Dear significant other,
Hi. Sometimes i wonder what love means for me... I think about what strength means and it brings conflict. Would you want to know if my soul was aching? Or would you only expect me to listen when yours aches?
Am I only allowed to show "weakness" once in a while or can i be open about it whenever i feel a certain way?
I haven't been pursuing any relationships because these questions seem so big in my mind. I feel like i have to heal before i can let someone love me. Someone other than God i mean. Would you see me broken and find me beautiful? I don't know how to let people help me heal. It is not in my nature. Or if it was... I changed it.
I want to be held.
For each thought on the thought of "being comforted" there are ten more thoughts screaming "man up." I don't even know what that means anymore. I don't like anger.
Numb. I refuse to be numb. I hope I can be exactly who I am around you. You are in my prayers.