10 months ago1,000+ Views
Who: Reader x Kwon Hyukwoo
What: Angst, Smut (eventually)
Story: Letters come in from your ex explaining his actions that led to your break up. While he seeks redemption he also wonders if you're happier now that you've moved on or if there's a chance to win you back.

Hyukwoo's POV

Where are you now? Are you happy? I don't know what I've done or rather what I was thinking. Perhaps you're not interested in even reading it but I feel you should finish this just in case. There is no excuse for my actions though you asked many times, what had you done? What was it that she had that you didn't? Nothing, honestly she had nothing like you. You two couldn't be compared to each other. It's just a matter of me being selfish. I was. I can't take that back; although, if I had taken a second to think about my actions, if I had just stopped for a minute to ask myself what's wrong maybe I could've stopped myself. When the guys told me you were standing in front of my door while it happened, my heart dropped and I felt sick... Why couldn't I have thought about your face before? I think I had gotten scared because we were so serious at the time. Maybe it was just all the pressure from work, I just know I wanted to stop thinking and start drinking. You know how bad I get when I drink Angel. It's like I'm a totally different person. I know I probably shouldn't call you Angel anymore. I know you'll probably hate the word now. You've probably even stopped reading to roll your eyes when you saw it. You were my Angel though and something possessed me to clip your wings. I put you through so much pain and I can't even explain why I threw it all away. Two years worth of love, promises and memories have been thrown away because of my actions and my inaction of just telling you that I was feeling like shit every day and I couldn't explain why. So much was on my mind and I didn't think to share how I felt. I thought it made me weaker, I thought it made me foolish. A man is meant to be strong and the fact that I was just feeling odd, feeling lost, feeling sad meant that I was weak, I was less. I knew along the lines that I didn't deserve you. When we started out, you said if I didn't want you to just leave you instead. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it a few times. It's not for the reason you think though. I've always wanted you in the middle of cheating but even in the middle of cheating my reason set in and I started to think "This doesn't even make sense". It didn't make sense to hold onto you and risk hurting you while I was cheating but at the same time I couldn't let you go. Maybe it was because she gave me a sense of adventure I know we lost along the way. Again that's my fault I stopped taking you on wild adventures and when you wanted to hang out I usually found a reason not to leave. It wasn't that I didn't want to be seen with you and even less it had started before the cheating. I think I was getting too close to you. It sounds stupid, it sounds lame, it sounds like if I wasn't ready for a relationship I shouldn't have been with you in the first place but I wouldn't let you go for anything. I couldn't. Where are you now and how are you doing? Have you been taking long walks by the beach again? I heard you have someone else now. They say he treats you well, I hate that. Not that he treats you well, that's a great thing, I just hate that I blew my chance and that another man is doing what I should've done from the beginning. Another man is treating you better and giving you a better reason to stay with him than leave. Another man didn't steal you away, I pushed you out the door but I hate that I didn't do all of the things that I said. I miss you Angel. I want you to be happy but I also need to ask you... Would it be okay for me to ask for forgiveness? Could you find it in your heart to tell me that we're okay?

Y/n's POV

~One Year ago~

You were so excited to be going out to the carnival with the guys. You had shown up to Hyukwoo's place and knew that his friends would be in the house waiting for you. You two had been dating for two years and it was amazing except these last few months he had kind of seemed sluggish. He had picked up as an artist and so his schedule was twice as busy. Most of the time he wanted to hide that you two were together to protect you from the public eye. All you ever thought about was how well Hyukwoo took care of you. You adored him so much he was as gentle as a puppy but boy when he drank he was as vicious as a koala. Somehow still cute, just kind of evil and terribly weird. He never remembered much after he drank either. You kept him away from alcohol as much as possible. You weren't a big fan of it and you were told your grandfather was an alcoholic so you tried to keep away from it.

You used your keys to open the door and walked inside. You saw everyone's shoes sitting at the front and took off your sandals before walking in. You stepped inside the small apartment and looked to the kitchen side first. You saw Seonghwa finishing making and sandwhich and then you turned to see Jay and Mintaek sitting on the couch. You smiled and said,

"Hey guys."

Jay and Mintaek looked up at you a bit shocked and you laughed,

"Did you guys forget? You said you were coming to the carnival with us. I've been waiting a while to go I'm so excited!" you said.

Seonghwa came up from behind you and said,

"Um no we didn't forget but we thought that was later."

"It's like an hour from now and you know how Hyukwoo is, he takes longer than me. Mainly because he likes to wait last minute to get ready." you laughed.

"Well why don't we go now and just text Hyukwoo to catch up later okay." Jay said standing up to walk over to you.

He smiled at you but you could feel some odd energy in the room. You ignored it but said,

"Well I've been waiting to go with Hyukwoo for a while now. We set this day aside for our time on purpose. I'll go get him."

You headed for the stairs and Mintaek said,

"Y/n he's not here yet."

"I saw his car out front." you said.

Seonghwa passed Jay and said,

"His car isn't working he's still at the studio working on some tracks he's been up all night."

"Really but we planned this weeks ago how can he-" you stopped when you heard something sound like a slam against the wall.

"What was that?" you asked.

The guys looked at each other all worried seemingly out of words which made you feel uncomfortable. You stood on the first step and looked at all of them. Seonghwa looked at Jay with pressed lips and Jay was looking at you. Mintaek's head was down like a dog in trouble.

"Guys what's going on?" you asked.

"We should go to the carnival, Hyukwoo will meet us later." Jay said.

You sighed,

"Alright fine." you rolled your eyes.

You were about to step down from the step again when you heard the slam again. You looked up the stairs and then back at the boys. They all looked twice as worried now. You looked up the stairs and started to walk up them,

"Y/n let's just go please." Mintaek said.

You looked back over your shoulder to see him standing in front of the couch but you were still walking up the steps. His hands went to his head like a child shielding his hears from a loud boom. You came to Hyukwoo's door and heard moaning. Once again the slam that you had heard twice before had happened again. You heard a woman's moans, you heard Hyukwoo's moans. Your hand reached out for the doorknob and then stopped. Just hearing it was enough to know what was going on. He was cheating on you. Just hearing it was enough to make you go crazy. Just hearing it was enough to break your heart. Flashes of Hyukwoo smiling in your face and asking you to be his girlfriend, the day that you two first met, that sweet puppy smile that captivated you or the day that he took you out on your first date. The time that you two first slept together, the time that you two went to the club with Jay and he was all on you, the time he came to meet your parents. The promises you made, everything. The past two years of your relationship ran through your mind and it broke your heart. It hurt, it brought tears to your eyes like water to a dam. It built up and ran over breaking the dam. The tears streamed like rain fall as you thought about a much prettier woman being in bed with your boyfriend. She probably had long straight hair, maybe she was thinner, longer legs. She was probably sexy, she could pull off that dark sultry red that made men all kinds of weak. She could be a succubus trying to take his soul and at this point you were hoping she would. You hoped she stole his soul and took it to hell. How dare he betray two years with you?

Didn't you tell him the first day you two started dating that you would perfer that he just break up with you before he cheated? He said it wouldn't happen. He said he wouldn't cheat but he gave you his word that he would end it if he didn't feel his whole heart was with you. Did he forget his promise? Did he just not care? You ran down the stairs trying to catch your breath but your eyes were blurred and your tears were nonstop. Your eyeliner wasn't water proof and already started to run to your under eye. You got to the bottom step and could make out the pained faces that they all had on.

"You knew he was doing this?" you cried.

You didn't even see her shoes at the door, they were probably in a rush. He probably carried her up. It was making you sick.

"We're sorry Y/n." Seongwha said.

"Why would you hide that from me? Do you think it was fair for me to find out like this? I can understand wanting to protect him but do none of you believe this is wrong?" you said crying.

"We knew it would hurt you but he said he wouldn't see her again." Jay said.

"So that makes it right? That makes it okay to just step out of our relationship if it's just one time? What if a woman did that to you Jay? Or you Seonghwa, that model girlfriend of yours, you two aren't even serious but wouldn't it hurt, wouldn't it be shitty if she was cheating on you and they knew the whole time and didn't say anything? It's not about loyalty to Hyukwoo it's about knowing right from wrong. Don't you know this is wrong?" you said.

Mintaek looked away from you like he understood what you were saying but he just couldn't say anything back. You sniffed but only cried harder.

"I have to get out of here." you said.

You headed for the door,

"Y/n let me drive you home." Jay offered.

"No. I don't want any help from any of you. Just tell Hyukwoo to lose my number and I never want to see him again."

The necklace he bought you that said Life you snapped off your neck and tossed it to the ground. You took off the promise ring he gave you and dropped it to the floor. You'd pack his stuff at your place and leave it at the door tomorrow before you went to work. If you went to work. You were just crying too hard to really think about what came next. Hyukwoo had a necklace that said Mana. He gave you life because he said you gave him life while he gave you power. You felt powerless now. He'd sucked all your mana. He took it away from you, he stole your heart and then broke it as if the warning label that said fragile wasn't even there. He betrayed you, he hurt you. You walked down the side walk bawling your eyes out. How could this happen? Did he not love you any more? God did he ever love you? Was the past two years just a waste of time. You couldn't get those years back, you were two years older, two years out of dating, two years with a heart given to someone else. It hurt twice as much because when you loved you gave your all. You gave your heart, you loved hard, full and long and he had taken advantage of that. He had used it as a pass time and didn't even grant you the decency to break it off before he started sleeping with other women.

You had to ride the bus the to train with wet eyes and then the train past three stops with red puffy eyes. One man reached over and gave you a napkin to wipe your eyes which you were grateful for because you were starting to look like a racoon. You got home and slept through the rest of the day. You weren't going to the carnival, you should've just listened to the boys and walked out with them. You'd still be living in a lie until he decided to break it off but you wondered if that would've hurt less then finding out like this. Were they laughing behind your back, thinking you were a fool for loving him? His innocent puppy routine was so convincing but he became like a hyena, laughing in your face after his attack. You felt worse and worse with each passing minute and some how became a recluse in your home for two days. Nothing to eat and little to drink. No call from Hyukwoo, did he know you heard? Did he know what he had done? Did he even remember that he was supposed to go out to the Carnival with you? The plans you made weeks ago because of some random floosey bitch. Maybe that's why he kept you out of the public eye to make it seem like he was single. That had turned your heartbreak into anger and soon you found yourself burning pictures of you two. You were smashing things in your house and then you wound up cutting your hair. You had some hair dye in your cabniet that you were going to do but you had gotten busy and forgot about it. You died your hair blonde and then did your make up to hide your racoon eyes. They were still puffy and dark from crying. You went to a conveince store to get food but then you headed to the bar. There was one not to far from your house and you never gave it a second thought but for once, a drink sounded really good. After two days of heartbreak, you were looking for something that would end it. In your mind, you and Hyukwoo were broken up, you weren't looking for a man though, you were looking for an escape. Your heart was shattered into too many pieces and those pieces seem to cut away at your soul as if the heart ache wasn't enough. You couldn't catch a break you were just suffereing all over.

You got to the bar and had like two shots of soju and you still weren't feeling anything. No you were feeling, you were feeling too much. So you drank more, you drank like tomorrow wasn't coming, like the hangover you'd have wasn't a big deal. You drank like you weren't able to kill your liver. When you were done with Soju, you went to something else, something stronger. You went and danced a little on the dance floor before things felt a bit hazy and weird. You headed to the bathroom and threw up. It was like the hardest task in the world to walk back out. You were stumbling around before someone caught you by the arm and said,

"Alright come on we're getting you home."

What you had done in your drunken fit was text Mintaek thinking he was Hyukwoo and you were spewing out about how you hated his guts. You were going to sleep with the bartender and when Mintaek realized that you were at a bar he said that he was on his way to pick you up. You told him you didn't want to see his face but you didn't realize he wasn't Hyukwoo. Mintaek knew about the bar by your place and so he came in time to get you just after you had pucked your guts out. Waking up the neck morning, with him next to your bed, was probably twice as humilitating as when you found out Hyukwoo was cheating.

"Does he know you're here?" you whispered.

Mintaek shook his head. It hurt to cry but you wanted to. You wanted to separate yourself and just let the broken part cry until she faded away while you went back to normal.

"That was dangerous of you." he said softly.

"He killed me Mintaek. He's killed me and he doesn't care. He doesn't care that he's destoryed me and that hurts. So danger of being taken advantage of is nothing to me. He wouldn't care anyway."

"I would. I would care because that's not right. I know he hurt you, we all do but killing yourself doesn't make it better."

"Suffering through it doesn't either." you groaned.

"No but it makes you stronger. Ju Kyung punched him in the face when he found out what he did. He told him he was the most disgusting person he ever laid eyes on. They haven't talked for days." he said.

"Ju Kyung didn't know?"

Mintaek shook his head,

"He's been visiting family in Gwangju for a while so he didn't know until he came back."

You heard the front door creeking open and then Hyukwoo's voice reach your ears.

"Y/n?" he asked cautiously.

Mintaek stood up, you forgot about his key to your place. A matching set just like everything else.

"Don't let him take your life Y/n. It hurts now but if you've ended it then you have power to take your life back. Don't let him get away with it." Mintaek whispered before he walked out.

You nodded but covered yourself with the blanket covers.

"What are you doing here?" Hyukwoo said annoyed.

"She got drunk last night I brought her home. I just came to check on her. Her head is pounding, don't give her any problems." Minatek warned.

"Don't tell me how to handle my girlfriend." he said.

That was a laugh, did he really think you two were still together after what he had done? Did he even know you knew or did they not say anything?

"When a girl tells you to lose her number and gives back things like a promise ring and a couples necklace, the last thing you should do is call her your girlfriend." Mintaek said.

Hyukwoo scoffed but you heard footsteps come into your room and the distinct sound of your front door creaking shut again. You curled up more under the covers becoming as small as possible. You wanted to cry, scream and throw up. You hated him. You hated your precious puppy because he wasn't a puppy he was a vicious Koala. He was a Tiger, he was a Hyena, he was a deadly creature that had stolen your heart and broke it.

"Y/n?" he said unsure.

The first words that came to you was,

"Go to hell."
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Omo omo omo omo!!! What do we have here?! I need start a collection for just you... But I love it!! They're all assholes and yay Ju Kyung for punching him, although he should have beat his ass. Lmfaoo but I'm glad someone did it
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yea I'm thinking so too. lol
Good gracious woman!!!! My feelz!!!! Bad puppy, BAD PUPPY!!!
Omo, so good! and such a cliffhanger, gimme more!
yeah... Craig gets her own collection in my listing.... this is good!!
lol thank you