOR EVERYONE...ugh my heart it can't take to much sweetness lol....ugh you got ne all teary eyed it was so good 馃挅馃挅馃憤馃憤馃挅馃挅
7 months agoReply
11
Lol see this time no pain just sweetness lol 馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀
7 months ago
馃帀馃帄馃巻馃帄馃帀
7 months agoReply
10
thanks
7 months agoReply
11
you're welcome
7 months ago
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