6 months ago
SNBlackRose
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J- The Pains of Our Yesterdays  C27- For Fear That Anything Could Change
Hey peeps! Sorry about not posting on Saturday, but I didn't have time. The winds were so bad that they were causing severe delays for the trains so I had to leave super early. But it's here now, so I hope you enjoy!

Thank you to all of you who are reading, liking, clipping, following, and commenting.
Disclaimer: Many of the characters aside from BTS are made up and BTS themselves are not BTS in this story. And, of course, I don't know the BTS boys personally so their personalities are probably mostly fictional.
Please let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged.

Beginning: Chapter 1
Warning: May contain mild language. Minor innuendo.

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Narrator POV

Jimin’s phone rang. “Always bad timing.” He checked his phone and looked at SooJin. “My parents are calling.”

“Oh.” SooJin stood up and Jimin pulled her back down.

“Stay.” He answered phone. “Hello? Fine. You? What do you mean? Kim SooJin?” SooJin looked at him questioningly and he shrugged his shoulders. “How did you find out about her? We only just— What do you mean pictures?” Jimin sighed. To SooJin he said, “Someone sent my parents pictures of us on our dates.” To the person on the phone, “Yes, she’s with me right now. Uh huh. Let me… let me call you back.”

He hung up. “I don’t know who took the pictures, but my parents want to know what to do. Someone wants them to pay to keep it quiet. It’ll probably be sent to your parents as well… What… What do we want to do?” Jimin looked away. “We can keep it quiet. I know everyone else just barely found out. And… it’ll look bad for you… because it’s me…”

SooJin turned his face to her. “I don’t want to hide anything. I can put up with the things they say. In fact, why don’t we post something on your social media accounts? Then, we can be the ones to break the news and we can say what we want to say.”

Jimin’s eyes roamed her face in evident awe. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of saying I love you.”

“Good, because I’ll never get tired of hearing it.”

Jimin called his parents and told them what they decided. As soon as he was off the phone, the two took a few pictures and picked a few from the ones they already had. SooJin texted Jin what was happening and then called her parents to let them know. As soon as she was off the phone, they posted the pictures along with ‘Only love can help a person to change so much. Love is our foundation.’

Within minutes, the media caught onto it. Words of encouragement, disbelief, warning, support, and hate were left and tagged and retweeted and whatever else could be done to them. The news went big. After the press conference a month ago, SooJin became well-known and quite popular in Korea. Now, some people, in hearing about the relationship, were upset with SooJin for ‘falling victim’ to Korea’s chaebol playboy. Others were upset with Jimin for ‘ruining her innocence’. But most of the people still supported them. It was good to see that there were still so many people in the world who did believe in love and that love could change people for the better.

“My parents would like to have dinner with us,” Jimin said, coming into SooJin’s room about an hour after posting the news. “Are you up for that? Or should we do it another time?”

“I’m okay with it if you are.”

Jimin smiled and walked over to her. “I’ve never introduced a girl to my parents before.”

“Really?” She opened her arms to him.

“Mm,” he answered, burying his face in her hair. “There was only ever one girl I was serious about, but I knew better than to bring her home.” Jimin pulled away a little. “I guess I knew it was doomed to fail from the beginning.” At SooJin’s questioning look, he continued. “I guess you could say she was the female version of what I was before I met you. I fell for her pretty hard, but she had no interest in something as definitive as a relationship or even exclusivity. We never even really broke up because we were never really together. She moved away and I just… kept going.”

SooJin laid her head against Jimin’s chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. “Thank you for telling me more about you. I want us to be able to share everything, even if it hurts us or possibly hurts the other. I want you to know that nothing in your past could ever make me want to leave. I want to be the person to know you better than you know yourself. And I want you to be that person for me.” Jimin removed himself from their embrace and walked to the door. “What’s wrong?”

Jimin shut and locked the door. “Your brother said he didn’t want to know.”

A couple hours later, Jimin and SooJin were on their way to Jimin’s parent’s house. SooJin fidgeted with her hands, so nervous about what his parents would think of her. Without his eyes leaving the road, Jimin grabbed her hand and held it.

“They’re going to love you,” he assured her.

“What if they think I’m not good enough?” SooJin bit her lip.

Jimin laughed. “If anything, they think I’m not good enough. I can’t imagine their surprise when they saw the pictures. Me on a date with a girl. And more than once at that. They’ll probably tell you that I don’t deserve you and then ask that you stay with me. I know they’re worried about me.”

SooJin squeezed his hand tightly. “I’ll easily be able to tell them that I’m planning on staying.” She let out a shaky breath. “There’s no one I’d rather be with.”

They pulled up to the giant house a short time later. More words of encouragement were given to each other before the two left the car. They walked hand in hand to the front door and Jimin knocked. A woman, who, by facial features, definitely had to be Jimin’s mother, answered the door.

“Jimin-ah!” she cooed. Jimin let go of SooJin’s hands only long enough to hug his mother.
“SooJin, this is my mom. Mom, this is SooJin.” SooJin clasped her hands in front of her and bowed politely.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Park.”

Mrs. Park surprised the two by hugging SooJin. “Please, just call me mom. I know you don’t remember, but I’ve met you before, when you were just a little kid. I never would’ve thought… Anyway, please come in.”

“Y-yes, m-mom.” Mrs. Park smiled at SooJin’s sweet nervousness. Even if she hadn’t known SooJin’s family and even if she wasn’t the only girl Jimin had brought to meet his family, she knew she would’ve liked SooJin immediately.

They walked in and a man walked up to them. “Father,” Jimin greeted him. They shook hands. Jimin turned and introduced SooJin. “Father, this is SooJin. SooJin, this is my father.”

SooJin bowed politely. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Park.” SooJin looked back up. Jimin’s father was a handsome older man. There were some features he shared with Jimin but it looked like Jungkook had taken after him more.

“Is there something interesting on my face?” Mr. Park asked playfully.

SooJin blushed a bright red. “N-no, I’m sorry. I was just thinking that Jimin looks like his mother and Jungkook looks like his father.”

Mr. Park chuckled. “Yes, that’s definitely true. It’s unfortunate that Jimin isn’t as handsome as me.” SooJin turned away and covered her mouth to keep from laughing.

“Yah. What’re you laughing at?” Jimin poked SooJin in the side, making her jump slightly. “Are you saying Jungkook is more handsome than me?”

“I didn’t say that at all,” SooJin managed to squeak out.

“Then why’re you trying so hard to not laugh, huh?” He walked in front of SooJin and she turned to hide her face again. “Yah. That’s not nice.”

“Who are you saying ‘yah’ to?” Mr. Park asked. “If I’m not mistaken, SooJin is older than you, is she not?”

SooJin’s body started shaking more from the suppressed laughter.

“W-We don’t really use formalities,” Jimin quickly answered. “Right, SooJin?”

SooJin just looked up and saw Mrs. Park who was also trying to not laugh. Their eyes met and they both burst out laughing.

“Now’s the time to be worried about how well they’re getting along,” Mr. Park warned his son with a laugh. “When your girlfriend and mother get along that well… watch out. Women are dangerous when they work together.”

Jimin smiled in adoration. “I’d rather that than them not get along. I’m just glad SooJin can feel more comfortable now.”

Mr. Park put a hand on his son’s shoulder. “That look, that thinking, it shows how much you truly care about her.”

The two women’s laughter finally settled. “Shall we go to the dining room?” Mrs. Kim suggested.

“Let’s.” Mr. Kim gestured in that direction. Mrs. Kim had linked hers and SooJin’s arms as they walked with Jimin to the dining room.

Once there, Mr. Kim had to remind his wife to sit by him and let SooJin sit by Jimin. That was settled and Mrs. Kim started asking the typical mother questions. She already knew how the two met because of the press conference, but she wanted to know how their feelings came to be.

Jimin indicated for SooJin to go first. He, too, was curious about how. It still didn’t make sense to him how someone as perfect as her could fall for someone like him.

“I’m… I’m not really sure, truth be told. I, uh, I knew I felt something for him, but I didn’t know exactly what it was. I knew I had feelings for him, but I was so lost and confused. I wasn’t sure which one I had feelings for…”

“Which one?” Mrs. Kim questioned.

“I, uh…”

“Hoseok, right?” Jimin asked, though it was more of a confirmation. For the longest time, he was certain that that’s who she had feelings for.

“Jung Hoseok?” Mr. Kim asked.

SooJin quickly clarified. “When I moved into the house, JiEun, Hoseok, Jin, and Jimin really took care of me, even above what the others did as well. Jin felt like a brother to me, but both Hoseok and Jimin didn’t have that vibe. They were so kind to me when I wasn’t used to that kind of treatment. It left me confused as to what was friendship and what was more. But after the accident, the first person I looked to, the first person that came to my mind was Jimin. That’s when I knew. But I didn’t know how he felt.”

“Guess that makes it my turn,” Jimin started. “As soon as I saw her, I felt something, but I didn’t know what it was either. I thought it was just a physical attraction at first, so I tried to stay away, distract myself. But when that didn’t work, when all I could think about was her, how she was feeling, how she was fitting in, whether or not she was okay, when I started getting jealous, and wondered what she thought about me, that’s when I knew it was more than a simple physical desire.”

Mrs. Kim watched them with admiring eyes. She could see the love they had for each other. “And how did you figure out you both felt the same?” Mrs. Kim frowned when Jimin looked away guiltily. “What did you do?”

“Whatever excuses I have are unimportant. The bottom line is that… I was bad. Very bad. I pushed her away so far, I was sure she had to hate me.”

SooJin cut in. “Jungkook convinced me to wait. And when I was finally able to see the pain he was in from the things he was doing, I confronted him. I found out the reason why he was doing what he was doing. He had good intentions, however misguided they were. And then…”

“Things happened. We decided to be an actual couple. I couldn’t have been happier.”

“Me as well.”

Dinner was brought out and placed on the table.

“Well” Mrs. Kim clapped her hands together “I, for one, am very glad it happened. Jungkook and Jimin had talked about you before during family dinners and your parents have talked about you as well after they found out who you were. I know you’re a great person so I can only imagine how good you’ll be for our son. I know he’s lacking a lot and he… doesn’t have the best history. But you’re with him even so. That must mean you truly care about him enough that you can look past his faults.”

SooJin smiled at Jimin and held his hand. “Jimin has told me so many times when I told him about my past, that the past helps make you who you are, but it doesn’t define who you are. You are who you choose to be. I chose to not be a victim anymore and Jimin chose to change. And that decision is what’s important.”

They started eating dinner and continued talking about many different things including what their plans were for the future. SooJin told them about her career plans for social work and what she was hoping to do. SooJin and Jimin choked when Mrs. Park asked them when people could start expecting wedding invitations. Mr. Park told her to let them be and the question remained unanswered.

During dessert, Mrs. Park started telling embarrassing stories about Jimin. Jimin kept trying to get her to stop, but the women just laughed and continued. SooJin held his hand, letting him know that they would stop if he really wanted them to.

Jimin kissed her hand and whispered in her ear, low and sensual, “Have your fun now. I’ll have my fun later.” SooJin cheeks turned a little pink.

She turned her head to his ear, “Promises, promises”, and then she turned back to the story.

When it was time to leave, Jimin knew that everything was perfect. He had SooJin, his beautiful, perfect girlfriend whom he was head over heels in love with, both of his parents really liked her, and she seemed to like the both of them. With a promise of bringing SooJin to the next family dinner, where he would no longer be the fifth wheel because of Jungkook and JiEun, they departed.

They laced their fingers together as soon as Jimin started driving. SooJin immediately started talking about how much she liked Jimin’s parents and how funny his mom was. Jimin told her how happy he was that they all got along. SooJin became serious.

“I know we just started dating, so I’m not expecting a plan or anything or even a definitive answer… but… have you thought about… us? About the future? What you want or don’t want to do? If not, it’s fine. Like I said, we only just—“

“I already know a few things,” Jimin cut her off. SooJin turned to him. “I love you, and that’s not changing. Someday, when we’re both ready, I’m going to ask you to marry me. I have to do my enlistment so I don’t know if you want to get married before or after. I can wait if you want to. And we both want kids, so when I come back, we’ll have kids. You’ll already have your career on track and I won’t ever ask you to give that up for being a stay-at-home wife and mother. Whether a daycare or babysitter, or probably my mother or your mother will insist on volunteering, we’ll have someone to take care of them.

“We’re going to raise our kids to be amazing adults. We’re going to grow old together and you’re going to laugh when I start getting grey hairs and I’ll laugh when the same happens to you. I’m never going to get tired of waking up to your face in the morning and we’ll be the couple that everyone wants to be. That’s what’s going to happen. The details we can work on later.” Jimin turned to look at her when they stopped at a light. There was a brilliant smile on her face and a few tears spilling over. Jimin let go of her hand to hold her face. “Are you okay?” he asked with worry.

“No.” She covered his hands with hers. “You’re killing me with how you’re making me fall for you even more. It’s not fair.”

Jimin sighed in relief and chuckled. SooJin leaned over to give him a short kiss. A honk behind them alerted them to the now green light. They laughed and went back to holding hands.
When they got back to the house, Jin inquired about the dinner. The two were happy to say that it went well. Instead of going back upstairs, SooJin directed Jimin to the library. With confusion, he followed behind her. She stopped in front of the big table in the middle of the room.

“Kiss me,” she told him without explanation.

“What?” Jimin laughed.

“Kiss me.” With a chuckle, Jimin kissed her, both of their eyes fluttering close at the gentle and loving kiss. When Jimin pulled away, SooJin had a smile on her lips.

“Care to explain?”

“This is where we had our first kiss.” Jimin’s smile faltered, remembering his drunken stupidity and her reaction.

“That’s—“

“I’m rewriting what this spot means to us.”

“What…?”

“When you kissed me, I wasn’t thinking about you, I wasn’t crying because of you. I had a flashback, a sort of PTSD moment I guess, of my adoptive father and that man in the alley the night you first met me.”

“O-oh…”

“And when you panicked and left, I was scared. I was afraid. I didn’t know what I was afraid of: the things I was reminded of, that our friendship might be destroyed, the fact that I didn’t know where who my feeling were for yet, the feelings the kiss gave me… I didn’t know what to think or how to feel. And when you pretended like you didn’t remember, I let that be my way out. Until it started bothering me. Of course, I was bothered by the way you avoided me, but there was something else… I think, even at that time, even though I didn’t really know where my feelings were… I think I was afraid of you drifting away. More than just losing you as a friend, I was losing you.

“And then there was the accident and everything that came after. We never got around to talking about this moment, this kiss, and what it meant.” Jimin’s hands gently caressed her face, his eyes wandering over it as well. “What are you thinking about?”

“How stupid I was. How sorry I am. What would have happened if I changed something? Just one thing. And, I was thinking about how lucky I am.” SooJin smiled.

“Both of us were stupid, but neither of us should be sorry. Remember, the past brought us here. If we changed even one little thing, it could change everything. What if changing one thing made it to where I was never able to figure my feelings out? Or what if it made me continue to be afraid? What if it meant that I would’ve never confessed, I would have never hoped, I would have never gone to see you when that woman stormed out? Then I wouldn’t have confronted you, you wouldn’t have finally told me the reason, I wouldn’t have kissed you, we wouldn’t have had that night. We wouldn’t have had any of this. That’s what ‘what if’s can end up as. As much as there was pain… it was worth it. To be here now, to have you, to have us. I wouldn’t change anything for fear that anything could change.”

Jimin suddenly grabbed SooJin around the waist, with a squeal on her part, and lifted her to sit on the edge of the table. He pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “How are you real?”

“I could ask you the same.” They both smiled as the stayed with their foreheads pressed together, savoring the intimacy, and yet innocence, of the moment.

“This isn’t what I think it is, right?” came Jin’s voice from the now open doorway.

The two chuckled in acceptance of defeat. Quiet and moments alone were few and far between with Jin wandering around.

“Depends on what you think it is, hyung,” Jimin turned to Jin. “Because if you thought it looked like a heart to heart, then you’d be right. If you thought it was something else, then, yes, it’s not what you think it is.”

SooJin laughed as she lightly hit Jimin. “Don’t antagonize him. You’re just gonna make him want to interfere more.”

“My sister is smart,” Jin teased. “You should be nice. Not only because I’m your hyung, but also because I’m your girlfriend’s big brother.”

Jimin mockingly bowed at the waist like a subject before his king. “My liege.”

“Smart ass.” He waved Jimin off. To SooJin, he said, “Make sure your boyfriend behaves before I have to wring him by his neck. I’d rather not try to find a place to bury the body. It’s too much work.” He laughed as he left out the door, leaving the door completely open.

The next week was full of secret little, mostly innocent, rendezvous between Jimin and SooJin in the music room and their own rooms. Sometimes, Jin just ‘happened to wander by’ and other times, they were able to enjoy their time together. Jimin even snuck into SooJin’s room on Friday night, fell asleep, and almost got caught by Jin on Saturday morning, much to the others’ entertainment.

On Saturday night, everyone was in the game room when the doorbell rang. Taehyung ran to the monitor in the room.

“Who is it?” he asked the woman on the screen

Taehyung watched the woman fidget nervously. “I, um, I’m looking for Jiyou—I mean, SooJin.” Her starting to say Jiyoung’s name caught his attention.

“Noona!” Taehyung called for SooJin who was laughing at JiEun beating the guys on Super Smash Bros Brawl.

SooJin turned her head towards him while her eyes were still on the TV. “What?”

“There’s a woman at the front gate. She’s looking for you. She started saying Jiyoung’s name.”

That caught everyone’s attention. The game was paused and SooJin jumped up to go to the monitor. Taehyung heard her breath catch.

“Auntie…”
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There, see? It wasn't so scary. Sorry @KittenFear. I wanted to tell you that the thought of being so evil about meeting his parents had never crossed my mind, but I didn't want to spoil anything. It had absolutely nothing to do with my apparent inclination towards sadism with my stories. Nothing at all *coughcough*.
But anyhow, I hope you all enjoyed. I had so much fun writing all the pretty stuff to make up for all the angsty stuff I wrote before.

So, story's almost over. One more chapter and then the epilogue. That's it. Thank you all for sticking by me through this long journey. I was so severely tempted to quit when I lost half of my story, but I'm so glad I continued it. I think it turned out a lot better than it would have before. It was worth the suffering of rewriting it all.

I'll see you all on Wednesday.

Thank you @Mavis2478 for the story.

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1 comment
YOUR APOLOGY MEANS NOTHING UNNIE! I WAS ALL HAPPY, AND THIS AUNTIE SHOWED UP! All i'm saying is she better not be snoopin up Soojin for money because i'll fight. I will. I wanna cry... and also want some smutt of Jimin and Soojin at the same time- listen you've got me all conflicted and shit i don't know what to feel. My hearteu Unnie... my hearteu...
6 months ago·Reply
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@KittenFear holy crap, I almost burst into laughter at work. It took everything I had to control myself, lol. Poor Jimin. It is BTS, it's one of the stories I mentioned I might write, you seemed keen on that particular story, and smut-wise, I'm definitely considering it. Right now, as far as I've written, there's a lot of tension, lol. If I do smut, I might consider having a clean and mature version for those chapters. But I'm still not confident in my ability to write it well. And it won't be Jimin. New person, lol
6 months ago