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Word Count: 2019
Thump, thump, thump.
Your heart is pounding out of your chest that you swear someone down the hall could hear it. There’s no way that it could be him, but you would never mistaken anyone else's voice for his. Jihyun allowed you to take off the neck brace so your head was facing the door and you were completely focused to see if it was really him. The door slowly opened and it is him. You felt frozen just like you had when you bumped into him months ago on the street. The only way you were able to see him after he left was reliving your memories together like a movie.
You blink over and over again making sure you weren’t imagining this. Your eyes are locked on him. You take in everything about him. How innocent his eyes looked, how his hair flawlessly fell blocking his vision of you, how he brushed his hair out of his face, and how happy he looked when he saw you.
“Ho-how did you...wh-why are you here?” you manage to choke out after what seems like eternity of him standing there.
“I know I have no right to be here, but I really needed to see you.”
You momentarily forgot where you were and shifted around uncomfortably because you didn’t want him to see you like this.
“Still as clumsy as ever are we?” he said with a small laugh.
For a moment you felt no pain. No pain from your injuries, or your anxiety. It was like time stood still. His laugh was like the cure you’ve been looking for since he left and he was the only medicine that would ever help you get any better.
“I...got in an accident.” you quietly say looking down to avoid all eye contact.
“I know...I...I should have been there for you. To protect you. I’m sorry Y/N.” he responds grabbing a hold of your hand.
His hand on yours felt like a jolt of electricity running through your body. It was the touch you’ve been longing for all these years.
“How would you have known? It’s not your fault Jimin.” you say placing your hand on his reassuring him.
“If I never left you to begin with...if I was here when you needed me the most.” he trails off not being able to say anything else.
Silence fills the air.
“Jimin. Look at me. I’m still here, I’m still alive. It is not too late to…” you say squeezing his hand.
He looked down with tears filling his eyes.
“I’m sorry Y/N...but I think it is too late.”
“What do you mean?” you ask your voice getting caught in your throat.
“I...I’m sorry I have to disappoint you one last time. Although it’s unforgivable, I really hope that someday you will be able to forgive me.” he says looking straight into your eyes.
When you look back into his eyes, he looks broken, like there was something he really wanted to tell you but couldn’t find the words to.
“Wh-what Jimin? What is it?” you say, panic starting to fill your chest.
You feel yourself being shaken and you open your eyes. It’s morning and you’re drenched in your sweat.
“Noona, are you okay? You were yelling in your sleep.”
“Jihyun…? Where’s Jimin?” you ask frantically.
He looks at you at first confused, but you can see the panic in his eyes. “What do you mean? He’s not here.”
“Jihyun. I feel it. I just have a feeling that something is wrong.”
“Noona, you don’t have to worry about anything. He’s fine.” he says trying to reassure you.
“You wouldn’t lie to me would you Jihyun? Please just tell me the truth.”
“I think you should hear it from him yourself noona. It’s not my place to tell…” he says quietly.
“Where is he?”
“Here...in the hospital.”
“The hospital…? Why...why would he be here?” You start to think of all different possibilities that it could be and you feel your anxiety rising again.
“Noona, I think it’s best if you just rest. I promise I will take you to see him when you are able to get up on your own. Now do you feel any pain anywhere?”
“I...I’m fine. I just have a pain on the right side of my head still, but that’s mainly it. It’s bearable now though.”
“Okay...we’re still monitoring you. So I’ll leave a note on your paperwork to let the nurse take one more x-ray.”
Jihyun checks your charts one last time and leaves to allow you to get some sleep. You can’t help to think about the dream you had with Jimin in it.
I...I’m sorry I have to disappoint you one last time. Although it’s unforgivable, I really hope that someday you will be able to forgive me.
Why did it seem like he was trying to tell you something? Should you really be reading this much into a dream? It felt too real to just be a dream though. First the dream with your parents, about someone needing you...was it Jimin? You felt uneasy all day and were determined to find out what Jihyun was hiding.
The day went by like any other day, the week soon flew by like any other week, and the month went by in a blur.
Jihyun finally approved for your the casts on your arm and leg to be taken off. It’s been over two month since your accident happened, and still no word from Jihyun about Jimin. No matter how much you tried to get him to tell you, he wouldn’t budge. He was persistent that you hear it from Jimin, but every time you asked him you could see sadness in his eyes, which made you worry even more. If your cast were taken off any sooner you would have searched the hospital from top to bottom to find him yourself.
“Jihyun now can you-”
He interrupted you mid sentence.
“Noona. Please. We’re in the middle of taking your casts off, please be patient.”
You sighed. “I’m sorry Jihyun...I just can’t wait.”
You were so thankful for how patient Jihyun has been with you this whole time. You know how stubborn you can be when you have your mind set to something, and are surprised Jihyun hasn’t blown up on you yet.
“I know, I know noona.”
You patiently waited in silence while he removed the rest of the cast on your leg and he asked you to slowly stand on your own. You wobble at first and are able to stand up without holding onto anything. He smiles at you and says,
“There you go noona, as good as new.”
“Thank you Jihyun. For everything, I wouldn’t have picked any other doctor than you.”
“You didn’t really have a choice at the time, but thank you.” he said with a laugh.
“I know...but if I were able to choose, I still would have picked you!” you joked back.
You walk across your room a couple of times to make sure your leg was okay, and Jihyun told you to stay tight and that you could be released as early as tomorrow.
You happily sat back on your hospital bed and thought about actually leaving the hospital and getting some fresh air. The other part of you was dreading to find out what was happening to Jimin. Later in the day Jihyun came back into your room and stood in the doorway in silence. He gave you a look and you just nodded in response. You got up and started following him. You both went to the fifth floor and he led you to a room. The name on the door read Park Jimin. Your heart completely sank. Even though Jihyun already told you he was in the hospital, a part of you didn’t want to believe him.
“I’ll stay out here noona. If you need me, please just call me.”
You hesitate to open the door and look at Jihyun and he just nods. You slowly reach for the door and slide it open. The first thing you see is the hospital bed dimly lit by the lights in the room. You blink a couple times to readjust your eyes to the darkness. You slowly walk closer to the bed and see him. He is hooked onto many machines and there are tubes and wires coming from all over him that you can't even count how many there are. His eyes were closed but his face was so pale. He looked so frail laying there and looked so helpless. He looked like the complete opposite of what he looked like in your dream. The walk from the door to the bed felt like a mile and your feet felt like you had weights strapped to them.
You finally make it to the bed and instantly grab his hand out of instinct. Even though it’s been over two years since you’ve touched him, it just all came naturally. Without even realizing it you had tears falling from your eyes. You go to wipe them with your other hand and feel his fingers moving from under your hand. You pull your hand away from his and quickly back away from the bed, you hit the side table as a result and accidentally knock his phone off the table.
“Shoot.” you say under your breath.
You bend down to get it and accidently push a button on the side of the phone. The screen lights up and you see a familiar picture as his background. You look at the picture closely and you see him and...you. The picture was taken years ago when you two first started dating. You look at the screen confused. Why would he still have this as his background if you weren’t together anymore?
You hear him move and you quickly put his phone back on the table and look at him. His eyes are starting to open and you can’t seem to move. A part of you wants to run out of the room and the other part wants to stay and ask him a million questions. You can’t take your eyes off of him and his eyes are now completely open. It’s too late to leave without being noticed, so you only have the choice to stay. He turns his head and looks at you with complete shock.
“Wh-what what are you...Y/N? Ho-how are you even...how did you kn-know I was here?”
His words came out all jumbled together and his eyes searched yours for answers.
“Hi Jimin…” was all that you could manage to get out.
“Y/N...is it...really you?” he slowly asked still shocked you were standing there.
“Yes, it’s really me.”
You walk closer to his bed and stand inches away from him.
“Do you know how many times I’ve dreamed of you walking through those doors? I would wake up and there would be no trace of you. I can’t believe this is happening right now.”
Although you were so happy to hear that he wanted to see you all this time, you still needed to figure out what was going on.
“Jimin...what is...what is happening to you?” you ask dreading the answer you’re about to hear.
“I...I’m sorry Y/N. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Everyday I struggle with the decision I made to leave you. Part of me never wanted to see you again, to not bring you down with me. The other part of me wishes that I should have spent all the time I have left with you.”
“Wh-what do you mean all the time you have left?” you say while grabbing onto the side table to brace yourself for the words that were about to come out of his mouth.
“Two years ago....I was diagnosed with terminal cancer.”
And with those words, you felt your world come crashing down.
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