hskswife
5 months ago1,000+ Views
once 12 || m. yoongi fanfic
! It was your day off and there was nothing left for you to do. You caught a glance of your wrists the scars have multiplied since the last time 4 months ago. Whenever something stressful would happen you always found yourself picking up the blade. Even if you tried to stop you always found yourself in search of a cure to stop the emptiness. You threw away the blade to find yourself buying another one at the store. Your phone had finally died off since you changed your number. No calls or messages. You were alone now. You isolated yourself because you figured this was the best way for you. To start anew. You didn't even tell Baekhyun your new number. You changed the channel on the tv when you heard the door opening. "Y/N? Are you home? Its me." You turned your head surprised to find Chanyeol standing on the doorway with Irene. And following right behind him was Nana and Jongdae. Nana had a bump. What surprised you the most was Yoongi's presence. You got up from your couch,"Nana...you look well." She nodded awkwardly as she walked up to you,"And you look horrible." Her eyes widened as she took a glance at your wrists. You quickly pulled away covering them and laughed, "What's that supposed to mean?" Before Nana can speak or look at your wrists again you grabbed your jacket off the couch and put it on. You never noticed but the jacket that once fit you so well was now bagging over your now thin frame. "Have you even eaten properly Y/N?" Jongdae asked as Yoongi and him looked around the kitchen. You tried to remember the last time you had even eaten. With work and the schedule you had it was hard for you to find sleep let alone eat. You looked down at your feet. You must look so pathetic and helpless to Chanyeol and Irene. "Sorry I was going to go grocery shopping yesterday but I forgot. You can just--" Nana shook her head she grabbed your hands and pulled up the sweater sleeves,"What the fuck is this?" You forcibly took your hands away slightly pushing Nana. She fell back as Jongdae ran catching her,"Y/N! What the heck be careful!" "Sh-She touched me first I-I..." "Y/N are you okay?" You froze all of a sudden. You don't know why but the feeling of panic took over your body. You couldn't breathe. You felt like someone was choking you. It was getting hard for you to breathe,"I-I..." You were starting to tremble. Incapable of taking a proper breathe before you knew it you were on your knees on the floor. You couldn't hear anything you just watched as they all walked over to you. Calling your name before passing out. -------------- You woke up to find yourself attached to IV drops,"Oh Y/N you're awake." You nodded as you slowly got up,"Yoongi...what happened to me?" He slowly patted your forehead,"It was a really bad anxiety attack..." You looked down at your hands to find your wrists had been fully exposed. Yoongi watched you as he grabbed your hands and kissed the scars on your wrists and began crying,"Y/N...maybe if I didn't break up with you that day. You never would've done this to yourself." Tears started to fall from your eyes,"Yoongi...you would've never known." He cried continuing to hold your hands,"If you ever feel like hurting yourself please just hurt me instead." You cried as Yoongi hugged you. For the first time in so long you felt something other than pain. You felt loved. But you were scared to feel love. Scared of how fast that can all change. Scared of getting hurt again. Especially with an idol. You didn't want to go through that. Not again. "Yoongi is Nana okay?" "I'm fine. Jongdae was just overreacting." She said as she walked in Jongdae closing the door behind him. "But are you okay? Malnutrition. Anxiety. Self ha--" She choked on her words as tears formed,"...Harm I'm sorry Y/N I shouldn't have ignored you. I only ignored you because I was scared you'd tell me I told you so. You were right Jongdae didn't care we worked it out and I ended up moving in with him with out even fixing anything with you. If I had known how dangerous it was for you to be left alone I-" "None of it was your fault. I shouldn't have tried to act like I knew better than you in a situation like that." She cried,"Please don't hurt yourself anymore." You smiled. Even though everything you thought went wrong was on the course of fixing itself. The numbness had stayed. You couldn't promise not touching that blade again but you knew you'd try. "It's not easy to just stop Nana...trust me I tried but I'll do my best." "Come back to work with EXO please..." Jongdae pleaded. You shook your head,"Sorry but the financial department of my new company needs me more than ever. Somebody had fucked up last month's spending count and now I have to fix it." Jongdae shook his,"Accounting isn't what your build for Y/N its styling. But if your happy...unfortunately for you. You have to be here a while." You tilted your head,"What do you mean?" "Doctors orders you stay here for 2 weeks to be monitored." You nodded slowly as Nana laid you down,"Get some more shut eye okay?" ------------- You carefully swallowed the medicine the doctor had given you for your depression. They made you feel normal for a while but being monitored by the doctors and being constantly fed at certain times made you feel like a pet or an exhibit at the zoo. The only time of day you had relief was when Yoongi had come by. "Here Y/N eat this sandwich." You nodded as you took the sandwich from his hands. "Thanks." You smiled as you took a bite out of the sandwich. "Has Baekhyun visited you yet?" You shook your head looking down on the sandwich."He must be blaming himself. He feels at fault. He said why didn't he know something was off about your behavior the last time he saw you." "He doesn't have to feel bad...I know he was only thinking about me." Yoongi smiled as he patted your forehead,"I'll talk to him now eat." You smiled as you slowly chewed the food. "Its good Yoongi." He gave you his gummy smile as he wiped off the mayonnaise on your lips licking it off his fingers. You felt yourself go red. He laughed noticing your flustered reaction. "I love you. I'm going to keep telling you this until you believe that you're no longer alone and don't have to do this..." He said gently running his thumbs over the scars on your wrist,"...to make yourself feel better Y/N." You looked at Yoongi who got up from your side and sat down at a chair by the corner as he took his laptop out. Headphones and began bobbing his head back and forth. He was working on his music. You remembered how he would get so lost in the music so fast back then too. Some things never change you thought as you laughed taking a bite out of the sandwich determined to finish it. And for the first time in so long you felt determined. Even if it was just finishing a sandwich. You were determined. ⚜ House Of Disquietude Taglist ⚜ Queens/Kings; @geekywriterabby @Bangtanss @AimeeH @Lexxcisco @SkyBlast @Jaerinn @hskswife @MelissaGarza @SaraDarWish Royalty Family; @AbbyRoscoe @SugaKookieV @LemonLassie @SimplyAwkward @KenyaMendoza @SarahHibbs @EmilyCayetano @twistedPuppy @sarahdarwish If you want to be tagged/untagged please go ahead and ask in the comments below. 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yes. Baekhyun needs a metal bedpan to the head.
5 months ago·Reply
Grrrr those people piss me off . They so mean to her but wanna come out the cut
5 months ago·Reply
OMG baek better be reflecting on what he did....i myself hate when people try to blame others for their actions and saying that the other party is at fault. seriously people need to understand that doing that action can cause someone to harm themselves...but anyways I'm loving the story 💖💖
5 months ago·Reply
i am glad your loving the story!!
5 months ago
Can you please tag me~ I didn't realize I was so behind~
5 months ago·Reply
of course!!
5 months ago
Can you please tag me~
5 months ago·Reply
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Thank you
5 months ago
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