Dear Significant Other,
I am tired.
I have probably addressed this before but I still struggle when it comes to healing with people. I wish it was easier because I know love requires vulnerability. I know you will hurt me. I need to be able to tell you what you did to bring me pain. I know I will hurt you and I hope you'll be able to explain to me where I went wrong. I need to do better.
I am so tired.
I wonder if i'll be able to call you when life isn't going right. I wonder if your voice will calm me. Saying that reminded me of what has been on my mind lately... Beauty and the beast. Why am I taught that my rage can be removed by a woman? Or am I misinterpreting it and love is what soothes... I want to be comforted when I'm angry. My anger always turns to tears now days because I don't want to lash out. I don't want rage. I don't want it. There is no human who will remove rage from my being if i don't face it myself first. Be calm when you are by yourself, when no one is looking. Be calm. Let God. That phrase scares me. Love me in the hard times, or try to. I'll try to love you in the hard times as well.
I'll try to love myself in the hard times and I pray you do the same for yourself.
My love, please take care.