Who: Reader x Lee Seonghwa What: Angst, Smut (eventually) some fluff. Story: Social anxiety is the worst thing to deal with. It's amazing you have friends at all but when your crush and friend, Seonghwa, tries to get closer to you your Anxiety and trust issues threaten to push him away Y/n's POV The cruise ship had to come back early to rush your father to the hospital. Soo Ran was distraught over her father being taken to the ER. You found yourself in the hospital waiting room with her. Your other half siblings bunched around her and they were just as distraught. Seonghwa rubbed your shoulder to comfort you but you weren't interested in the comfort. You stared at Soo Ran. "So you're his daughter, my sister. Was this on purpose? Were the two of you just plotting?" You said. "Y/n I promise you it was nothing like that." She sounded hurt. "The medication you gave me, it's too high I feel like a zombie was that planned?" You asked. "It's too high? Why didn't you tell me? I would've reduced it." "Do I even need it?" "Y/n please I'm sorry I didn't tell you I only found out after I helped you the first day." "How?" You wondered. "I looked at your medical records." "You looked me up?" You said upset. "I had to. It's required when medication is involved." "You didn't tell me." You said. "It wasn't the right time." "And when would be the right time Soo Ran? When I was drugged up enough not to freak out." "I didn't want you to have an attack the last one sent you to the hospital. You were getting better Y/n, please believe. I wasn't trying to deceive you I was trying save you from the pain." She said. You looked away. Lies. Stop it. All lies. She's lying, they're lying. "Stop it, stop it." You said turning from her. Seonghwa wrapped his arms around you. He whispered, "It's alright just breathe." You were trying to. You had gotten yourself worked up to the point you could feel it. Anxiety was putting pressure on you: she was trying to get her power back. "She's not even family Soo Ran leave her alone. She shouldn't be here." Your brother said. "That's not true she is our sister." She fought for you. "She didn't grow up with us. She's an outsider Soo Ran. Jeonghan is right she shouldn't be here." "Stop it, the both of you. How selfish can you be? She is our sister, she is family. Like it or not he went outside his marriage and he had a child, she is in our blood." She snapped at them. They quieted down and your panic some how settled. You looked up at Seonghwa. "They're right I don't need to be here. I've heard what I needed to hear." You said. He nodded. Soo Ran stood up. "Y/n he was changing his life around. He wanted to reach out to you. I told him to wait until you were better I didn't want you to go into an attack. He wanted to apologize-" "Enough!" You said. You looked back at her. "You're my sister I can't help that. I trusted you, I came to a point where I trusted someone. Again I'm betrayed by blood. I'm not mad at you, more at the situation. More at myself. I just know I don't belong here." You said. The doctor came out just as you two were about to leave. He gathered around your siblings and your mind told you to stay just to find out what was going on with him. "His kidneys are failing he's on the waiting list for a transplant but unfortunately I'm not sure if he'll make it by then. Even if his name were to move up, we can't find a donor for him with the same blood type." He said. Soo Ran looked at you. "Y/n you're blood type is O positive. You two match-" "No. Absolutely not." You stopped her. "Y/n please. We're all type A we can't donate to him. You'd save his life." "Why should I care about saving him?" "Y/n he's your father." She said. "No! He's your father. That man broke my heart, he slept with my mother and left her. He continued to sleep with her thinking I was aborted and when I came with the hope of him wanting to get to know me he looked me straight in the eyes and told me to get the fuck off his door step and never come back. He told me I shouldn't even be alive. He is the cause of twenty two years of constant pain. He is part of the reason I have trust issue and anxiety. He has ruined me. He is not my father. He's yours. He grew up with you, loved you, called you his daughter. He disowned me and wished me dead. He's no father to me he's a sperm donor. If I could bleed every ounce of him out of my body I would." You snapped. Soo Ran cried. She sat down not being able to take it that her father would die. You were being selfish. This sort of revenge, this sort of stubbornness it came from pain, anger and burning hate. He wanted you dead, you in turn would let him die. In turn, Soo Ran would be heartbroken. There was no way to stop it, either way one of you would be hurt. "Y/n. Please help him." Jeonghan said. You chuckled humorlessly. You rolled your eyes and turned around. "I'm not your sister remember. You should beg another stranger to help you. Don't act like I'll play savior now." You said. You walked off with Seonghwa behind you. You were amazed that you had been this cold. Seonghwa stood outside with you and you two waited for a cab. You finally took in much needed fresh air. You were shaking though. This you weren't sure if it was anxiety or anger. Both we're going through you maybe it was a mix, maybe they fused and became worse. You started crying. Seonghwa quickly hugged you. You buried your face in his chest and cried. Seonghwa's POV He took her home and put her to bed. He was soaking in everything that happened. The very things that her father said to her broke his heart. He very much understood why she wouldn't want to save him. It made sense that she was upset and honestly he didn't deserve that kindness but Soo Ran didn't deserve that heartache. She had done a lot for Y/n and like it or not the fact of it all was that Soo Ran loved him because he was her father. He raised her. It was a tough situation both girls had valid reasons for feeling the way they did. Seonghwa had no idea what he was going to tell her. He asked her to move in before this all happened. She looked like she was going to say yes before all this happened. He met with Soo Ran for coffee the next day. She had puffy eyes and looked exhausted. She stayed at the hospital all last night she was still in the same clothes today. "I'm sorry." He said. "It's okay. I mean she's right. She is it's just- " "I know and I'm not asking you to be okay with her decision just try to understand it. This man broke her heart and your asking her to give him an organ. It's just something she can't do right now." "He doesn't have a lot of time. About a year and a half ago he was diagnosed with cancer and they've been treating him but a few months ago his kidney started giving out. The cancer was removed but his kidneys were shutting off on him. He was just starting to pay penance for the things he had done. He went and apologized to her mother I didn't know until recently and he told my mother about the affair. He's been trying to keep her. He's been apologizing and doing whatever he can to find her forgiveness. He said he wanted to talk to her. He knew she would be upset, he knew she'd hate him but he wanted to take it back. He wanted to build a relationship." She said. "A little too late I'm afraid." "She's twenty two she still has a life to live she has time to forgive him he doesn't have time to really seek it." She said. He nodded, "I feel awkward trying to ask her to do it. I understand both sides I really do but you understand what you're asking her to do don't you?" He asked. She nodded. "We'll figure something out." She said. "Soo Ran I'm sorry."
"No I understand... She said her medication made her feel like a zombie. Was the dosage to high for her?" "She's getting better but the day before she just seemed really tired like she didn't want to do anything but she didn't take it yesterday so she was much better. Her anxiety is still there though." He said. "I'll take it down I may have over estimated it. If I reduce it enough she should be normal again. It'll keep her at bay." She said. "I'll talk to her. I just don't know what it'll do." He said. "That's okay. Don't cause her any trouble. We'll figure it out." She said. Y/n's POV You had left the house an hour after Seonghwa left. You needed to get some air. You found yourself back at the hospital and you stared into his room. Your siblings were gone. You walked in the room and stared at him he was still asleep. You went and sat in the window. "They want me to give you a kidney. They say I'm a perfect match and I guess since I am blood relation they would like me to give you one." "Y/n." You looked back and saw that he woke up. "Amazing that you even know my name. Amazing that you care at all or is this just the plot to another colorful story? Just another fucked up chapter for you to create." You said. "I'm sorry." He said removing his mask. You scoffed and sat down on the window to face him. Your eyes were cold. "No you're not. You've never once been sorry for the things you've done or said." "I've tried to reach out to you." "The way I did you?" "Y/n." "Look, save me the sob story I've got my own. I find it quite ironic that the very man that wished me never to be born is now relying on me to save his life. Well at least your family is anyway. Where's your wife by the way? I didn't exactly see her rushing into the emergency room with grief and concern." You said. The amount of bitterness in your voice was undisguised. It was clear that you were upset at him. He looked at you with watery eyes but you weren't moved. "She's taking some time away from me." "Smart woman, although maybe she should've done it sooner." You came down from the window and walked to his end of the bed. You leaned against the bottom post and stared at him. "I can never go back and erase what I've done." He said "Yeah good thing too, you'd be out of a kidney donor. Your kids really would have to watch you die then." "Y/n." "Just stop, there's no part of me that's going to forgive you and even if I was it sure as hell wouldn't happen that easily. I didn't even come here looking for you to beg for forgiveness. I was mad yesterday but you're aware of that. If I give you my kidney that means you'll live right? Probably, so I thought about it, if I let you die I would be no better than you and the doctors don't think you'll make it before you get bumped up the wait list. So I'll give you the damn thing. At least then I get the satisfaction of knowing a part of me will literally always be with you. You won't be able to deny it anymore. You won't be able to deny me anymore because I'll always be with you. A part of me, your bastard daughter, you'll no longer deny. You'll live with it and die with me apart of you. I think that's a sweeter revenge then letting you die out quickly. They'll prep you for the surgery, enjoy your rest Kim Bo Gum." "Y/n, you're my daughter. Please keep an open mind, I want to fix this." "It took you dying to want to fix a relationship you could've built six years ago when I showed up on your door step. There's nothing left for you to save, I'm just a stranger giving you a kidney. It happens to everyone." You said and you walked out. You closed the door behind you and sighed. Silent tears ran down your face while your hands trembled. Are you trying to find a purpose? I'm not sure what I'm doing. Your poor father, what if he's using you? You're not going to win this one sorry. Just go back to sleep. Do you think you'll ever get rid of me? I don't know but I'm sure as hell gonna try. You walked off and headed back home. Seonghwa was waiting outside when your cab pulled up. He came over to you and wrapped his arms around you. "Where did you go?" He asked you. "To the hospital." You said. He looked down at you. "I told him I'd give him my kidney. I already told the doctors. Tomorrow they're going evaluate me just to make sure I can do it. If all goes well they'll give him my kidney." "What changed your mind?" You gave a soft laugh, "I told him it was because he'd have to live with a bit of me inside of him but really it was because of Soo Ran. I may not like that she kept me in the dark but I understand her intentions. I was just upset so I said something's I probably shouldn't have. In all truth, I can't hurt her that way." He cupped your face, making your hair press up against your cheek. He smiled at you and said, "You're a good girl." He leaned down to kiss you softly. "Yes." You whispered. He looked at you confused. "You asked me a question yesterday, all the commotion made it hard to answer but the answer is yes." He smiled and kissed you. "You're moving in with me? Kitten, we'll be sharing our own bed." "Maybe after the surgery you can teach me some new things." You said. "Gladly." He said wrapping his arms around you and sweeping you up in a kiss.... 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