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I don't know how old you are or how much experience you have. But here you go. You are really good at drawing eyes. And I can tell that your picture you drew is of the one you were trying to draw. But your shading is all over the place I can't tell where the light source is coming from. And your body portions are off. I drew very similar to this when I was around 14 yrs old. And what helped me was taking lessons and reading how to draw body positions and facial composition books. You have talent and potential and if you allow others to help you, you will greatly improve.