He told me today that his wife is pregnant. I knew they were trying but it still hit me like a ton of bricks. I guess I don't understand what he's even doing with me if he's starting a family with her. I hate him right now but I'm putting myself throught this too. I knew what was up from the beginning. I had allowed myself to hope that maybe at some point he'd choose to be with just me but now with her being pregnant I know that will never happen and that hurts. It feeds into my deepest insecurities that I'm never someone's first choice. I'm just the side chick, the other women, the place holder I mean nothing to anyone. Even him who has loved me better and deeper then anyone else doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with me. I don't understand why.